Child custody case
Discussion
Just wondering if the PH collective have any experience or thoughts on how this might play out for my mate in court.
Mate and his wife divorced last year, have a 2 year old son. In divorce agreed for mum having 70% custody and all the assets that granted her like most of the value of their house that she barely chipped in for etc.
shortly after she realised that with 70% custody she couldn’t actually work enough to afford to live so using the kid as leverage, just leaving him with dad and refusing to have him back until 50% custody was agreed to, but with her keeping all the assets. So been doing 50% custody for 2023.
Now to earn a bit more money mum wants to go and live in Dubai with her mate (female) and take the kid with her. Currently suggesting until 2025 when the lad needs to start school back here.
Dad doesn’t want this as he is fond of his lad and all his friends and family are here.
Mum has offered the arrangement to be on a 3 or 6 monthly rotation but Dad is not happy with these options either.
Mum has then said fine I’ll just go by myself then and you can have kiddo for the next year and a bit. Again not acceptable to Dad.
Wondering what the likely outcome is here, they go to court over this in Feb as mediation has failed. Will my mate have to give in and suck up one of the options she has given or can the court force her stay put and continue with the lawfully agreed custody arrangement?
Mate and his wife divorced last year, have a 2 year old son. In divorce agreed for mum having 70% custody and all the assets that granted her like most of the value of their house that she barely chipped in for etc.
shortly after she realised that with 70% custody she couldn’t actually work enough to afford to live so using the kid as leverage, just leaving him with dad and refusing to have him back until 50% custody was agreed to, but with her keeping all the assets. So been doing 50% custody for 2023.
Now to earn a bit more money mum wants to go and live in Dubai with her mate (female) and take the kid with her. Currently suggesting until 2025 when the lad needs to start school back here.
Dad doesn’t want this as he is fond of his lad and all his friends and family are here.
Mum has offered the arrangement to be on a 3 or 6 monthly rotation but Dad is not happy with these options either.
Mum has then said fine I’ll just go by myself then and you can have kiddo for the next year and a bit. Again not acceptable to Dad.
Wondering what the likely outcome is here, they go to court over this in Feb as mediation has failed. Will my mate have to give in and suck up one of the options she has given or can the court force her stay put and continue with the lawfully agreed custody arrangement?
CoolHands said:
Pretty crazy that she is willing to go to Dubai and forfeit custody of her child! Good riddance I think, let her go and sort out childcare etc without her.
Yeahh odd and how would it fair when she came back from a legal perspective, can she just expect everything would just go back to how it was?TBH not great on the dad either though, if that was me I would do everything I possibly could to have my child full time, if that was an option given to me by the mother.
RB Will said:
Mate and his wife divorced last year, have a 2 year old son. In divorce agreed for mum having 70% custody and all the assets that granted her like most of the value of their house that she barely chipped in for etc.
shortly after she realised that with 70% custody she couldn’t actually work enough to afford to live so using the kid as leverage, just leaving him with dad and refusing to have him back until 50% custody was agreed to, but with her keeping all the assets. So been doing 50% custody for 2023.
You use the word "agreed" in pre & post "kid as leverage" what do you mean by agreed? I ask because if the first one was through the court then I don't think the second is applicable unless done legally. IANAL.shortly after she realised that with 70% custody she couldn’t actually work enough to afford to live so using the kid as leverage, just leaving him with dad and refusing to have him back until 50% custody was agreed to, but with her keeping all the assets. So been doing 50% custody for 2023.
RB Will said:
Now to earn a bit more money mum wants to go and live in Dubai with her mate (female) and take the kid with her. Currently suggesting until 2025 when the lad needs to start school back here.
She can't legally take the child abroad without consent & if she does, she will be in a whole world of pain, especially in UAE as they frequently side with father anyway.RB Will said:
Mum has offered the arrangement to be on a 3 or 6 monthly rotation but Dad is not happy with these options either.
Mum has then said fine I’ll just go by myself then and you can have kiddo for the next year and a bit. Again not acceptable to Dad.
See above, unless agreed in law then she can't.Mum has then said fine I’ll just go by myself then and you can have kiddo for the next year and a bit. Again not acceptable to Dad.
RB Will said:
Wondering what the likely outcome is here, they go to court over this in Feb as mediation has failed. Will my mate have to give in and suck up one of the options she has given or can the court force her stay put and continue with the lawfully agreed custody arrangement?
I don't think they can force her to stay, but I think they can prevent her from taking the child.I stress (as mentioned above) IANAL so legal advice is very much required.
CoolHands said:
Pretty crazy that she is willing to go to Dubai and forfeit custody of her child! Good riddance I think, let her go and sort out childcare etc without her.
Happened to a lad in my daughters class no idea where his mum is dad has custody well actually more like his parents do while he works. E-bmw said:
GiantEnemyCrab said:
If she thins out to Dubai and he has the kid - he might get some cash from her as maintenance?
Virtually impossible to enforce as she will be broad & (I guess) wouldn't do so willingly.GiantEnemyCrab said:
E-bmw said:
GiantEnemyCrab said:
If she thins out to Dubai and he has the kid - he might get some cash from her as maintenance?
Virtually impossible to enforce as she will be broad & (I guess) wouldn't do so willingly.To be honest if she's willing to leave the child here, I'd go with that option and I suspect she'll never be home. It'll be hard on the kid but the mother sounds like a waste of air.
The guy could go for maintenance but I'd imagine it could be tricky with her being abroad. I certainly wouldn't be allowing the kid to go to another country though.
The guy could go for maintenance but I'd imagine it could be tricky with her being abroad. I certainly wouldn't be allowing the kid to go to another country though.
I cant add anything helpful but it never ceases to amaze me just how mean/difficult people can be when they break up. Can't be good for any of them especially the child.
My mate has just split from his mrs and within a week she's gone to a solicitor as she wants at least half the houses value.
Mate isn't willing to give her a thing as his mum was the one who bought and paid for the house, but it is in his name, they are married and they have a child........
He is in for a very long and very nasty drawn out battle i think.
My mate has just split from his mrs and within a week she's gone to a solicitor as she wants at least half the houses value.
Mate isn't willing to give her a thing as his mum was the one who bought and paid for the house, but it is in his name, they are married and they have a child........
He is in for a very long and very nasty drawn out battle i think.
m3jappa said:
I cant add anything helpful but it never ceases to amaze me just how mean/difficult people can be when they break up. Can't be good for any of them especially the child.
My mate has just split from his mrs and within a week she's gone to a solicitor as she wants at least half the houses value.
Mate isn't willing to give her a thing as his mum was the one who bought and paid for the house, but it is in his name, they are married and they have a child........
He is in for a very long and very nasty drawn out battle i think.
Your mate needs a reality check, it'll only cost him more in the long run if he fights it. My mate has just split from his mrs and within a week she's gone to a solicitor as she wants at least half the houses value.
Mate isn't willing to give her a thing as his mum was the one who bought and paid for the house, but it is in his name, they are married and they have a child........
He is in for a very long and very nasty drawn out battle i think.
My colleagues ex was awful, happy to take half the house but not happy for him to have a share of her pension which he was entitled to, also dragged her feet massively with paperwork her end, for months, however paperwork from him she wanted immediately even getting her new partner to lean on him and guilt tripping him with her terminal cancer diagnosis.
My colleague was brilliant throughout as he wanted to be the better person in his kids eyes and do the best by them, it's worked, they can't stand her due to the way she has behaved towards him, one of them has been living with him for the past 2 years, he hasn't asked for a penny of maintenance from her as he can't be bothered with the stress, yet she coined it from him when the son was living with her.
You got the distinct impression she felt she could divorce him and move on just like that, no financial implications her end, only his end.
He's going to have a very very long painful time. He is going to see a solicitor who i imagine will tell him that he has to give her half at least. He will have to take a mortgage out on it......Something he has avoided his whole life. Commitment and that.
But i reckon even when he's told by a solicitor he just won't have it. He genuinely believes he owes her nothing. She believes he owes at least half.
What a mess.
I cant believe people live like this.
But i reckon even when he's told by a solicitor he just won't have it. He genuinely believes he owes her nothing. She believes he owes at least half.
What a mess.
I cant believe people live like this.
I'm not sure that there's much he can do if she's insistent on going to Dubai. He'll either have to accept full or part custody.
Personally I'd go for full, as I can't see the kid being well cared for by a mother who's happy to leave him in favour of working (partying) in Dubai.
Would help if you knew what she intended do there. As it stands it could be anything from being a responsible surgeon to partying away and posting on Instagram/OnlyFans.
Personally I'd go for full, as I can't see the kid being well cared for by a mother who's happy to leave him in favour of working (partying) in Dubai.
Would help if you knew what she intended do there. As it stands it could be anything from being a responsible surgeon to partying away and posting on Instagram/OnlyFans.
Apologies for lack of replies, I’ll hopefully respond to a few other bits later, multi quoting on the phone is a pain.
Just to address the what will mum be doing question. She does have a legit career in healthcare and the job pays literally double in Dubai compared to the UK, so understand the draw on that front.
It is mad how she has flipped since they separated. Was fine before, fine immediately after separation but once her divorced mum, solicitors and her friends got going on her she had turned into an absolute venomous mental. Seems to just be trying to do anything she can to punish my mate for calling it quits on the relationship.
Just to address the what will mum be doing question. She does have a legit career in healthcare and the job pays literally double in Dubai compared to the UK, so understand the draw on that front.
It is mad how she has flipped since they separated. Was fine before, fine immediately after separation but once her divorced mum, solicitors and her friends got going on her she had turned into an absolute venomous mental. Seems to just be trying to do anything she can to punish my mate for calling it quits on the relationship.
king plane ticket.Mum sounds like an irrational nut job however Dad needs to give his head a wobble and step up to protect his lad.
Tell mum to bugger off to Dubai and in the meantime, dad needs to find a way to look after his lad on his own.
If she takes him abroad I expect the relationship with his dad will be all but gone.
As to how the courts will interpret this, it all turns on the best interests of the child. Your mate needs to get some proper legal advice but I'd be surprised if the court decides that it's in his interests to take him abroad at such a young age.
Tell mum to bugger off to Dubai and in the meantime, dad needs to find a way to look after his lad on his own.
If she takes him abroad I expect the relationship with his dad will be all but gone.
As to how the courts will interpret this, it all turns on the best interests of the child. Your mate needs to get some proper legal advice but I'd be surprised if the court decides that it's in his interests to take him abroad at such a young age.
RB Will said:
J
......... she realised that with 70% custody she couldn’t actually work enough to afford to live so using the kid as leverage, just leaving him with dad and refusing to have him back until 50% custody was agreed to, .......
.........Mum has then said fine I’ll just go by myself then and you can have kiddo for the next year and a bit. Again not acceptable to Dad.
I hope when he grows up the child never reads this thread and discovers that his parents were having a custody battle to NOT have custody of their child.......... she realised that with 70% custody she couldn’t actually work enough to afford to live so using the kid as leverage, just leaving him with dad and refusing to have him back until 50% custody was agreed to, .......
.........Mum has then said fine I’ll just go by myself then and you can have kiddo for the next year and a bit. Again not acceptable to Dad.
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