Birthday Gifts for Adult Offspring
Discussion
What's the expected deal here?
Daughter is 22, just left Uni. We've told her she needs to now sort out a job for ongoing expenses and that went down like a sh*t sandwich. Adult now after all.
Bought a nice watch for her 21st last year, 22nd is coming up. What do we do, Nadda? Small gift? something else?
Daughter is 22, just left Uni. We've told her she needs to now sort out a job for ongoing expenses and that went down like a sh*t sandwich. Adult now after all.
Bought a nice watch for her 21st last year, 22nd is coming up. What do we do, Nadda? Small gift? something else?
k herself.......I have got a birthday present every year from my parents and I'm in my forties. Same as I buy them presents.
They're not super-expensive presents but, to use a cliche, it's the thought.
Milestone birthdays have more effort and expense.
Important bit she needs to learn is the reciprocation. I gave up buying my sister presents when I got sod all back, not even a card. You don't make an effort > I don't make an effort.
They're not super-expensive presents but, to use a cliche, it's the thought.
Milestone birthdays have more effort and expense.
Important bit she needs to learn is the reciprocation. I gave up buying my sister presents when I got sod all back, not even a card. You don't make an effort > I don't make an effort.
She’s a young woman, but your daughter, it’s very difficult to buy for that age. Why not just give her £X and say go treat yourself to some clothes shopping. It’s better than trying to find something which she’ll of course say is wonderful but perhaps not what she would buy. Make a day of it, say you will meet her at an agreed place for lunch or dinner after?
Muzzer79 said:
I have got a birthday present every year from my parents and I'm in my forties. Same as I buy them presents.
They're not super-expensive presents but, to use a cliche, it's the thought.
Milestone birthdays have more effort and expense.
Important bit she needs to learn is the reciprocation. I gave up buying my sister presents when I got sod all back, not even a card. You don't make an effort > I don't make an effort.
My sisters birthday is a month before mine so I would give her a card and she used give me back the exact same card with names crossed out and rewritten which I would sometimes save to resend for Christmas They're not super-expensive presents but, to use a cliche, it's the thought.
Milestone birthdays have more effort and expense.
Important bit she needs to learn is the reciprocation. I gave up buying my sister presents when I got sod all back, not even a card. You don't make an effort > I don't make an effort.
One year I just gave her a piece of plain cardboard for her birthday, her friend asked her why she had a bit of cardboard on her matlepiece?
It's my birthday card from my brother...
2 daughters here; 24 and 30, we still buy them presents for birthday and Christmas, 24 year old (similar age to your daughter OP) likes spa days, trainers, clothes that sort of thing, so maybe a voucher for either if you aren't sure?
As for you suggesting to her to get out to look for a job and it not going down well, both of mine couldn't wait to work as soon as they were old enough they were working as students and both were straight into full time employment with zero encouragement from myself or the wife.
As for you suggesting to her to get out to look for a job and it not going down well, both of mine couldn't wait to work as soon as they were old enough they were working as students and both were straight into full time employment with zero encouragement from myself or the wife.
sociopath said:
RC1807 said:
Our daughter turned 22 earlier this year, and has just finished her finals at Uni in the last few weeks.
We didn't go mad for her birthday gift, maybe €100-150 in value.
Can I be your daughter?We didn't go mad for her birthday gift, maybe €100-150 in value.
Didn't go mad, just £100-150?
What the heck would going mad be?
sociopath said:
RC1807 said:
Our daughter turned 22 earlier this year, and has just finished her finals at Uni in the last few weeks.
We didn't go mad for her birthday gift, maybe €100-150 in value.
Can I be your daughter?We didn't go mad for her birthday gift, maybe €100-150 in value.
Didn't go mad, just £100-150?
What the heck would going mad be?
HTP99 said:
2 daughters here; 24 and 30, we still buy them presents for birthday and Christmas, 24 year old (similar age to your daughter OP) likes spa days, trainers, clothes that sort of thing, so maybe a voucher for either if you aren't sure?
As for you suggesting to her to get out to look for a job and it not going down well, both of mine couldn't wait to work as soon as they were old enough they were working as students and both were straight into full time employment with zero encouragement from myself or the wife.
Sigh, sadly not the case. My problem is I'm trying to keep the taps turned off so the penny will drop.As for you suggesting to her to get out to look for a job and it not going down well, both of mine couldn't wait to work as soon as they were old enough they were working as students and both were straight into full time employment with zero encouragement from myself or the wife.
For a 22 yr old.. spoken as a 20 year old
New trainers, white Nike Air Force 1’s are a staple of the teenager and 20 something, regardless of gender.
Some nice perfume - Tom Ford Black Orchid ? Or Miss Dior, YSL Black Opium. Chanel No.5 if you are boring. Carolina Herrera Good Girl is another popular one with girls my age?
Sephora/Zara/H&M gift card. Probably around £75-100 worth so they can go mental at one of the fast fashion shops without violating your wallet, if you are doing it as the sole present, otherwise £30-40 is enough to get 1 or 2 things.
Spa day.
Concert tickets to her favourite band.
Any hobbies? Something meaningful towards her hobby.
Don’t forget a card and flowers to go with it all. Girls that age like memories and nostalgia, so why not put in 22 pictures from every year of her growing up, if you haven’t already done that for her 18th or 21st.
If you really want to make their day.. I would go and get options 1,2,3 and the card/flowers.
After all after this year they’re on their own financially so won’t be particularly bothered if they don’t get money spent on them if they are earning a decent salary for someone in their early 20s.
New trainers, white Nike Air Force 1’s are a staple of the teenager and 20 something, regardless of gender.
Some nice perfume - Tom Ford Black Orchid ? Or Miss Dior, YSL Black Opium. Chanel No.5 if you are boring. Carolina Herrera Good Girl is another popular one with girls my age?
Sephora/Zara/H&M gift card. Probably around £75-100 worth so they can go mental at one of the fast fashion shops without violating your wallet, if you are doing it as the sole present, otherwise £30-40 is enough to get 1 or 2 things.
Spa day.
Concert tickets to her favourite band.
Any hobbies? Something meaningful towards her hobby.
Don’t forget a card and flowers to go with it all. Girls that age like memories and nostalgia, so why not put in 22 pictures from every year of her growing up, if you haven’t already done that for her 18th or 21st.
If you really want to make their day.. I would go and get options 1,2,3 and the card/flowers.
After all after this year they’re on their own financially so won’t be particularly bothered if they don’t get money spent on them if they are earning a decent salary for someone in their early 20s.
Edited by V 02 on Thursday 25th May 20:07
I was very generous to my son -up to about 700 quids worth every birthday until 22..... at 21 he'd finished uni got a job and had his own money so in my head was truly adult and I moved towards parity with his spend on me.... Needless to say...a choccy orange from the corner shop arrived sans card....after swearing he's get about 2 quids worth I relented and spent about 100...it's on the downward taper now....the slight outrage did register though...a pair of very decent concert tickets....needless to say ones for him so some self interest at play...but at least he's considering and anticipating now.....roll on Christmas for the next reversion to type!
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