Why the secrecy?
Discussion
We have an employee (small family run business, though now with just two family members incl myself in the company plus 8 employees) who recently bought a small van and has been driving to work in it.
I asked him why he bought it and he said it's because he's always lugging things around and his car wasn't big enough. A bit odd I thought but hey ho.
Today I learned from another employee that the van man has been attending a course in the evenings to learn to be a plumber. I then thought - ah that explains the van. The employee that told me assumed that I knew about it all. He then told me that the van man has set up a FB page advertising his services and that he has said he can't see himself working forever at our company.
I also discovered that another employee knows about all this, but not sure about the the rest.
Now even though it would be a great shame to lose this employee, I know that nothing lasts forever and if he wants to better himself and do something else, then I shouldn't stand in the way. But why the secrecy? Why tell at least two other employees and create a FB page (which to me says he's completed his course) and lie to me (or at least bend the truth) about the van?
Surely he must know that I'll find out eventually?
Do you guys think I should mention it to the van man or is it best to pretend I don't know for the time being?
I asked him why he bought it and he said it's because he's always lugging things around and his car wasn't big enough. A bit odd I thought but hey ho.
Today I learned from another employee that the van man has been attending a course in the evenings to learn to be a plumber. I then thought - ah that explains the van. The employee that told me assumed that I knew about it all. He then told me that the van man has set up a FB page advertising his services and that he has said he can't see himself working forever at our company.
I also discovered that another employee knows about all this, but not sure about the the rest.
Now even though it would be a great shame to lose this employee, I know that nothing lasts forever and if he wants to better himself and do something else, then I shouldn't stand in the way. But why the secrecy? Why tell at least two other employees and create a FB page (which to me says he's completed his course) and lie to me (or at least bend the truth) about the van?
Surely he must know that I'll find out eventually?
Do you guys think I should mention it to the van man or is it best to pretend I don't know for the time being?
b
hstewie said:
hstewie said: Perhaps he considers it's absolutely none of your business.
Ouch! But why tell the other employees? And for clarification we are a very close knit team and I don't consider him an employee in the usual sense. I won't say the corny thing about us being like family, but certainly not like a typical boss/employee relationship.
a340driver said:
Because he's worried you'll be petty and sack him before he's ready to start his new business?
If you're nice I would have a word, get him onside and you'll be able to bring someone else in at a good timescale.
If he knows me as well as he ought to do, he'll know I wouldn't do that. If you're nice I would have a word, get him onside and you'll be able to bring someone else in at a good timescale.
I might try to persuade him to stay even going as far as seeing if there's anything I can do to help in that regard.
I know people will say that no one is indispensable but he is one of my personal "big four" ie one of the four employees I wouldn't want to leave.
To use a military analogy it would be like when Robert E Lee lost Jackson.
On the other hand as I said in my OP, I can't and wouldn't want to stand in the way of someone's dreams/ambitions.
Terminator X said:
To the OP, why is it any of your business? If you want to keep the chap then do what you can otherwise why rock the boat.
TX.
Why isn't it? He's chosen to inform at least two fellow employees about it but for some reason not me, despite having a very close working relationship with him and being imo excellent work mates. TX.
Thin White Duke said:
I asked him why he bought it and he said it's because he's always lugging things around and his car wasn't big enough. A bit odd I thought but hey ho.
(1) Why did you ask him? If it's his private transport.....(2) He didn't lie, it's true that his car isn't big enough (as a plumber).
Thin White Duke said:
Terminator X said:
To the OP, why is it any of your business? If you want to keep the chap then do what you can otherwise why rock the boat.
TX.
Why isn't it? He's chosen to inform at least two fellow employees about it but for some reason not me, despite having a very close working relationship with him and being imo excellent work mates. TX.
Can you not see why he might not have told you as his boss and paymaster?
M4cruiser said:
Thin White Duke said:
I asked him why he bought it and he said it's because he's always lugging things around and his car wasn't big enough. A bit odd I thought but hey ho.
(1) Why did you ask him? If it's his private transport.....(2) He didn't lie, it's true that his car isn't big enough (as a plumber).
Thin White Duke said:
Ouch! But why tell the other employees?
And for clarification we are a very close knit team and I don't consider him an employee in the usual sense. I won't say the corny thing about us being like family, but certainly not like a typical boss/employee relationship.
Just being honest And for clarification we are a very close knit team and I don't consider him an employee in the usual sense. I won't say the corny thing about us being like family, but certainly not like a typical boss/employee relationship.
I'm assuming he works for you and you don't own him.
You've asked why he hasn't told you.
Invert.
Why should he tell you?
bhstewie said:
hstewie said:Thin White Duke said:
Ouch! But why tell the other employees?
And for clarification we are a very close knit team and I don't consider him an employee in the usual sense. I won't say the corny thing about us being like family, but certainly not like a typical boss/employee relationship.
Just being honest And for clarification we are a very close knit team and I don't consider him an employee in the usual sense. I won't say the corny thing about us being like family, but certainly not like a typical boss/employee relationship.
I'm assuming he works for you and you don't own him.
You've asked why he hasn't told you.
Invert.
Why should he tell you?
As I've said above I've never had a boss/employee style relationship or at least try not to do. I have been told that can be a mistake however and it has sometimes bitten me.
The secrecy likely stems from a few understandable factors:
- Fear of premature judgment or changed treatment at work before he is ready to make the transition
- Uncertainty about his new career path's success, keeping his current job as a safety net
- Possibly avoiding an awkward conversation until he's more certain about his plans
The fact that he has told other employees but not you, as the owner, is quite common - people often feel more comfortable sharing career changes with peers than superiors. However, this can create an awkward dynamic in a small business where trust and transparency are important.
I would recommend having a casual, non-confrontational conversation with him. Perhaps something like: "Hey, I heard you're studying plumbing in the evenings. That's interesting - how's it going?" This approach:
- Shows you are open to discussing his career development
- Gives him a chance to be honest without feeling defensive
- Allows you to start planning for potential transition
- Maintains a positive relationship that could lead to future referrals or collaboration
If he is good at his current job, you might even consider:
- Offering flexible hours to accommodate his training
- Discussing a gradual transition plan when he is ready
- Potentially becoming one of his first plumbing clients
- Fear of premature judgment or changed treatment at work before he is ready to make the transition
- Uncertainty about his new career path's success, keeping his current job as a safety net
- Possibly avoiding an awkward conversation until he's more certain about his plans
The fact that he has told other employees but not you, as the owner, is quite common - people often feel more comfortable sharing career changes with peers than superiors. However, this can create an awkward dynamic in a small business where trust and transparency are important.
I would recommend having a casual, non-confrontational conversation with him. Perhaps something like: "Hey, I heard you're studying plumbing in the evenings. That's interesting - how's it going?" This approach:
- Shows you are open to discussing his career development
- Gives him a chance to be honest without feeling defensive
- Allows you to start planning for potential transition
- Maintains a positive relationship that could lead to future referrals or collaboration
If he is good at his current job, you might even consider:
- Offering flexible hours to accommodate his training
- Discussing a gradual transition plan when he is ready
- Potentially becoming one of his first plumbing clients
It strikes me that you keep reinforcing how close everyone is and how he should have told you; have you considered that this is one-sided and seemingly he doesn't feel the same way? Sorry to be brutal, but there are two sides to everything. I don't think he's quite as committed to this closeness as you seem to be.
He doesn't want it to be your business, seemingly, and it isn't. Even the response of 'ouch' is quite telling - it's his right to not share it, as opposed to you being hurt by it!
He doesn't want it to be your business, seemingly, and it isn't. Even the response of 'ouch' is quite telling - it's his right to not share it, as opposed to you being hurt by it!
Gassing Station | Business | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff