Children at a wedding
Discussion
We're planning on getting married next year and are in the process of coming up with a guest list.
We're lucky to have enough space to have it at home so thinking marquee, some straightforward but good food, plenty of wine, couple of kegs of beer and bring in a couple of bands to play. There's space to camp for the weekend for those who fancy it too.
We both come from quite big families who we're quite close too and are still involved with quite a big friend group from uni so the numbers are already starting to get out of hand.
I was therefore slightly shocked to see that there was 40+ kids on the list - I don't mind feeding them but I'm not actually sure I want that many kids running around! One or two of them i'm quite close to and would like there but 40+ seems ridiculous!
Any thoughts? Would you want to take your own kids to a wedding or be happier with a grown ups only night? We're planning a chilled hungover bbq the following day which they're obviously all welcome to but not sure about the main party.
We're lucky to have enough space to have it at home so thinking marquee, some straightforward but good food, plenty of wine, couple of kegs of beer and bring in a couple of bands to play. There's space to camp for the weekend for those who fancy it too.
We both come from quite big families who we're quite close too and are still involved with quite a big friend group from uni so the numbers are already starting to get out of hand.
I was therefore slightly shocked to see that there was 40+ kids on the list - I don't mind feeding them but I'm not actually sure I want that many kids running around! One or two of them i'm quite close to and would like there but 40+ seems ridiculous!
Any thoughts? Would you want to take your own kids to a wedding or be happier with a grown ups only night? We're planning a chilled hungover bbq the following day which they're obviously all welcome to but not sure about the main party.
The main thing to remember is that it is your wedding and your day….do whatever suits you.
We were in our early 20’s and said no kids. If I was getting married now (age 49) I would probably have loads of kids there.
Many people would enjoy the day off without their kids…others would maybe struggle to get them looked after.
We were in our early 20’s and said no kids. If I was getting married now (age 49) I would probably have loads of kids there.
Many people would enjoy the day off without their kids…others would maybe struggle to get them looked after.
It's always a prickly issue with some people. Personally I prefer a wedding without children, I have two children myself and am married
I know some people can be offended if their children aren't invited to weddings however and some people can very much take it as a personal insult.
I think in the end its your wedding and do it in.a way which makes you and your future spouse happy.
I know some people can be offended if their children aren't invited to weddings however and some people can very much take it as a personal insult.
I think in the end its your wedding and do it in.a way which makes you and your future spouse happy.
It likely depends on the age of the attendees, if most are in their twenties or early thirties then it may be possible but if the majority are in their late thirties onwards then not being able to bring the kids means child care so additional outlay on their behalf.
Perhaps no kids after 8pm as a comprise?
Went to a wedding last summer and most the children were well behaved but there was a couple of children messing around even during the ceremony, took a lot of tutting and shaking heads before the parents got the message and made them behave.
Perhaps no kids after 8pm as a comprise?
Went to a wedding last summer and most the children were well behaved but there was a couple of children messing around even during the ceremony, took a lot of tutting and shaking heads before the parents got the message and made them behave.
There's a few ways to cut it.
No kids, or only those involved in the immediate wedding party. Give people plenty of notice and it's upto them to arrange childcare (obviously easier if you're having a wedding close to home). But you might lose a few people from the day or people need to leave early.
Make arrangements for the kids. 40 kids is probably too many, but dozen kids could be managed by a few child minders in a quieter part of the wedding location. TV, toilet, few toys, parents welcome to come and go throughout day.
Free for all. Any formal meal will be a nightmare. You might have a few of the younger kids screaming in the ceremony. But you'll probably have maximum attendance from people invited.
No kids, or only those involved in the immediate wedding party. Give people plenty of notice and it's upto them to arrange childcare (obviously easier if you're having a wedding close to home). But you might lose a few people from the day or people need to leave early.
Make arrangements for the kids. 40 kids is probably too many, but dozen kids could be managed by a few child minders in a quieter part of the wedding location. TV, toilet, few toys, parents welcome to come and go throughout day.
Free for all. Any formal meal will be a nightmare. You might have a few of the younger kids screaming in the ceremony. But you'll probably have maximum attendance from people invited.
We did a similar thing a while back, marquee and caterers in the garden and we invited kids. Probably only 100 altogether so a slightly different scale. It was great.
As we it was our space we could choose so I bought in a handful of (disposable) remote control helicopters and a whole bundle of oversize garden games, Jenga and the like, and once the meal was done with left them to it.
It was great to see and the pictures were wonderful of family and friends relaxed and enjoying themselves doing simple things. Dads trying to show how to fly helicopters and failing, some ending up in the pond, those who wanted to play did and those who didn't had the space to stay away.
It really helped that the weather was great, a bit too hot really, and the marquee ended up being a parasol not a shelter.
If you make provision and decide kids will be part of it , it makes a great day.
As we it was our space we could choose so I bought in a handful of (disposable) remote control helicopters and a whole bundle of oversize garden games, Jenga and the like, and once the meal was done with left them to it.
It was great to see and the pictures were wonderful of family and friends relaxed and enjoying themselves doing simple things. Dads trying to show how to fly helicopters and failing, some ending up in the pond, those who wanted to play did and those who didn't had the space to stay away.
It really helped that the weather was great, a bit too hot really, and the marquee ended up being a parasol not a shelter.
If you make provision and decide kids will be part of it , it makes a great day.
Sounds like you’re planning a pretty relaxed affair… rather in-line we had six years ago (barn, food, booze, band, 120 folk all told, about 15 kids). It really comes down to making sure the parents realise the kids are their responsibility, and you’re not providing childcare services. We got a few things for the kids to play with outside, that tired then out, and then they were calm during the meal and danced around in the evening. Depends on the age split, but maybe find an area in your grounds you can set up a projector for movies and popcorn, that should keep most of them occupied.
But remember, they’re not your kids.
But remember, they’re not your kids.
If you don't want kids there then don't have them, but be prepared for some of your guests to decline their invitation if their kids aren't invited also. Seems to be how it works from my experience - "If my Tarquin isn't invited then we aren't going either" is what some parents will say, but not to your face.
The key to this is adequate provision for the kids. We had quite a few at our wedding, including our own, and we sorted them out first. We had professional child minders, and children’s entertainment as well as a proper children’s menu for the meals. It all worked out great, the younger kids went off to bed during the night do, the older kids joined in and were well behaved, the mums and dads had a great time. Win win all round. The concept of banning children is very flawed in my opinion. They are part of our lives and should be celebrated not shunned.
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