Little help please?

[m1spw]

I´ve been given an ultimatem and want your response, but heres a bit of background first. I chose my AS levels about 8 months ago, and I had several big fights with my mum about doing DT (design and technology). I´m really good at it but my mum thought that it would ruin my chances at Uni. 1 month later, me and my teacher persuaded my mum to let me do DT for one of my AS levels.

Fast forward to about a week ago, and my dad (divorced parents, he´s had no input into my education and didn´t think I should go to a private school)tells me he doesn´t want me to do DT. Even though I´m very good at it, I enjoy it and my teachers want me to do it, he told me this:

Change your DT choice to something else, or you don´t get the bike (he´s just bought my a 50cc bike for my 16th + all the kit and insurance etc). So what do I do, stand by what I want to do, or get a motorbike which will give me some freedom? Help, please?

[2 Smokin Barrels]

If he's bought it already the chances are you'll get it anyway.

I'd talk it through with him, and explain why you really want to do DT.

[planetdave]

Maybe it is time to make a stand and show that you are growing up and to be taken seriously.

[PatHeald]

m1spw said:

Change your DT choice to something else, or you don´t get the bike (he´s just bought my a 50cc bike for my 16th + all the kit and insurance etc)

Tell him, in the nicest possible way, to keep the bike.

Don't fall out with him, but I have to say that his methods seem a little unconventional.

[cyberface]

Depends what you want to do at Uni shurely? I have a mate who lectures at uni in industrial design, presumably there's some link there.

And as to the importance of industrial design, check out Apple, Bang & Olufsen, Sony, etc.

[iaint]

Tough situation but your dad's methods - basically blackmail - really suck.

As Pat said, tell him to keep the bike, get a part-time job and buy yourself one.

[Killer2005]

Do the subject you want to do. He'll probably get you the "bike" anyway

[tvrbob]

Your dad probably thinks DT is like metalwork and woodwork was in his day. It's time to educate him; DT is a very useful foundation for design engineering, draftsmanship and architectural studies. All of which are very respectable skills.

Oh and as planetdave says. Time to be an adult, it's not his life it's yours. Do what you want. If he doesn't back down and give you the bike anyway then it will be he who is acting like a child. (taking his ball home because you didn't bow to his wishes)

>> Edited by tvrbob on Thursday 18th August 21:41

[pesty]

don't be blackmailed into doing something you don't want to do. If you have a tallent for DT then do it.

[nevpugh308]

The thing is, you're talking about your future here ... if you are good at DT, and you enjoy doing it, then odds on in one form or another it will probably have a major influence on your career, possibly for the rest of your life.

And take it from anyone over the age of about 35 on this forum, there's few things more important than spending 40 hours a week at work doing something you enjoy, as opposed to something you hate.

So if it were me ? I'd be thinking about the long term and your qualifications and where you want to go with your life ... not just some bike, here and now.


Out of interest, what are the reasons they give for you not doing DT ? Is there something "bad" that I'm missing about design and technology ?

[a2z]

My missus teaches DT (head of dept. - food tech) in a technology college and is always being approached by students who want to do it (for a level say) but are being disuaded by the head of sixth form (despite it being one of the top subjects in the school).

At the end of the day you could do what you enjoy and probably get a good grade at it or do what you THINK you ought to do, hate it and struggle to get a pass. Do what you want to do and enjoy it. DT teaches very good practical/analytical/academic skills just as well as the mainstream subjects and will give you a broad platform to base any future career choices from. Get good grades in what you enjoy, get a job you enjoy and then the good things will come in time.

[_VTEC_]

I went through exactly the same thing when selecting my A levels. I wanted to do English instead of Maths A level for various reasons. My Mum pressurized me into doing Maths instead even though I absolutely hated it.

Net result: I failed maths when I could have had A level English to my name now.

Let me tell you this now, it is absolutely imperative that you do what YOU want to do for your A levels. I cannot stress this enough. An A/B grade in DT is immesureably superior to a C/D grade in some other more respected subject.

You getting good grades now is so much more important than getting a bike. Try to convince your father of this.

[ellingtj]

AS levels? Don't waste your time unless they automatically lead into A-levels - or is this how it works these days?? Do A-levels (though they are getting easy - I thought this when I did mine back in '96 so I hate to think what they're like today), do DT as it is a good subject and do Maths or maths with mechanics if offered as if you wish to go onto mechanical engineering or product design it maybe useful. Think about your long term future and not some short term material object you'll probably learn to drive in a year and lose interest in the bike.

[oddman]

iaint said:

Tough situation but your dad's methods - basically blackmail - really suck

And with a motorbike?????

I wonder what your mum thinks about motorbikes

Maybe you should switch to psychology and then you'll be able to work your parents out.

Seriously though I can't believe how I'd have felt if I'd have been offered something as exciting and valuable at your age. If you stick to your guns you can call yourself a man and we'll respect you even if you haven't got something noisy and fast.

[simpo two]

Take the DT. Your father is giving you an unreasonable and needless choice. What does a motorbike have to do with whether or not you take DT? Nothing. If he cared, he would give you the bike anyway, not hold it as a threat. Perhaps he sees the DT as representing your mother, ergo he must offer an alternative.

It's *your* life and career at stake, not his. Follow your heart. You can always buy your own bike later

[cyberface]

Mate, it's a 50cc bike. Shelf life == until you're allowed to ride something faster i.e. a year or two.

If he was offering you a Ducati, a private race track to hone your skills and then a works superbikes ride, maybe. But your 50cc will be of use for max 2 years, whereas your education decisions will be relevant for *much* longer.

Alternatively, you could just scam them all, claim you've chosen maths or whatever, and then do D&T anyway

[cortinaman]

tell him to keep the bike,its your life,your choices and he cant live it for you.....nor can your mum.

dont throw your chances away for a hairdryer....seriously,it aint worth it.

[stackmonkey]

_VTEC_ said:

I went through exactly the same thing when selecting my A levels. I wanted to do English instead of Maths A level for various reasons. My Mum pressurized me into doing Maths instead even though I absolutely hated it. Net result: I failed maths when I could have had A level English to my name now. Let me tell you this now, it is absolutely imperative that you do what YOU want to do for your A levels. I cannot stress this enough. An A/B grade in DT is immesureably superior to a C/D grade in some other more respected subject. You getting good grades now is so much more important than getting a bike. Try to convince your father of this.

I had a similar situation with my parents about uni courses, still wish i'd held my ground, 18 years on..

[dougc]

I ended up not choosing DT (or 1997 equivalent thereof) for my A levels and regret it still. The staff in the department were great and I really enjoyed the subject but managed to convince myself stupidly that it wasn't academic enough and wouldn't be taken seriously when applying for university. Big mistake. I ended up taking a subject I didn't really enjoy instead and making a pigs ear of it.

If you enjoy it, go for it. Put it this way - I spent 2 years studying Maths instead of re-building a bike engine and putting it in a home made go-kart which one of the other chaps who took the subject did.

Which would you rather do?

Good luck

Edit: Plus someone just drove past my house on one of those little 50cc things and the noise is really bloody annoying

>> Edited by dougc on Friday 19th August 00:03

[liszt]

Really, listen. Do what you want to do.

My dad advised my brother and I that computers were a dead duck with no future. My brother has a degree in electronic engineering and I have one in manufacturing engineering and we both work in IT earing more than our dad.


Make a stand and say, "I am adult enough to understand my career path. DT is an acceptab;le skill."