Common assault (DV)- charged?
Discussion
Hi,
I’ve been in an abusive relationship for 2.5 yrs with a violent alcoholic (yes. I know)
Last Monday I was accused of hitting her by her sister (who was not there during a really bad row). I did not strike her. was arrested and spent 15hrs in a cell. (Never been in trouble before)
The duty solicitor said ‘no comment’ took a statement and said 100% it will result in no further action.
For more peace of mind I have been working with an specialist who has reviewed of much of the video evidence - ‘she clearly has profound alcohol problems and one video shows her attacking you. You are also clearly very patient.’ He will speak to the PC who makes the decision to move to charge (I think) and he will share the most egregious videos. I even have texts from said sister saying she knows my soon to be ex has major issues. Lawyer up to about £2k but I don’t really care at the moment.
Question - if it’s her word agin mine - will it likely go to nfa anyway? I’m really just looking to get advice from people who’ve been here before.
We have been married since July (she was sober a year before I agreed you it). She’s already moved out, I’m allowed back to the house but can’t say a word to her on a bail condition so I’m not risking it and staying 120 miles away with me ex wife! She’s even agreed to half the mortgage payments while we sell up. This is we think because she doesn’t want the videos to come out.
Thank you for reading
I’ve been in an abusive relationship for 2.5 yrs with a violent alcoholic (yes. I know)
Last Monday I was accused of hitting her by her sister (who was not there during a really bad row). I did not strike her. was arrested and spent 15hrs in a cell. (Never been in trouble before)
The duty solicitor said ‘no comment’ took a statement and said 100% it will result in no further action.
For more peace of mind I have been working with an specialist who has reviewed of much of the video evidence - ‘she clearly has profound alcohol problems and one video shows her attacking you. You are also clearly very patient.’ He will speak to the PC who makes the decision to move to charge (I think) and he will share the most egregious videos. I even have texts from said sister saying she knows my soon to be ex has major issues. Lawyer up to about £2k but I don’t really care at the moment.
Question - if it’s her word agin mine - will it likely go to nfa anyway? I’m really just looking to get advice from people who’ve been here before.
We have been married since July (she was sober a year before I agreed you it). She’s already moved out, I’m allowed back to the house but can’t say a word to her on a bail condition so I’m not risking it and staying 120 miles away with me ex wife! She’s even agreed to half the mortgage payments while we sell up. This is we think because she doesn’t want the videos to come out.
Thank you for reading
Edited by DickusMaximus on Thursday 15th December 13:58
I have previous experience of dealing with this type of investigation, it will depend on a number of factors:
Has the complainant made a statement of complaint, i.e has our wife made a statement which states you have assaulted her, or indeed made a statement or report of any kind?
Is there any previous Police involvement between the two of you?
Does your wife have any injuries that could be the result of an assault?
Do you or your wife have any previous dealing with the Police outside of this matter?
Your solicitor is brave if he has said 100% nothing will happen, he/she can make an assessment of course based on thier experience and knowledge of the case of course.
As a side note it is highly unlikely the Police will make a decision on a DV case either way, the standard route is to refer all DV cases to the Crown Prosecution Service for a decision on charging.
Has the complainant made a statement of complaint, i.e has our wife made a statement which states you have assaulted her, or indeed made a statement or report of any kind?
Is there any previous Police involvement between the two of you?
Does your wife have any injuries that could be the result of an assault?
Do you or your wife have any previous dealing with the Police outside of this matter?
Your solicitor is brave if he has said 100% nothing will happen, he/she can make an assessment of course based on thier experience and knowledge of the case of course.
As a side note it is highly unlikely the Police will make a decision on a DV case either way, the standard route is to refer all DV cases to the Crown Prosecution Service for a decision on charging.
Jamescrs said:
I have previous experience of dealing with this type of investigation, it will depend on a number of factors:
Has the complainant made a statement of complaint, i.e has our wife made a statement which states you have assaulted her, or indeed made a statement or report of any kind?
I believe her sister made the allegation, not my wife
Is there any previous Police involvement between the two of you?
No, none
Does your wife have any injuries that could be the result of an assault?
A bruise on her back - from a fall
Do you or your wife have any previous dealing with the Police outside of this matter?
None at all
Your solicitor is brave if he has said 100% nothing will happen, he/she can make an assessment of course based on thier experience and knowledge of the case of course.
He’s an ex-police officer. My actual paid lawyer said he’d never make such a bold assertion
As a side note it is highly unlikely the Police will make a decision on a DV case either way, the standard route is to refer all DV cases to the Crown Prosecution Service for a decision on charging.
Ah. Would that be based on evidence then ‘cos there’s none.Has the complainant made a statement of complaint, i.e has our wife made a statement which states you have assaulted her, or indeed made a statement or report of any kind?
I believe her sister made the allegation, not my wife
Is there any previous Police involvement between the two of you?
No, none
Does your wife have any injuries that could be the result of an assault?
A bruise on her back - from a fall
Do you or your wife have any previous dealing with the Police outside of this matter?
None at all
Your solicitor is brave if he has said 100% nothing will happen, he/she can make an assessment of course based on thier experience and knowledge of the case of course.
He’s an ex-police officer. My actual paid lawyer said he’d never make such a bold assertion
As a side note it is highly unlikely the Police will make a decision on a DV case either way, the standard route is to refer all DV cases to the Crown Prosecution Service for a decision on charging.
The PC just called re my counter-allegations and they are seemingly keen to go for her based on the video evidence. I’ve said to my lawyer that if I’m to make a ‘formal’ statement and for the video evidence to bd made public then I need you think. She is hugely vulnerable and any publicity would destroy her. (Yes I know I’m the victim but that’s how I feel. Not untypical I’m sure)
porterpainter said:
Just out of interest, what do you mean by making the videos public? I understand the phrase, but unless you or she is some kind of celebrity it’s not like media outlets are going to be able or interested in obtaining said footage or publishing it
Her ‘public’image is important to her but she’s not a celeb. It would be the whole polis / court / family thing. Perhaps she’s lacking in maturity though and I get your point. She’s also hugely vulnerable psychologically. I wouldn’t want something truly awful on my conscience. Been sent to plenty of similar incidents.
First thing we looked for were physical signs of injury and if the residence had indications of a fight, such as overturned furniture etc.
Lots of photos taken even if there were no visible marks, and passed onto the DA for their review to see if there was enough evidence to prosecute.
A simple "he said she said" was never enough without tangible evidence.
First thing we looked for were physical signs of injury and if the residence had indications of a fight, such as overturned furniture etc.
Lots of photos taken even if there were no visible marks, and passed onto the DA for their review to see if there was enough evidence to prosecute.
A simple "he said she said" was never enough without tangible evidence.
DickusMaximus said:
elanfan said:
Maybe she needs to be ‘destroyed’ as you put if. A public conviction and humiliation might help change her ways.
She won’t I think change. She lasted a year sober then it was back to me finding empty vodka bottles ‘hidden’ in my grandson’s bedroom. Secondly though, the evidence against her is leverage that seems to be having the effect of her being co-operative at the moment. Once you fire that missile then any leverage you once had is now gone. Sure, it might well be sufficiently destructive, but it could equally cause her to retaliate now that she has nothing else to lose.
Your first priority is to protect yourself, and only you know her well enough to know which course will best achieve that. Of course you probably don't wish her any ill will but, once you're out of there, she's not only no longer your problem, but you also want to be out in such a way that she remains out of your life for good, and has neither the reason, ability or desire to come back and haunt you.
QJumper said:
DickusMaximus said:
elanfan said:
Maybe she needs to be ‘destroyed’ as you put if. A public conviction and humiliation might help change her ways.
She won’t I think change. She lasted a year sober then it was back to me finding empty vodka bottles ‘hidden’ in my grandson’s bedroom. Secondly though, the evidence against her is leverage that seems to be having the effect of her being co-operative at the moment. Once you fire that missile then any leverage you once had is now gone. Sure, it might well be sufficiently destructive, but it could equally cause her to retaliate now that she has nothing else to lose.
Your first priority is to protect yourself, and only you know her well enough to know which course will best achieve that. Of course you probably don't wish her any ill will but, once you're out of there, she's not only no longer your problem, but you also want to be out in such a way that she remains out of your life for good, and has neither the reason, ability or desire to come back and haunt you.
You are under no obligation to protect her from her own actions. In fact, some might even suggest that hiding or playing down her violence while drunk and her drinking is a form of enabling.
You're the victim, she's the violent alcoholic who now has a history of making serious false allegations against you. Given a free pass she won't think twice about doing that again. Protect yourself, not her.
You're the victim, she's the violent alcoholic who now has a history of making serious false allegations against you. Given a free pass she won't think twice about doing that again. Protect yourself, not her.
Look at it another way, you could actually help her by making this public (i.e. progressing complaint against her) as it will show there are consequences for her actions. She doesn't appear to be able to change on her own, and it get much worse for her if she doesn't so maybe a shock will start to make her think differently. I know you don't want to hurt her, but in failing to act you are enabling her behaviour - it won't help in long run.
Good luck, horrible situation.
Good luck, horrible situation.
100% NFA. I have been trough it. But I admitted pushing past her in interview and got charged for reckless common assault. If I’d of have “no comment” the CPS wouldn’t have charged. Stupidly plead guilty against my solicitors advice, just before Christmas and wanted it over to see the kids and wife due to bail conditions.
Listen to your lawyer.
I investigated a DV where it was alleged the male had punched the female. No injury. However rather than making no comment he said, under caution, that they had argued and he poured a cup of juice over her but he didn't punch her..
Convicted after trial at Glasgow Sheriff Court of assaulting her by pouring the juice over her.
As he was a social worker this may have affected his employment as well.
PS I would take your lawyer's advice over anything you get here.
I investigated a DV where it was alleged the male had punched the female. No injury. However rather than making no comment he said, under caution, that they had argued and he poured a cup of juice over her but he didn't punch her..
Convicted after trial at Glasgow Sheriff Court of assaulting her by pouring the juice over her.
As he was a social worker this may have affected his employment as well.
PS I would take your lawyer's advice over anything you get here.
DickusMaximus said:
Yes - I gut the call saying it’s NFA yesterday evening. Now it’s about deciding to permit my lawyer to share the videos with the investigating officer and sorting the house. It has been a remarkably good day just knowing I’m free of her. So much for love, eh?
I'm sorry to say this but that isn't love.Love is sharing, helping each other through the bad times, celebrating the good times and believing in each other.
Your wife will either seek help or drink herself into a corner, that is NOT your responsibility.
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