Who do you envy?
Author
Discussion

Skeptisk

Original Poster:

8,897 posts

133 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
Envy is a very negative emotion so probably something best kept to a minimum. Saying that…are there people that you do envy?

I am a bit envious of people that are good socially. I am introverted and a bit socially awkward and don’t naturally make strong connections with people (I do have some but only with family and close friends).

I think the main area of envy related to weight. I have struggled with it all of my adult life. I have never been really fat. Mostly I yo yo between being ok (BMI less than 25) and a bit overweight. However to maintain my weight I have to be unreasonably strict. I see some people at work who have three meals a day, snack, eat the cake and confectionery that is always left around and go out boozing yet they remain thin (there are those who do that and are fat of course!) I wish I could just eat and drink what I liked without it immediately turning into fat.

StevieBee

14,889 posts

279 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
My Dad always used to say there's always two sides to a story. He was bang on. One may look at another with envious eyes but scratch the surface and you will always find something that changes your perception.

Some years back, I got to know a very wealthy chap - a client of the company I worked for. He'd just sold one of his businesses which netted him £40m. My educated guess was he had a nett worth of around £70m. Outwardly - he had it all; the cars, the houses, the boats, the looks. Odd then that he revealed to me once that he genuinely envied me!

He'd been married three times. Had two grown up sons he hadn't seen or been part of their life for over 10 years. Had no mates and had developed a social insecurity that prevented him making any - always suspicious of those with whom he started to become close with. He had amassed all this wealth yet had absolutely nobody to share it or his life with. He suffered from what at the time was quite a debilitating depression.

Envy is a negative emotion. It can also be damaging if you lack the ability to match whatever it is you are envious about and not everyone can.

Jealously's a bit different. If mate revealed that he's won a full, access-all areas paddock pass and hospitality for the Grand Prix this weekend, I'd be very Jealous. But I wouldn't envy him, good on him...... the spawny bd! smile


greygoose

9,403 posts

219 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
I used to envy some people but you realise it is a bit pointless in the end, everyone has their own flaws and insecurities you just have to cope with them and have some acceptance. You can’t change genetics so try and see the positives and do things you like doing.

toasty

8,226 posts

244 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
I met Bruno Senna once. Lovely guy, really friendly, money, talent, good looking and young.

I’m happy with my lot but did turn a little green around the gills.

anonymous-user

78 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
Anyone with perfect health and middle aged or older.
Otherwise, i'm okay with my lot in life, as i've got older i've realised that chasing an impossible dream is just that, impossible. So i am happy with what i have and i wont miss what i've never had

okgo

41,567 posts

222 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say.

LastPoster

3,149 posts

207 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
I’m not envious of any specific person or people

The thing I am envious of is some people’s ability to take much more risk career wise than me and reap the rewards as a result. I have worked with quite a few people who aren’t hugely more capable than me but were prepared to give a go and have done well as a result.

It’s a regret now but I’m at a point in my career when the risk/effort isn’t worth the reward any more.I’ve done ok though so not particularly bitter about it

Louis Balfour

28,176 posts

246 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
Skeptisk said:
Envy is a very negative emotion so probably something best kept to a minimum. Saying that…are there people that you do envy?

I am a bit envious of people that are good socially. I am introverted and a bit socially awkward and don’t naturally make strong connections with people (I do have some but only with family and close friends).

I think the main area of envy related to weight. I have struggled with it all of my adult life. I have never been really fat. Mostly I yo yo between being ok (BMI less than 25) and a bit overweight. However to maintain my weight I have to be unreasonably strict. I see some people at work who have three meals a day, snack, eat the cake and confectionery that is always left around and go out boozing yet they remain thin (there are those who do that and are fat of course!) I wish I could just eat and drink what I liked without it immediately turning into fat.
Have you considered Weight Watchers? You'll get to meet like-minded people and keep the flab down. You'll potentially deal with both your concerns in one fell swoop.




President Merkin

4,297 posts

43 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
I envy no one. Contentment comes from within.

Discendo Discimus

879 posts

56 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
I compare myself to people all the time, usually those who are wealthy or are in better shape than me. But they probably don't get to spend as much time with their family as I do, either because they're slaving away at work or in the gym all evening. so I don't dwell on it too much.

There are two kinds of people that I truly envy though, those who have found a career doing something they are interested in and genuinely enjoy, and those kids you see pulling perfect, near vertical wheelies on their mountain bikes. I've never been able to wheelie (I can ride a unicycle so you'd think there would be some transferable skills but no).


Edited by Discendo Discimus on Friday 5th July 11:34

Riley Blue

22,959 posts

250 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
Simple question, simple answer: no one.

Gary29

4,925 posts

123 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
People who are financially secure AND time rich, it's difficult to be both, especially when relatively young.

Radec

5,418 posts

71 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
No-one.

There will always be someone better off than you and someone worse off than you.

Be happy with what you have and strive to do the best you can.

Pebbles167

4,464 posts

176 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
I have flashes of envy all the time. See someone with a nice car, nice house, material goods etc. Lasts for a few seconds, then I consider my life and realise I'm happy as I've got it good, and have lots to look forward to.

It's actually quite useful since it makes me think positively of my own situation often.

Dohnut

661 posts

70 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
Men with hair.


RayDonovan

5,734 posts

239 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
No-one really. Most people have positive and negative aspects of their life.

I'm very happy with my lot in life, job, car, family etc. All the people I know that may have a better car, house or job generally have a compromise somewhere that I wouldn't or couldn't accept personally.

BigGingerBob

2,107 posts

214 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
I go through phases of being envious of people.
It probably doesn't help that the majority of people I went to school and uni with are all pretty successful while I have made some slightly unusual career decisions leaving me in effectively a trainee position at 32. But then I remember that I love the town I live in and have a beautiful wife, daughter and dog.

More money would make things a lot easier though.

Louis Balfour

28,176 posts

246 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
BigGingerBob said:
I go through phases of being envious of people.
It probably doesn't help that the majority of people I went to school and uni with are all pretty successful while I have made some slightly unusual career decisions leaving me in effectively a trainee position at 32. But then I remember that I love the town I live in and have a beautiful wife, daughter and dog.

More money would make things a lot easier though.
I was thirty-five when I started my first business. You’re only a puppy.




President Merkin

4,297 posts

43 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
Discendo Discimus said:
those kids you see pulling perfect, near vertical wheelies on their mountain bikes. I've never been able to wheelie (I can ride a unicycle so you'd think there would be some transferable skills but no).
I'll concede that one. That's dead right hehe

Skii

1,891 posts

215 months

Friday 5th July 2024
quotequote all
Anyone under 30