Multi-generation family holidays
Poll: Multi-generation family holidays
Total Members Polled: 66
Discussion
We’re currently in Turkey on a big family holiday.
We’re here with our son, the sister in-laws family and the grandparents.
We did this previously and I said never again, apparently about 6 years is close enough to never.
I noticed on the plane that there were a lot of big family groups. Is it normal to want to spend your holidays with the whole family?
Obviously I’m not keen, no-one can make a decision, they don’t tell you if they don’t like something until afterwards then complain endlessly, there will be hassle from the mother in law etc.
To be honest I’m not really a fan of doing anything in a group as a general rule so maybe it’s just me but I’d rather stay at home with the dog. This wasn’t an option sadly.
We’re here with our son, the sister in-laws family and the grandparents.
We did this previously and I said never again, apparently about 6 years is close enough to never.
I noticed on the plane that there were a lot of big family groups. Is it normal to want to spend your holidays with the whole family?
Obviously I’m not keen, no-one can make a decision, they don’t tell you if they don’t like something until afterwards then complain endlessly, there will be hassle from the mother in law etc.
To be honest I’m not really a fan of doing anything in a group as a general rule so maybe it’s just me but I’d rather stay at home with the dog. This wasn’t an option sadly.
We are doing this at the end of the month. Three generations from aged three to late 70s.
It is at a holiday camp and we all have our own separate self catering units. Plenty of free stuff to do. Swimming pool, crazy golf, play parks for the young ones, plus evening entertainment.
We have done it a number of times with no tantrums.
It is at a holiday camp and we all have our own separate self catering units. Plenty of free stuff to do. Swimming pool, crazy golf, play parks for the young ones, plus evening entertainment.
We have done it a number of times with no tantrums.
I dont think its the family aspect as much as just holidaying with other people gets exponetially harder as the group size increases. 3-4 people is usually easy enough to manage but once you get to larger groups you'll always have friction. It's harder to just wander into a restaurant so tables need booking and that introduces restrictions on what everyone can do and when, its harder to get everyone to get organised and leave for an activity. When you have more people it just increases the chances of conflicting wants / needs for any plan / idea.
it is for me any way my children spending time with their uncles aunts and my in laws-mother in law much les mobile now so this would be not able to be done now so glad family holiday of 17 in big house as kids loved it doing day trips then meals at "home" with rest of family instead of driving back
We do this in the UK every year or so; we book a large place or a string of cottages somewhere and have 20 or 30 of us all together for a for a few days. The usual format is one pair of grandparents plus their sons/daughters plus their offspring.
Lots of beach walks, muddy stomps, communal cooking, pool etc etc.
The other time we all get together is weddings.
I love it.
Lots of beach walks, muddy stomps, communal cooking, pool etc etc.
The other time we all get together is weddings.
I love it.
I'm lucky to have a family where we can do this and we often holiday together, usually 11-15 people with kids and grandparents (plus dogs).
The right accommodation is important. You need enough separation that you can have your own space when you want it, and enough to do that people can go off and do their own thing.
One benefit is that you can get a lot of value in the accommodation as a big group. For a few hundred quid per head, we hired a big and definitely haunted Victorian mansion for Christmas a few years back. We barely saw the kids the whole week because we could just let them go off and enjoy themselves exploring. They loved it.
But ultimately, it's probably down to pot luck whether a family has the right mix of personalities to make it work. You need those who will make decisions versus those happy to go with the flow, an honest, open and relaxed attitude to finances, and it needs enough people willing to contribute to avoid tension around things like cooking, emptying the bins and washing up.
The right accommodation is important. You need enough separation that you can have your own space when you want it, and enough to do that people can go off and do their own thing.
One benefit is that you can get a lot of value in the accommodation as a big group. For a few hundred quid per head, we hired a big and definitely haunted Victorian mansion for Christmas a few years back. We barely saw the kids the whole week because we could just let them go off and enjoy themselves exploring. They loved it.
But ultimately, it's probably down to pot luck whether a family has the right mix of personalities to make it work. You need those who will make decisions versus those happy to go with the flow, an honest, open and relaxed attitude to finances, and it needs enough people willing to contribute to avoid tension around things like cooking, emptying the bins and washing up.
Edited by durbster on Monday 6th October 10:29
I've done it a few times with my wife's family but of all the participants I think I enjoyed it least 
In our case we have 2 young kids (5 & 7) but also had my MiL and a couple of aunts and uncles of my wife. It was sold to me as everyone helping with childcare so my wife and I get some time on our own, kids sleeping over with others in the group etc.
What actually happened was minimal actual help and the other adults going to the spa or bars so we were left on our own as a family of 4 a lot. It then got to night time and rather than doing our own thing we had to cater to the wider group, find bigger tables for meals and generally end up with none of the suggested positives and some added negatives.
I much prefer going away with my own immediate family of 4 where there are fewer people to accomodate

In our case we have 2 young kids (5 & 7) but also had my MiL and a couple of aunts and uncles of my wife. It was sold to me as everyone helping with childcare so my wife and I get some time on our own, kids sleeping over with others in the group etc.
What actually happened was minimal actual help and the other adults going to the spa or bars so we were left on our own as a family of 4 a lot. It then got to night time and rather than doing our own thing we had to cater to the wider group, find bigger tables for meals and generally end up with none of the suggested positives and some added negatives.
I much prefer going away with my own immediate family of 4 where there are fewer people to accomodate
My mum is trying to arrange something for next year in the UK, it will be mum, my sister and her family, me and my family which includes my daughters, their boyfriends and my grand kids.
We did it a few years ago and it worked really well, we had separate accommodation and weren't expected to spend all the time with everyone, we could do our own things. We enjoyed it and it didn't cost us anything.
We did it a few years ago and it worked really well, we had separate accommodation and weren't expected to spend all the time with everyone, we could do our own things. We enjoyed it and it didn't cost us anything.
sinbaddio said:
Went on one in July this year to Tenerife.
I flew home after two days.
Whats the story there I flew home after two days.
Edited by sinbaddio on Monday 6th October 10:34

We usually do a week once or twice a year with my parents in the UK in a lodge / holiday home. Works well with a bit of extra childcare and the kids enjoy being around the grandparents.
Can grate a bit when telling the kids off and the grandparents butt in....
Going to Dubai for 10 days in October and invited my Dad for the first 5/6 days
JimmyConwayNW said:
sinbaddio said:
Went on one in July this year to Tenerife.
I flew home after two days.
Whats the story there I flew home after two days.
Edited by sinbaddio on Monday 6th October 10:34

We usually do a week once or twice a year with my parents in the UK in a lodge / holiday home. Works well with a bit of extra childcare and the kids enjoy being around the grandparents.
Can grate a bit when telling the kids off and the grandparents butt in....
Going to Dubai for 10 days this month and invited my Dad for the first 5/6 days
Speed addicted said:
We re currently in Turkey on a big family holiday.
We re here with our son, the sister in-laws family and the grandparents.
We did this previously and I said never again, apparently about 6 years is close enough to never.
I noticed on the plane that there were a lot of big family groups. Is it normal to want to spend your holidays with the whole family?
Obviously I m not keen, no-one can make a decision, they don t tell you if they don t like something until afterwards then complain endlessly, there will be hassle from the mother in law etc.
To be honest I m not really a fan of doing anything in a group as a general rule so maybe it s just me but I d rather stay at home with the dog. This wasn t an option sadly.
nope, will never happen for me. Holidays are for relaxing from the stress of everyday so I don't want all 5 of the kids plus their crotch goblins spoiling it We re here with our son, the sister in-laws family and the grandparents.
We did this previously and I said never again, apparently about 6 years is close enough to never.
I noticed on the plane that there were a lot of big family groups. Is it normal to want to spend your holidays with the whole family?
Obviously I m not keen, no-one can make a decision, they don t tell you if they don t like something until afterwards then complain endlessly, there will be hassle from the mother in law etc.
To be honest I m not really a fan of doing anything in a group as a general rule so maybe it s just me but I d rather stay at home with the dog. This wasn t an option sadly.

Depends on how close you are to your family and how well you all get along.
I love my Mum and (recently departed) Dad, but after I left home at 22 they travelled the world for 20yrs doing all the holidays they couldn't afford to do when they were bringing up three kids.
Fast forward to me being aged 42, we had a baby, they had a holiday villa in Spain, it was a no-brainer to go and visit them for our main holiday. They got to spend quality time with their grandson and us, we had free babysitters on tap for a few nights out that would not have been otherwise possible.
We lost Dad to Alzheimer's last year, after a horrible four year decline with it. When I look back on those family holidays with our lad as a toddler we had such a great time together, I'd love to be able to do it again.
So, my view is that if you get on and it's your thing then go for it, because you'll miss them when they're gone.
However, if it was multiple siblings and their partners/their kids etc, I would give it a swerve as there are too many competing voices to be heard. We do this occasionally with my wife's large extended family, there is always some family politics going down which bores me to tears.
I love my Mum and (recently departed) Dad, but after I left home at 22 they travelled the world for 20yrs doing all the holidays they couldn't afford to do when they were bringing up three kids.
Fast forward to me being aged 42, we had a baby, they had a holiday villa in Spain, it was a no-brainer to go and visit them for our main holiday. They got to spend quality time with their grandson and us, we had free babysitters on tap for a few nights out that would not have been otherwise possible.
We lost Dad to Alzheimer's last year, after a horrible four year decline with it. When I look back on those family holidays with our lad as a toddler we had such a great time together, I'd love to be able to do it again.
So, my view is that if you get on and it's your thing then go for it, because you'll miss them when they're gone.
However, if it was multiple siblings and their partners/their kids etc, I would give it a swerve as there are too many competing voices to be heard. We do this occasionally with my wife's large extended family, there is always some family politics going down which bores me to tears.
Edited by Shooter McGavin on Monday 6th October 11:18
JimmyConwayNW said:
sinbaddio said:
Went on one in July this year to Tenerife.
I flew home after two days.
Whats the story there I flew home after two days.
Edited by sinbaddio on Monday 6th October 10:34

Wouldn't want to do it every holiday, but if one of the key aims of a holiday is to get the family together then it's great. You don't have to all do exactly the same thing at the same time, but you can do family meals, make sure the kids spend a chunk of time with grandparents and cousins, etc. My family are scattered all over, so it's long haul flights to meet up in person with quite a lot of them, and it naturally becomes a family pilgrimage where one generation are carrying another generation's luggage through Heathrow on the rare occasions where we try to get together.
In my line of work we're seeing a reasonable uptick in multi-gen travel.
A mix of grandparents who are willing, able ( and with IHT rules) incentivised to take the whole family away.
Tends to be the case when Mum & Dad have been exceptionally squeezed financially (wage stagnation, inflation + interest rates on large mortgages) and their 'normal' holiday has become out of reach.
The grandparents have been stepping in to pay for the whole lot.
Tricky bit is finding something to please everyone.
A mix of grandparents who are willing, able ( and with IHT rules) incentivised to take the whole family away.
Tends to be the case when Mum & Dad have been exceptionally squeezed financially (wage stagnation, inflation + interest rates on large mortgages) and their 'normal' holiday has become out of reach.
The grandparents have been stepping in to pay for the whole lot.
Tricky bit is finding something to please everyone.
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