Football match after work - violent diarrhoea

[americancrx]

I can't get through to my health insurer and NHS Direct won't take a call from an American.

After work today, I'm playing defensive midfielder in a football match. Unfortunately I've eaten something that disagrees with me and am currently wondering why there's no seatbelt on the toilet.

I think my substitute is a terrible player so would like some advice on what to do to remedy this in time for the game.

[nebpor]

Immodium instants - work pretty much immediately.

[danpalmer1993]

Not play?

If you do I hope your shorts aren't white.

[greygoose]

Imodium? Though seems your winning streak is over.

[danpalmer1993]

greygoose said:

Imodium? Though seems your winning streak is over.

That streak may be over but I'm sure there may be another

[djc206]

Take an Imodium, do not be tempted to take several. If you thought explosive diarrhoea was bad you’ll be in a different world of pain when Christmas comes around and you’ve still not laid a pipe.

[SlimJim16v]

Don't go drinking after taking immodium, it increases the effect of alcohol.

[americancrx]

danpalmer1993 said:

Not play?

If you do I hope your shorts aren't white.

They're blue, and I hope they'll stay that color!

[nebpor]

Immodium is fine - two is the recommended dose. I take them a lot because of a digestive problem - I’ve never found they block me up. They wear off fully in about 3 days

[Boobonman]

My advice would be not to take immodium, your body is trying to reject something it doesn't want in it and you're going against that. Get it all out and try and stay hydrated.

[juice]

You are Gary Lineker AICMFP

[Radec]

juice said:

You are Gary Lineker AICMFP

Was going to say, if it's good enough for Gary lol.

[americancrx]

Immodium lasts about 75 minutes on a football field.

Unfortunately, we were still tied 0-0 at 87 minutes. I couldn't come out, wouldn't come out, then was tackled for the ball from behind by the opposing forward and the resulting assplosion ended with him getting a second yellow, and a mandatory substitution on hygiene grounds for me. There were no winners tonight.

[soad]

[Radec]

americancrx said:

Immodium lasts about 75 minutes on a football field.

Unfortunately, we were still tied 0-0 at 87 minutes. I couldn't come out, wouldn't come out, then was tackled for the ball from behind by the opposing forward and the resulting assplosion ended with him getting a second yellow, and a mandatory substitution on hygiene grounds for me. There were no winners tonight.

Sounded like a st tackle lol

[Slowboathome]

Imodium's effects vary widely dependent on the individual.

It has no effect on some people.

But one table will bung me up for 3 days.

[Another project]

americancrx said:

Immodium lasts about 75 minutes on a football field.

Unfortunately, we were still tied 0-0 at 87 minutes. I couldn't come out, wouldn't come out, then was tackled for the ball from behind by the opposing forward and the resulting assplosion ended with him getting a second yellow, and a mandatory substitution on hygiene grounds for me. There were no winners tonight.

As soon as I read this post this is exactly what went through my head
https://youtu.be/-LT3hwMls-o

[Slowboathome]

EmailAddress said:

Not surprised.