Fussy eaters - what s your take?
Discussion
We were out with friends at a new upmarket Indian restaurant on Friday and should have known better. In a packed restaurant, just before Christmas, J struggled to choose something from the drinks menu without asking her husband for help. She eventually chose a mimosa, which she didn’t like. Soon replaced with a Diet Coke. They only had Coke Zero, which she didn’t like.
On to the food, her husband, my wife and I were all eager to explore the menu and try new food. J couldn’t make up her mind, took a phone call, made us all wait, and then asked the waiter to talk her through the menu, eventually settling on the mildest starter which was too spicy. A similar story with the butter chicken. J claims she likes Indian food.
The food was excellent for the rest of us. Koyal in Surbiton if you’re interested.
For someone in their mid fifties, is it ok to be so particular in what they eat? In some ways, I think it is. Their body, their choice. On the other hand, I find it hugely irritating that a grown adult could be so picky. Thoughts?
On to the food, her husband, my wife and I were all eager to explore the menu and try new food. J couldn’t make up her mind, took a phone call, made us all wait, and then asked the waiter to talk her through the menu, eventually settling on the mildest starter which was too spicy. A similar story with the butter chicken. J claims she likes Indian food.
The food was excellent for the rest of us. Koyal in Surbiton if you’re interested.
For someone in their mid fifties, is it ok to be so particular in what they eat? In some ways, I think it is. Their body, their choice. On the other hand, I find it hugely irritating that a grown adult could be so picky. Thoughts?
My grandfather only ate fish or skinless sausages and chips for dinner every day except Sundays, when he’d have a tray of Yorkshire pudding.
Neurodivergent wasn’t a word back then, but there are lots of adults around who’re ‘fussy’ or ‘can’t make up their mind’ who can probably have their behaviours explained relatively easily.
Neurodivergent wasn’t a word back then, but there are lots of adults around who’re ‘fussy’ or ‘can’t make up their mind’ who can probably have their behaviours explained relatively easily.
I really struggle with fussy eaters.
My parents were born pre WW2 and experienced many years of rationing. It was not unknown for us to eat road kill. I can remember my older sister having her leftovers from dinner served up cold for breakfast.
The only thing I struggle with is tripe. I still eat liver and offal.
I remember my Dad saying that I should not think about whether I like something or not and even now I don't. It's the same with work. Focus on doing something to the best of your ability.
Kids these days seem to just want processed chicken nuggets. We have one that only eats pasta and tomato sauce. I rarely invite family over as catering for the fussy ones makes it a nightmare.
My parents were born pre WW2 and experienced many years of rationing. It was not unknown for us to eat road kill. I can remember my older sister having her leftovers from dinner served up cold for breakfast.
The only thing I struggle with is tripe. I still eat liver and offal.
I remember my Dad saying that I should not think about whether I like something or not and even now I don't. It's the same with work. Focus on doing something to the best of your ability.
Kids these days seem to just want processed chicken nuggets. We have one that only eats pasta and tomato sauce. I rarely invite family over as catering for the fussy ones makes it a nightmare.
My wife can be quite fussy, but she doesn't make a fuss. She's a grown-up and knows that if she orders something she doesn't like, it's her problem, not everyone else's.
She has catholic tastes, so there's always something she'll like, but she tends towards vegetarian food in restaurants, because fatty meat - as well as skin - is a real no-no for her, and you can't always be sure how the meat or fish will arrive.
She has catholic tastes, so there's always something she'll like, but she tends towards vegetarian food in restaurants, because fatty meat - as well as skin - is a real no-no for her, and you can't always be sure how the meat or fish will arrive.
Doofus said:
My wife can be quite fussy, but she doesn't make a fuss. She's a grown-up and knows that if she orders something she doesn't like, it's her problem, not everyone else's.
This is my firmly held position, after many years of irritation from direct family and hanger-on's fussiness: you can be as fussy as you like as long as I don't have to hear about it.The three kids of a family near us when I was growing up in the late 50s and early 60s would only eat chips and the yolk of fried eggs. All three of them. Egg and chips fried in lard, dip the chips in the egg yolk, leave the white, twice a day, every day. I sometimes wonder what became of them.
ETA And ketchup.
ETA And ketchup.
toasty said:
For someone in their mid fifties, is it ok to be so particular in what they eat? In some ways, I think it is. Their body, their choice. On the other hand, I find it hugely irritating that a grown adult could be so picky. Thoughts?
It’s a bit odd for someone who claims to like Indian food.Wife has friend in her 50’s who has never tried Indian food and is convinced she wouldn’t like it. She got invited to some kind of do with her husband’s work - she stressed about it for weeks and then refused to go.
It begins at childhood but can be changed
I have 2 sisters and all 3 of us where basically given what we wanted, think fish fingers and chicken nuggets, no fruit really that I can ever remember
I kicked the habit when I moved of home, I was 27 before I had tried a orange and over many years have had to resin myself into eating different things that aren’t your traditional burgers, pizzas, shepards pies that kind of thing, only in the last few years have I started eating things like berries or even fish that isn’t cod, now I love salmon
It’s been incredibly hard, texture being one of the biggest issues, I can only buy fruit in M&S or the green grocers as that’s the only place it’s consistently reliable and delicious
I am much healthier for it, I almost never eat anything processed now, and I still love a pizza but only a sourdough base fresh one, where as I used to eat a Chicago town every Friday
My other 2 sisters are still stuck in their ways, one of them I remember ordering chicken when we went out for a roast and then refusing to eat the chicken breast as it had a bone it it, any other time I have been out with her she will order a burger, no matter where we go it’s a burger
The other claims to be a “vegiterian” but will eat fish and chips and chicken that’s been cooked to death, we went to Rosa’s Thai where she caused a almighty fuss because they had changed from chicken breast to chicken thigh in the one dish she would get on repeat
This is all very frustrating and I now won’t go out for food with either of them
It’s all traced back to childhood, we where never forced to eat new things as our parents just gave in.
It’s changeable but people have to put in some effort to do it.
I have 2 sisters and all 3 of us where basically given what we wanted, think fish fingers and chicken nuggets, no fruit really that I can ever remember
I kicked the habit when I moved of home, I was 27 before I had tried a orange and over many years have had to resin myself into eating different things that aren’t your traditional burgers, pizzas, shepards pies that kind of thing, only in the last few years have I started eating things like berries or even fish that isn’t cod, now I love salmon
It’s been incredibly hard, texture being one of the biggest issues, I can only buy fruit in M&S or the green grocers as that’s the only place it’s consistently reliable and delicious
I am much healthier for it, I almost never eat anything processed now, and I still love a pizza but only a sourdough base fresh one, where as I used to eat a Chicago town every Friday
My other 2 sisters are still stuck in their ways, one of them I remember ordering chicken when we went out for a roast and then refusing to eat the chicken breast as it had a bone it it, any other time I have been out with her she will order a burger, no matter where we go it’s a burger
The other claims to be a “vegiterian” but will eat fish and chips and chicken that’s been cooked to death, we went to Rosa’s Thai where she caused a almighty fuss because they had changed from chicken breast to chicken thigh in the one dish she would get on repeat
This is all very frustrating and I now won’t go out for food with either of them
It’s all traced back to childhood, we where never forced to eat new things as our parents just gave in.
It’s changeable but people have to put in some effort to do it.
I know a few people who will only eat 'beige food' Plain chicken, potatoes, chips, white bread, cheddar cheese.
Baked beans, sausages, ketchup and beef burgers are the exception to their beige rule.
Seasoning consists of salt & pepper.
One of these people also refuses to eat any fruit or veg, at the age of 50...
I am the complete opposite and food is a big passion of mine, I have been to SE Asia a few times and made the most of the incredible food scene. The beige food eaters I know would struggle with 95% of the local food, and probably stick to western food!
Baked beans, sausages, ketchup and beef burgers are the exception to their beige rule.
Seasoning consists of salt & pepper.
One of these people also refuses to eat any fruit or veg, at the age of 50...
I am the complete opposite and food is a big passion of mine, I have been to SE Asia a few times and made the most of the incredible food scene. The beige food eaters I know would struggle with 95% of the local food, and probably stick to western food!
Bloody hell. I feel sorry for her husband. I would probably avoid going out with them or be quite rude in the same way that you might speak to a fussy 5 year old.
My SWMBO is only fussy in that she won't visit a KFC, McDs or Wetherpoons (the latter is a shame because I like their range of ales... and their prices).
My SWMBO is only fussy in that she won't visit a KFC, McDs or Wetherpoons (the latter is a shame because I like their range of ales... and their prices).
Most Indian restaurants will be quite used to being asked about spice levels and I don't think there's anything wrong with asking.
The wording that leaps to mind about "J" from the behaviour in the OP is that she just sounds a bit lacking in self-awareness perhaps.
I don't think anyone would moan at "I'm not great with spicy food so could you suggest something mild please" would they?
The wording that leaps to mind about "J" from the behaviour in the OP is that she just sounds a bit lacking in self-awareness perhaps.
I don't think anyone would moan at "I'm not great with spicy food so could you suggest something mild please" would they?
Doofus said:
My wife can be quite fussy, but she doesn't make a fuss. She's a grown-up and knows that if she orders something she doesn't like, it's her problem, not everyone else's.
She has catholic tastes, so there's always something she'll like, but she tends towards vegetarian food in restaurants, because fatty meat - as well as skin - is a real no-no for her, and you can't always be sure how the meat or fish will arrive.
I think that's the crux of it. It wouldn't bother me beyond mild amusement until it started impacting my evening out. She has catholic tastes, so there's always something she'll like, but she tends towards vegetarian food in restaurants, because fatty meat - as well as skin - is a real no-no for her, and you can't always be sure how the meat or fish will arrive.
Just order the Chicken Korma and white rice and move on.
RichFN2 said:
I am the complete opposite and food is a big passion of mine, I have been to SE Asia a few times and made the most of the incredible food scene.
Many years ago my aunts went to Hong Kong for a holiday which was a very adventurous location for them.They ate at Harry Ramsden's there every night
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