Doing big favours for others
Discussion
What big favours have you done for others?
It has struck me on more than one occasion that I seem to often being doing favours for others, but seldom receive any in return, probably because I feel uncomfortable asking for favours from others, so I never ask...
Anyway, a mate has asked if I will drive up to Northumberland to return his friends caravan back to South Yorkshire. His friend has been rushed to hospital whilst holidaying with his wife in their caravan, and he's been given 2 days to live. The wife doesn't feel confident towing it home as she has never towed before, and she has enough on her plate with her husband dying.
So that's over 300 miles driving in a day, and having to take a days holiday from work to help a couple I don't know and have never met. But he's a good friend and the wife is in a terrible predicament, so I dont mind.
It has struck me on more than one occasion that I seem to often being doing favours for others, but seldom receive any in return, probably because I feel uncomfortable asking for favours from others, so I never ask...
Anyway, a mate has asked if I will drive up to Northumberland to return his friends caravan back to South Yorkshire. His friend has been rushed to hospital whilst holidaying with his wife in their caravan, and he's been given 2 days to live. The wife doesn't feel confident towing it home as she has never towed before, and she has enough on her plate with her husband dying.
So that's over 300 miles driving in a day, and having to take a days holiday from work to help a couple I don't know and have never met. But he's a good friend and the wife is in a terrible predicament, so I dont mind.
Edited by The Gauge on Wednesday 16th August 16:56
good topic!
I generally find myself offering to help people and doing favours rather than being asked... though, same as OP I rarely get the 'favours' back.
Helping friends move house, knocking down old buildings (didn't mind this!) driving across country for various reasons etc...all par of the course
I generally find myself offering to help people and doing favours rather than being asked... though, same as OP I rarely get the 'favours' back.
Helping friends move house, knocking down old buildings (didn't mind this!) driving across country for various reasons etc...all par of the course
Biggest financial favour was when I lent a friend £2500 to pay for a stint in rehab for alcohol addiction. (to put it in context, that is a month's wages to me)
I was slightly surprised when they paid it back about six months later. Unfortunately, the rehab didn't work for long and they were back on it a year or so later. But i'm still glad that i did it, as hopefully it was the first step to help them and when the time is right they will try again.
I was slightly surprised when they paid it back about six months later. Unfortunately, the rehab didn't work for long and they were back on it a year or so later. But i'm still glad that i did it, as hopefully it was the first step to help them and when the time is right they will try again.
ikarl said:
good topic!
Helping friends move house...
Yeh, I've helped folk move house, and multiple times for some, however when the time came for me to move house non of these people offered to help. Again, I didn't ask them, but moral standards should surely mean they should have at least offered even though I'd have declined ?Helping friends move house...
Edited by The Gauge on Wednesday 16th August 17:12
If I can, and it doesn't involve extreme inconvenience or large out of pocket expense, I'm absolutely fine doing favours for others and not that fussed about getting things done in return. Sometimes things are just the right thing to do, and it feels good to do a good turn for someone. When the chips are really down maybe all this paying forward will come good?
I was asked the other weekend if I would lend a friend my car for 2 weeks for their caravan holiday as their transport had packed up as they pulled away from their house. Now my car doesn't have a towbar and they wanted to get one fitted for the purposes of this. I politely declined and suggested they rent a van with a towbar instead. Seemed an odd request and a bit of a lend considering they wanted the car for 2 weeks.
I have stepped in and provided financial assistance on a number of occasions - there was a specific thread on here about lending people money and its all on there ... I wouldn't ever do it again though.
I totally echo the no good deed goes unpunished comment above.
I have stepped in and provided financial assistance on a number of occasions - there was a specific thread on here about lending people money and its all on there ... I wouldn't ever do it again though.
I totally echo the no good deed goes unpunished comment above.
As for me doing the towing favour above, a couple of mates I've mentioned it to have told me that they'd have said 'no way' to doing that. That kind of sums up their level of friendship I guess, as it suggests they might not be prepared go the full hogg to help me out if I was in such a predicament? Bit of a wakener that one!
x5tuu said:
I was asked the other weekend if I would lend a friend my car for 2 weeks for their caravan holiday as their transport had packed up as they pulled away from their house. Now my car doesn't have a towbar and they wanted to get one fitted for the purposes of this. I politely declined and suggested they rent a van with a towbar instead. Seemed an odd request and a bit of a lend considering they wanted the car for 2 weeks.
I have stepped in and provided financial assistance on a number of occasions - there was a specific thread on here about lending people money and its all on there ... I wouldn't ever do it again though.
I totally echo the no good deed goes unpunished comment above.
Absolutely now fffffffing way to the above!I have stepped in and provided financial assistance on a number of occasions - there was a specific thread on here about lending people money and its all on there ... I wouldn't ever do it again though.
I totally echo the no good deed goes unpunished comment above.
That has taken my breath away.
From the other side of the situation: I wouldn’t have the absolute brass neck to ask (what I consider) that sort of favour.
I don’t mind helping anyone out, but two weeks, fit tow bar. FRO.
The Gauge said:
What big favours have you done for others?
It has struck me on more than one occasion that I seem to often being doing favours for others, but seldom receive any in return, probably because I feel uncomfortable asking for favours from others, so I never ask...
Anyway, a mate has asked if I will drive up to Northumberland to return his friends caravan back to South Yorkshire. His friend has been rushed to hospital whilst holidaying with his wife in their caravan, and he's been given 2 days to live. The wife doesn't feel confident towing it home as she has never towed before, and she has enough on her plate with her husband dying.
So that's over 300 miles driving in a day, and having to take a days holiday from work to help a couple I don't know and have never met. But he's a good friend and the wife is in a terrible predicament, so I dont mind.
I'm sure there's a good reason. But what excuse did your mate give for not driving his friend's caravan back himself?It has struck me on more than one occasion that I seem to often being doing favours for others, but seldom receive any in return, probably because I feel uncomfortable asking for favours from others, so I never ask...
Anyway, a mate has asked if I will drive up to Northumberland to return his friends caravan back to South Yorkshire. His friend has been rushed to hospital whilst holidaying with his wife in their caravan, and he's been given 2 days to live. The wife doesn't feel confident towing it home as she has never towed before, and she has enough on her plate with her husband dying.
So that's over 300 miles driving in a day, and having to take a days holiday from work to help a couple I don't know and have never met. But he's a good friend and the wife is in a terrible predicament, so I dont mind.
This is precisely what's stopping me buying a new campervan. Everyone will want to borrow it / feel they have dibs on it.
This wouldn't be an issue if they'd look after it, but inevitable it would come back in a worse state than when it left. I know this from experience with my past campervan- the borrower's let their kids use the interior as a playground.
This wouldn't be an issue if they'd look after it, but inevitable it would come back in a worse state than when it left. I know this from experience with my past campervan- the borrower's let their kids use the interior as a playground.
bongo96 said:
This is precisely what's stopping me buying a new campervan. Everyone will want to borrow it / feel they have dibs on it.
This wouldn't be an issue if they'd look after it, but inevitable it would come back in a worse state than when it left. I know this from experience with my past campervan- the borrower's let their kids use the interior as a playground.
My folks were after a van, the reason they didn’t get it was my sister and her kids would have invited themselves along and pestered to borrow itThis wouldn't be an issue if they'd look after it, but inevitable it would come back in a worse state than when it left. I know this from experience with my past campervan- the borrower's let their kids use the interior as a playground.
When my sister borrows stuff she treats it like a rental car when you have the Teflon insurance, stupid cow
trickywoo said:
Unfortunately no good turn goes unpunished.
100% this. I work in IT so people seem to think that I would enjoy fixing their laptop in my own personal time. Back in the day they always wanted a licence key for Windows or Office. Obviously once I have touched it once, it becomes my responsibility for life and anything that goes wrong from that point on is obviously my fault.What annoys me is people think I would enjoy doing it, I suspect if I asked them to clean my car for me or paint my front room in return they would look at me as if I was a lunatic.
Never recommend to anybody that they buy a car or electrical device as when it goes wrong it will all be your fault as you recommended they buy it.
Personally I never get involved unless it is my parents or my brother.
The Gauge said:
What big favours have you done for others?
It has struck me on more than one occasion that I seem to often being doing favours for others, but seldom receive any in return, probably because I feel uncomfortable asking for favours from others, so I never ask...
Anyway, a mate has asked if I will drive up to Northumberland to return his friends caravan back to South Yorkshire. His friend has been rushed to hospital whilst holidaying with his wife in their caravan, and he's been given 2 days to live. The wife doesn't feel confident towing it home as she has never towed before, and she has enough on her plate with her husband dying.
So that's over 300 miles driving in a day, and having to take a days holiday from work to help a couple I don't know and have never met. But he's a good friend and the wife is in a terrible predicament, so I dont mind.
Nice one. That is all.It has struck me on more than one occasion that I seem to often being doing favours for others, but seldom receive any in return, probably because I feel uncomfortable asking for favours from others, so I never ask...
Anyway, a mate has asked if I will drive up to Northumberland to return his friends caravan back to South Yorkshire. His friend has been rushed to hospital whilst holidaying with his wife in their caravan, and he's been given 2 days to live. The wife doesn't feel confident towing it home as she has never towed before, and she has enough on her plate with her husband dying.
So that's over 300 miles driving in a day, and having to take a days holiday from work to help a couple I don't know and have never met. But he's a good friend and the wife is in a terrible predicament, so I dont mind.
Well, also, I think you'll be in your friend's good books for a long while.
Hang on, why didn't he drive the caravan up north?
Joey Deacon said:
100% this. I work in IT so people seem to think that I would enjoy fixing their laptop in my own personal time . Back in the day they always wanted a licence key for Windows or Office. Obviously once I have touched it once, it becomes my responsibility for life and anything that goes wrong from that point on is obviously my fault.
What annoys me is people think I would enjoy doing it, I suspect if I asked them to clean my car for me or paint my front room in return they would look at me as if I was a lunatic.
Never recommend to anybody that they buy a car or electrical device as when it goes wrong it will all be your fault as you recommended they buy it.
Personally I never get involved unless it is my parents or my brother.
Similar to this: Many years ago our then childminder had a problem with her PC. She knew my job involved working on PCs (though not strictly an 'IT' job) and asked me to look at it. Turned out it was just full of viri (viruses??!) and I spent most of the weekend running scans and cleaning it up, finally getting it to work properly. I took it back on the Monday morning when we dropped my son off to her and told her to watch what her kids were using it for...What annoys me is people think I would enjoy doing it, I suspect if I asked them to clean my car for me or paint my front room in return they would look at me as if I was a lunatic.
Never recommend to anybody that they buy a car or electrical device as when it goes wrong it will all be your fault as you recommended they buy it.
Personally I never get involved unless it is my parents or my brother.
Later that week I was 10 minutes late picking my son up (typically I'd be about half hour before the paid time most days). Needless to say she put the extra hour on our bill (as per her T&Cs for a late pickup), but of course not a dickybird for the weekend I spent sorting her PC.
After that I only do any PC work for close family.
Also years ago as per the bold part; I put a new pair of wheel arches on a colleague's Mk2 Cavalier. Cut out the rust, welded repair sections on, filled sanded and painted (metallic gold which was a pain to match/blend). Gave me a token amount for the job on top of the parts/materials and kept trying to get me to do other jobs 'because you love working on cars don't you?!' Worked out my hourly rate must have been about 20p an hour for that job.
Very close friends and family I'll do anything for, but anything beyond that then not a chance.
Back around 80-81, I had a Rover SD1 which I fitted with a towbar for our trailer tent. A workmate asked if I could do him a favour, but it was actually a 'third-party' favour for his mate.
His mate had a boat which needed moving from Wallsend-on-Tyne to Rutland Water and I was asked could I do it for petrol money + a sammich lunch. The wokmate was a good friend, so I said yes.
Turns out the boat was fekkin' enormous (way beyond my towing limit) and the overrun brakes had long since seized solid. After blowing the trailer tyres up, we set forth.
What followed was over 180 miles of weaving all over the A1. The nose weight was all wrong, so every time the 'snake' started, my only way out was to accelerate through it - it became very wearing.
To add insult to injury, the only sammiches left at the Rutland cafe were plain cheese in curly white bread and the boiler had been turned off, so no tea.
His mate had a boat which needed moving from Wallsend-on-Tyne to Rutland Water and I was asked could I do it for petrol money + a sammich lunch. The wokmate was a good friend, so I said yes.
Turns out the boat was fekkin' enormous (way beyond my towing limit) and the overrun brakes had long since seized solid. After blowing the trailer tyres up, we set forth.
What followed was over 180 miles of weaving all over the A1. The nose weight was all wrong, so every time the 'snake' started, my only way out was to accelerate through it - it became very wearing.
To add insult to injury, the only sammiches left at the Rutland cafe were plain cheese in curly white bread and the boiler had been turned off, so no tea.
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