Moving Schools in year 10 (by choice)
Discussion
When my daughter started secondary school we sent her to a school in a different county (we lived right on the boundary - and within catchment). She was captivated by the school when we walked around at an open evening. All her friends went to a local school that doesn't have the best reputation. The new school she would not know anybody. The school is highly regarded and academically it looked better on paper.
She started secondary school in covid, masks etc and it must have been tough even though she's usually a friendly sociable person. The intake is largely from the town's big primary and there's a big group of girls - some of whom are obviously unpleasant, same as any school and then the others. My daughter made a friend quite early, the friend coming from a school where she would have known people but didn't seem to have friends. There's now a little group of three of them, but they can be quite unpleasant. I've told her to ditch them - but I can see how having no friends is more scary than having two scabby friends.
She was predicted fours and fives in her GCSEs. But after a mock - one of her grades is now predicted as a 2! She didn't finish the exam as she writes horrendously slowly. We've said this all along and the school are making it difficult - wanting to involve all levels of diagnosis, special need officers, doctors etc. My son also writes slowly and was given a laptop for long-form exams (albeit a different/grammar school and is a straight A student).
Over the years she has said that I should move her and I (probably wrongly) told her to knuckle down and get on with it. My wife spoke to the school about our concerns for her socially - and, rather than someone suitable calling to speak to us, her form tutor pulled her out of class and said "I understand you're having friendship problems" she had no idea we'd spoken to the school. She shut him down. I was horrified.
Recently it's been very tough and, out of interest I applied to the county for an in-year transfer. I thought I'd see if it was possible before we even had conversations about it - and it is. There is a space at the school where all her friends from primary went - granted some will be distant now, others she is still very good friends with. She will 'know' lots of people - even if not friends with them all.
It probably couldn't be worse timing, as next year is GCSE year. We have a meeting at the 'new' school on Monday, if she accepts she'll start a week later. It's a lot of pressure for a 15 year old - and I want it to be her decision. She is taking it seriously and is listing the pros and cons and not just a desire to move. Maybe her current school will stand up and pay attention once they get wind of a potential move, who knows and why should it take that.
Am I mad to consider moving her?
As it stands she's probably going to flunk her exams and is pretty isolated socially. If even one of those things change then it'll be a good move. I can't see how it can be any worse, but my wife (works at a primary!) is very torn. A head with secondary experience has said she doesn't recall any year 10 transfers being positive.
Fully expecting the "you're a bad parent / should have moved her years ago" etc posts, but I'd appreciate any thoughts - or if anyone has done/considered anything similar.
She started secondary school in covid, masks etc and it must have been tough even though she's usually a friendly sociable person. The intake is largely from the town's big primary and there's a big group of girls - some of whom are obviously unpleasant, same as any school and then the others. My daughter made a friend quite early, the friend coming from a school where she would have known people but didn't seem to have friends. There's now a little group of three of them, but they can be quite unpleasant. I've told her to ditch them - but I can see how having no friends is more scary than having two scabby friends.
She was predicted fours and fives in her GCSEs. But after a mock - one of her grades is now predicted as a 2! She didn't finish the exam as she writes horrendously slowly. We've said this all along and the school are making it difficult - wanting to involve all levels of diagnosis, special need officers, doctors etc. My son also writes slowly and was given a laptop for long-form exams (albeit a different/grammar school and is a straight A student).
Over the years she has said that I should move her and I (probably wrongly) told her to knuckle down and get on with it. My wife spoke to the school about our concerns for her socially - and, rather than someone suitable calling to speak to us, her form tutor pulled her out of class and said "I understand you're having friendship problems" she had no idea we'd spoken to the school. She shut him down. I was horrified.
Recently it's been very tough and, out of interest I applied to the county for an in-year transfer. I thought I'd see if it was possible before we even had conversations about it - and it is. There is a space at the school where all her friends from primary went - granted some will be distant now, others she is still very good friends with. She will 'know' lots of people - even if not friends with them all.
It probably couldn't be worse timing, as next year is GCSE year. We have a meeting at the 'new' school on Monday, if she accepts she'll start a week later. It's a lot of pressure for a 15 year old - and I want it to be her decision. She is taking it seriously and is listing the pros and cons and not just a desire to move. Maybe her current school will stand up and pay attention once they get wind of a potential move, who knows and why should it take that.
Am I mad to consider moving her?
As it stands she's probably going to flunk her exams and is pretty isolated socially. If even one of those things change then it'll be a good move. I can't see how it can be any worse, but my wife (works at a primary!) is very torn. A head with secondary experience has said she doesn't recall any year 10 transfers being positive.
Fully expecting the "you're a bad parent / should have moved her years ago" etc posts, but I'd appreciate any thoughts - or if anyone has done/considered anything similar.
You say if she stays she is going to fail her exams & won't have any meaningful friends - how could moving make things worse? She might still fail but at least you & she tried something to improve the situation.
How about moving & getting her some tutoring to boost her chances in the exams?
How about moving & getting her some tutoring to boost her chances in the exams?
Moved my son schools. It must have been year 6 or 7. We had moved house and while he could continue at his original school it was a chore to get him there and back. He never quite liked his new primary school. Although he has never struggled academically or with friends in or around school it has remained one of my biggest regrets in life. Thankfully he only had a year or 2 before going to secondary school. Given the choice again I would leave him at the original school. Granted this doesn't echo the issues you are having with the current school I would be wary of chopping to another school.
We looked at doing this for our son and were shocked to find that even schools in the same borough will be focussed on different GCSE exam boards. So by Yr10 the syllabus even between neighbouring schools can vary wildly, depending on what exam board the school is affiliated to. So make sure you check that out
We looked at doing this for our son and were shocked find that even schools in the same borough will be focussed on different GCSE exam boards. So by Yr10 the syllabus even between neighbouring calls can vary wildly, depending on what exam board the school is affiliated to. So make sure you check that out 👍🏻
We're under no illusions it would be hard work if she moved. We have lots of questions for the new school including how they (& us) can support her with a move and her exams and they seem keen to make it work (based on a few initial exchanges). Tutoring likely required, along with a lot of hard work - she knows this. For all its faults, the school with her friends has a good reputation supporting additional needs and I mentioned on the transfer that we would seek support for the slow hand-writing.
Her mum moved into the area at a similar age and found it hard at a new school (not either of these) - but knew no one, it's the opposite (socially) for our daughter.
Her mum moved into the area at a similar age and found it hard at a new school (not either of these) - but knew no one, it's the opposite (socially) for our daughter.
I also have a daughter in year 10. In your shoes, I would do the same as you. I would go along with her decision to move if that was what she chose to do. At her age, the change has to be self motivated. The change might be exactly what she needs. I have always had the opinion that I would support my children if they wanted to leave their school. I moved from a school I hated to one I loved in year 9 and it turned my life around.
Sounds like a move would do her good even just from the social side. Does the new school know about the slow writing thing and have something in place that could help with that? Given whats gone on already with the current school and how they've dealt with things, I doubt they'll give two hoots about her leaving...
The school would possibly want your daughter to be assessed to see if she had any sort of 'special' needs that was causing her slow writing. As they can put measures in place to help her if any are identified.
My son is just doing his mock GCSE exams, and as he is dyslexic he gets 25% extra time in which to complete them, and they are taken in a seperate room from the other candidates.
He's a bright kid, but writing and reading takes him longer than if he didn't have it. He was offered the choice of either extra time, or he could have someone read out the questions to him in the standard length exam.
My son is just doing his mock GCSE exams, and as he is dyslexic he gets 25% extra time in which to complete them, and they are taken in a seperate room from the other candidates.
He's a bright kid, but writing and reading takes him longer than if he didn't have it. He was offered the choice of either extra time, or he could have someone read out the questions to him in the standard length exam.
Had a walk round the new school today with the year & deputy heads. Given confirmation daughter would be in a form with a known friend, her GCSE subjects are all available to drop into. The deputy year head thought we may have been better applying to start in September - but I think the last four weeks of term with trips and 'fun' days might help her settle in (plus no guarantee there would be a place still).
I suppose the school don't technically get a say if county council have offered a place, but they seemed really keen to make it work. Business studies we needed to confirm the exam board (as some coursework contributes to exam - but it's the same). All the teachers we passed in corridors said hello, the principal stopping to ask about our daughter - which didn't seem staged. A few kids shouted out hello to my wife (works at a local primary), I half-hoped some would recognise my daughter too, but it's mocks so the year 10 students aren't in class. She will know loads of kids there - it's our town school. For all its faults it can't be at lot worse.
Took a copy of her report and mock results. They followed up very promptly with a call to confirm subjects (as one was unconfirmed an hour before).
New school would provide a laptop straight away for exams to help with the slow hand-writing (subject to a minimum speed touch-type test). Plus some additional testing the end of this year to establish where she needs to be in maths & English etc (top set or whatever).
My daughter I think has decided she wants to move, I support this but my wife is not so keen - and she works in a school.
I suppose the school don't technically get a say if county council have offered a place, but they seemed really keen to make it work. Business studies we needed to confirm the exam board (as some coursework contributes to exam - but it's the same). All the teachers we passed in corridors said hello, the principal stopping to ask about our daughter - which didn't seem staged. A few kids shouted out hello to my wife (works at a local primary), I half-hoped some would recognise my daughter too, but it's mocks so the year 10 students aren't in class. She will know loads of kids there - it's our town school. For all its faults it can't be at lot worse.
Took a copy of her report and mock results. They followed up very promptly with a call to confirm subjects (as one was unconfirmed an hour before).
New school would provide a laptop straight away for exams to help with the slow hand-writing (subject to a minimum speed touch-type test). Plus some additional testing the end of this year to establish where she needs to be in maths & English etc (top set or whatever).
My daughter I think has decided she wants to move, I support this but my wife is not so keen - and she works in a school.
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