Help whilst sick

[LosingGrip]

My other half changed jobs in December. Not long after that she became unwell (something that had been in the background and then became a lot worse). Long story short. She is sick after eating most things. Constant heartburn. Shes on anti sickness tablets but they don't always work. She is on the waiting list for an operation.

She is not entitled to SSP. She got signed off from work (care home) about a week after she started. Thankfully work have said once she's better they will find something for her (she did work for them for ten years and left on good terms previously). Due to her being sick, they can't risk its not a bug which is understandable. Plus its a strain on her. Work have said she'll need a fit to work note from the DR who has said she wont be doing this yet, as she isn't (her sick note has stopped).

Savings are started to dwindle and I'm doing 40 to 60 hours of overtime a month currently and have been for the last few months. There isn't always this overtime. Last month I only managed 24 hours. I'm also struggling at work, so although I can do it, its having an effect on me (currently referred to councilng due to work related issues)

This month is going to be a struggle and I will be dipping into my savings. I do have two credit cards with around £3,000 to use if needed.

Going private isn't an option currently. Cost is more than our savings.

What help is out there? It will hopefully only be for a few months until she has the op and then some recovery (I think they say a month until everything is back to normal).

She has got bank work on my brothers care team, but its not regular and she wont eat 12 hours before the shift and until she gets home so she isn't sick...she can't go on like this. Plus its only a few shifts a month (three this month...one she had to drop due to being sick).

I want to get on top of it so we aren't worrying when savings run out. I've got enough for two maybe three months of bills for both of us saved up.

(We have already made cut backs, looked into changing her car to one with lower payments...however this isn't possible yet (sorted out before we got together).

It doesn't help that shes very proud and wont like asking for help/benefits etc, but it might be what we need to do for a couple of months.

[dalenorth]

Has she got any form of insurance such as income protection or critical illness? Doubtful, but I always ask as sometimes people buy these policies, stick them in a draw and forget about them.

[gotoPzero]

Does the Dr / medical team know she cant work? And the issues this is causing?
I think you need to contact them via the consultants secretary and make it clear what the situation is.

[Bairn]

Alternative funding options , do you have anything of significant value you can sell? Car if mrs isn’t working to fund the operation early and get you and her in a better place?
If going private isn’t an option can you borrow money against your house to fund private healthcare and get her back to work?
Also as suggested making as much noise as possible about the operation and the effect it’s having on your family might work.

[stuthemong]

LosingGrip said:

It doesn't help that shes very proud and wont like asking for help/benefits etc, but it might be what we need to do for a couple of months.

This comment, to be honest, makes be a bit angry.

Ffs.
Benefits exist for the precise reason and situation you’re in.

There is zero shame in using the safety net that your national insurance has paid into. Insurance.

That this “pride “ is having a serious detrimental effect on your mental health and work load is very unfair.

I’d be less accepting of her view on this one than you are. It’s literally what benefits are there for. Go and get the help you are entitled to. Why shed risk your mental and physical health over her pride boggles to be honest

[Alex Z]

stuthe said:

LosingGrip said:

It doesn't help that shes very proud and wont like asking for help/benefits etc, but it might be what we need to do for a couple of months.

This comment, to be honest, makes be a bit angry.

Ffs.
Benefits exist for the precise reason and situation you’re in.

There is zero shame in using the safety net that your national insurance has paid into. Insurance.

That this “pride “ is having a serious detrimental effect on your mental health and work load is very unfair.

I’d be less accepting of her view on this one than you are. It’s literally what benefits are there for. Go and get the help you are entitled to. Why shed risk your mental and physical health over her pride boggles to be honest

Yes, that should have been day one, job one.

The reality of claiming benefits is nowhere near the poor experience that some people expect, and it’s vastly better than chewing through savings and piling money on credit cards.

[Defcon5]

As above, not claiming benefits is ridiculous. (Although the OPs income may prevent her actually receiving any)

Do an online calculator this weekend and call whoever you need to call on Monday morning if eligible.

[ferret50]

Your local Citizens Advice place will help with what is available, get the lady to make an appointment.