Dealing with job anxiety, sack, quit etc etc

[21TonyK]

Dont know what I am expecting from replies but maybe some recruiters can chip in.

I havent changed jobs very much and tend to throw myself in 110% and I've never had it go wrong like this.

Its not working and I haven't slept for 3 days worrying about it. Employers really not happy with me, bad fit etc The other day I had 1-2-1 with snr manager and its very much writing on the wall time.

I've been in touch with a generic agency and sent an updated CV today. This has made me feel 100% better and I might sleep a bit tonight.

Apart from me just venting can anyone make any suggestions? Only been there 4 months but they will expect a months notice minimum, personally I want out now, right now, ie. not go back on Tuesday. Its the wrong thing to do but quite frankly I'm beyond caring and for my own health I need out ASAP.

[Quattr04.]

Declare self unfit for work and claim either sick pay or SSP and then get a doctors note to cover you for longer

[SmithCorona]

Industry? It's a tough market out there. Is there a route to keeping employed, even whilst finding the right opportunity to jump to?

[21TonyK]

said:

Industry? It's a tough market out there. Is there a route to keeping employed, even whilst finding the right opportunity to job to?

Hospitality, plenty of temp. work around which would give some income if needed. I can afford a bit of a paycut for a month or so but realistically to lose 50% of income is not a confidence booster!

I think mentally... I'm out.

[roadsmash]

Quattr04. said:

Declare self unfit for work and claim either sick pay or SSP and then get a doctors note to cover you for longer

Correct answer.

[BigMon]

21TonyK said:

said:

Industry? It's a tough market out there. Is there a route to keeping employed, even whilst finding the right opportunity to job to?

Hospitality, plenty of temp. work around which would give some income if needed. I can afford a bit of a paycut for a month or so but realistically to lose 50% of income is not a confidence booster!

I think mentally... I'm out.

I was in exactly the same boat as you at Xmas with a gaslighting bully of manager who made my life hell.

I found another job, which pays considerably less, but is better in absolutely every other way.

I honestly think I have a form of PTSD from the situation, it was so awful. When all your performance reviews for every job you've been in for almost 30 years have been positive, and someone comes in and says 'You aren't worth what I'm paying you' amongst other horrendous statements and, even though you know you're being gaslit, it still has an affect on your mental health.

I would get out too. It was the only realistic option for me short of raising a grievance which, realistically, I had no way of winning (Head of Department would very much have been on my managers side as he recruited him) so I knew I had to leave.

If you can't go back, then SSP as above.

[Jazoli]

roadsmash said:

Quattr04. said:

Declare self unfit for work and claim either sick pay or SSP and then get a doctors note to cover you for longer

Correct answer.

And how are you supposed to pay the bills when off on SSP? No hospitality job I know of pays anything other than the statutory minimum, it’s all too easy to recommend this to someone else.

[roadsmash]

Jazoli said:

And how are you supposed to pay the bills when off on SSP? No hospitality job I know of pays anything other than the statutory minimum, it’s all too easy to recommend this to someone else.

You are still allowed to hand in and serve your notice while off sick.

The primary issue is he doesn’t want to return to work because of the anxiety. He doesn’t want to work his notice.

He said he can afford a bit of a pay cut for a month or so.

[SmithCorona]

21TonyK said:

Hospitality, plenty of temp. work around which would give some income if needed. I can afford a bit of a paycut for a month or so but realistically to lose 50% of income is not a confidence booster!

I think mentally... I'm out.

Honestly, in that case, take what sick you can and allow yourself some time to reset. Then get a temp role. Good luck.

[snuffy]

In my experience, if you think the job is crap, it will never get any better and the only person that can change the situation is you; so I'd chuck your hand it.

[FWIW]

21TonyK said:

Only been there 4 months but they will expect a months notice minimum, personally I want out now, right now, ie. not go back on Tuesday. Its the wrong thing to do but quite frankly I'm beyond caring and for my own health I need out ASAP.

They can’t make you work your notice.

Good luck.

[bennno]

21TonyK said:

Dont know what I am expecting from replies but maybe some recruiters can chip in.

I havent changed jobs very much and tend to throw myself in 110% and I've never had it go wrong like this.

Its not working and I haven't slept for 3 days worrying about it. Employers really not happy with me, bad fit etc The other day I had 1-2-1 with snr manager and its very much writing on the wall time.

I've been in touch with a generic agency and sent an updated CV today. This has made me feel 100% better and I might sleep a bit tonight.

Apart from me just venting can anyone make any suggestions? Only been there 4 months but they will expect a months notice minimum, personally I want out now, right now, ie. not go back on Tuesday. Its the wrong thing to do but quite frankly I'm beyond caring and for my own health I need out ASAP.

How long have you been with your current company, more or less than 2 years?

[Shnozz]

bennno said:

How long have you been with your current company, more or less than 2 years?

He says 4 months.

I’d just quit. Life is too short.

[21TonyK]

FWIW said:

They can’t make you work your notice.

Good luck.

I appreciate they cant force you but my contract does have a clause saying if they need to use temporary staff to backfill during notice period they will (try to) reclaim this which gives an indication of their mindset.

I think going sick (which will only be SSP) is the best option if I have to.

Anyone know what the score is if I go SSP with employer whilst doing other work?

[evoivboy]

21TonyK said:

Hospitality, plenty of temp. work around which would give some income if needed. I can afford a bit of a paycut for a month or so but realistically to lose 50% of income is not a confidence booster!

I think mentally... I'm out.

I know you are a chef the same as me as I have seen your comments on cooking threads(and very knowledgeable), don't know what area you are in now but after cooking in hotels since 1978 I now work in a nice care home, it is nice and relaxed and not bad money

There are loads of agency jobs about also to tied you over, I would just send them an email and not go back if it is affecting you that badly

[21TonyK]

evoivboy said:

21TonyK said:

Hospitality, plenty of temp. work around which would give some income if needed. I can afford a bit of a paycut for a month or so but realistically to lose 50% of income is not a confidence booster!

I think mentally... I'm out.

I know you are a chef the same as me as I have seen your comments on cooking threads(and very knowledgeable), don't know what area you are in now but after cooking in hotels since 1978 I now work in a nice care home, it is nice and relaxed and not bad money

There are loads of agency jobs about also to tied you over, I would just send them an email and not go back if it is affecting you that badly

Cheers, "snap". Like you say, should be nice, and again, as you say if I go back to straight cheffing plenty of work.

[21TonyK]

BigMon said:

21TonyK said:

said:

Industry? It's a tough market out there. Is there a route to keeping employed, even whilst finding the right opportunity to job to?

Hospitality, plenty of temp. work around which would give some income if needed. I can afford a bit of a paycut for a month or so but realistically to lose 50% of income is not a confidence booster!

I think mentally... I'm out.

I was in exactly the same boat as you at Xmas with a gaslighting bully of manager who made my life hell.

I found another job, which pays considerably less, but is better in absolutely every other way.

I honestly think I have a form of PTSD from the situation, it was so awful. When all your performance reviews for every job you've been in for almost 30 years have been positive, and someone comes in and says 'You aren't worth what I'm paying you' amongst other horrendous statements and, even though you know you're being gaslit, it still has an affect on your mental health.

I would get out too. It was the only realistic option for me short of raising a grievance which, realistically, I had no way of winning (Head of Department would very much have been on my managers side as he recruited him) so I knew I had to leave.

If you can't go back, then SSP as above.

Pretty much my experience and how I feel. Good to hear you got sorted.

[SteveDubia]

Just tell them it’s not working out for either party and it’s best for all that you resigned.
You’d be amazed how quickly the stress dissipates once you’ve made that step.

[21TonyK]

SteveDubia said:

Just tell them it’s not working out for either party and it’s best for all that you resigned.
You’d be amazed how quickly the stress dissipates once you’ve made that step.

Yes, you are right. In my mind thats what I should and will do, just timing...

Couple of years ago I went through the mill a bit with job loss. In the end (with some advice and guidance from JasandJules on here) it worked out and I ended up in a very good job. Unfortunately in the end it wasnt for me, too much time away from home, stress etc. This current job was a step back to a local "middle manager" job but with that has come a complete st storm for which I am being held accountable (there are 4 department managers, I am one, the other 3 have all left since I started!)

Don't really want to drop salary again but if I have to just to keep my sanity then maybe thats what is needed.

Real pisser is I should have retired this year... not going to happen

[roadsmash]

Without sounding ignorant, life is too short to be so stressed doing such a fantastically creative job like a chef.

I’d long to have skills like I’m sure you have.

No doubt, I’m sure there are incredibly hard moments.

Sign yourself off sick and hand your notice in shortly after. Enjoy some time at home. Money will come and bills will disappear.

Life is too short. Don’t let these pricks ruin what sounds like the end of your excellent career.