Wasps vs man and spider (man down)
Wasps vs man and spider (man down)
Author
Discussion

Franz Hermann

Original Poster:

76 posts

2 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
I am starting to feel like I am living in a very real version of Final Destination.

My microwave gave me an electric shock last week but I survived (just) and now what had previously been a low level conflict between me, my dog and lots of flying insects has got real.

I have always had these feckers around during the summer and have previously managed them with chemical means (Raid) although I am fairly certain that the chicks that the birds just above the battle zone (the eaves) laid this year have suffered a degree of collateral teratogenicity 2ndry to my chosen weapons system.

They have been dropping onto my patio like flies. Unlike the wasps.

Something has changed in my country idyll. When previously I experienced brief raids, gorilla type, now I am getting precise attacks by swarms of angry Hymenoptera. I work from home and at precisely 0400hrs these buggers descend on the patio and attempt ingress into my property. They are better time keepers than my mechanical Swiss timepiece.

Previously the spiders around the outside lamp would deal with excursions but this force has been overwhelmed by this hoard, it's like Zulu Dawn out there. I also think that I may have decimated my own troops with unfriendly fire (Raid)

I also have moles digging in closer and closer to my cottage, my lawn is starting to look like the Somme.

They are now breaching my iron dome and my dog (who previously would chase badgers off the property) is cowering in the bathroom when he hears them buzzing. I cannot hear them 2ndry to Bose noise cancelling technology and having to work telling people that there is nothing wrong with them.

My last line of defense is the spider that lives under the beam above me in the kitchen, he is my "arachnid Iron dome" and has positioned himself in the flight path of these aggressors within mm precision and takes down anything up to the size of the odd hornet within seconds.

He is my last line of defense.

And so I was cleaning up the battlefield this morning and was sweeping up enemy combatants according to Geneva conventions and chucking them in the bin and one got up and delivered what was potentially a fatal blow if I was allergic to them and as I recoiled it minded me of the scene in 1917 with the German chap crashlanding his biplane and then stabbing our chap. Chilling.

Still. I have been wanting to post an image of my watch in the "other " thread but have always thought my hand was not masculine enough.




GasEngineer

1,646 posts

80 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
Eh?

LuckyThirteen

854 posts

37 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
How do I do the ROFL emoji?

KarmaMechanic

7 posts

11 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
And in plain English?

The Three D Mucketeer

6,784 posts

245 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
Nice watch ... next time buy a real one that works .... at least it's correct twice a day hehe

soad

34,104 posts

194 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
LuckyThirteen said:
How do I do the ROFL emoji?
Easy: https://emoticons.datahamster.com/

Franz Hermann

Original Poster:

76 posts

2 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
KarmaMechanic said:
And in plain English?
I got stung on my hand, it's blown up like a balloon.


White-Noise

5,373 posts

266 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
soad said:
LuckyThirteen said:
How do I do the ROFL emoji?
Easy: https://emoticons.datahamster.com/
I'm surprised I haven't seen that page before thanks for sharing that

Doofus

31,880 posts

191 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
Franz Hermann said:
KarmaMechanic said:
And in plain English?
I got stung on my hand, it's blown up like a balloon.
There you are; that wasn't so hard, was it?

eldar

24,479 posts

214 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
Decent attempt at a rage rant, but lacking in anything approaching a decent expletive. Thus I score


SpudLink

7,327 posts

210 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
KarmaMechanic said:
And in plain English?
Have you ever seen the film Phase Four, where a colony of ants develop super-intelligence and lay siege to a science research centre?

Well, imagine that, but with wasps.

cookie1600

2,307 posts

179 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
OP, I've read through your post and I do have complete empathy for your situation, which seems to be one of despair, rapidly increasing.

However, I'm not entirely sure how the might of PH (or just me) can assist you in this moment of crisis. Are you seeking:

1. Professional advice on eradicating infestations of insects, small burrowing mammals and other vermin and/or purchase or repair of a kitchen appliance ?
2. Professional assistance with a medical issue i.e. your swollen hand ?
3. Relative similar experience of any of your current frustrations (items 1 and 2 above) from fellow PH members, but no solutions ?
4. As above (3) but with solutions ?
5. Appreciation of your timepiece ?
6. A general rant with no expectations and no feedback other than murmured support on a 'bad lot' going on in your life ?
7. None of the above ?




Edited by cookie1600 on Thursday 16th October 14:39

The Three D Mucketeer

6,784 posts

245 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
cookie1600 said:
OP, I've read through your post and I do have complete empathy for your situation, which seems to be one of despair, rapidly increasing.

However, I'm not entirely sure how the might of PH (or just me) can assist you in this moment of crisis. Are you seeking:

1. Professional advice on eradicating infestations of insects, small burrowing mammals and other vermin and/or purchase or repair of a kitchen appliance ?
2. Professional assistance with a medical issue i.e. your swollen hand ?
3. Relative similar experience of any of your current frustrations (items 1 and 2 above) from fellow PH members, but no solutions ?
4. As above (3) but with solutions ?
5. Appreciation of your timepiece ?
6. A general rant with no expectations and no feedback other than murmured support on a 'bad lot' going on in your life ?
7. None of the above ?

Edited by cookie1600 on Thursday 16th October 14:39
I think the OP is flushed with his success with the "My Microwave blew up the house (and nearly the Dog) thread " jester



TGCOTF-dewey

6,805 posts

73 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
cookie1600 said:
OP, I've read through your post and I do have complete empathy for your situation, which seems to be one of despair, rapidly increasing.

However, I'm not entirely sure how the might of PH (or just me) can assist you in this moment of crisis. Are you seeking:

1. Professional advice on eradicating infestations of insects, small burrowing mammals and other vermin and/or purchase or repair of a kitchen appliance ?
2. Professional assistance with a medical issue i.e. your swollen hand ?
3. Relative similar experience of any of your current frustrations (items 1 and 2 above) from fellow PH members, but no solutions ?
4. As above (3) but with solutions ?
5. Appreciation of your timepiece ?
6. A general rant with no expectations and no feedback other than murmured support on a 'bad lot' going on in your life ?
7. None of the above ?




Edited by cookie1600 on Thursday 16th October 14:39
The answer - as always is -volatile long chain hydrocarbons.

Franz Hermann

Original Poster:

76 posts

2 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
cookie1600 said:
OP, I've read through your post and I do have complete empathy for your situation, which seems to be one of despair, rapidly increasing.

However, I'm not entirely sure how the might of PH (or just me) can assist you in this moment of crisis. Are you seeking:

1. Professional advice on eradicating infestations of insects, small burrowing mammals and other vermin and/or purchase or repair of a kitchen appliance ?
2. Professional assistance with a medical issue i.e. your swollen hand ?
3. Relative similar experience of any of your current frustrations (items 1 and 2 above) from fellow PH members, but no solutions ?
4. As above (3) but with solutions ?
5. Appreciation of your timepiece ?
6. A general rant with no expectations and no feedback other than murmured support on a 'bad lot' going on in your life ?
7. None of the above ?

7




Edited by cookie1600 on Thursday 16th October 14:39

cookie1600

2,307 posts

179 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
Franz Hermann said:
7
That's encouraging so I can at least come back with:

When rolling two standard dice, seven is the most probable sum
The periodic table of elements has seven rows.
A classic psychology study by George Miller showed that people can hold roughly seven items in their short-term memory
There are the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, which included the Great Pyramid of Giza
Seven Deadly Sins: These are avarice, envy, gluttony, lust, pride, sloth, and wrath
In the Bible, God rested on the seventh day
The Seven Dwarfs from Snow White are named Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, and Dopey

See, you're already feeling brighter aren't you?


Franz Hermann

Original Poster:

76 posts

2 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
cookie1600 said:
Franz Hermann said:
7
That's encouraging so I can at least come back with:

When rolling two standard dice, seven is the most probable sum
The periodic table of elements has seven rows.
A classic psychology study by George Miller showed that people can hold roughly seven items in their short-term memory
There are the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, which included the Great Pyramid of Giza
Seven Deadly Sins: These are avarice, envy, gluttony, lust, pride, sloth, and wrath
In the Bible, God rested on the seventh day
The Seven Dwarfs from Snow White are named Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, and Dopey

See, you're already feeling brighter aren't you?

nope

cookie1600

2,307 posts

179 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
Franz Hermann said:
nope
OK, well at least you're becoming a proper grumpy PHer, welcome to our world!

wolfracesonic

8,484 posts

145 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
The sweep second in red looks a bit gaudy if I’m being honest; are they all like that? Can’t help with the wasps I’m afraid.

Franz Hermann

Original Poster:

76 posts

2 months

Thursday 16th October
quotequote all
cookie1600 said:
Franz Hermann said:
nope
OK, well at least you're becoming a proper grumpy PHer, welcome to our world!
thank you