Mid-Life Crisis - What Does Yours Look Like?
Mid-Life Crisis - What Does Yours Look Like?
Author
Discussion

beagrizzly

Original Poster:

11,176 posts

255 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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Well, 'crisis' is a bit over-dramatic, for my case at least, but I'm certainly suffering to a degree, and I am wondering what others have experienced or are experiencing.

For me, no desire for sports cars, motorbikes or mistresses, but I have, all of a sudden, developed a massive sense of nostalgia and longing for my childhood/youth, the places, the people, the choices I made, the opportunities I failed to take, it's all in there. The slightest thing will set off quite a wave of emotion. It defies all logic, because I'm in a pretty good place in life.

Short of counselling, I'm not sure what action could or should be taken. My current plan is to wait for it to pass.

PS not a cry for help, it isn't nearly serious enough. Though I'd be glad to hear about anyone else's experiences and/or advice, natch.

CopperBolt

951 posts

91 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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I started with MX5 now got SLK.

Hear what you're saying re the nostalgia stuff as well.

beagrizzly

Original Poster:

11,176 posts

255 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
quotequote all
CopperBolt said:
I started with MX5 now got SLK.
thumbup What's next?

I quite fancy a Mustang GT, though the feeling is not (yet) strong enough to get me to put my hand in my pocket.

RizzoTheRat

28,236 posts

216 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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beagrizzly said:
I quite fancy a Mustang GT, though the feeling is not (yet) strong enough to get me to put my hand in my pocket.
One of my colleagues turned 50 last year and has a Mach 1 arriving in the next couple of weeks.

I turned 50 in January am thinking about buying a Volvo rofl

Pitre

5,833 posts

258 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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I always had it in my mind that I should've reached a certain level in the corporate hierarchy by the time I was forty. Sadly missed by about a year so I bought a Corvette beer .

Then I changed my life aims to retire as soon as I could and bailed out at 52. Had another career renovating and providing holiday lets in France for a few years and now I've properly retired. Don't regret anything.

Jonmx

2,870 posts

237 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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I'm 40, have an MX5 and my girlfriend is in her twenties. I've also stopped wearing a tie. I'm no Lester Burnham, but I certainly feel I've reached 'that stage' of life.

Gary29

4,970 posts

123 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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I'm very early 40's now, and get how you feel about the nostalgia, I get it bad.

My childhood and early years were so joyous and perfect that it feels like I'll NEVER feel that sense of joy again. Listening to 80/90's music, watching old films etc or any memory that takes me back very nearly reduces me to tears.

I know there is a lot of rose tinted specs going on, but it's a gut wrenching feeling every time I stop and think back, or something triggers an unexpected memory.

I don't know what the answer is!

john_1983

1,538 posts

172 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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I bought this. Cashed in pretty much all my savings for it, but sod it life's too short.

I identify with the nostalgia for youth thing as well - we moved away from where I grew up at 15, and we only lived there for my dad's job so no family ties or anything to take me back; but I have a real yearning at the moment to take a few days off and head there for a walk about. I have a bizarre desire to walk around my old school and see what memories it provokes, but I'm fully aware I'd be locked up for looking like a nonce if I tried that.

Edit - in reference to the post above, I get that also, the 'things will never be as good again' thing. I had a great upbringing, small and close family and loved my time at uni. Nothing since has ever been quite as joyous, and I don't think I fully appreciated that at the time. Life seemed to be laid out in front of me, and now when I think 'I'll get that trip sorted next year' or whatever it is, 4 years seem to fly by

Edited by john_1983 on Wednesday 26th April 11:09


Edited by john_1983 on Wednesday 26th April 11:12


Edited by john_1983 on Wednesday 26th April 11:13

Fozziebear

1,840 posts

164 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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What is the age for midlife now? I'm 52 in September and still feel in my 30's, so do I have another 20-30 years before I should find a mistress and convertible?

Jinx

11,933 posts

284 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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Joined a pub band and spend weekends playing "dad" rock in the local hostelries..... :

Roofless Toothless

7,176 posts

156 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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When I was approaching 50 I looked at a notice board outside a church and saw I would soon be old enough to visit their Drop In centre for the elderly for an afternoon tea.

I went home and ordered myself my first Caterham kit.


Om

2,149 posts

102 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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Not really a crisis (or at least not from where I am standing. Others may disagree).

The nostalgia thing kicked in quite hard - mid 50s - at about the same time as the sports cars tbh. It isn't a crisis though! If I get a 3rd sports car it may well be. I'll need a bigger garage...

Om

2,149 posts

102 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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Just a quick point to note - nostalgia doesn't have to be/isn't necesarrily a bad thing. As long as you don't dwell too much on the past, come to regret a loss or decisions made.

Rather, use it as an impetus for doing positive things now or in the future - joining a band, buying a 'toy', trying out new/old hobbies, travelling etc, then it can be constructive/beneficial.

This is how I justify my cars.

beagrizzly

Original Poster:

11,176 posts

255 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
quotequote all
Gary29 said:
I'm very early 40's now, and get how you feel about the nostalgia, I get it bad.

My childhood and early years were so joyous and perfect that it feels like I'll NEVER feel that sense of joy again. Listening to 80/90's music, watching old films etc or any memory that takes me back very nearly reduces me to tears.

I know there is a lot of rose tinted specs going on, but it's a gut wrenching feeling every time I stop and think back, or something triggers an unexpected memory.

I don't know what the answer is!
We are aligned.

Quickmoose

5,209 posts

147 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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I've never given much notice of the term.

"Mid life" is young/flexible enough to enjoy the things you're doing, whilst old enough to hopefully be able to afford that stuff... it's not a 'crisis', its an opportunity.
I've been working for 30yrs
on a knife edge for most of them
been through some crucifying relationships
But now met a woman, who is mortgage free.
Sold my gaff, moved in with her, and bought the most special relevant car to my needs/dreams
opportunity.

if it all goes t1ts up, I can sell up and re-start smile

austinsmirk

5,597 posts

147 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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Don’t think at 51 I’m having one. Earn enough, have money, property, even a wife who is 8 years younger and turns heads everywhere I go, if we’re showing off in a ph masculine way. No yr not having a picture of her sat in a bath of custard.

Only stupid thing I did at Xmas was buy the Lego home alone set. Thought great fun with the kids. And in the scale model thread everyone seems to be building all these “adult “ sets.

Guess what ? Building Lego when you’re not ten is really dull. Quite a cool set for Xmas but I feel very sorry for people filing their houses with Star Wars Lego mask collections and other such nonsense

Sadly I now to seem have more focus on my pension than perhaps I did.

Tango13

9,886 posts

200 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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I'd need to grow up and be an adult for a few years before having a mid life crisis and there's not much chance of that ever happening hehe

cobra kid

5,509 posts

264 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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Thinking of taking up BMXing at the age of almost 49.

Mr MXT

7,774 posts

307 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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Jonmx said:
I'm 40, have an MX5 and my girlfriend is in her twenties. I've also stopped wearing a tie. I'm no Lester Burnham, but I certainly feel I've reached 'that stage' of life.
CASHBACK!

PositronicRay

28,677 posts

207 months

Wednesday 26th April 2023
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beagrizzly said:
. My current plan is to wait for it to pass.
A strategy I've lived by for many yrs.


ETA, I did the oddball car thing, but just because I could, 1st time I had both time and the money.

Also caught up with some old friends, mixed results that one.

Edited by PositronicRay on Wednesday 26th April 12:35