Discussion
Long time reader, general petrolhead, advice appreciated.
I’m finding myself in a position of ever increasing stress due mainly to parents. It might not be warranted, I don’t know and I don’t really know where to start so I thought I’d ask the masses.
I’m one of two children, both parents are still alive and early 60’s. Not a particularly easy childhood with parental relations on either my or my siblings parts, but we all get on currently.
In the last 10 years my sibling and I have made significant lifestyle changes in comparison to my parents and we’ve become considerably more secure and generally well off.
We both now have our own children.
Your viewpoint probably changes as you get older and you start to see them more as just people, but our parents are hopeless. They live hand to mouth and don’t have a consistent or secure lifestyle.
Because of our hard work both myself and my sibling are now homeowners. Our parents are renting privately, but are well into their 60’s and their private landlord is far older and it’s no secret that the landlords family wish to sell up when the landlord dies.
They have no savings or pensions and will struggle to pay a bond on a new rental property. They also have other financial commitments for a business rental property. The business covers its costs but has no equity or assets to speak of.
My concerns are these mainly:
When our parents get too old to continue working (self employed) or if something was to happen to one of them, is there any way for their liabilities to become our burden?
Second of all, as awful as it sounds, what is the situation regarding housing when their current situation ends. Is it simply a case of registering for council housing and joining the waiting list? Neither of them are easy to deal with and have effectively destroyed relationships with both mine and my siblings partners, so housing either of our parents with us is likely to cause considerable stress to our families sadly.
Generally an awful situation to be in. Any advice welcomed.
I’m finding myself in a position of ever increasing stress due mainly to parents. It might not be warranted, I don’t know and I don’t really know where to start so I thought I’d ask the masses.
I’m one of two children, both parents are still alive and early 60’s. Not a particularly easy childhood with parental relations on either my or my siblings parts, but we all get on currently.
In the last 10 years my sibling and I have made significant lifestyle changes in comparison to my parents and we’ve become considerably more secure and generally well off.
We both now have our own children.
Your viewpoint probably changes as you get older and you start to see them more as just people, but our parents are hopeless. They live hand to mouth and don’t have a consistent or secure lifestyle.
Because of our hard work both myself and my sibling are now homeowners. Our parents are renting privately, but are well into their 60’s and their private landlord is far older and it’s no secret that the landlords family wish to sell up when the landlord dies.
They have no savings or pensions and will struggle to pay a bond on a new rental property. They also have other financial commitments for a business rental property. The business covers its costs but has no equity or assets to speak of.
My concerns are these mainly:
When our parents get too old to continue working (self employed) or if something was to happen to one of them, is there any way for their liabilities to become our burden?
Second of all, as awful as it sounds, what is the situation regarding housing when their current situation ends. Is it simply a case of registering for council housing and joining the waiting list? Neither of them are easy to deal with and have effectively destroyed relationships with both mine and my siblings partners, so housing either of our parents with us is likely to cause considerable stress to our families sadly.
Generally an awful situation to be in. Any advice welcomed.
Their debts are their own, and you cannot be held liable unless you have agreed to act as a guarantor for them. Debts are settled from a deceased's estate should they die, if there are insufficient funds then the debt dies with them.
You are not lawfully responsible for housing a parent.
You are not lawfully responsible for housing a parent.
Before my father died 5 years ago I was very concerned about my parents wellbeing
My Mother kept having falls due to a stroke and Parkinsons and they lived in rural area so the response times were longer
As well I was not sure that they were looking after themselfs
So I spoke to social services and got my mother on the radar thank goodness I did because the local coucil care team were very good
They arranged emergency care in 2 days because my Mother had triggered at risk status after five weeks then reviewed it
Due to my Mother having over £23,000 she then paid for a care team to visit 2 times a day and an anti fall sensor in operation which saved her life
After 3-4 months we arranged for to her be in care home
What helped to have in the place the below
Speaking to her GP
Speaking to social services
Is there a power of Attorney set up for health and wealth set up
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/worrie...
I hope this helps
My Mother kept having falls due to a stroke and Parkinsons and they lived in rural area so the response times were longer
As well I was not sure that they were looking after themselfs
So I spoke to social services and got my mother on the radar thank goodness I did because the local coucil care team were very good
They arranged emergency care in 2 days because my Mother had triggered at risk status after five weeks then reviewed it
Due to my Mother having over £23,000 she then paid for a care team to visit 2 times a day and an anti fall sensor in operation which saved her life
After 3-4 months we arranged for to her be in care home
What helped to have in the place the below
Speaking to her GP
Speaking to social services
Is there a power of Attorney set up for health and wealth set up
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/worrie...
I hope this helps
Edited by Blue Mk8 Golf R on Thursday 4th January 10:55
OP, is your primary concern their wellbeing or forced responsibility?
As other's have stated, you have no legal responsibility or in my view moral responsibility to support your parents whom have potentially been gung-ho with their finances.
If you are concerned about their well-being and feel you want to assist them financially in later life then this is something you will need to budget for.
We live in a welfare state, so they will be housed and fed as a minimum, their basic human needs should be catered for.
As other's have stated, you have no legal responsibility or in my view moral responsibility to support your parents whom have potentially been gung-ho with their finances.
If you are concerned about their well-being and feel you want to assist them financially in later life then this is something you will need to budget for.
We live in a welfare state, so they will be housed and fed as a minimum, their basic human needs should be catered for.
Do not and I mean do not have them live with you, ask me how I know.
If the landlord family sell up they will have to give notice, the council will have a responsibly to house them. the dilemma then is if you live in a nice town or a rough one as the council places tend to be in, but not always crappy areas.
If the landlord family sell up they will have to give notice, the council will have a responsibly to house them. the dilemma then is if you live in a nice town or a rough one as the council places tend to be in, but not always crappy areas.
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