Hospital Humour - what has made you laugh when inside?

[Riley Blue]

I've been in hospital since Monday feeling not very well at all but a couple of incidents made me smile.

There's an old boy with dementia a couple of beds along and wanted to blow his nose,'Tissue hank! Tissue hank! ' he shouted out (try it).

During visiting time and a nurse caught a little girl trying to open a door she shouldn't. 'What are you looking for sweetheart?' she was asked
'Bodies!'

Any more?

[Ambleton]

For a while last summer I had a tube straight into my liver, draining off bile. When they put the drainage tube in (which was super grim btw), I was told to drink fluids like there was no tomorrow to try and reduce the concentricity of bilirubin in my blood. I did as requested and my bile bag needed emptying every couple of hours. In the first 24hrs I managed to drain off 4.5l of bile! The docs were impressed and concerned in equal measures.

One of the student nurses was sent in to empty my bag... she opened the tap and drained it into a tub and was about to pour it down the loo when I told her that she needed to take it away and measure it.

Most people have never experienced raw/fresh bile. I believe this was her first time. Its similar to fresh engine oil in appearance and consistency. Yellow, slimy, it absolutely guffs. It really does stink.



She looked at me in shock and said "oh no... really?" This tub was absolutely brimmed. Couldn't have been more that 5mm from overflowing. She was wretching from the smell. As she walked off I said "dont spill any, it makes a really tasty soup"

She got her own back later though... I like nurses, they have a particularly dark sense of humour.

A few days later in the ward upon an old boy having his catheter removed... "free willy!" was exclaimed.