Child Maintenance eligibility
Discussion
Hoping someone might be able to aid my understanding of when I am eligible to stop paying. I am going to call the CMS later but as I see it;
I have 2 lads, one 16 left school and continuing education at college in September - lives with his mam most of the time so that's straightforward.
Before I continue, there is a lot of background and history here and I am not trying to shirk responsibility as a father! Been paying CMS for 6 years now.
However, my other child is 17, nearly 18 and has finished school and had a year at college doing resits and some foundation course thing, which achieved no qualification or certificate at the end.
When I look at the criteria for what constitutes approved learning to make CM payments mandatory, it says, A levels, Lev 3 or equivalent. What he was doing doesn't seem to fit that criteria and he doesn't want to go to college in September, would rather get a job or something, but he is undecided. In the meantime I have been looking at what I should have been paying, because I don't think I should be paying the mother. The son regularly stays with me and the court order is basically now redundant as they are over 16. That said the CMS will use arrangements as a basis for organising payment amounts.
Basically, I appear to be the only one out of the two of us to be putting away for the children, and trying to help plan their futures - so any money saved is more money I can put their way. the eldest's CTF matures soon so I am going to sort that too. the mother takes his PIP payments too and says she needs that to live on (which is absolute BS), but what can I do?
Anyone been in a similar position as this?
TIA
I have 2 lads, one 16 left school and continuing education at college in September - lives with his mam most of the time so that's straightforward.
Before I continue, there is a lot of background and history here and I am not trying to shirk responsibility as a father! Been paying CMS for 6 years now.
However, my other child is 17, nearly 18 and has finished school and had a year at college doing resits and some foundation course thing, which achieved no qualification or certificate at the end.
When I look at the criteria for what constitutes approved learning to make CM payments mandatory, it says, A levels, Lev 3 or equivalent. What he was doing doesn't seem to fit that criteria and he doesn't want to go to college in September, would rather get a job or something, but he is undecided. In the meantime I have been looking at what I should have been paying, because I don't think I should be paying the mother. The son regularly stays with me and the court order is basically now redundant as they are over 16. That said the CMS will use arrangements as a basis for organising payment amounts.
Basically, I appear to be the only one out of the two of us to be putting away for the children, and trying to help plan their futures - so any money saved is more money I can put their way. the eldest's CTF matures soon so I am going to sort that too. the mother takes his PIP payments too and says she needs that to live on (which is absolute BS), but what can I do?
Anyone been in a similar position as this?
TIA
Not sure I totally follow. Is it the soon to be 18 year old that gets PIP? If so do they have an EHCP which means they can stay in education until the are 25 if the EHCP continues which means you could be paying for some time still.
It's a situation I am in currently that my now 18 years old is at college, has an EHCP so maintenance I believe should be be paid until they either get a job, apprenticeship or turn 25. Anyone who can confirm/deny this would be appreciated.
It's a situation I am in currently that my now 18 years old is at college, has an EHCP so maintenance I believe should be be paid until they either get a job, apprenticeship or turn 25. Anyone who can confirm/deny this would be appreciated.
solo2 said:
Not sure I totally follow. Is it the soon to be 18 year old that gets PIP? If so do they have an EHCP which means they can stay in education until the are 25 if the EHCP continues which means you could be paying for some time still.
It's a situation I am in currently that my now 18 years old is at college, has an EHCP so maintenance I believe should be be paid until they either get a job, apprenticeship or turn 25. Anyone who can confirm/deny this would be appreciated.
My lad doesn't have a EHCP (I have just had to read up on what that is!). He has Asperger's so ASD and he gets PIP for that, but his mother takes it all apparently. I am considering reporting her for financial abuse to be honest because trust me, she doesn't need to use all that to support her lifestyle. She just chooses to. It's a situation I am in currently that my now 18 years old is at college, has an EHCP so maintenance I believe should be be paid until they either get a job, apprenticeship or turn 25. Anyone who can confirm/deny this would be appreciated.
Re; maintenance, if they are in approved education (which as I have discovered surmounts to just about any supervised training over 12hrs a week,) this can be paid up until they are 20. Never heard about the 25 rule.
CMS confirmed as he is 17 and that he left college only last month, CM payment is applicable until 2 September (cut off) or if he enrols at college again as above, payments continue.
It's a complete racket because, there is no control over what the money is used for. The system assumes everyone is a 'good parent'
I would avoid mentioning anything until September to see what your son does. If he gets a job great, if he enrolls in another course you'd rather it was out of genuine interest and intent than the ex motivating him to sign up to anything to keep payments coming in. Next thing you know he'll be signed on a token part-time home-based course so she continues to collect.
What court order expired when they are 16? Seems strange any order would be structured in such a way.
On the PIP thing are the payments made to your son direct? Does she have control over his bank account?
What court order expired when they are 16? Seems strange any order would be structured in such a way.
On the PIP thing are the payments made to your son direct? Does she have control over his bank account?
theboss said:
I would avoid mentioning anything until September to see what your son does. If he gets a job great, if he enrolls in another course you'd rather it was out of genuine interest and intent than the ex motivating him to sign up to anything to keep payments coming in. Next thing you know he'll be signed on a token part-time home-based course so she continues to collect.
What court order expired when they are 16? Seems strange any order would be structured in such a way.
On the PIP thing are the payments made to your son direct? Does she have control over his bank account?
I think that may be too late... She already suspected September and she made him do this crappy course last year. It was a foundation course in 'life skills' which in his words he found pointless. But he was resitting GCSEs anyway so would have been classed as in full time education. What court order expired when they are 16? Seems strange any order would be structured in such a way.
On the PIP thing are the payments made to your son direct? Does she have control over his bank account?
the court order basically says that once the children are 16, they are old enough to make their own decisions, so unless there are exceptional circumstances (there aren't), this wouldn't be enforced. SO it is up to the lads how often they stay with me. But I surmise she is still the 'living with' parent.
She has set up a bank account, I don't know where the money goes to be honest. If I ask him directly, he'll just tell his mother.
Hey man,
I’d give up trying to figure where the money goes. It’ll not do your mind any good trying to figure it out/second guess.
I didn’t even bother trying to figure it out with the mother of my son. We have been separated now for 10 years and I’ve paid every month since. I did have to go the court route for access on a more constant basis, this cost me my relationship with my partner of the time in 2018.
My son goes without when he is with me at the weekends,holidays, birthdays and Christmas.
Out of all of this take away that fact that you’re better than other fathers who don’t even pay £1 to the upkeep of their kids.
I’d give up trying to figure where the money goes. It’ll not do your mind any good trying to figure it out/second guess.
I didn’t even bother trying to figure it out with the mother of my son. We have been separated now for 10 years and I’ve paid every month since. I did have to go the court route for access on a more constant basis, this cost me my relationship with my partner of the time in 2018.
My son goes without when he is with me at the weekends,holidays, birthdays and Christmas.
Out of all of this take away that fact that you’re better than other fathers who don’t even pay £1 to the upkeep of their kids.
Matt p said:
Hey man,
I’d give up trying to figure where the money goes. It’ll not do your mind any good trying to figure it out/second guess.
I didn’t even bother trying to figure it out with the mother of my son. We have been separated now for 10 years and I’ve paid every month since. I did have to go the court route for access on a more constant basis, this cost me my relationship with my partner of the time in 2018.
My son goes without when he is with me at the weekends,holidays, birthdays and Christmas.
Out of all of this take away that fact that you’re better than other fathers who don’t even pay £1 to the upkeep of their kids.
Yea, a good reality check. I just don't like my lad being exploited for his disability... but in reality, I can't do anything about it. What will be will be and I have a new woman who is complete opposite to their mam. She gets about £30 a month for her 2 kids, and he doesn't see them, write to them, nothing! He's the other end of the spectrum and a complete waste of space. Court ruled against access for him.I’d give up trying to figure where the money goes. It’ll not do your mind any good trying to figure it out/second guess.
I didn’t even bother trying to figure it out with the mother of my son. We have been separated now for 10 years and I’ve paid every month since. I did have to go the court route for access on a more constant basis, this cost me my relationship with my partner of the time in 2018.
My son goes without when he is with me at the weekends,holidays, birthdays and Christmas.
Out of all of this take away that fact that you’re better than other fathers who don’t even pay £1 to the upkeep of their kids.
Sheets Tabuer said:
You'll have to pay until they're 18 or 21 if they go to uni.
No way round it, just suck it up.
My ex said she was home schooling, no checks, no proof they just took her word for it and I had to pay.
Incorrect about paying up to 21 if they go to uni. It finishes up to and including A-levels. No way round it, just suck it up.
My ex said she was home schooling, no checks, no proof they just took her word for it and I had to pay.
Of course you should still support them (if possible) when they are at uni, but there is no mandate to do so.
Eligibility
I stopped paying my ex when my daughter went to Uni. Her birthday is at the end of May so I paid my ex a reduced amount between end of May and when my daughter started in September, as a gesture of good will (not that I get any back from her!). I now pay the money that I was paying my ex directly to my daughter to support her whilst she's at Uni.
Sheets Tabuer said:
My mistake, it's up to 20 if doing A levels or equivalent.
I had to pay up to 20.
it's up to the august after they are 18 as long as they are on a vocational course or further education.I had to pay up to 20.
18th birthday September pay until following august
18th birthday June pay until August
Bascially until they finish A-levels, it can be extended past their 19th birthday if they repeat a year of A-levels or on a course that last until then (luckily both of mine did A-levels and then Uni)
Its worth mentioning that although the rules mentioned by other are true, its all dependant on whether the mother (or father) informs Child Benefit that there has been a change. Some RP (Receiving Parents) try it on, in which case you have to put a fraud claim in against Child Benefit.
I'm currently going through it with CMS myself at the moment, as I have my child 50/50 1 week on/1 week off and also have a CAO stating "Lives with both equally"... I'm still paying, because they use Child Benefit as an indicator of who the main parent is. Child benefit cannot be split for 1 child (although some do claim it can be split on a 6 monthly basis).
Sorry to derail the thread, my main comment is the CMS cases are based of the Child Benefit, so if parent does not supply correct information you'll have to contest it etc
Good luck to anyone who has to deal with CMS/DWP!
I'm currently going through it with CMS myself at the moment, as I have my child 50/50 1 week on/1 week off and also have a CAO stating "Lives with both equally"... I'm still paying, because they use Child Benefit as an indicator of who the main parent is. Child benefit cannot be split for 1 child (although some do claim it can be split on a 6 monthly basis).
Sorry to derail the thread, my main comment is the CMS cases are based of the Child Benefit, so if parent does not supply correct information you'll have to contest it etc
Good luck to anyone who has to deal with CMS/DWP!
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