The loss of being neighbourly?
Discussion
We have a second home by the sea. It is a small property in a cul-de-sac. A mix of second homes and permanent residents.
We get OK with the neighbours. Well enough to go down the pub.
The front lawns are tiny. About 10ft x 15ft.
When we are here, we always cut the grass at the front. We also cut the grass of our neighbours either side and the two houses opposite as it takes longer to get the mower out, clean it and put it away. We've done this for 10 years. Only one has ever said thanks and none of them have ever cut our grass when they have cut theirs.
Are we expecting too much?
We get OK with the neighbours. Well enough to go down the pub.
The front lawns are tiny. About 10ft x 15ft.
When we are here, we always cut the grass at the front. We also cut the grass of our neighbours either side and the two houses opposite as it takes longer to get the mower out, clean it and put it away. We've done this for 10 years. Only one has ever said thanks and none of them have ever cut our grass when they have cut theirs.
Are we expecting too much?
Have you considered that if you cut the neighbour's front grass without first discussing with the neighbour then you are possibly alienating that neighbour by effectively telling them that their property is such an untidy mess which they are incapable of maintaining themselves and you have to come all the way from your main home to cut their grass to make their property tidy to match your own tidy property ready for when you disappear off home.
butchstewie said:
Did you ask them or just start doing it?
Soon after we moved into our previous house I was chatting to a neighbour and he asked if I'd like him to prune the rose bushes. I had no idea how to prune them and said yes. His response has now gone down in history "good but I was going to do them anyway".He did them every year thereafter. it became a neighbourly joke.
I’ll often cut the patch of grass that stretches between me and the neighbours. Sometimes I’ll weed their side of the road and quickly sweep up. They’ve never returned the favour…..
Speaking of s
t neighbours. My OAP parents have been without running water for two months now because their neighbour’s concrete pond has sunk and ruptured the water pipe that runs over their land. The water board want nothing to do with it because it’s on private land and the neighbour is being incredibly difficult because they don’t want workmen in the garden.
If my elderly neighbours were cut off from water I’d be doing everything in my power to help them out, not leaving them without water for two months with no end in sight (it’s looking like ruining their Christmas as well). Why wouldn’t you help them?
Speaking of s
t neighbours. My OAP parents have been without running water for two months now because their neighbour’s concrete pond has sunk and ruptured the water pipe that runs over their land. The water board want nothing to do with it because it’s on private land and the neighbour is being incredibly difficult because they don’t want workmen in the garden. If my elderly neighbours were cut off from water I’d be doing everything in my power to help them out, not leaving them without water for two months with no end in sight (it’s looking like ruining their Christmas as well). Why wouldn’t you help them?
It would bug me.
To be honest though, you've made a rod for your own back.
To stop now would inevitably lead them to asking why and when you tell them it's because you get no thanks, they will see you as being petty (which you aren't) and the good relationships that exist may diminish.
To be honest though, you've made a rod for your own back.
To stop now would inevitably lead them to asking why and when you tell them it's because you get no thanks, they will see you as being petty (which you aren't) and the good relationships that exist may diminish.
Mr_J said:
Soon after we moved into our previous house I was chatting to a neighbour and he asked if I'd like him to prune the rose bushes. I had no idea how to prune them and said yes. His response has now gone down in history "good but I was going to do them anyway".
He did them every year thereafter. it became a neighbourly joke.
Sure but if I just got home one day to find my rose bushes had been pruned I might be a little annoyed by it.He did them every year thereafter. it became a neighbourly joke.
Whether the neighbours were asked or simply came home one day to find their lawns mowed seems central to how "thankful" they should be IMO.
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