RE: 2023 Alpina D4 S Gran Coupe | PH Review
RE: 2023 Alpina D4 S Gran Coupe | PH Review
Friday 23rd December 2022

2023 Alpina D4 S Gran Coupe | PH Review

Alpina's boisterous diesel engine is back in sleek Gran Coupe format


We drove Alpina’s wholly persuasive take on the 4 Series Gran Coupe not so long ago. It returns this month with two noteworthy alterations. One, the grille has been tastefully (and mercifully) optioned in understated black; two, the 3.0-litre straight-six petrol motor has been swapped out for the rumbly charms of BMW’s equivalent oil burner. The new D4 S is slower, heavier, and, given the societal noose slowly tightening around the neck of diesel engines generally, certainly the less popular option. It is unlikely to be a common sight in the UK, not with prestige hybrid models supplanting compression ignition at a rate most grey squirrels would think overzealous. 

How times have changed. Two decades ago, the prospect of a black pump-sucking 355hp straight-six in a swish BMW fastback would’ve warmed the cockles of any put-upon car magazine staffer. Back then, of course, Alpina’s reworked diesel engines were regarded with something like wonder, appearing as they did among innumerable HMRC-friendly, four-cylinder clones. More often than not, the tuner’s handiwork promised power and parsimony in unrivalled measure, bettering even BMW’s high benchmark for the kind of performance one could expect from a car distinguished by a ‘D’ in its badge. 

Fickle legislation and public opinion might have steered righteously away from diesel, yet (not for the first time this year) the D4 S’s voracious 3.0-litre unit provides ample opportunity to marvel at its fall from favour. Granted, it’s not new - this is the same breathed-on B57 motor that features in the Alpina D3 S - and its output is unchanged. But it does its thing so splendidly that you forgive its broadly familiar, big-chested chug. In fact, short of driving the D4 S back-to-back with a fully-charged Porsche Taycan, its ultra-amenable, low-key charm is probably going to wash over you like a second saucepan of mulled wine. 

There are several good reasons for this. There is the enlivening presence of 538lb ft of shove at 1,750rpm, for one thing. Alpina has traditionally regarded torque as the ideal balm to the tiresome chafe that is modern-day driving, and, as it has proven elsewhere, the B57 generates it on an industrial scale. The B4 GC did this too, of course, but in the petrol-powered model you’re inevitably encouraged to chase engine speed, with 495hp located beyond 5,000rpm. In the D4 S, you remain happily camped in its prolific mid-range, generally uninterested in what might be at the summit thanks to the ever-attentive ZF automatic and impressive throttle response. 

Granted, there’s no crisp satisfaction to be had from flicking through the gears like there is in the B4 - but there’s no suspicion of abrasiveness at low speed, either, or the lingering impression that Alpina has been forced to gently muzzle the M3’s ferocious six-pot in the pursuit of better refinement. The B57 is unmistakably a diesel engine in its delivery and distant clamour - and would obviously suit an M car about as well as welly boots do Kylian Mbappé - yet it succeeds wonderfully at the much subtler job of being a buttoned-down Alpina. 

As ever, it helps that the car around it is sensationally well-targeted at the same objective. The tuner’s unshakeable conviction that purposeful handling needn’t compromise absorbent ride quality is once again to the fore. Whatever suspension settings Alpina has ordained for the slightly weightier D4 S, they work superbly well - to the extent that it might even shade the level of comfort offered by the B4. Gnarled B roads, of the sort to seriously hinder a hunkered-down fast saloon, are smoothed into insignificance by its glossy wheel control. Meaning you go faster, for longer, happier. 

Much like the B3 Touring we drove earlier this month, the happiness is located not just in the D4 S’s capacity for filtering out intrusive jolts, but leaving in a tangible connection to the road surface. You feel cleverly isolated by the adaptive chassis, never detached. And while the change of direction isn’t as honed or as precise as it would be in an M car, the rear-bias all-wheel-drive system and sinewy steering mean it’s not much less gratifying at eight-tenths - exactly the sort of fast road speeds Alpina is hoping to excel at when it takes BMWs apart and thoughtfully puts them back together again. 

Coincidentally, it’s also the kind of real-world, in-gear performance the beefier B57 revels in. With no thrilling red line to hunt down - or even a meaningful manual gearshift to make - you settle into precisely the kind of imperturbable flow that underlines the car’s dynamic finesse. Throw in a predictably upmarket interior and the same primped bodywork as the B4, not to mention the liftback boot lid that nudges overall practicality up a notch, and you’re left with quite the riposte to any number of high-priced petrol-electric options. It’ll even average 40.9mpg if you give it a fighting chance. 

Obviously, none of that means it’ll turn back the rising tide. The majority of buyers will barely register the D4 S, and even among oil-burning devotees, the £8k difference in starting price between it and the really rather good M340d might seem hard to justify. Having said that, BMW doesn’t sell the M440d in Gran Coupe format (or not currently in the UK, at any rate) which does rather amplify the D4 S’s nonconformist, Q-car appeal. Moreover, the deeply felt contentment it tends to evoke in its driver is a rare commodity even among luxury carmakers. Additional evidence of Alpina’s deep understanding of its owners’ priorities, yes - but also a compelling reason to grab one while you still can.


SPECIFICATION | 2023 ALPINA D4 S GRAN COUPE

Engine: 2993cc, six-cylinder, turbocharged
Transmission: Eight-speed auto, all-wheel drive
Power (hp): 355 @ 4000rpm
Torque (lb ft): 538 @ 1750rpm
0-62mph: 4.8 secs
Top speed: 168mph
Weight: 2020kg (unladen) 
MPG: 40.9mpg
CO2: 182g/km
Price: £65,700 (£81,910 as tested)

Author
Discussion

JWH

Original Poster:

512 posts

294 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
Lovely way of getting around.

Can I suggest to the author that sometimes less is more in respect to the adjective count?

pb8g09

3,248 posts

99 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
That wasn't the easiest read and I got the impression the reviewer doesn't particularly like diesels anymore.

I think if you like the previous generation 640d then something like this would probably feel not too dissimilar. If it fits your needs/usage profile then I really don't see how you can view this as a bad car. The grill is growing on me, which alarms me, though I think it's definitely colour sensitive.

foxhounduk

704 posts

210 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
I'm still waving the flag for diesel.
Torque and economy.
What's wrong with that?
I had a 335d about 10 years ago, lovely machine. I'd def' give this Alpina a go.

C.MW

491 posts

99 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
No amount of Alpina magic can fix the look of this car as long as it leaves the factory with that massive fugly grille. What a typical example of 'we know better' bullst.

Sulphur Man

302 posts

163 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
The order books or diesel Range Rovers and Defenders suggest talk of the demise of diesel is very premature.

If manufacturer's continue making heavier and heavier cars, diesel's relevance gets stronger still.

I get why ULEZ's need to exist, but it's for the manufacturers to keep pushing on with cleaner diesel's, as there's little out there to match them in larger cars.

jbforce10

509 posts

205 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
C.MW said:
No amount of Alpina magic can fix the look of this car as long as it leaves the factory with that massive fugly grille. What a typical example of 'we know better' bullst.
As Alpina was recently acquired by BMW, I can't imagine they'd do anything as drastic as redesigning the front grille. That would be as good as BMW admitting it themselves that they made a bad choice in the host car's original design.

Bencolem

1,185 posts

269 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
Nic Cackett said:
In fact, short of driving the D4 S back-to-back with a fully-charged Porsche Taycan, its ultra-amenable, low-key charm is probably going to wash over you like a second saucepan of mulled wine.
Who writes this guff? Please stop. The writing style is just ridiculous.

Edited by Bencolem on Thursday 22 December 12:45

Robertb

3,881 posts

268 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
foxhounduk said:
I'm still waving the flag for diesel.
Torque and economy.
What's wrong with that?
I had a 335d about 10 years ago, lovely machine. I'd def' give this Alpina a go.
Indeed. I have a CLS 350d as my daily, the big diesel goes about its business in a quiet muscular way that makes it feel effortless and refined. It averages around 36mpg in the real world, and an easy range in excess of 530 miles which is not bad considering the performance and size.

The vilification of the diesel powerplant is not justified by the tailpipe emissions of the latest ones.

Leon R

3,905 posts

126 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
The more I see that front end the less it bothers me.

Wonderman

3,050 posts

225 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
£16k of extras but no indication of what they are. Always had a soft spot for Alpina, I like the idea of balance of waftyness without the wallow on our increasingly deteriorating roads, not sure I'd be brave enough to drop £80k on a diesel though.

Water Fairy

6,619 posts

185 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
Robertb said:
foxhounduk said:
I'm still waving the flag for diesel.
Torque and economy.
What's wrong with that?
I had a 335d about 10 years ago, lovely machine. I'd def' give this Alpina a go.
Indeed. I have a CLS 350d as my daily, the big diesel goes about its business in a quiet muscular way that makes it feel effortless and refined. It averages around 36mpg in the real world, and an easy range in excess of 530 miles which is not bad considering the performance and size.

The vilification of the diesel powerplant is not justified by the tailpipe emissions of the latest ones.
Agreed. Our X3 35d is everything we need it to be. Others cars are available to fill other briefs if desired.

aestivator

265 posts

60 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
Get a paragraph in, think 'sheesh, this is heavy going', scroll to top, see who the author is, scroll through pictures.


jimmytheone

2,015 posts

248 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
Did someone say 2000kgs?!

TyrannosauRoss Lex

36,729 posts

242 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
foxhounduk said:
I'm still waving the flag for diesel.
Torque and economy.
What's wrong with that?
I had a 335d about 10 years ago, lovely machine. I'd def' give this Alpina a go.
If economy is the only thing that matters to you, then that's fine.

The fact that, by gearing, they're no more "torquey" than an equivalent turbocharged petrol. It isn't torque that propels you, it's bhp. For example if a car makes 500lb ft at 1500rpm yet revs to 5000rpm, another car makes 500lb ft at 2000rpm but revs to 7000rpm, and if both cars are geared to the same road speed (eg 3rd goes to 100mph) then at any road speed and gear the engine that revs to 7k will be marginally faster.

Engine noise, smoothness etc are all things not as nice as a good petrol smile

garypotter

2,072 posts

180 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
love my 635 and as mentioned can get 600 miles a tank if driven sensible, huge power and torque which suits my daily commute

Great car the Alpina apart from the front end cannot get used to it!! and the price wow!!!! £82k for a 4 series...

1Rb

350 posts

185 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
Wonderman said:
£16k of extras but no indication of what they are. Always had a soft spot for Alpina, I like the idea of balance of waftyness without the wallow on our increasingly deteriorating roads, not sure I'd be brave enough to drop £80k on a diesel though.
Euro6 diesel will be outlawed in most town/city precincts pretty soon...

ahenners

621 posts

156 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
1Rb said:
Euro6 diesel will be outlawed in most town/city precincts pretty soon...
Source?

Roger Irrelevant

3,391 posts

143 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
foxhounduk said:
I'm still waving the flag for diesel.
Torque and economy.
What's wrong with that?
I had a 335d about 10 years ago, lovely machine. I'd def' give this Alpina a go.
The thing is, outside of ULEZ zones and the PH forums diesels make as much sense as they ever did if you're doing big miles and/or driving something of a decent size and/or towing regularly, and so the apparent 'vilification' of diesel that you hear about on here just doesn't happen in vast swathes of the country. Quite a few people have woken up to the fact that petrol is actually a better choice for them and so there's been a big change in new car buying habits, but they're not 'anti-diesel' as such. Ever since dieselgate blew up in 2016 I've been assured that the value of used diesels is going to collapse any minute as a raft of swingeing anti-diesel legislation is bought in. Still hasn't happened and tbh I doubt it will as there's not the same supply coming through any more.

I really fancy a BMW 6cyl diesel for my next car; an X3 40d is top of the wish list but in reality a 30d makes more sense.

the_hood

777 posts

224 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
C.MW said:
No amount of Alpina magic can fix the look of this car as long as it leaves the factory with that massive fugly grille.
The grille, for me, isn't an issue anymore.

Augustus Windsock

3,799 posts

185 months

Thursday 22nd December 2022
quotequote all
The Alpina estate that was recently reviewed is so much better looking and better resolved than this
If I want more space than the saloon equivalent, I’d get the estate or the X3 version, this for me is answering a question that nobody really asks (I’m going on my experience of hardly seeing any GCs on the road compared to estates or X3s)
Can’t abide the front and again, looks worse than the recently reviewed B3 estate imho
The D3 estate would be the perfect car for us (the D5 if I was feeling really flush..which I’m not), but this just wouldn’t ever appear on my ‘want’ list.
Sorry….