Smelly friend
Author
Discussion

Frane Selak

Original Poster:

148 posts

3 months

Yesterday (19:02)
quotequote all
this is starting to annoy me now, what with the scousers next door one way and the trampoline family the other way I have a mate that keeps coming round and he stinks, mainly stale cigarettes and BO. For some reason he's started coming round quite regular whereas before it was only once every few months which I could handle, he's just gone and tonight was really bad, I've had to open the patio doors and its freezing outside, also there is only so many times I can febreeeze the couch.

He's pretty thick as well so its not like his conversation is stimulating either, however he can get dodgy MOT's which can be handy if you have a cracked winscreen or an engine light on, however last time he took my mates car my mate said he would get a proper MOT next time as his car stunk when he got back in it.

It wasn't so bad in the summer as I could direct him to sit outside and I've tried ignoring the door but he just rings me then, it obviously cant go on but how in the hell do you tell someone they are a disgusting smelly tramp? I'm sure he knows it as well, how couldn't you, if I'd just st myself or something I wouldn't think "I know I'll go and see so and so now and have a nice cup of tea with them" no, I'd be straight home for a shower and change of underpants.


Warhavernet

380 posts

5 months

Yesterday (19:20)
quotequote all
This should be good, my money's on you being pilloried for the Scouser remark, chancers from Merseyside are a Protected Minority.

Monkeylegend

27,946 posts

249 months

Yesterday (19:57)
quotequote all
Frane Selak said:
this is starting to annoy me now, what with the scousers next door one way and the trampoline family the other way I have a mate that keeps coming round and he stinks, mainly stale cigarettes and BO. For some reason he's started coming round quite regular whereas before it was only once every few months which I could handle, he's just gone and tonight was really bad, I've had to open the patio doors and its freezing outside, also there is only so many times I can febreeeze the couch.

He's pretty thick as well so its not like his conversation is stimulating either, however he can get dodgy MOT's which can be handy if you have a cracked winscreen or an engine light on, however last time he took my mates car my mate said he would get a proper MOT next time as his car stunk when he got back in it.

It wasn't so bad in the summer as I could direct him to sit outside and I've tried ignoring the door but he just rings me then, it obviously cant go on but how in the hell do you tell someone they are a disgusting smelly tramp? I'm sure he knows it as well, how couldn't you, if I'd just st myself or something I wouldn't think "I know I'll go and see so and so now and have a nice cup of tea with them" no, I'd be straight home for a shower and change of underpants.
The bad luck just keeps on coming smile

If you no longer are worried about getting dodgy MOT's what have you got to lose by having a word with him about it.

The alternative is to spray him with something that smells nice before you let him in.

Defcon5

6,433 posts

209 months

Yesterday (19:59)
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People arrive at your house without arranging it first? Eurgh

Rough101

2,815 posts

93 months

Yesterday (20:26)
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Elton Smelsby MOT Station?

Super Sonic

10,764 posts

72 months

Yesterday (20:30)
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Do you no longer need dodgy mots?

MDMA .

9,804 posts

119 months

Yesterday (20:36)
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Move.

jasonrobertson86

1,201 posts

22 months

Yesterday (20:40)
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Defcon5 said:
People arrive at your house without arranging it first? Eurgh
This. Yuck. I would hate this.

Frane Selak

Original Poster:

148 posts

3 months

Yesterday (21:05)
quotequote all
Monkeylegend said:
Frane Selak said:
this is starting to annoy me now, what with the scousers next door one way and the trampoline family the other way I have a mate that keeps coming round and he stinks, mainly stale cigarettes and BO. For some reason he's started coming round quite regular whereas before it was only once every few months which I could handle, he's just gone and tonight was really bad, I've had to open the patio doors and its freezing outside, also there is only so many times I can febreeeze the couch.

He's pretty thick as well so its not like his conversation is stimulating either, however he can get dodgy MOT's which can be handy if you have a cracked winscreen or an engine light on, however last time he took my mates car my mate said he would get a proper MOT next time as his car stunk when he got back in it.

It wasn't so bad in the summer as I could direct him to sit outside and I've tried ignoring the door but he just rings me then, it obviously cant go on but how in the hell do you tell someone they are a disgusting smelly tramp? I'm sure he knows it as well, how couldn't you, if I'd just st myself or something I wouldn't think "I know I'll go and see so and so now and have a nice cup of tea with them" no, I'd be straight home for a shower and change of underpants.
The bad luck just keeps on coming smile

If you no longer are worried about getting dodgy MOT's what have you got to lose by having a word with him about it.

The alternative is to spray him with something that smells nice before you let him in.
I find that I can discuss certain things with certain people. Some people I could straight up say to them fk me you stink today, I could also say stuff like "your girlfriend is probably shagging the barman" as it would be a bit of a piss take and they can take a joke, I also get stuff like that back. However I don't think I've ever cracked a joke with this bloke, it would probably go over his head anyway so I'm not sure how I can say something like that to him.

As well as being a bit thick he is also half deaf so even if I plucked up the courage to tell him he would probably wouldn't hear it first time anyway.

Frane Selak

Original Poster:

148 posts

3 months

Yesterday (21:10)
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Super Sonic said:
Do you no longer need dodgy mots?
Personally I've never really needed them, he's took them for me in the past so I don't have to waste time doing them myself, I have arranged them for my mates a couple of times in the past though for various minor faults with vehicles.

By the way it not totally dodgy, he doesn't write them out in his spare room on a stolen pad of blank MOT's, he just knows an inspector that will turn a blind eye to certain stuff, the sort that could happen as soon as it was driven away from the station - like a broken windscreen etc. He would never pass anything with bald tyres or a rusty subframe etc.

I did forget to mention though, although he is pretty stinky, he would do anything for you, I asked him the other week if he had a rattle gun I could borrow and he brought it round to me within half an hour. He's great as a person, just wish he would improve his hygene dramatically or stay on the door step.


texaxile

3,534 posts

168 months

Yesterday (21:18)
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Warhavernet said:
This should be good, my money's on you being pilloried for the Scouser remark, chancers from Merseyside are a Protected Minority.
It's libtard bingo points all round.

To the OP.

Bent MOT places usually get found out these days, they're coming down hard on it and there's always the chance of being labelled a grass by the MOT tester when / if they get rumbled.

Although it sounds as if his heart is in the right place, he also sounds like a bit of a "lad" so be brutally direct like "have you been using dogst for toothpaste?" or "fk me did they cut your water off?". Otherwise buy him some Lynx Africa shower gel and tell him to use it once a day for a guaranteed shag*







  • He will need to hire a prostitute.

Obi Wan

2,195 posts

233 months

Yesterday (21:22)
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It’s possible he could have a skin condition causing the odour I used to work with someone that had the same problem. Proceed with tact and compassion.

Frane Selak

Original Poster:

148 posts

3 months

Yesterday (21:25)
quotequote all
texaxile said:
Warhavernet said:
This should be good, my money's on you being pilloried for the Scouser remark, chancers from Merseyside are a Protected Minority.
It's libtard bingo points all round.

To the OP.

Bent MOT places usually get found out these days, they're coming down hard on it and there's always the chance of being labelled a grass by the MOT tester when / if they get rumbled.

Although it sounds as if his heart is in the right place, he also sounds like a bit of a "lad" so be brutally direct like "have you been using dogst for toothpaste?" or "fk me did they cut your water off?". Otherwise buy him some Lynx Africa shower gel and tell him to use it once a day for a guaranteed shag*







  • He will need to hire a prostitute.
I'm not sure why the tester does it to be honest, I think he only charges the standard rate for it. As for my mate, he's bee a ducker and diver all his life, although he started going downhill straight after his wife left him about 20 years ago. He was quite presentable back then, its just all the dodgy stuff his wife didn't like I presume.

Frane Selak

Original Poster:

148 posts

3 months

Yesterday (21:26)
quotequote all
Obi Wan said:
It s possible he could have a skin condition causing the odour I used to work with someone that had the same problem. Proceed with tact and compassion.
No its definitely fags and BO, his house is messy, his car is messy, you wouldn't accept a drink off him if you went round there.

Digger

15,909 posts

209 months

Yesterday (21:29)
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Must be the weekend . . .

Frane Selak

Original Poster:

148 posts

3 months

Yesterday (21:30)
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Digger said:
Must be the weekend . . .
No, he's smelly every day.

Monkeylegend

27,946 posts

249 months

Yesterday (21:38)
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Frane Selak said:
Digger said:
Must be the weekend . . .
No, he's smelly every day.
I'm getting the whiff of a Norwegian Blue .

texaxile

3,534 posts

168 months

Yesterday (22:29)
quotequote all
Actually, I was quite flippant in my earlier post, but something struck me . When someone stops caring for themselves personally, it may be a sign of more serious issues.

I think I was caught up in the wave of pisstake when actually it might be worth talking to him, you never know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX8TgVR33KM


Frane Selak

Original Poster:

148 posts

3 months

Yesterday (22:55)
quotequote all
He's been like this for at least 10 years now, I'm sure he is depressed, who wouldn't be if they were dumped. But mostly I think its down right laziness.

If he is going to top himself its been a long time coming, frankly I'm amazed he's still alive the amount he smokes and drinks, he's in his 60's now.

jasonrobertson86

1,201 posts

22 months

Yesterday (23:01)
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Frane Selak said:
He's been like this for at least 10 years now, I'm sure he is depressed, who wouldn't be if they were dumped. But mostly I think its down right laziness.

If he is going to top himself its been a long time coming, frankly I'm amazed he's still alive the amount he smokes and drinks, he's in his 60's now.
Why would you be depressed if you get dumped? Surely its a good thing and fresh start.