Two executors, one not playing ball

[Grumble75]

Slight throwaway username, because you never know.

Simply....
Our parent died, no spouse.
Owned their own house.
Owed about 30k on mortgage, 10k in CC, loans, catalogues etc.
Only the two us are the executors of the very simple will, both as benificiarys.
Probate applied for under both names.
House on the market. My sibling has decided that actually they quite like living there rent free/ mortgage free, and is now refusing to sell.

My options?

Try and get them removed from probate application?
They are not in a position to buy me out, and likely never will be.
I could buy them out, but they still won't sell. Would hinder me buying a bigger house for my family that we desperately need.

Could they stay there as long as they want?

Any help greatfully received, thank you.

[anonymous-user]

The sensible answer is seek legal advice. Look for a firm with a decent family department and any specialist badges for that kind of work. It'll be more useful than anything you'll find out here.

[Grumble75]

I thought that may well be the answer, and I certainly shall be seeking some.

Curious if any other posters had been in a similar position?

[Muzzer79]

Your sibling is going against the wishes specified in the will. This is even worse as an executor.

A colleague had this with his sister and brother. Neither lived in the parent’s house, but just refused to do anything with it for sentimental reasons.

He had to get legal intervention to force them into acting as per the will. You need to do the same.

[AndrewCrown]

Grumble

As stated, go to a good family solicitor tomorrow.
Get it all done properly, yes there will be a fee, but it will save you a lot of money and hassle in the long term.

What I can say is death and grieving bring out the most unexpected behaviours.

[Panamax]

Grumble75 said:

My sibling has decided that actually they quite like living there rent free/ mortgage free, and is now refusing to sell.

Are you saying he/she lived with the deceased as carer? If so it won't look good at all if you just rock up to kick 'em out and pocket half the cash.

Proceed with caution, and appropriate legal advice. Sounds potentially messy.

Question: If they offered to pay your 50% of a market rent how would you respond?

[Grumble75]

Panamax said:

Are you saying he/she lived with the deceased as carer? If so it won't look good at all if you just rock up to kick 'em out and pocket half the cash.

Proceed with caution, and appropriate legal advice. Sounds potentially messy.

Question: If they offered to pay your 50% of a market rent how would you respond?

Nothing like a carer element.

Sibling used to live in our grandparents house after they passed, rent free for five years. And still hadn't figured out (or be bothered to try), to find somewhere, until the day the house sold, so ended up back with our parent. And has been there for a year now.

All while earning 6/7k a month (PH powerfully built director), and have zero accounts / accountant.

I've sought some legal advice this morning, will see how that proceeds.

To answer the question, I wouldn't via the rent, no.
They have a history of being the least proactive person I know, quite happy to just exist and get stoned during their time off. I would fully expect to be in the same situation in two years if that happened.

Many thanks for all the replies.

[KobayashiMaru86]

Going through this with Dad's estate now. No will but only me and my brother. He agreed I should handle it all as he lives away so I'm the Admin. This also means I'm doing 95% of the clearing and tidy. I'm 70 black bags of rubbish in already but am keeping the stuff that's irreplaceable, photos, mementos I want and I know my brother will. But Brother being distant from it, doesn't want to know. Now and again he'd pipe up wanting say some things but it's hard work and I'm limited it a few hours on a weekend. He's still not decided if he wants us to sell or not, although legally it's up to me to split the estate and it needs too much work for him to take on and he'd need a new job near home.

[Grumble75]

Sounds exactly like my situation.
Other than the sibling in the house, refusing to move.

"I'm going to make it difficult for you", were his words.

[eliot]

I always feared my brother would move into my parents house when they passed - thankfully it never happened, but it seemed a likely scenario for a while.

[Pit Pony]

Grumble75 said:

Sounds exactly like my situation.
Other than the sibling in the house, refusing to move.

"I'm going to make it difficult for you", were his words.

The correct response is (sarcastically)

"Yes, I'm absolutely sure that's what mum and dad wanted you to do. Please make my life as difficult as you can, for no reason whatsoever, as they will be looking down at you from heaven, so very proud of the way you are acting"

[StuTheGrouch]

Grumble75 said:

Sounds exactly like my situation.
Other than the sibling in the house, refusing to move.

"I'm going to make it difficult for you", were his words.

Why are they acting like this?

[VeeReihenmotor6]

My wife has a situation similar to yours OP when the time comes. Her Mum died 10 years ago, leaving her Dad. Before this happened they moved the house into 50/50 shares and my wife's Mum's part was put into Trust for my wife but her Dad has tennants rights over it for the rest of his days. No idea what her Dad plans with his share.

All good so far however her Dad got into a relationship with his Cleaner, she's only a few years older than my wife, and she semi lives in the house (her furniture, belongings and son's car are all in the house). She has kept her council house up the road where she also lives with her boyfriend. She has promised to look after my wife's Dad if he ever needs any help and my wife's Dad has made noises about leaving it to her. In my wife's Dad's eyes he just wants a plan to stay in the house he has lived all his life and doesn't care about relationship stuff. I can understand that.

It is without doubt in my mind once my wife's Dad passes (he's 80, cleaner is 51) she will be living in the house and we'll have a hell of a job to extract my wife's 50% share.

We live 8 hours drive away, her Dad has been unhappy with my wife since she was 18 as she left her local job at Tesco to persure a career in Nursing. It is his view that my wife should be at home to look after him.

[Grumble75]

Pit Pony said:

The correct response is (sarcastically)

"Yes, I'm absolutely sure that's what mum and dad wanted you to do. Please make my life as difficult as you can, for no reason whatsoever, as they will be looking down at you from heaven, so very proud of the way you are acting"

It's definitely working towards that.
I've tried to be calm and reasonable, despite the quite frankly disgusting abuse, and threats of "keep the fk outta my way"

[Grumble75]

StuTheGrouch said:

Why are they acting like this?

They live there free, and 'need time' to find somewhere to live. Despite my explaining that even if a house offer is accepted today, it'll be months and months before they have to move. Apparently even six months is not enough time.
I suspect mainly because they are great at procrastinating at anything in life. I can't even get them to phone up and take over the energy bill, whilst I'm paying buildings insurance!
Now it's just digging heels in and being stubborn, for the sake of it.
'Cut off your nose to spite your face', couldn't be more apt.

[Grumble75]

VeeReihenmotor6 said:

My wife has a situation similar to yours OP when the time comes. Her Mum died 10 years ago, leaving her Dad. Before this happened they moved the house into 50/50 shares and my wife's Mum's part was put into Trust for my wife but her Dad has tennants rights over it for the rest of his days. No idea what her Dad plans with his share.

All good so far however her Dad got into a relationship with his Cleaner, she's only a few years older than my wife, and she semi lives in the house (her furniture, belongings and son's car are all in the house). She has kept her council house up the road where she also lives with her boyfriend. She has promised to look after my wife's Dad if he ever needs any help and my wife's Dad has made noises about leaving it to her. In my wife's Dad's eyes he just wants a plan to stay in the house he has lived all his life and doesn't care about relationship stuff. I can understand that.

It is without doubt in my mind once my wife's Dad passes (he's 80, cleaner is 51) she will be living in the house and we'll have a hell of a job to extract my wife's 50% share.

We live 8 hours drive away, her Dad has been unhappy with my wife since she was 18 as she left her local job at Tesco to persure a career in Nursing. It is his view that my wife should be at home to look after him.

That sounds like and even worse situation!
I feel for you on this.

[Freakuk]

I've read this and the replies. It's a terrible situation you find yourself in OP, I've seen similar a few times unfortunately over the years and it never seems to end well unfortunately.

I don't have any constructive advice other than get yourself some legal advice (obviously) and I wish it can go smoothly for you.

[anonymous-user]

Do you have a key to gain access the house? I can't imagine ever getting into this situation with my brother, but if someone was behaving in this confrontational way towards me, and they were effectively denying my family the opportunity to move to a better home by withholding my half of the property, then I would make sure they got back exactly what they were serving up, until their attitude changed. That would mean I would do my best to ensure they didn't have a comfortable option to live in the house hassle free.

[Grumble75]

EddieSteadyGo said:

Do you have a key to gain access the house? I can't imagine ever getting into this situation with my brother, but if someone was behaving in this confrontational way towards me, and they were effectively denying my family the opportunity to move to a better home by withholding my half of the property, then I would make sure they got back exactly what they were serving up, until their attitude changed. That would mean I would do my best to ensure they didn't have a comfortable option to live in the house hassle free.

Yep have a key. Access is no issue, and unless they change the locks, shouldn't be.
Didn't imagine we'd be in this situation. We've always got on very well, despite their feckless attitude to life. It's never been a direct issue for mine and my family's life, until now.
Life can be made difficult for them, but probably not as difficult as refusing to do anything about the home.

[hidetheelephants]

As they're so feckless are they legally tenants? If not wait until they pop out for milk, change the locks and put their belongings on the front step, along with a generous offer to run them to a hotel you've booked a room in.