Someone post something to make me laugh
Discussion
Mission accomplished. 
Sailor gets off the boat in Liverpool - been at sea for six months and he's desperate for a shag, trouble is he's lost nearly all his money at cards so he can't afford much in the ladies of the night department.
He tries all the good looking girls and with only a fiver in his pocket draws no luck.
He tries the not so bad, rough and eventually downright ugly but still no luck. He's just about to despair when he spots one last girl who isn't bad and gives it a try.
At first she turns him down flat, but then she notices the trainers he's wearing. " Them Nikes new?" she asks. "Yep" says our sailor proudly, "won em at cards."
She considers for a second, then offers sex for the fiver and the trainers, but stresses that for such a measley bargain the sailor will get no tenderness, no love and no passion.
The sailor quickly agrees and soon the couple are laid down in a dark alley and he's at it like a train.
Minute or so at it and the sailor feels her arms slide slowly around his neck, "aha - tenderness" he smiles to himself and inspired go's at it with increased vigour.
Another minute in and her legs wrap around him and he changes up a gear and gives it all he's got.
Within seconds he hears her go "Arghhhhhhhh!!!" and that does it....he finishes and rolls off delighted with his achievment.
Gathering his breath, he turns to her and says mockingly "I thought you said I'd get no tenderness, passion or love."
She looks at him questioningly and says "what?"
"Come off it he laughs, first the arms round my neck, then the legs wrapped round me, then your scream of passion.."
She replies...
"You soft sod - I was trying your trainers on and the bastards don't fit!"
(Sorry it's late and I've read the Sean Connery thread and it's hard to be original)!
He tries all the good looking girls and with only a fiver in his pocket draws no luck.
He tries the not so bad, rough and eventually downright ugly but still no luck. He's just about to despair when he spots one last girl who isn't bad and gives it a try.
At first she turns him down flat, but then she notices the trainers he's wearing. " Them Nikes new?" she asks. "Yep" says our sailor proudly, "won em at cards."
She considers for a second, then offers sex for the fiver and the trainers, but stresses that for such a measley bargain the sailor will get no tenderness, no love and no passion.
The sailor quickly agrees and soon the couple are laid down in a dark alley and he's at it like a train.
Minute or so at it and the sailor feels her arms slide slowly around his neck, "aha - tenderness" he smiles to himself and inspired go's at it with increased vigour.
Another minute in and her legs wrap around him and he changes up a gear and gives it all he's got.
Within seconds he hears her go "Arghhhhhhhh!!!" and that does it....he finishes and rolls off delighted with his achievment.
Gathering his breath, he turns to her and says mockingly "I thought you said I'd get no tenderness, passion or love."
She looks at him questioningly and says "what?"
"Come off it he laughs, first the arms round my neck, then the legs wrapped round me, then your scream of passion.."
She replies...
"You soft sod - I was trying your trainers on and the bastards don't fit!"
(Sorry it's late and I've read the Sean Connery thread and it's hard to be original)!
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