help...in small pathetic voice...
Discussion
I got steaming last night by mistake - one of those where you go out for one cheeky babysham and end up standing on top of a police car at 4 AM singing the entire score from Evita whilst showering yourself in Chilli sauce and Kebab meat. Then calling everyone in your phone book, telling them how much you love just befor you drop said phone down a drain because your fingers are too drunk to work.
I am now at work, smelly and hung over. I also come very close to hurling all over my keyboard if I look at my computer screen for longer than 3 minutes at a time - with breaks it's taken me about half an hour to write this.
This would all be more managable if I did not have a meeting with the MD in an hour and if I wasn't having so much trouble seeing straight.
How do I blag the meeting, how do I get through the day without covering thousands of pounds of Packard Bell's finest in bile, and how do I ensure the red head in accounts doesn't notice that I smell like an over ripe tramp and have a face like his scrotum.
I am now at work, smelly and hung over. I also come very close to hurling all over my keyboard if I look at my computer screen for longer than 3 minutes at a time - with breaks it's taken me about half an hour to write this.
This would all be more managable if I did not have a meeting with the MD in an hour and if I wasn't having so much trouble seeing straight.
How do I blag the meeting, how do I get through the day without covering thousands of pounds of Packard Bell's finest in bile, and how do I ensure the red head in accounts doesn't notice that I smell like an over ripe tramp and have a face like his scrotum.
Collapse spectacularly and theatrically in the middle of the office, close your eyes and have a little lie down whilst people fuss around you.
If you're worried about people smelling booze, tip coffee all over yourself as you fall.
If someone calls an ambulance, all the better. You can blag it with them. The result will be you'll be sent home with everyone's sympathy, and you'll get the next few days off work.
Sorted. Good luck!
If you're worried about people smelling booze, tip coffee all over yourself as you fall.
If someone calls an ambulance, all the better. You can blag it with them. The result will be you'll be sent home with everyone's sympathy, and you'll get the next few days off work.
Sorted. Good luck!
Can you dash out & get a bacon butty from somewhere? Even better, a bloody mary & a bacon butty....
Drink some Red Bull, or Jolt Cola?
Theres a lot to be said for a tactical chunder, but with only an hour to go, you've probably left it too late to do any good.
As for stinking like a brewery - aftershave & extra-strong mints - hopefully you can work out which to take internally
What is your meeting about? Is the MD a good bloke?
Drink some Red Bull, or Jolt Cola?
Theres a lot to be said for a tactical chunder, but with only an hour to go, you've probably left it too late to do any good.
As for stinking like a brewery - aftershave & extra-strong mints - hopefully you can work out which to take internally
What is your meeting about? Is the MD a good bloke?
Put on several jumpers, a coat, a hat and a woolly scarf, then say – in a pained, coraky voice – you're coming down with a nasty bug or the flu. That way, no-one will get near enough to know you smell of booze, and your inattentive attendance of the meeting will show your sheer dedication to the job.
Or you could go to the toilet and puke instead. You'll feel much better.
Or you could go to the toilet and puke instead. You'll feel much better.
mungo said: Find a private room and do star jumps/jog on the spot until you start breathing heavily.
The harder you breathe the quicker the alcohol leaves your system - The blood vessels on the alveoli of your lungs is closer to the surface and alcohol leaves the system through these you see.
And it'll make you throw up quicker too...
mungo said: Find a private room and do star jumps/jog on the spot until you start breathing heavily.
The harder you breathe the quicker the alcohol leaves your system - The blood vessels on the alveoli of your lungs is closer to the surface and alcohol leaves the system through these you see.
And I though lefty two guns was an alias
M@H said: HeeHee.. I ended up doing a Client meeting in Helsinki in a similar state once.. the worst bit was it was a 9.30 start
Sounds like my meeting last week, 9 am meeting, first drafting of the re-listing particulars for an *ahem* company in restructuring. As the only equity markets expert
around the table, I was meant to be making sensible comments about listing strategy . . . . 
He's still not back yet, mabe his MD gave him 5 mins to get out of the building 
Or he in the boggs throughing his ringer
Poor bugger but he did get him self into a right meas
Nice one, good lad
Bloady dislexic fingers Grrrrrwkopdjf 'pas
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:58
Or he in the boggs throughing his ringer
Poor bugger but he did get him self into a right meas
Nice one, good lad
Bloady dislexic fingers Grrrrrwkopdjf 'pas
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:58
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:58
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:58
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:59
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:59
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 14:00
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 14:00
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 14:01
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:58
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:59
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 13:59
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 14:00
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 14:00
>> Edited by campbell on Thursday 24th October 14:01
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