Confidence
Author
Discussion

ninjaboy

Original Poster:

2,525 posts

280 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
quotequote all
Is confidence something your born with or can learn lol sorry to ask such a daft question but its something we have been descusing at work today.

EmmaP

11,758 posts

269 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
quotequote all
It can be learnt. The best way to overcome fear is to confront it

Kinky

39,944 posts

299 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
quotequote all
It certainly both.

In fact, only today we were talking to Kinky Juniors teachers at school (he's 4).

They were saying how amazingly confident he is in school, and he's the leader, and everyone follows him.

And he's the youngest in the class.

And if you pop round to Chez Kinky, he'll probe you about who you are, what you do, what car you drive and so on. Whereas some of his mates that I know literally go into hiding in the same situation.

In later life - I think it splits into 2. If you are presenting or talking on a topic you know well, then you're confident, as you know the subject matter.

General day to day stuff is a different matter. And that's what you can learn.

I think.

K

2 Smokin Barrels

32,031 posts

265 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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Confidence usually increases with age.

..and yes, I am ultra confident then!

docevi1

10,430 posts

278 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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Mr Lister, I'd like you to meet Mr Confidence and Mr Paranoia.

Harry Flashman

21,845 posts

272 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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You learn it. It's something you have when you are happy with yourself and your surroundings.

Easy to veer into arrogance though, which should be discouraged completely.

cotty

42,244 posts

314 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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Yes

Prof Beard

6,669 posts

257 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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Yup

nervous

24,050 posts

260 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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Harry Flashman said:
You learn it. It's something you have when you are happy with yourself and your surroundings.

Easy to veer into arrogance though, which should be discouraged completely.


god, do you ever stop going on about how brilliant you are? sheesh. i for one am growing tired of it (but then i am awesome)

Extra 300 Driver

5,282 posts

276 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
quotequote all
I was very shy, no really i was. I joined the RAF and it turned me into a different person.

I became too comfident, it took one of my good friends to tell me in order to calm down a bit.

So join the RAF, easy!

nervous

24,050 posts

260 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
quotequote all
and your just as bad, bighead.

2 Smokin Barrels

32,031 posts

265 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
quotequote all
Extra 300 Driver said:


I became too comfident.



Somewhere between comfortable & confident

the996turbo

138 posts

259 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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harry flash is right!

dodgyviper

1,213 posts

268 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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nervous said:

god, do you ever stop going on about how brilliant you are? sheesh. i for one am growing tired of it (but then i am awesome)


I'm not - nobody loves me

I should join Top Gear and become a driving God. See - even small people can be confident.

simpo two

92,838 posts

295 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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Whatever you do, don't sign up to God and disappear into the church.

If lack of confidence is really messing up yours or someone else's life, the best thing IMHO is ask the GP for a referral to a clinical psychologist. They can unfold those bits of the mind that have managed to keep hidden, and those are where the answers usually lie.

Mrs Fish

30,018 posts

288 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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I gained my confidence by going to university, before that I was quite shy.

ZR1cliff

17,999 posts

279 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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You can inherit confidence from your ancestors,some are naturally introvert and some naturally extrovert, although depending on your upbringing your confidence can easily be knocked and damaged and it is down to how your parents nurture and guide you in how you overcome knocks.
I feel if your parents are settled and provide you with happy family surrounding then in general that should play a big part in your confidence.
Confidence can have many connections and links to other feelings and mental conditions such as sensitivity,anger,frustration,depression,patience,physical condition etc and if you can get a happy balance in life between all of your feelings then you can build your own confidence but its like all things in life some people it comes easy others have to work hard at it although ive found its not worth lingering on your weak points compared to others as you will normally find you do excell in other areas.

D_Mike

5,301 posts

270 months

Tuesday 4th October 2005
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I am not confident socially but have no problems standing on stage infront of 1000 people and performing or doing presentations etc. I think it is a case of getting used to being on stage whereas social interaction is much harder to get used to. I'm not that great at making conversation, its rather a shame becuase im really a very nice person. Infact I'm great.