What situation ms does having a child actually improve?
What situation ms does having a child actually improve?
Author
Discussion

Quattr04.

Original Poster:

900 posts

13 months

Yesterday (21:01)
quotequote all
I m at that stage in life where all my friends and family are popping out kids left right and centre, they all say the same you ll regret not having them and yet when I challenge them none of them can actually give me a reason why?

Sometimes you ll get so you won t be lonely in old age which assumes your kids will still want to deal with you when you re old.

They all seem miserable, soft play on the weekends, no lay ins, messy houses that are over priced because they re near a good school, sticky surfaces and holidays so expensive and yet still awful

Just today I was out for lunch at a nice restaurant with my 1 year old niece who I was looking after and I was thinking hmm. This really isn t more enjoyable than just enjoying my lunch and wine with silence and not being covered in rusk crumbs and a car full of stuff.

So what exactly is better with kids than without?!

Oops don’t know how I added MS to the title x

Edited by Quattr04. on Saturday 7th February 21:04


Edited by Quattr04. on Saturday 7th February 21:10

Super Sonic

11,814 posts

76 months

Yesterday (21:02)
quotequote all
Watching them grow.

littleredrooster

6,116 posts

218 months

Yesterday (21:08)
quotequote all
"ms does"...??

Blib

47,063 posts

219 months

Yesterday (21:09)
quotequote all
You can then get grandchildren.

They're bloody BRILLIANT!

yes

Quattr04.

Original Poster:

900 posts

13 months

Yesterday (21:10)
quotequote all
littleredrooster said:
"ms does"...??
I don’t actually know why the MS came up

Nothingtoseehere

4,883 posts

209 months

Yesterday (21:16)
quotequote all
If you want kids, have them.

If you don't, don't.

If you have them when you didn't want them you'll probably still be happy having them. You could also harbour regret. Who knows.

Don't let 'peer pressure' affect your decision.

Tbh, if your questioning it you either want them or you're easily swayed, so you'll have them.

I'm in the didn't want them, haven't got them camp.


grumbledoak

32,336 posts

255 months

Yesterday (21:18)
quotequote all
Don't judge by the niece or by your friend's kids. It is different when they are yours.

Babies and little kids are great. Watching them learn, laugh, and grow.

But don't do it to have someone around when you get old. They are not yours forever. They don't owe you.

lizardbrain

3,641 posts

59 months

Yesterday (21:27)
quotequote all
I spent most of my life without kids and had them late so feel like I have seen both sides.

Both options are good! Watching a kid grow up is magical. They are very funny above all else. Money definitely helps. I don't think it would be as fun to raise kids without funds for childcare etc.

Not having kids was also good! But helps to have something else interesting going on. The happiest childless I know have engaging careers. The ones that are a bit aimless don't seem as happy with the choice.

I suspect your average person with an average job, will be about as happy/sad whatever they choose.


MDMA .

10,023 posts

123 months

Yesterday (21:28)
quotequote all
Quattr04. said:
I m at that stage in life where all my friends and family are popping out kids left right and centre, they all say the same you ll regret not having them and yet when I challenge them none of them can actually give me a reason why?

Sometimes you ll get so you won t be lonely in old age which assumes your kids will still want to deal with you when you re old.

They all seem miserable, soft play on the weekends, no lay ins, messy houses that are over priced because they re near a good school, sticky surfaces and holidays so expensive and yet still awful

Just today I was out for lunch at a nice restaurant with my 1 year old niece who I was looking after and I was thinking hmm. This really isn t more enjoyable than just enjoying my lunch and wine with silence and not being covered in rusk crumbs and a car full of stuff.

So what exactly is better with kids than without?!

Oops don t know how I added MS to the title x

Edited by Quattr04. on Saturday 7th February 21:04


Edited by Quattr04. on Saturday 7th February 21:10
Have you asked your parents?

Wacky Racer

40,492 posts

269 months

Yesterday (21:47)
quotequote all
Actually (imo) babies are quite boring, once you have got over the "Isn't he/she lovely" stuff. they sleep/cry/st as you would expect. and keep you awake most of the night.

However, when they start to walk/talk and interact between the ages of two and five they are wonderful, there is no feeling like it.

I have three lads 41,39 and 37 and two grand daughters 8 and 2, so I can only speak from my own experience,

You will certainly be much better off financially without children, that's for sure, with a decent pair of two year old's shoes costing thirty to fifty pounds and lasting three months

Nothingtoseehere

4,883 posts

209 months

Yesterday (21:56)
quotequote all
There will be people providing evidence for and against every possible option.

There is no general right answer, and there isn't even necessarily a right answer for you as sometimes you don't know what your missing - either way!

Go with your desire at the time. Doing something now, because you might regret not doing it later isn't a great option biggrin.

Quattr04.

Original Poster:

900 posts

13 months

Yesterday (22:02)
quotequote all
Nothingtoseehere said:
There will be people providing evidence for and against every possible option.

There is no general right answer, and there isn't even necessarily a right answer for you as sometimes you don't know what your missing - either way!

Go with your desire at the time. Doing something now, because you might regret not doing it later isn't a great option biggrin.
I’m firmly a no child person, but I just want to know what is actually improved by having them?

Parking by the front door at the shops?
Being able to leave work early when the kids are sick?

BUG4LIFE

2,428 posts

240 months

Yesterday (22:04)
quotequote all
Family.

Blib

47,063 posts

219 months

Yesterday (22:05)
quotequote all
Quattr04. said:
I m firmly a no child person, but I just want to know what is actually improved by having them?

Parking by the front door at the shops?
Being able to leave work early when the kids are sick?
It's mainly the parking thing.

yes

BUG4LIFE

2,428 posts

240 months

Yesterday (22:17)
quotequote all
Actually, I’m going to elaborate on my above post. Small thing, but watching my 7 year old playing rugby on a Sunday morning, seeing the smile on his face as he scores another try and watch has he gets better week after week. Knowing my late Dad (obviously his Grandfather) would have been as proud as I am…I really couldn’t imagine not having kids. Nothing about being kid-less, no amount of lie ins or extra money in the bank, even comes close!

croyde

25,411 posts

252 months

Yesterday (22:23)
quotequote all
BUG4LIFE said:
Actually, I m going to elaborate on my above post. Small thing, but watching my 7 year old playing rugby on a Sunday morning, seeing the smile on his face as he scores another try and watch has he gets better week after week. Knowing my late Dad (obviously his Grandfather) would have been as proud as I am I really couldn t imagine not having kids. Nothing about being kid-less, no amount of lie ins or extra money in the bank, even comes close!
All I remember about my lot playing rugby was the crying when they got tackled or got cold.

And it was bloody freezing having to stand there watching and being enthusiastic biggrin

BUG4LIFE

2,428 posts

240 months

Yesterday (22:26)
quotequote all
croyde said:
BUG4LIFE said:
Actually, I m going to elaborate on my above post. Small thing, but watching my 7 year old playing rugby on a Sunday morning, seeing the smile on his face as he scores another try and watch has he gets better week after week. Knowing my late Dad (obviously his Grandfather) would have been as proud as I am I really couldn t imagine not having kids. Nothing about being kid-less, no amount of lie ins or extra money in the bank, even comes close!
All I remember about my lot playing rugby was the crying when they got tackled or got cold.

And it was bloody freezing having to stand there watching and being enthusiastic biggrin
Ah, tackling comes in next year. We’ll see how that goes!

happytobealive

197 posts

128 months

Yesterday (22:30)
quotequote all
Blib said:
Quattr04. said:
I m firmly a no child person, but I just want to know what is actually improved by having them?

Parking by the front door at the shops?
Being able to leave work early when the kids are sick?
It's mainly the parking thing.

yes
Closely followed by being able to leave work early when the kids are sick.

I think we have definitely nailed the top two benefits!

RDMcG

20,388 posts

229 months

Yesterday (22:33)
quotequote all
I have an adult son with who I have a great relationship so no regrets. To be honest I never got the whole magic of childhood thing, did the dutiful parent going to teams and so on , but he went to boarding school at 12. It was only later that I developed a very good relationship with him. We are all different but in my experience my friends who have had kids and whose who have chosen not to are equally happy with their decisions.

The only sad cases are those who wanted kids and for whatever reason were unable to and could not adopt.

Strangely enough my son is going to become a father for the first time in September and is thrilled.

I would say that you should ignore the experience of friends and make your own call.

Nothingtoseehere

4,883 posts

209 months

Yesterday (22:33)
quotequote all
Quattr04. said:
Nothingtoseehere said:
There will be people providing evidence for and against every possible option.

There is no general right answer, and there isn't even necessarily a right answer for you as sometimes you don't know what your missing - either way!

Go with your desire at the time. Doing something now, because you might regret not doing it later isn't a great option biggrin.
I m firmly a no child person, but I just want to know what is actually improved by having them?

Parking by the front door at the shops?
Being able to leave work early when the kids are sick?
They do appear to be a good excuse to avoid social engagements, avoid work, park where you want, and generally be self righteous and annoying biggrin.

I'm a no child person, no regrets, ever beer