How quickly life changes
Discussion
Am sat here on a Tuesday evening pondering how quickly life changes. Three of my wife’s favourite things… Cognac, twiglets and a fire pit!
24 hours previously (and a bit) I was happily
Making the family Monday evening meal… some peppered king prawn linguine. A meal mostly previously cooked by my wife (an exceptional cook by the way). But 24 hours ago she was feeling a bit ropey (her words) and in bed. She was working from home yesterday (Monday) and at 3pm told me she was feeling ropey, had had enough, and was going to bed. She went to bed clothed, obviously expecting to get up later. She is T1 diabetic and does get these moments from time to time.
At 5:30 I popped up to see her and she was tired. Blood sugars ok just tired. She wanted no dinner and just wanted to sleep. I let her be… and cracked on with the prawn linguine.
At 7:30 I went back up with some water and she was sound asleep. Snuggled with her fav cuddly toy and snoring away like she always does. I closed the curtains, opened the window and kissed her.
At about 9:45 I took her a cup of tea. I poked my head into the bedroom doorway and noticed she was not in bed. Phew … that meant I didn’t need to wake her… she is in the loo.
But she wasn’t.
When went to put the cuppa on her bedside table, I saw her, lying face down on the bedroom floor.
My immediate thought was Hypo and grabbed their phone, opened it and scanned her sensor while checking the obvious…. Breathing, airway and signs of bleeding etc. her blood level was 4.9 … and stable….Not great but ok. f
k me I thought…. She was breathing, although laboured (as it is when in low hypo) … I could feel the cold breath on my hand and cheek, and could see her chest rise slightly… and I definitely felt a pulse in the neck and wrist. I shouted to our daughter to call an ambulance (our daughter is 18 and far more worldly than she would allow us to believe). I held my wife wondering what the fk was going on. My daughter said I can see her chest moving… my wife murmured … or groaned something. I had hope she was waking up!
Ambulance operator asked the obvious questions and I was quite rude to her. I sensed something was majorly wrong and I think got my point across quite well. The operator lady was amazing… and I owe her a serious apology.
Ambulance turned up within minutes and immediately set to work…. Cutting off clothes and starting CPR. I knew this was more than a hypo but was just transfixed…. Shocked… at what I was seeing unfold in front of me.
Then another ambulance. Then the ambulance fast response car. Then the critical care doctor in the air ambulance.
I called 999 at 9:46… as per the recent calls log. At 10:05 the first ambulance turned up and 10:35 the critical car doctor appeared from the air ambulance. At 10:45 he is telling me and my daughter we need to be prepared as he is about to call time on revival and even if she regained consciousness she would likely have serious brain injury.
I begged (literally begged) him to do more… but at 11:10, sadly and tragically he told me he could do no more and my wife had passed away.
A lot has happened in the last 24 hrs. So from making tea, fat dumb and reasonably happy life was ok to now, partially arranged a funeral for the most wonderful person ever to come into my life.
Life is not fking fair. Not for me (well yes for me) but I mean for my wife. Lynn was the most wonderful person I have ever known…. Funny, gracious, beautiful, and best of all, got me! She lives on in our daughter Ella, who having just turned 18 is teaching me how to handle this! She is quite remarkable.
My sons (from my first wife) are away currently… I spoke to them earlier and they are as you would expect devastated.
I was not going to do this post, but a moment of peacefulness in what has been a hectic day, watching the flames made me ponder how quickly life has changed.
My dog Reggie was Lynn’s dog. It was her that he ran to first when we collected him from Blue Cross Rescue near Luton. He has followed her everywhere since… she gets up from the sofa for a wee, he follows. He has been limp today. He knows. He is mourning too!
I love my wife more than words can describe. I never told her enough though.
I sincerely wish I had.
24 hours previously (and a bit) I was happily
Making the family Monday evening meal… some peppered king prawn linguine. A meal mostly previously cooked by my wife (an exceptional cook by the way). But 24 hours ago she was feeling a bit ropey (her words) and in bed. She was working from home yesterday (Monday) and at 3pm told me she was feeling ropey, had had enough, and was going to bed. She went to bed clothed, obviously expecting to get up later. She is T1 diabetic and does get these moments from time to time.
At 5:30 I popped up to see her and she was tired. Blood sugars ok just tired. She wanted no dinner and just wanted to sleep. I let her be… and cracked on with the prawn linguine.
At 7:30 I went back up with some water and she was sound asleep. Snuggled with her fav cuddly toy and snoring away like she always does. I closed the curtains, opened the window and kissed her.
At about 9:45 I took her a cup of tea. I poked my head into the bedroom doorway and noticed she was not in bed. Phew … that meant I didn’t need to wake her… she is in the loo.
But she wasn’t.
When went to put the cuppa on her bedside table, I saw her, lying face down on the bedroom floor.
My immediate thought was Hypo and grabbed their phone, opened it and scanned her sensor while checking the obvious…. Breathing, airway and signs of bleeding etc. her blood level was 4.9 … and stable….Not great but ok. f
k me I thought…. She was breathing, although laboured (as it is when in low hypo) … I could feel the cold breath on my hand and cheek, and could see her chest rise slightly… and I definitely felt a pulse in the neck and wrist. I shouted to our daughter to call an ambulance (our daughter is 18 and far more worldly than she would allow us to believe). I held my wife wondering what the fk was going on. My daughter said I can see her chest moving… my wife murmured … or groaned something. I had hope she was waking up!Ambulance operator asked the obvious questions and I was quite rude to her. I sensed something was majorly wrong and I think got my point across quite well. The operator lady was amazing… and I owe her a serious apology.
Ambulance turned up within minutes and immediately set to work…. Cutting off clothes and starting CPR. I knew this was more than a hypo but was just transfixed…. Shocked… at what I was seeing unfold in front of me.
Then another ambulance. Then the ambulance fast response car. Then the critical care doctor in the air ambulance.
I called 999 at 9:46… as per the recent calls log. At 10:05 the first ambulance turned up and 10:35 the critical car doctor appeared from the air ambulance. At 10:45 he is telling me and my daughter we need to be prepared as he is about to call time on revival and even if she regained consciousness she would likely have serious brain injury.
I begged (literally begged) him to do more… but at 11:10, sadly and tragically he told me he could do no more and my wife had passed away.
A lot has happened in the last 24 hrs. So from making tea, fat dumb and reasonably happy life was ok to now, partially arranged a funeral for the most wonderful person ever to come into my life.
Life is not f
king fair. Not for me (well yes for me) but I mean for my wife. Lynn was the most wonderful person I have ever known…. Funny, gracious, beautiful, and best of all, got me! She lives on in our daughter Ella, who having just turned 18 is teaching me how to handle this! She is quite remarkable. My sons (from my first wife) are away currently… I spoke to them earlier and they are as you would expect devastated.
I was not going to do this post, but a moment of peacefulness in what has been a hectic day, watching the flames made me ponder how quickly life has changed.
My dog Reggie was Lynn’s dog. It was her that he ran to first when we collected him from Blue Cross Rescue near Luton. He has followed her everywhere since… she gets up from the sofa for a wee, he follows. He has been limp today. He knows. He is mourning too!
I love my wife more than words can describe. I never told her enough though.
I sincerely wish I had.
From a random PHer..
I am very, very sorry for your loss. It is a complete mind fk for anyone. At a wild guess, from the care you exhibited, and your comments she knew that you loved her - however much we say it it is never enough.
Look after yourself as much as possible. Don't beat yourself up. Reach out to friends and family.
Take care. Vaud. #manhug
I am very, very sorry for your loss. It is a complete mind f
k for anyone. At a wild guess, from the care you exhibited, and your comments she knew that you loved her - however much we say it it is never enough.Look after yourself as much as possible. Don't beat yourself up. Reach out to friends and family.
Take care. Vaud. #manhug
Wow. So sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how you are feeling.
Not sure there is much for me to say, other than this place can (and has) shown a great supporting spirit for people who've been struck by tragedy, so use it if you ever need to pour your heart out. There are some genuinely good people here who will always listen.
Not sure there is much for me to say, other than this place can (and has) shown a great supporting spirit for people who've been struck by tragedy, so use it if you ever need to pour your heart out. There are some genuinely good people here who will always listen.
mattyn1 said:
Thank you.
I should have added this was not to ask for hugs or sympathies. PH is a great counsellor and I wanted to write down what I was feeling sat here. It really does help!
Life changes so dramatically so fking quickly.
PH is a great counsellor - it is - I had mental health issues last year and PH was super supportive. We are here as random strangers to help.I should have added this was not to ask for hugs or sympathies. PH is a great counsellor and I wanted to write down what I was feeling sat here. It really does help!
Life changes so dramatically so f
king quickly. Anything you need, just message, to rant at the crappiness of the world, for a chat, for jokes to lighten the moment, or anything else, my email is open.
Sincere condolences for your loss; the thread title struck a chord for me, as a few months ago after a ‘routine’ breast cancer operation my wife went into cardiac arrest due to massive internal bleeding.
She did pull through after a second op, but the 10 minutes I spent in the hospital corridor hearing the doctors shouting “Stay with us, stay with us!” as they revived her, were the most traumatic I’ve ever experienced.
I still think about it could have gone differently, and I’d be in a similar position now. May your inner spirit, family and friends help and support you for the next steps, and stay strong.
She did pull through after a second op, but the 10 minutes I spent in the hospital corridor hearing the doctors shouting “Stay with us, stay with us!” as they revived her, were the most traumatic I’ve ever experienced.
I still think about it could have gone differently, and I’d be in a similar position now. May your inner spirit, family and friends help and support you for the next steps, and stay strong.
I can only add to the condolences of others and wish you every strength and positive thought about your time together, in the days, weeks and months ahead.
My father was killed when I was seven, didn’t even get to say goodbye to him that morning.
At this time yesterday I was in bits over how hard things have been for our business and then, out-of-the-blue, someone offered me the help needed.
Both pale in terms of your own situation and were not meant to offer anything other than an agreement of the ‘one minute, all okay, the next…’
I can offer you nothing more than an ear, but happy to offer that if it will help.
With very best wishes
My father was killed when I was seven, didn’t even get to say goodbye to him that morning.
At this time yesterday I was in bits over how hard things have been for our business and then, out-of-the-blue, someone offered me the help needed.
Both pale in terms of your own situation and were not meant to offer anything other than an agreement of the ‘one minute, all okay, the next…’
I can offer you nothing more than an ear, but happy to offer that if it will help.
With very best wishes
That's awful, my sincere condolences.
Sounds like you had a great life together, and I guess a lot of people live a lot longer but never have that. Probably not much consolation at present but hopefully in the coming months and years you'll come to appreciate how lucky you were to have the time together you had rather than focusing on that time being cut short.
All the best to you and your family.
Sounds like you had a great life together, and I guess a lot of people live a lot longer but never have that. Probably not much consolation at present but hopefully in the coming months and years you'll come to appreciate how lucky you were to have the time together you had rather than focusing on that time being cut short.
All the best to you and your family.
I really couldn't imagine how your feeling but yes posting on here can help, its certainly helped me a few times. I don't know what else to really say but im so sorry for your loss. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff