WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

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Simpo Two

Original Poster:

85,521 posts

266 months

Monday 4th March
quotequote all
Possibly been done before but I found this in the archives from a friend in the RAF:



'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
- US.Air Force Manual

The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you.
-Basic Flight Training Manual-

'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- Naval Ops Manual -

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
-Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
-Unknown Author-

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
- Fixed Wing Pilot-


'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
-Multi-Engine Training Manual-

'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'
-Unknown Author-

'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'
If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'
-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-


'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'
-Sign over Control Tower Door-

'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
-Basic Flight Training Manual-

'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'
- Emergency Checklist-

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) -

'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ-

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.' - Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.
The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks,'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

Hard-Drive

4,090 posts

230 months

Monday 4th March
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Haha brilliant!!!!

DickyC

49,800 posts

199 months

Monday 4th March
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The Seagull outboard motor user manual in the 1960s advised first taking your boat and new outboard somewhere quiet to practice.

I've used variations of this 'dont try it publicly first time' advice ever since.

louiechevy

645 posts

194 months

Monday 4th March
quotequote all
Many years ago working at a petrol station on an Army camp we had a bomb disposal team to a suspect car, the team leader was wearing a T-shirt with "I'm a Bomb disposal expert" on the front and "If you see me running try to keep up" on the back.

Simpo Two

Original Poster:

85,521 posts

266 months

Monday 4th March
quotequote all
US Army training Sgt: 'After you pull the pin Mr. Grenade is no longer our friend'.

Tony1963

4,786 posts

163 months

Monday 4th March
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“Loosely tighten the nut on the bolt…”

Apache attack helicopter maintenance manual.

ferret50

925 posts

10 months

Monday 4th March
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Sign on a hire vehicle in the USA;

Items viewed in this mirror are actually behind you.

On a baby stroller in Walmark;

Remove child BEFORE folding

jinkster

2,248 posts

157 months

Tuesday 5th March
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ETOPS - Engines Turning or Passengers Swimming

easyhome

180 posts

124 months

Wednesday 6th March
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louiechevy said:
Many years ago working at a petrol station on an Army camp we had a bomb disposal team to a suspect car, the team leader was wearing a T-shirt with "I'm a Bomb disposal expert" on the front and "If you see me running try to keep up" on the back.
Not the same but as far as military t-shirts go I think the best I've ever seen was a guy I met at work for the first time (railway) who had a maroon t-shirt with "God was a paratrooper" on the front. So I'm thinking 'ah, ex-para', until he turned around and I saw "He failed the Commando tests" on the back!

Ganglandboss

8,308 posts

204 months

Wednesday 6th March
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I always liked this one from my rebreather manual.


Simpo Two

Original Poster:

85,521 posts

266 months

Wednesday 6th March
quotequote all
Ganglandboss said:
I always liked this one from my rebreather manual.

It's good to know that if you don't understand the implications you'll be OK... ignorance is power!

LimaDelta

6,530 posts

219 months

Wednesday 6th March
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From an F-86 Sabre combat manual 'No guts, no glory'

CouncilFerrari

551 posts

58 months

Wednesday 6th March
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easyhome said:
louiechevy said:
Many years ago working at a petrol station on an Army camp we had a bomb disposal team to a suspect car, the team leader was wearing a T-shirt with "I'm a Bomb disposal expert" on the front and "If you see me running try to keep up" on the back.
Not the same but as far as military t-shirts go I think the best I've ever seen was a guy I met at work for the first time (railway) who had a maroon t-shirt with "God was a paratrooper" on the front. So I'm thinking 'ah, ex-para', until he turned around and I saw "He failed the Commando tests" on the back!
On the same theme, I knew a combat medic who had a T-shirt that said 'All bleeding stops, eventually'.

MBBlat

1,636 posts

150 months

Wednesday 6th March
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Correct, cheap, quick - pick only two.

CaiosH

1,301 posts

227 months

Thursday 7th March
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Off topic, but always make me laugh when I think about it. I once read the following written on a condom machine in a pub toilet;


"Insert baby for refund"



GliderRider

2,113 posts

82 months

Saturday 16th March
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CaiosH said:
Off topic, but always make me laugh when I think about it. I once read the following written on a condom machine in a pub toilet;


"Insert baby for refund"
or,

"Buy me and stop one"