RE: 2024 Mercedes-AMG G63 | UK Review
RE: 2024 Mercedes-AMG G63 | UK Review
Wednesday 21st August 2024

2024 Mercedes-AMG G63 | UK Review 

Big, silly, heavy, loud. Perfect timing, eh?


Considered from afar, you might be inclined to wonder if Mercedes has lost its way when it comes to satisfying customer demand. The latest four-cylinder C63 E Performance, launched to near-universal consternation, is an obvious example. But in May the firm revealed that it was binning an entire EV platform because the future models that were intended to sit atop it - namely the replacement EQE and EQS - hadn’t got anywhere near Mercedes' projected sales volume in their current format. A symptom of the wider battery-electric slowdown? Sure. But also potentially of a company paying too little attention to what its buyers actually want, rather than blithely hoping to sell them what they might conceivably need. 

Considered from much closer up - i.e. within arm's length of the latest Mercedes-AMG G63, a car that retains both its 585hp 4.0-litre twin-turbo V8 and the self-assurance of a WWE wrestler - and you realise that assessment is probably complete cobblers. The newest variant of the famed Geländewagen, whether you personally like it or not, seems like nothing less than the perfect manifestation of its buyers’ wettest dreams. It is as loud and as able as a helicopter gunship and as swanky and nice-smelling as a Bel Air florist. It attracts the attention of passersby like a Banksy mural and costs the earth to buy and run. You’ll probably hate yourself for liking it. 

Although it’s fair to say that the acceptable window for liking the G63 is larger than ever. If there is a lesson to be drawn from the lacklustre sales performance of models like the EQE and EQS (and let’s assume Mercedes is drawing one) it is that cars devoid of character are hard to like. The modern G-Wagen, partly as a factor of its long heritage and for making no real-world sense when equipped with side exit exhausts, has character gushing from its wing mirrors. Granted, some of this character, when restricted to Kensington High Street, might seem objectionable. But when measured against a neighbour’s VW ID.4 it’s very hard not to drop to your knees and thank goodness that you live in an age where someone can still strap a V8 to a separate chassis and call it gold. 

Which isn’t to suggest that the G-Class isn’t moving with the times. Indeed, this change in generational nomenclature has come about in just six years - prior to that, it took Mercedes the best part of three decades to move its body-on-frame mountain closer to the present day. The main thrust of the recent overhaul has gone into perfecting the Mercedes-Benz G580 with EQ Technology - or the electric G-Wagen to you and me. The early word suggests it’s pretty good. But for as long as the G63 exists, any other version of the G-Class is merely a sideshow. Globally speaking, this is the big seller and still very much the temperature setter. 

Good, then, that it’s the best iteration yet. This is partly to do with the introduction of some new tech, although it’s notable (especially in the wake of the C63) the extent to which Mercedes-AMG has not allowed any of it to significantly muddy the G-Class water. Had it taken the wrong approach, the firm might have run wild with what a G63 could be. Instead - and in stark contrast to its efforts elsewhere - the idea of what it should be seems to have remained in sharp focus. So you get newfangled mild-hybrid status - i.e. 48-volt architecture and an integrated starter-generator - but you won’t really notice its modest assistance when moving. Or not in a way that shifts the spotlight away from the surly V8, which has somehow retained a variation of the Thunder-God soundtrack we thought had been nixed for good by particulate filters and the nanny state. 

Immersing yourself in the noise and the improbable surge of the G63 is still very much part of the core experience. With 627lb ft of torque ultimately on tap, there’s no practical requirement to go rooting around the footwell with your size nines  - and yet, giddy as a bishop at the seaside, you’ll often find yourself ankle-deep in the fun stuff. It is precisely the same guilty pleasure being chased by various V8-powered Land Rover Defenders, although to drive the G-Class is to be reminded of where the benchmark for SUV-based silliness currently resides.  The forthcoming OCTA has its work cut out emulating the G63’s scurrilous fun factor. 

Particularly as its rival has stolen a march on the hydraulic interlinking of its adaptive dampers. The lean-suppressing characteristics of the AMG Active Ride Control system has permitted the removal of the G-Wagen’s conventional anti-roll bars, and obviously provided a much greater bandwidth for suspension tuning - but, again, there is nothing crude or tactless about the implementation. In Comfort mode, the G63 still barrels enigmatically up a road on 22-inch wheels, no longer defined by its separate chassis, yet plainly in possession of one. It meanders heftily but not inconsiderately over bumps, like Ross Kemp negotiating a farm stile, but it’s the progressive and impressively subtle management of the high-sided body that distinguishes this G-Class from any other. 

Fundamentally, the pay-off is a better driving - i.e. more controllable and cleverer - G63. But even in Sport mode, the effect is refreshingly low-key. So while it changes direction more adeptly, we’re not talking about the sort of heightened dynamism that would feel at odds with either the G-Wagen’s modus operandi or its 2,753kg kerbweight: this is the same hulking, tarted-up breeze block that you’d hesitate to really throw down a B road. It’s just nicer and less stressful to steer when pressing on. And even when it clearly is making an effort, it generally resists the tedious ‘sporty’ tag that most fast SUVs subscribe to. It very much wants to be burly and boisterous, even as it’s being slightly pointier and quicker to turn. It manages to pull off both - and to an extent that no previous G63 managed. 

Otherwise, it’s mostly as it was. We didn't get the chance to sample it off-road, but there's no reason to think its powers are waning. Quite the opposite. The interior has been treated to a mild overhaul, mostly centred on the installation of an updated (and much crisper) 12.3-inch display which is also a touchscreen for the first time. As Mercedes has never done infotainment controllers well, this is a good thing - especially as the G-Wagen’s utilitarian pedigree means it retains many more physical buttons than most Mercedes. Probably its maker doesn’t tread the line between soft-touch luxury and squared-off ruggedness as cleverly as Land Rover - but why would it bother? The LED-lit, Nappa leather-clad strategy has manoeuvred the G63 into a position where its admirers will patiently queue for the chance to hand over £200k to own one. No wonder its genuine enhancements are made to seem incremental and in keeping with a car that people like just as it is. Mercedes makes it look easy. It should try it more often.


SPECIFICATION | 2024 MERCEDES-AMG G63 MAGNO EDITION 

Engine: 3982cc V8, twin-turbo
Transmission: 9-speed auto, all-wheel drive
Power (hp): 585@6,000rpm (+20hp, MHEV) 
Torque (lb ft): 627@2,500-3,500rpm
0-62mph: 4.4 seconds
Top speed: 137mph (limited) 
Weight: 2,753kg (EU)
MPG: 19.1
CO2: 338g/km
Price: £184,595 (as tested, £216,085) 

 

 

Author
Discussion

Cryssys

Original Poster:

912 posts

67 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Sorry, I just don't get these. They're ugly things with all the aerodynamics of a falling brick and even less subtlety.

More money than sense motors that just scream "look how big my willy is".

HocusPocus

2,098 posts

130 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Cryssys said:
More money than sense motors that just scream "look how big my willy is".
Do you mean "look how big I want my willy to be"?

It is not the looks, but the sound that sells these cars.

ducnick

2,257 posts

272 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
I sort of get the diesel one with off road capability as a defender alternative for the very wealthy farmer who doesn’t mind the strip club interior. The g63 leaves me cold. I really can’t see the appeal outside alderly edge Waitrose carpark. £200k is bonkers money. How do the minor celebs afford these things?

Inline5

40 posts

71 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Can’t say it’s my cup of tea,but kinda glad that it exists…..,,if only to vex the tree-hugging facists out there! Bravo

Twinair

1,028 posts

171 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
In a heartbeat..!

One of the best antidotes to todays world of ‘rules’ & ‘BEV’ & legislative ‘Non’…

Great stuff - well done MB…

supacool1

738 posts

208 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Coming soon to a money launderer or oligarch near you!

Arsecati

2,780 posts

146 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Wow, a well written, nay, dare I say - an enjoyable article from our oft excoriated NC! Fair play sir, more of it! wink

As for this G63? BLOODY WELL LOVE IT! I would never buy one (and would certainly never drive/use it as a 'posewagon' in the city), but absolutely love the fact that it exists, just for sheer lunacy and giggles! (Again, apart from the numbnuts who only use it for posing in town...... I want to grab the b@stard by the wheel and plough it through a field, in to a lake, up a deserted quarry and launch it over mudpit!! biglaughbiglaugh)

Wills2

29,622 posts

204 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all

I'd have a green one with the diesel engine on smaller wheels.


Jon_S_Rally

4,451 posts

117 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Cryssys said:
Sorry, I just don't get these. They're ugly things with all the aerodynamics of a falling brick and even less subtlety.

More money than sense motors that just scream "look how big my willy is".
Have you ever driven one? They're fantastic. I did quite a few miles in one in the UAE and fell in love with it. It was totally ridiculous and flawed in so many ways (especially as it was the older one), but it was absolutely dripping with character. They don't make any practical sense in reality but, once I spent time with one, it was impossible not to smile. It was basically a '70s army truck with far too much power, side exit exhausts and a load of cow hide thrown at it. It was stupid and hilarious in equal measure. In a world of identikit crossovers, it's a breath of fresh air.

fantheman80

2,606 posts

78 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Bloody fantastic. Hardly changed appearance wise cos it didnt need to, and id have this over a Defender any day

Yes a slight image problem maybe but I smile when I see one

LRDefender

786 posts

37 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
What a marvellous machine..!!

I'd love one for a year just to see what it's like to live with (fuel bills aside). These are very popular across Europe but have never really caught on here.

smilo996

3,828 posts

199 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
The carbon grab rail sums this up. To be looked at rather than used. Coming to a bell-end near you.
Those wheels are nice though. Prefer the basic model, as used by Euro militaries.

smilo996

3,828 posts

199 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Jon_S_Rally said:
Cryssys said:
Sorry, I just don't get these. They're ugly things with all the aerodynamics of a falling brick and even less subtlety.

More money than sense motors that just scream "look how big my willy is".
Have you ever driven one? They're fantastic. I did quite a few miles in one in the UAE and fell in love with it. It was totally ridiculous and flawed in so many ways (especially as it was the older one), but it was absolutely dripping with character. They don't make any practical sense in reality but, once I spent time with one, it was impossible not to smile. It was basically a '70s army truck with far too much power, side exit exhausts and a load of cow hide thrown at it. It was stupid and hilarious in equal measure. In a world of identikit crossovers, it's a breath of fresh air.
Sounds like it someone's ego got a much needed boost and a rumble in the trouser dept. The UAE is the perfect location for them.
Why stop at a G63?


nismo48

7,021 posts

236 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
That's a fine looking Beast thumbup

mrclav

1,645 posts

252 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Cryssys said:
More money than sense motors that just scream "look how big my willy is".
Using your logic, does this train of thought apply to all drivers of Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati, and all other expensive cars too? I seriously question the sexual inclination and peccadillos of anyone who associates the size of someone else's appendage based on the car they drive; it's extremely suspicious and I think it says far more about you than it does about anyone driving such a car.

Also, where I am I see far more women driving them than men so what does dick size have to do with them? I also know a LOT of women know and love this car; even non-car types see it as an aspirational purchase.

Bloxxcreative

568 posts

74 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
My wife loves them, and she's not a car person at all.

They've got a market, but it's not for me.

andy43

13,192 posts

283 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Jon_S_Rally said:
Cryssys said:
Sorry, I just don't get these. They're ugly things with all the aerodynamics of a falling brick and even less subtlety.

More money than sense motors that just scream "look how big my willy is".
Have you ever driven one? They're fantastic. I did quite a few miles in one in the UAE and fell in love with it. It was totally ridiculous and flawed in so many ways (especially as it was the older one), but it was absolutely dripping with character. They don't make any practical sense in reality but, once I spent time with one, it was impossible not to smile. It was basically a '70s army truck with far too much power, side exit exhausts and a load of cow hide thrown at it. It was stupid and hilarious in equal measure. In a world of identikit crossovers, it's a breath of fresh air.
Never driven one but I do quite fancy an older 5.5 twin turbo G63. No actual need for one, but they just look fun. I would use it to carry logs and dogs in, and for shopping. My old Landcruiser 80 would have been awesome with this amount of power and noise. No 48v gubbins for me though thank you, it’s just unnecessary complication.

S600BSB

8,356 posts

135 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
Awful

Jon_S_Rally

4,451 posts

117 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
smilo996 said:
Sounds like it someone's ego got a much needed boost and a rumble in the trouser dept. The UAE is the perfect location for them.
Why stop at a G63?

Not sure how much ego boost I would have got. They're ten-a-penny there, and it was an older model. Thankfully, I don't need a car to massage my ego and I was too busy having fun to care. I know fun is an alien concept on PH though.

As for the 6x6, simply epic. Stupid in every way, and all the better for it. The world needs a little madness here and there.

gruppeb86

631 posts

42 months

Wednesday 21st August 2024
quotequote all
A highly decorated US female gymnast has a similar vehicle/model and she's 4' 8" in height.