Do you ever feel like you've made it?
Discussion
I'll try not too sound like a flash t
t because I'm not. 
I left school at 16 went into an apprenticeship. And I've grafted hard, mostly on the tools or professional sport (yacht racing, yes I know) with some spells in sales/management. for the last 20 years. I now run my own small business with a friend. Things are going good we have some good contracts it's all fairly stable. Which I think given the current climate is good.
Been married 10 years and things are great between us. My daughter is great she's 8 this year. And were 50% down on a very nice house. I'd be alot further along if I didn't waste all my money on st old cars and track days.
We can afford to live a nice life . And have minimal debt (2020 house prices considered) . I generally buy what I want/need when I need it.
I can afford my cars 208 GTi BPS and fisher fury. The BPS has moved from track/weekend duties to family car as my wife now works from home so got rid of her car. (Good job it was an eco boost fiesta ) Hopefully the fury will take over track duties but the 208 will run rings around it and be reliable, still at the moment.
The rub is I just never feel like I'm doing alright. I'm always on to the next thing. I always feel like I can do better. Maybe it's the industry I've worked it where I'm usually the poorest guy in the room (on the deck) by a big margin.
If I look at my friend group I'm doing great. I just can't see it. Always feel like I need to achieve more.
I'm not posting this for validation. I just genuinely would like to know if this is normal feeling/behaviour. And if there's a point where you start to feel a sense of achievement? Or at least be content with the life you've built?
Feel free to take the piss
t because I'm not. I left school at 16 went into an apprenticeship. And I've grafted hard, mostly on the tools or professional sport (yacht racing, yes I know
) with some spells in sales/management. for the last 20 years. I now run my own small business with a friend. Things are going good we have some good contracts it's all fairly stable. Which I think given the current climate is good. Been married 10 years and things are great between us. My daughter is great she's 8 this year. And were 50% down on a very nice house. I'd be alot further along if I didn't waste all my money on s
t old cars and track days. We can afford to live a nice life . And have minimal debt (2020 house prices considered) . I generally buy what I want/need when I need it.
I can afford my cars 208 GTi BPS and fisher fury. The BPS has moved from track/weekend duties to family car as my wife now works from home so got rid of her car. (Good job it was an eco boost fiesta ) Hopefully the fury will take over track duties but the 208 will run rings around it and be reliable, still at the moment.
The rub is I just never feel like I'm doing alright. I'm always on to the next thing. I always feel like I can do better. Maybe it's the industry I've worked it where I'm usually the poorest guy in the room (on the deck) by a big margin.
If I look at my friend group I'm doing great. I just can't see it. Always feel like I need to achieve more.
I'm not posting this for validation. I just genuinely would like to know if this is normal feeling/behaviour. And if there's a point where you start to feel a sense of achievement? Or at least be content with the life you've built?
Feel free to take the piss
We all quickly normalise where we currently are at. If you are used to a good income, it will feel normal and not as impressive as it was at the start.
I also very much like the phrase that: "trajectory is more important and position", meaning that it's the improving of your situation that is more satisfying, not the position itself. Being second best is not great if you were 1st, but being 34th is amazing if you were 152nd. You get the idea I'm sure.
I would also suggest that happiness is the positive differential between expectation and outcome. If you expect to always win and you do, it's not not impressive. Again, normalising your current position I think.
These are why you should never want to win the lottery by the way, but achieve at a steady pace in life.
I also very much like the phrase that: "trajectory is more important and position", meaning that it's the improving of your situation that is more satisfying, not the position itself. Being second best is not great if you were 1st, but being 34th is amazing if you were 152nd. You get the idea I'm sure.
I would also suggest that happiness is the positive differential between expectation and outcome. If you expect to always win and you do, it's not not impressive. Again, normalising your current position I think.
These are why you should never want to win the lottery by the way, but achieve at a steady pace in life.
It's natural to look up and focus on the things you don't have yet, the next big purchase or adventure, and feel like your life is missing something. Most of us, even those who have been very successful, are unlikely to be the richest or most accomplished person in every room.
People rarely compare their lives to those doing less well than they are. There are plenty of people who are far less successful, either in terms of financial reward or personal development, but they are easy to dismiss.
I think this in part is what drives successful people, the desire to do more or have more. They are rarely satisfied. I work with some UHNW individuals, and they, like us are still always looking for the next thing, whether it is a bigger yacht or another helicopter. I don't think it ever stops in those cases.
In absolute terms I am successful, make what is comfortably a top 1% salary, am well established in my career, well travelled, have a great family, big house, lots of land, etc, but still feel like I have so much potential to do better, rather than how focusing on just how lucky I actually am.
Human nature is strange.
People rarely compare their lives to those doing less well than they are. There are plenty of people who are far less successful, either in terms of financial reward or personal development, but they are easy to dismiss.
I think this in part is what drives successful people, the desire to do more or have more. They are rarely satisfied. I work with some UHNW individuals, and they, like us are still always looking for the next thing, whether it is a bigger yacht or another helicopter. I don't think it ever stops in those cases.
In absolute terms I am successful, make what is comfortably a top 1% salary, am well established in my career, well travelled, have a great family, big house, lots of land, etc, but still feel like I have so much potential to do better, rather than how focusing on just how lucky I actually am.
Human nature is strange.
It's good to have motivation if you're heading in a direction that you're in control of. Too many people just accept the norms of what is expected of them and tick them off as they progress through life without question. If someone is happy and content in their life but hasn't done any of what you describe and has a modest lifestyle do you think they've failed? Just interested, not a critique.
MikeM6 said:
We all quickly normalise where we currently are at. If you are used to a good income, it will feel normal and not as impressive as it was at the start.
I also very much like the phrase that: "trajectory is more important and position", meaning that it's the improving of your situation that is more satisfying, not the position itself. Being second best is not great if you were 1st, but being 34th is amazing if you were 152nd. You get the idea I'm sure.
I would also suggest that happiness is the positive differential between expectation and outcome. If you expect to always win and you do, it's not not impressive. Again, normalising your current position I think.
These are why you should never want to win the lottery by the way, but achieve at a steady pace in life.
I also very much like the phrase that: "trajectory is more important and position", meaning that it's the improving of your situation that is more satisfying, not the position itself. Being second best is not great if you were 1st, but being 34th is amazing if you were 152nd. You get the idea I'm sure.
I would also suggest that happiness is the positive differential between expectation and outcome. If you expect to always win and you do, it's not not impressive. Again, normalising your current position I think.
These are why you should never want to win the lottery by the way, but achieve at a steady pace in life.
Drive and ambition is good, and to be commended. But it's also important to appreciate what you have. Happiness is probably the single most important thing you can attain, although I suppose we all get that in different ways.
Sounds to me like you're doing well and should maybe try to appreciate yourself a bit more. Interesting thread though.
Sounds to me like you're doing well and should maybe try to appreciate yourself a bit more. Interesting thread though.
xx99xx said:
Stop comparing yourself to others and your problems will probably go away. Or start comparing yourself to others less fortunate than yourself, and not just financially.
If you're in good health, then even that is something to celebrate and be content with.
Genuinely I wish I new how to. I'm not sure that I'm comparing my self to anyone. It seems to just be nature to not be happy with anything unless I can make it better. Just look at some of my build threads. In my world nothing is perfect everything can be better. I don't know if that comes from my professional sailing from quite an early age or my nature but I'm never happy with anything. Always looking to improve. Sounds great written down but it's fIf you're in good health, then even that is something to celebrate and be content with.
king exhausting I think if you are happy and healthy then you are doing ok.
The quote 'the richest man is the one most content with what he has' springs to mind.
Some people are never content and always strive for more, whether that be material possesions, promotions etc.
Some of these people end up being very successful in some ways (successful career etc.) but are often less successful in other ways (happiness, health, contentment, personal relationships etc)
Personally, I'd rather be less well off but happy than be rich/successful but miserable, but I'm weird in that I've never valued material possessions or status.
The quote 'the richest man is the one most content with what he has' springs to mind.
Some people are never content and always strive for more, whether that be material possesions, promotions etc.
Some of these people end up being very successful in some ways (successful career etc.) but are often less successful in other ways (happiness, health, contentment, personal relationships etc)
Personally, I'd rather be less well off but happy than be rich/successful but miserable, but I'm weird in that I've never valued material possessions or status.
as you get older, you realise life has a nasty habit of kicking you in the bks. Quite often the "kick in the bks" doesn't give a st how wealthy you are, and you realise that having money is totally irrelevant.
Just be as happy as possible, if you're happy you've made it.
ks. Quite often the "kick in the bks" doesn't give a st how wealthy you are, and you realise that having money is totally irrelevant.Just be as happy as possible, if you're happy you've made it.
Edited by Bob-iylho on Saturday 2nd March 18:44
Edited by Bob-iylho on Saturday 2nd March 18:45
MikeM6 said:
We all quickly normalise where we currently are at. If you are used to a good income, it will feel normal and not as impressive as it was at the start.
Every day you go out to your car and expect it to start. When it does you think nothing of it, when it doesn’t it’s the end of the world. You keep turning the key and it eventually fires, it’s the best feeling ever, but it’s only taken you back to the position you were originally in of having a running engine.
It’s natural to strive for more, but stopping to take stock is invaluable.
Bob-iylho said:
as you get older, you realise life has a nasty habit of kicking you in the bks. Quite often the "kick in the bks" doesn't give a st how wealthy you are, and you realise that having money is totally irrelevant.
Just be as happy as possible, if you're happy you've made it.
Exactly life is so up & down , family , health , grown children emigrating , you soon realise material things equal white noise...ks. Quite often the "kick in the bks" doesn't give a st how wealthy you are, and you realise that having money is totally irrelevant.Just be as happy as possible, if you're happy you've made it.
Edited by Bob-iylho on Saturday 2nd March 18:44
Edited by Bob-iylho on Saturday 2nd March 18:45
bristolbaron said:
MikeM6 said:
We all quickly normalise where we currently are at. If you are used to a good income, it will feel normal and not as impressive as it was at the start.
Every day you go out to your car and expect it to start. When it does you think nothing of it, when it doesn’t it’s the end of the world. You keep turning the key and it eventually fires, it’s the best feeling ever, but it’s only taken you back to the position you were originally in of having a running engine.
It’s natural to strive for more, but stopping to take stock is invaluable.
Congrats OP, you sound like you're in a great position. I can completely relate to your position and your feelings of always wanting more in life, things you can and things you can't buy. Time is the only thing most of us want more of, the rest of it beyond a comfortable existence is just excess.
I appreciate the replies. I'm not sure I got my points across quite right. I'm heavily dyslexic so don't always get things on paper quite right.
I don't know how to explain it. It's not that I don't have enough money. Or I'm comparing to others. Its the fact I can't see I'm doing ok.
It's ok to be ambitious. I don't have an issue with that. It the fact that if I look at it objectively written down I can see I'm doing ok. Things are good. But I don't feel like it, at all I feel like I can do better or push harder all the time.
I'm already one of the hardest working people I know. (I'm not bigging myself up, my wife quite rightly has made me take time of an actively trying to Keep my work within a working day , she's been amazing with me)
I don't know how to explain it. It's not that I don't have enough money. Or I'm comparing to others. Its the fact I can't see I'm doing ok.
It's ok to be ambitious. I don't have an issue with that. It the fact that if I look at it objectively written down I can see I'm doing ok. Things are good. But I don't feel like it, at all I feel like I can do better or push harder all the time.
I'm already one of the hardest working people I know. (I'm not bigging myself up, my wife quite rightly has made me take time of an actively trying to Keep my work within a working day , she's been amazing with me)
knk said:
Will make the time to have a look thanks Bob-iylho said:
as you get older, you realise life has a nasty habit of kicking you in the bks. Quite often the "kick in the bks" doesn't give a st how wealthy you are, and you realise that having money is totally irrelevant.
Just be as happy as possible, if you're happy you've made it.
Kinda the point of the post. Statistically I'm doing great. But mentally in a street kid hustling for my next meal. ks. Quite often the "kick in the bks" doesn't give a st how wealthy you are, and you realise that having money is totally irrelevant.Just be as happy as possible, if you're happy you've made it.
Edited by Bob-iylho on Saturday 2nd March 18:44
Edited by Bob-iylho on Saturday 2nd March 18:45
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