Slow torture: Helping your parents with tech
Discussion
Is there anything more infuriating than helping your parents with technology?
Sometimes I wonder if i’m actually in a Truman Show situation, and it’s all an elaborate experiment to test frustration and ability to deal with stress.
My mother wants me to drive 40 minutes each way, to help her print out some emails on paper, to post to someone.
If you suggest that she just forward the emails she says “I can’t be doing with that, no” and won’t entertain it, despite explaining how much easier both our lives would be.
She also expects this to be done this evening, and will spend the whole time complaining about how slow the printer is, and how bothersome all this technology is.
I’ve tried to help her be more proficient with tech, but I can manage about 15 minutes of calm understanding training, before inevitable frustration takes over and I can’t handle it.
And for those suggestions of not helping her/ enabling her by going over, that would result in a very large ‘woe is me’ guilt trip for months.
Is this just mummy issues wrapped up in technology and parents complaint? Who knows, but what I do know is that if beelzebub wanted to come up with a lifetime torture to inflict misery on the cursed, he’d just need to put them in a room with my mum and an iPad for eternity. Or for 20 minutes
Sometimes I wonder if i’m actually in a Truman Show situation, and it’s all an elaborate experiment to test frustration and ability to deal with stress.
My mother wants me to drive 40 minutes each way, to help her print out some emails on paper, to post to someone.
If you suggest that she just forward the emails she says “I can’t be doing with that, no” and won’t entertain it, despite explaining how much easier both our lives would be.
She also expects this to be done this evening, and will spend the whole time complaining about how slow the printer is, and how bothersome all this technology is.
I’ve tried to help her be more proficient with tech, but I can manage about 15 minutes of calm understanding training, before inevitable frustration takes over and I can’t handle it.
And for those suggestions of not helping her/ enabling her by going over, that would result in a very large ‘woe is me’ guilt trip for months.
Is this just mummy issues wrapped up in technology and parents complaint? Who knows, but what I do know is that if beelzebub wanted to come up with a lifetime torture to inflict misery on the cursed, he’d just need to put them in a room with my mum and an iPad for eternity. Or for 20 minutes
I feel your pain, but can't offer a decent solution - my last tech call from my mother in law was at 6:45am when she was in tears because her wifi had stopped working.
The only thing I could suggest is you make her bring whatever device it is to you, so you can use your printer etc - that way she can do the driving and faffing.
The only thing I could suggest is you make her bring whatever device it is to you, so you can use your printer etc - that way she can do the driving and faffing.
Greshamst said:
Is there anything more infuriating than helping your parents with technology?
Sometimes I wonder if i’m actually in a Truman Show situation, and it’s all an elaborate experiment to test frustration and ability to deal with stress.
My mother wants me to drive 40 minutes each way, to help her print out some emails on paper, to post to someone.
If you suggest that she just forward the emails she says “I can’t be doing with that, no” and won’t entertain it, despite explaining how much easier both our lives would be.
She also expects this to be done this evening, and will spend the whole time complaining about how slow the printer is, and how bothersome all this technology is.
I’ve tried to help her be more proficient with tech, but I can manage about 15 minutes of calm understanding training, before inevitable frustration takes over and I can’t handle it.
And for those suggestions of not helping her/ enabling her by going over, that would result in a very large ‘woe is me’ guilt trip for months.
Is this just mummy issues wrapped up in technology and parents complaint? Who knows, but what I do know is that if beelzebub wanted to come up with a lifetime torture to inflict misery on the cursed, he’d just need to put them in a room with my mum and an iPad for eternity. Or for 20 minutes
Install teamviewer on her PC next time you're there and you can sort most problems from your mobile wherever you are. Job jobbed. That's what I did. Sometimes I wonder if i’m actually in a Truman Show situation, and it’s all an elaborate experiment to test frustration and ability to deal with stress.
My mother wants me to drive 40 minutes each way, to help her print out some emails on paper, to post to someone.
If you suggest that she just forward the emails she says “I can’t be doing with that, no” and won’t entertain it, despite explaining how much easier both our lives would be.
She also expects this to be done this evening, and will spend the whole time complaining about how slow the printer is, and how bothersome all this technology is.
I’ve tried to help her be more proficient with tech, but I can manage about 15 minutes of calm understanding training, before inevitable frustration takes over and I can’t handle it.
And for those suggestions of not helping her/ enabling her by going over, that would result in a very large ‘woe is me’ guilt trip for months.
Is this just mummy issues wrapped up in technology and parents complaint? Who knows, but what I do know is that if beelzebub wanted to come up with a lifetime torture to inflict misery on the cursed, he’d just need to put them in a room with my mum and an iPad for eternity. Or for 20 minutes
I'd suggest most likely she is lonely and just wants to see you, and this is the excuse? If that's not the issue, can you remote control her computer using TeamViewer or similar, and teach her how to forward the emails?
I think it's much harder to help your own parents with this sort of thing, than it is to help strangers - I help strangers as a volunteer and find it much easier! Perhaps you could link her in with the likes of AbilityNet?
I think it's much harder to help your own parents with this sort of thing, than it is to help strangers - I help strangers as a volunteer and find it much easier! Perhaps you could link her in with the likes of AbilityNet?
Greshamst said:
Is there anything more infuriating than helping your parents with technology?
Sometimes I wonder if i’m actually in a Truman Show situation, and it’s all an elaborate experiment to test frustration and ability to deal with stress.
My mother wants me to drive 40 minutes each way, to help her print out some emails on paper, to post to someone.
If you suggest that she just forward the emails she says “I can’t be doing with that, no” and won’t entertain it, despite explaining how much easier both our lives would be.
She also expects this to be done this evening, and will spend the whole time complaining about how slow the printer is, and how bothersome all this technology is.
I’ve tried to help her be more proficient with tech, but I can manage about 15 minutes of calm understanding training, before inevitable frustration takes over and I can’t handle it.
And for those suggestions of not helping her/ enabling her by going over, that would result in a very large ‘woe is me’ guilt trip for months.
Is this just mummy issues wrapped up in technology and parents complaint? Who knows, but what I do know is that if beelzebub wanted to come up with a lifetime torture to inflict misery on the cursed, he’d just need to put them in a room with my mum and an iPad for eternity. Or for 20 minutes
And yet our parents can do, and did do things, that would flummox many young people today.Sometimes I wonder if i’m actually in a Truman Show situation, and it’s all an elaborate experiment to test frustration and ability to deal with stress.
My mother wants me to drive 40 minutes each way, to help her print out some emails on paper, to post to someone.
If you suggest that she just forward the emails she says “I can’t be doing with that, no” and won’t entertain it, despite explaining how much easier both our lives would be.
She also expects this to be done this evening, and will spend the whole time complaining about how slow the printer is, and how bothersome all this technology is.
I’ve tried to help her be more proficient with tech, but I can manage about 15 minutes of calm understanding training, before inevitable frustration takes over and I can’t handle it.
And for those suggestions of not helping her/ enabling her by going over, that would result in a very large ‘woe is me’ guilt trip for months.
Is this just mummy issues wrapped up in technology and parents complaint? Who knows, but what I do know is that if beelzebub wanted to come up with a lifetime torture to inflict misery on the cursed, he’d just need to put them in a room with my mum and an iPad for eternity. Or for 20 minutes
It has been said, that in terms of general intelligence, there is little difference between people now, and those that existed hundreds of years ago.
They just apply their intelligence in different ways to the conditions they faced on the day.
OP, just wait until your parents aren't around to be able to ask you for things and then you'll realise that you wish they could be around to ask you for help again. And you'd gladly drive 40 minutes each way to help, 1000x over.
Until that time comes, use Google Remote Desktop (easier than VNC) to connect and help them without the drive. https://remotedesktop.google.com
Until that time comes, use Google Remote Desktop (easier than VNC) to connect and help them without the drive. https://remotedesktop.google.com
There's normally a few of those small LED light bulbs that need changing when I visit my 78yr old mother. The bulbs don't last long and I've suggested she changes her light fittings but she won't, then moans that another bulb has gone.
I think for the older generation it can be difficult to understand how to operate a device when it's not obvious how it works in the first place. So printing an email involves understanding how emails arrive on your computer and how a printer can see inside you computer to know what to print. Nothing comes with instructions or manuals, they are all online if they exist and when you aren't really sure how something invisible like the internet works then it can be difficult.
However I'm 51 and my 17yr old son tuts at me if I ever have to ask him to explain something technical to me! it's a vicious circle.
Edited by The Gauge on Monday 18th September 11:57
honda_exige said:
Install teamviewer on her PC next time you're there and you can sort most problems from your mobile wherever you are. Job jobbed. That's what I did.
+1 exactly what I do with my folks in their 80s. To be fair they manage most things on an iPad now so it has gotten so much easier to help out. Printing emails and posting them though does seem a little eccentric, almost like she just wants the OP to come over for company.Easternlight said:
Just hope and pray that there will be someone there for you when you're her age and you can't understand whatever piece of bulls
t technology is being forced on you by then!
Maybe it is the arrogance of my “youth”. But I feel like when this happens, I will research how to do the thing I’m not sure of, and give it a go. It’s how I currently get through life with things I do not understand. t technology is being forced on you by then!I don’t understand DIY, but I’ve changed shower fittings, changed light fittings, fixed plumbing issues by looking into it and following some instructions.
Tommo87 said:
I often hear my parents say the words.
“They don’t make this for old people”
Strange“They don’t make this for old people”
This seems rather ageist.
My parents died over a decade ago both in their mid/late 80s. They were completely conversant with on-line banking operating the smart phones of the time and never used cash.
I'm now approaching 70 happily built an NuC to run my music system with separate Raspberry Pi operated remote volume control. Designed and installed voice activated lighting control and a few other fun gizmos.
It's attitude not age that matters.
You've got it easy, my parents live over 200 miles away and are in their 80's They both use android tablets, but do have a windows pc as well. When ever I try to talk Dad through some setup or other I always get through telling him what button to click then try to explain the next button only to find out a few minutes later that he didn't click the first button in case it went wrong. Then he decides to talk over what i am trying to tell him and he gets lost.
The last one was setting up a new mobile contract for him, I sent him an email with step by step instructions, screen grabs of buttons, everything I could think of. I get a phone call saying he doesn't know what to click and what information they need. I asked have you followed my email step by step. the answer is "oh I had a quick look, but didn't read it all"
This is a man who, before he retired was Chief engineer for a large petrochemical company and a chartered civil engineer all his working life.
But then my wife will print web pages out and post them to her brothers, even though they are all more than capable of working the internet and shopping on line. Not to mention the communication via Facebook, even though I set up a family WhatsApp group. Sometimes you just can't help them.
The last one was setting up a new mobile contract for him, I sent him an email with step by step instructions, screen grabs of buttons, everything I could think of. I get a phone call saying he doesn't know what to click and what information they need. I asked have you followed my email step by step. the answer is "oh I had a quick look, but didn't read it all"
This is a man who, before he retired was Chief engineer for a large petrochemical company and a chartered civil engineer all his working life.
But then my wife will print web pages out and post them to her brothers, even though they are all more than capable of working the internet and shopping on line. Not to mention the communication via Facebook, even though I set up a family WhatsApp group. Sometimes you just can't help them.
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