Odd Behaviour ?
Discussion
Why do I feel a compelling need to act in an ‘unusual’ way when confronted with certain people? :D
Please tell me I’m not on my own with this.
For example, if I come face to face with a vicar in the street, I suddenly start smiling and making out that I’m the happiest bloke in the world. Why is this? I did it, again, this morning. I’m not even religious. Why do I never say something like “Fuckin rain again, eh!”. :eek:
Vicars are not the only ones. Why is it that every time I come up behind a learner driver with their instructor, I begin driving like a learner myself. Hands at 10 to 2 and checking my mirror and generally being totally over safe whilst in view of the D.O.T man. :wobble:
I find this really odd but I can’t seem to help myself. Would it be more in keeping with this chav country to pick up a good pace and fly past the learner at 85mph in a 30 zone, flicking the bird with the stereo on full and a joint in my gob?
Is it just me? :scratchchin:
Please tell me I’m not on my own with this.
For example, if I come face to face with a vicar in the street, I suddenly start smiling and making out that I’m the happiest bloke in the world. Why is this? I did it, again, this morning. I’m not even religious. Why do I never say something like “Fuckin rain again, eh!”. :eek:
Vicars are not the only ones. Why is it that every time I come up behind a learner driver with their instructor, I begin driving like a learner myself. Hands at 10 to 2 and checking my mirror and generally being totally over safe whilst in view of the D.O.T man. :wobble:
I find this really odd but I can’t seem to help myself. Would it be more in keeping with this chav country to pick up a good pace and fly past the learner at 85mph in a 30 zone, flicking the bird with the stereo on full and a joint in my gob?
Is it just me? :scratchchin:
ZR1cliff said:
I normaly behave like this when i get followed by Old Bill,i make myself feel guilty
Ah yes, a method certain to ensure every road user acts like he is still on a driving lesson...
The other week, marked police car on the A12 (dual carriageway), doing 65 or so.. He must have been having a great time watching everyone pull in behind him.. I sauntered past at 70 on the nose (took me ages to catch him given the lenght of the queue behind him), and watched half the queue who had sat behind him notice I didn't get nicked, and all follow suit.......
lazyitus said:
Why do I feel a compelling need to act in an ‘unusual’ way when confronted with certain people? 
Please tell me I’m not on my own with this.
For example, if I come face to face with a vicar in the street, I suddenly start smiling and making out that I’m the happiest bloke in the world. Why is this? I did it, again, this morning. I’m not even religious. Why do I never say something like “in rain again, eh!”.
Vicars are not the only ones. Why is it that every time I come up behind a learner driver with their instructor, I begin driving like a learner myself. Hands at 10 to 2 and checking my mirror and generally being totally over safe whilst in view of the D.O.T man.
I find this really odd but I can’t seem to help myself. Would it be more in keeping with this chav country to pick up a good pace and fly past the learner at 85mph in a 30 zone, flicking the bird with the stereo on full and a joint in my gob?
Is it just me?
I always tend to drive deliberately like a nut next to learner drivers, just to irritate the instructor
I also tend to be like that guy off 'the gods must be crazy' who turns into a clumsy buffoon whenever attractive women are around.
I always feel guilty, like I'm a terrorist or drug smuggler, whenever I go through airport security or see police around as well, not a desirable characteristic at the best of times and even worse these days. I guess you get used to the cavity searches eventually...
>> Edited by r988 on Tuesday 23 August 12:13
r988 said:
I always feel guilty, like I'm a terrorist or drug smuggler, whenever I go through airport security or see police around as well, not a desirable characteristic at the best of times and even worse these days. I guess you get used to the cavity searches eventually...
Never feel guilty going through airports and the like, always 'tip me hat' so to speak, to the security crew, lots of big smiles and how you doings.
Got pulled many a time arriving in Perth (Australia), invariably get the cards swabbed and the bags riffled, and always when the cards come back testing positive for cocaine, make a point of saying 'but every bank note in the UK tests positive for cocaine these days'.
As for cavity searches I always ask for the guy with big hands to do it, and make sure they fold my shirts again neatly again when they're finished
I have so little respect for authority these days I just let them get on with it... hopefully you can have a bit of a laugh while they're at it, just always make sure you're untouchable going through airports etc.
best
Ex
r988 said:
I always tend to drive deliberately like a nut next to learner drivers, just to irritate the instructor
And the instructor will be saying 'do you see that t
t there? Do that and I'll batter you with my clipboard' The real arseholes are the ones that do a late overtake to beat you to the lights forcing a heavy brake. It says 'learner' for a reason you tosser
planetdave said:
I always tend to drive deliberately like a nut next to learner drivers, just to irritate the instructor
And the instructor will be saying 'do you see that t
The real arseholes are the ones that do a late overtake to beat you to the lights forcing a heavy brake. It says 'learner' for a reason you tosser
err I meant more the one handed driving (instructors seem to hate that) and gearing down (with double clutch and throttle blips of course) heavily (they always like braking not gearing) at the lights. I dont mean nutter stuff like cutting them up, thats asking for an accident.
theexcession said:
I always feel guilty, like I'm a terrorist or drug smuggler, whenever I go through airport security or see police around as well, not a desirable characteristic at the best of times and even worse these days. I guess you get used to the cavity searches eventually...
Never feel guilty going through airports and the like, always 'tip me hat' so to speak, to the security crew, lots of big smiles and how you doings.
Got pulled many a time arriving in Perth (Australia), invariably get the cards swabbed and the bags riffled, and always when the cards come back testing positive for cocaine, make a point of saying 'but every bank note in the UK tests positive for cocaine these days'.
As for cavity searches I always ask for the guy with big hands to do it, and make sure they fold my shirts again neatly again when they're finished
I have so little respect for authority these days I just let them get on with it... hopefully you can have a bit of a laugh while they're at it, just always make sure you're untouchable going through airports etc.
best
Ex
For some reason security people have their sense of humour removed, such as when one asked if I had any drugs and I said 'yes how much were you after?' or any weapons, 'oh just these kalishnikov nail clippers...'
jasandjules said:
I normaly behave like this when i get followed by Old Bill,i make myself feel guilty
Ah yes, a method certain to ensure every road user acts like he is still on a driving lesson...
The other week, marked police car on the A12 (dual carriageway), doing 65 or so.. He must have been having a great time watching everyone pull in behind him.. I sauntered past at 70 on the nose (took me ages to catch him given the lenght of the queue behind him), and watched half the queue who had sat behind him notice I didn't get nicked, and all follow suit.......
Had one of those coming back from Goodwood last night. 40mph dual carriageway, there was a traffic volvo going about its business in the inside lane. Got to the NSL signs and put my foot down to 70 and left them all queuing behind the traffic car. Kept an eye on my mirrors then went and cruised at a sensible speed.
r988 said:
r988 said:
I always tend to drive deliberately like a nut next to learner drivers, just to irritate the instructor
And the instructor will be saying 'do you see that t
The real arseholes are the ones that do a late overtake to beat you to the lights forcing a heavy brake. It says 'learner' for a reason you tosser
err I meant more the one handed driving (instructors seem to hate that) and gearing down (with double clutch and throttle blips of course) heavily (they always like braking not gearing) at the lights. I dont mean nutter stuff like cutting them up, thats asking for an accident.
Of course instuctors hate one handed driving/other bad habits. If you spent all day trying to keep someone @ 30 and two hands on the wheel when all and sundry around you (you must have passed your test - you're driving
) set a bad example then you'd understand. I got so fed up with telling people the same thing over and over and over and over that I started using code eg if I touched a certain screw on the dash that meant '30 please'. Oh - and I used
......not having a go mate 
r988 said:
For some reason security people have their sense of humour removed, such as when one asked if I had any drugs and I said 'yes how much were you after?' or any weapons, 'oh just these kalishnikov nail clippers...'
Like the girl behind the check-in desk at Gatwick a few years back:
Her: Could anyone have tampered with your bags or had access to them without your knowledge?
Me:
Er... if they did it without my knowledge, how would I know about it or whether it was possible?! She wasn't impressed, have me a stern look (that only a woman can give to a man!) before I replied "No", very meekly (she was rather scary...)
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