Numpties - This Time Its War!
Discussion
Hi all,
Good to be back in old Blighty after a week in Greece I have to say!
During my holiday er' indoors and I, her being a biker and me fancying giving it a go decide to hire mopeds from one of these hire-a-bike resort places (I know bikes and mopeds arent really the same thing
) which in retrospect probably wasnt the brightest idea.
So I get on this little 80cc Speedfight thing, don my helmet and we head off towards Rhodes Town. After 5 or so minutes of the wind in my face, the sun beating down on my back and this poor little bike wheezing beneath my not isignificant weight I decide that this 2 wheeled business has some marvellous potential.
Little known to me Bert and Doris Numpty and their friends Mr & Mrs Veston Pance are also enjoying an idyllic drive in a rental Hyuandia Atos through Rhodes finest country side, taking in the sights and smells of our European bretheren and generally congratulating themselves how much nicer this is than the Thursday Morning Derby and Joan at Bridlington Leisure Centre.
The wind still rushing, the sun still beating and the 'ped wheezing even more as we are now going a substantial hill I become aware of the aforementioned hextagerian euro travellers. Being that the immense engine of the Atos can propel it, 4 numpties, a boxload of crap pottery and a stuffed comedy cat up a hill at 10 or so MPH more than a fat bloke on a scooter they decide it appropriate to overtake me at about a distance of 2ft to my left. So they do.
It was just at that moment that Berts memory kicked in and he remembered that he shouldnt be driving on the left, unfortunately for me that thought took much higher priority than the recently passed overtaking thought and a simple matter of physics decided that he was in fact having the piece of road that my asthmatic transport and I were currently occupying. But only be just enough, almost in a poltergeist sense by not actually hitting me but for a brief second giving me absolutely nowhere to go.
I swerved, being a first timer, swerved again and left the road. There being no kerbs it was only gravel left to ride on and again, being a novice, didnt actually know about braking on gravel (hey, I'm a novice and it was a bit of a shock!). The bike goes one way, gravity does its job and I hit the ground. Upshot being now not much skin on left arm and left ankle, 2 buggered fingers and an enormous amount of respect for bikers everywhere because all it takes is something a numpty wouldnt even consider.
The most worrying thing however is that I think they were British and that Bert Numpty isnt a name to protect the innocent or in accordance with Teds no name and shame. I have to call him that. Because he didnt stop!
Matt.
aka Skinloss
Good to be back in old Blighty after a week in Greece I have to say!
During my holiday er' indoors and I, her being a biker and me fancying giving it a go decide to hire mopeds from one of these hire-a-bike resort places (I know bikes and mopeds arent really the same thing
) which in retrospect probably wasnt the brightest idea. So I get on this little 80cc Speedfight thing, don my helmet and we head off towards Rhodes Town. After 5 or so minutes of the wind in my face, the sun beating down on my back and this poor little bike wheezing beneath my not isignificant weight I decide that this 2 wheeled business has some marvellous potential.
Little known to me Bert and Doris Numpty and their friends Mr & Mrs Veston Pance are also enjoying an idyllic drive in a rental Hyuandia Atos through Rhodes finest country side, taking in the sights and smells of our European bretheren and generally congratulating themselves how much nicer this is than the Thursday Morning Derby and Joan at Bridlington Leisure Centre.
The wind still rushing, the sun still beating and the 'ped wheezing even more as we are now going a substantial hill I become aware of the aforementioned hextagerian euro travellers. Being that the immense engine of the Atos can propel it, 4 numpties, a boxload of crap pottery and a stuffed comedy cat up a hill at 10 or so MPH more than a fat bloke on a scooter they decide it appropriate to overtake me at about a distance of 2ft to my left. So they do.
It was just at that moment that Berts memory kicked in and he remembered that he shouldnt be driving on the left, unfortunately for me that thought took much higher priority than the recently passed overtaking thought and a simple matter of physics decided that he was in fact having the piece of road that my asthmatic transport and I were currently occupying. But only be just enough, almost in a poltergeist sense by not actually hitting me but for a brief second giving me absolutely nowhere to go.
I swerved, being a first timer, swerved again and left the road. There being no kerbs it was only gravel left to ride on and again, being a novice, didnt actually know about braking on gravel (hey, I'm a novice and it was a bit of a shock!). The bike goes one way, gravity does its job and I hit the ground. Upshot being now not much skin on left arm and left ankle, 2 buggered fingers and an enormous amount of respect for bikers everywhere because all it takes is something a numpty wouldnt even consider.
The most worrying thing however is that I think they were British and that Bert Numpty isnt a name to protect the innocent or in accordance with Teds no name and shame. I have to call him that. Because he didnt stop!
Matt.
aka Skinloss
I've had a few ground, sky, ground affair on me (push)bike from my years of mountain biking.
By god is it painful when you try and pull the sheets off the (now) scabbed over bits.
Neeeeeooooowwwwwww
Edited to say - bloody html malarky Ted!
>> Edited by neil_cardiff on Monday 21st October 17:30
By god is it painful when you try and pull the sheets off the (now) scabbed over bits.
Neeeeeooooowwwwwww
Edited to say - bloody html malarky Ted!
>> Edited by neil_cardiff on Monday 21st October 17:30
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