Prenuptial agreement
Poll: Prenuptial agreement
Total Members Polled: 70
Discussion
julian64 said:
The question is that you meet the person you want to marry. A few weeks before the event your partner says "can we sign a prenup just to protect each other should the worst happen"
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Personally if there is a large imbalance in wealth or earnings going into the marriage then I would be completely happy with it. .
It should recognise that the relationship will change over time though. When kids come along one partner may give up work (or a career) so their earning potential drops over a long period of time, possibly even affecting their state pension. Not all contributions to a marriage/home are financial.
You are asking on a forum mostly populated by men and women initiate most divorces (two thirds) and tend to do better financially in the settlements.
In general terms fairly likely that the marriage will fail and it will be the woman's decision to end it if it does. Pre-nups reflect this reality.
In general terms fairly likely that the marriage will fail and it will be the woman's decision to end it if it does. Pre-nups reflect this reality.
98elise said:
julian64 said:
The question is that you meet the person you want to marry. A few weeks before the event your partner says "can we sign a prenup just to protect each other should the worst happen"
.
Personally if there is a large imbalance in wealth or earnings going into the marriage then I would be completely happy with it. .
It should recognise that the relationship will change over time though. When kids come along one partner may give up work (or a career) so their earning potential drops over a long period of time, possibly even affecting their state pension. Not all contributions to a marriage/home are financial.
The problem as described to me is that a prenup will forever hold confirmation over the relationship that there isn't a meeting of two equals. For the wealthier person there is the problem of wondering if the relationship holds because of the money. For the poorer person there is the problem of the wealthiest always holding the power in the relationship.
I have no advice to give in this situation and wondered if anyone here is actually in a prenup of any sort that would give the benefit of their experience?
Have any of you found out if a prenuptial agreement is legally enforceable in the UK?
I sought legal advice on the matter about 20.years ago. The Solicitor told me that they weren't legally binding unless there was a big disparity of assets, like £millions.
If things have changed since then, I stand corrected but this subject has given rise to well-meaning but ill-informed comments, assuming UK law is identical to that of American TV.
I sought legal advice on the matter about 20.years ago. The Solicitor told me that they weren't legally binding unless there was a big disparity of assets, like £millions.
If things have changed since then, I stand corrected but this subject has given rise to well-meaning but ill-informed comments, assuming UK law is identical to that of American TV.
no.
a prenup suggests someone focused on material things, so less likely to be someone I would have considered for marriage… As christians, divorce is really not a consideration. I like things, but hold onto them lightly, so if I lost everything I wouldn’t see it as the end of the world, if anything terrible happened, ownership of material possessions wouldn't be my top priority…
a prenup suggests someone focused on material things, so less likely to be someone I would have considered for marriage… As christians, divorce is really not a consideration. I like things, but hold onto them lightly, so if I lost everything I wouldn’t see it as the end of the world, if anything terrible happened, ownership of material possessions wouldn't be my top priority…
A family friend got engaged about three years ago after being with her partner a year. She has a significant monthly income from a trust fund, he does civil engineering and has three children by two previous partners. Her parents insisted on a prenuptial prior to the wedding last year and he immediately walked away.
It’s a tricky subject, but if I were to marry someone that was far wealthier than myself, I wouldn’t have an issue signing one. I think that most of the time it’s a request from other family members to put their minds at rest.
The way I see it is that if a person I wanted to marry asked me to sign a pre-nup and I rejected it, it’s essentially saying to them that I think we might get divorced and I want half of your assets if we do.
The way I see it is that if a person I wanted to marry asked me to sign a pre-nup and I rejected it, it’s essentially saying to them that I think we might get divorced and I want half of your assets if we do.
I've not voted because there isn't an answer that reflects my view.
When I married my wife over 20 years ago, the thought never entered either of our heads. I earned about twice what she did, but we didn't have any significant assets and had just recently bought our first home together with equal contributions to the deposit.
Whilst I very much hope never to be in a position to be marrying anyone else in my life, my wife does have a life-limiting illness which means that I could potentially find myself outliving her by a significant length of time, so if I ever do find myself in that situation, I would very definitely be the one insisting on a prenup.
My concern in doing so wouldn't be for me at all, but completely for my kids. My wife and I have spent over quarter of a century building both a family and some fairly significant financial assets, so I would insist on an agreement that detailed all my assets at the time of the marriage along with annual updates that provided for immediate inheritance by my kids of any liquid assets at the time of my death and of my share of a family home upon my new wife's death assuming she outlived me.
My FIL has a similar agreement in place. He has been married to my wife's stepmother for longer than we've known each other and for more than half my wife and her step-sibling's lives so in pretty much every way they all consider this as the real family relationship, but all the same nobody thinks it was anything other than a great idea to have an agreement in place because there was a very significant difference in assets when they married, and the agreement will ensure that there is no acrimonious wrangling when they do go.
When I married my wife over 20 years ago, the thought never entered either of our heads. I earned about twice what she did, but we didn't have any significant assets and had just recently bought our first home together with equal contributions to the deposit.
Whilst I very much hope never to be in a position to be marrying anyone else in my life, my wife does have a life-limiting illness which means that I could potentially find myself outliving her by a significant length of time, so if I ever do find myself in that situation, I would very definitely be the one insisting on a prenup.
My concern in doing so wouldn't be for me at all, but completely for my kids. My wife and I have spent over quarter of a century building both a family and some fairly significant financial assets, so I would insist on an agreement that detailed all my assets at the time of the marriage along with annual updates that provided for immediate inheritance by my kids of any liquid assets at the time of my death and of my share of a family home upon my new wife's death assuming she outlived me.
My FIL has a similar agreement in place. He has been married to my wife's stepmother for longer than we've known each other and for more than half my wife and her step-sibling's lives so in pretty much every way they all consider this as the real family relationship, but all the same nobody thinks it was anything other than a great idea to have an agreement in place because there was a very significant difference in assets when they married, and the agreement will ensure that there is no acrimonious wrangling when they do go.
Would be fine with signing one, and with proposing one in the (unlikely! 
) event that I have significantly more assets than someone I want to marry.
Reason being that you shouldn’t be thinking about breaking up, so it shouldn’t ever be relevant - as a result, why object? If it’s a deal breaker, clearly you’re not just marrying for love.
The above does assume it’s a “fair” pre-nup, where each takes out what they came in with, provision is made of any children who might come along, that changes in income during the marriage are accounted for, etc.
) event that I have significantly more assets than someone I want to marry. Reason being that you shouldn’t be thinking about breaking up, so it shouldn’t ever be relevant - as a result, why object? If it’s a deal breaker, clearly you’re not just marrying for love.
The above does assume it’s a “fair” pre-nup, where each takes out what they came in with, provision is made of any children who might come along, that changes in income during the marriage are accounted for, etc.
Marc p said:
It’s a tricky subject, but if I were to marry someone that was far wealthier than myself, I wouldn’t have an issue signing one. I think that most of the time it’s a request from other family members to put their minds at rest.
The way I see it is that if a person I wanted to marry asked me to sign a pre-nup and I rejected it, it’s essentially saying to them that I think we might get divorced and I want half of your assets if we do.
Or its like them saying "I think we will get divorced and I want to protect my assets" The way I see it is that if a person I wanted to marry asked me to sign a pre-nup and I rejected it, it’s essentially saying to them that I think we might get divorced and I want half of your assets if we do.
For me which ever way you dress it up it suggests divorce is on the cards.
My thought is probably best just to not get married if a prenup is required.
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