Discussion
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd0vvr9j1dxo
I noticed this from last year, interesting that there's an increase in older dads, ie the over 60s. It's still a pretty small number though.
Anyone on here an older dad?
I can think of 2 men that are at/beyond state pension age with kids still in Primary school. I'm not sure I'd fancy that !
I noticed this from last year, interesting that there's an increase in older dads, ie the over 60s. It's still a pretty small number though.
Anyone on here an older dad?
I can think of 2 men that are at/beyond state pension age with kids still in Primary school. I'm not sure I'd fancy that !
I'd be interested to hear from anyone on here at that age.
I feel like an old dad, had my daughter at 38, she's knocking on for 8 now, not sure I'd have the energy to go again now I'm mid 40's. I wish I'd have started younger, but didn't meet anyone I wanted to have children with until now.
I feel like an old dad, had my daughter at 38, she's knocking on for 8 now, not sure I'd have the energy to go again now I'm mid 40's. I wish I'd have started younger, but didn't meet anyone I wanted to have children with until now.
We had our first when I was 33, second at 35. I was 46 last year when our third arrived. If we go for number 4 which is still undecided I will likely be 48 when they arrive. When I look at my parents, they were still very active in their 60s, and were energetic grandparents for my eldest two, so I don't really think being a parent to teenagers in my 60s will necessarily be a problem (at least not physically).
People are having children later. Partly I guess down to pressure on women to have a career rather than 'just' being mothers. Most of our peers were into their 40s when they became parents for the first time. Obviously this brings higher risks to the mother and child, but as a father age is not really a factor.
Anyway, doing it all again in my mid-40s was surprising in a number of ways. It is hard work, it is tiring, but it's almost as if we are more present than we were the first times. Perhaps because we know now how quickly time passes, we are making more of a conscious effort to enjoy the baby phase.
We are lucky that my OH is a full-time mum (and has been since we had the first two), and I'm essentially semi-retired, only working half the year. It means we aren't as reliant on outside help from grandparents as some parents may be. Obviously the older the parents, the older the grandparents, and their involvement may be less useful, or even not available at all.
People are having children later. Partly I guess down to pressure on women to have a career rather than 'just' being mothers. Most of our peers were into their 40s when they became parents for the first time. Obviously this brings higher risks to the mother and child, but as a father age is not really a factor.
Anyway, doing it all again in my mid-40s was surprising in a number of ways. It is hard work, it is tiring, but it's almost as if we are more present than we were the first times. Perhaps because we know now how quickly time passes, we are making more of a conscious effort to enjoy the baby phase.
We are lucky that my OH is a full-time mum (and has been since we had the first two), and I'm essentially semi-retired, only working half the year. It means we aren't as reliant on outside help from grandparents as some parents may be. Obviously the older the parents, the older the grandparents, and their involvement may be less useful, or even not available at all.
First child when I was 31 and last when I was 39. Looking around at the parents at the school, we're toward the older end of the scale but not the oldest. I know of at least one of the dads being 48 and one of the mums celebrating her 50th recently but having kids around 8 years old.
I suppose with life being as expensive as it is, people perhaps wait until they are more financially stable before having children and in turn are slightly older. The notion of having kids in my 20s seems mental to me but each to their own.
By contrast my other half's sister met a guy when she was about 36 and he was 52. He already had kids in their mid/late 20s but went on to have two more. Recently had his 60th birthday and his younger kids are 5 and 8. I wouldn't entertaining having more kids and I'm 42 now.
I suppose with life being as expensive as it is, people perhaps wait until they are more financially stable before having children and in turn are slightly older. The notion of having kids in my 20s seems mental to me but each to their own.
By contrast my other half's sister met a guy when she was about 36 and he was 52. He already had kids in their mid/late 20s but went on to have two more. Recently had his 60th birthday and his younger kids are 5 and 8. I wouldn't entertaining having more kids and I'm 42 now.
There are pros and cons, yes. Being tired is the obvious one, although it does coincide with a chapter of life where being tired is expected.
My siblings have grown-up kids and are enjoying their freedom, but then again, they had much less freedom in their 20s and 30s compared to me, so swings and roundabouts there as well.Their kids are quite high maintenance even in their adult years, though, so it's not like they are completely free of stress.
I had older parents and it's not very nice dealing with their end of life care when you are still young. It doesn't seem fair to put that on someone.
It's a good early retirement project for me. It adds a lot of colour, purpose and joy to a period which might otherwise be a little grey. I don't really have the energy to pursue my own ambitions any more, so it's nice to have someone else's ambitions to live through vicariously.
My siblings have grown-up kids and are enjoying their freedom, but then again, they had much less freedom in their 20s and 30s compared to me, so swings and roundabouts there as well.Their kids are quite high maintenance even in their adult years, though, so it's not like they are completely free of stress.
I had older parents and it's not very nice dealing with their end of life care when you are still young. It doesn't seem fair to put that on someone.
It's a good early retirement project for me. It adds a lot of colour, purpose and joy to a period which might otherwise be a little grey. I don't really have the energy to pursue my own ambitions any more, so it's nice to have someone else's ambitions to live through vicariously.
I posted in the other ongoing parent thread I knew a gent briefly who I worked with who was becoming a first time dad at 53, he was in the process of retiring and his wife fell pregnant so that was his retirement pretty much set out for him.
I'm about to turn 45 and had my youngest of two at 37. I would rather crawl through glass than have to go through the baby phase again now, I have loved bringing my children up and I adore them both but the thought of starting again now would fill me with dread. I had the snip a few months after my youngest was born.
My wife jokes sometimes that I'll leave her for a younger model and have more kids but I'd honestly rather just stay single.
I'm about to turn 45 and had my youngest of two at 37. I would rather crawl through glass than have to go through the baby phase again now, I have loved bringing my children up and I adore them both but the thought of starting again now would fill me with dread. I had the snip a few months after my youngest was born.
My wife jokes sometimes that I'll leave her for a younger model and have more kids but I'd honestly rather just stay single.
My wife and I met when were in our mid/late 30s which was a late start, then had kids when I was 43, 45 and 49 with the last one being later than hoped for. I’m 51 now and have been a stay at home dad since day one, but unlike plenty of people my age I’m very healthy and fit and have as much energy as I did 20 years ago.
I also have a young approach to parenting in that I’ll play games and do silly things with them, so there’s no impact on how they’re being raised and hopefully that will continue until they’re old enough to not need me to do those things. The only negative I can foresee is that we won’t get to see so much of any grand children they produce growing into adulthood as we’ll be in the ground by then, but such is life.
I also have a young approach to parenting in that I’ll play games and do silly things with them, so there’s no impact on how they’re being raised and hopefully that will continue until they’re old enough to not need me to do those things. The only negative I can foresee is that we won’t get to see so much of any grand children they produce growing into adulthood as we’ll be in the ground by then, but such is life.
borcy said:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd0vvr9j1dxo
I noticed this from last year, interesting that there's an increase in older dads, ie the over 60s. It's still a pretty small number though.
Anyone on here an older dad?
I can think of 2 men that are at/beyond state pension age with kids still in Primary school. I'm not sure I'd fancy that !
Would be interesting to know the age of the women getting pregnant by these older dadsI noticed this from last year, interesting that there's an increase in older dads, ie the over 60s. It's still a pretty small number though.
Anyone on here an older dad?
I can think of 2 men that are at/beyond state pension age with kids still in Primary school. I'm not sure I'd fancy that !
Saleen836 said:
Would be interesting to know the age of the women getting pregnant by these older dads
I'd think they'd be much younger for obvious reasons. The ones I know are, 68 and his wife is 39 2 in primary school, mid 60s with one in reception wife is late 30s, another couple he's mid 50s wife is late 20s working on it. I know of a bloke he's 60 I think with a 6/7 year old but he's more a friend of a friend so not totally sure on years. No idea how old the wife is.
I was 32 when my daughter was born and consider that quite late (43 now).
A guy I work with has a 5yr old and is now 56 (his wife is the same age)
His other 2 kids are 22 and 20.
It was all planned too - why anyone would want to be so close to retirement freedom (prior to this he used to regularly go on about retiring at 55 at the latest) and to start again beggars belief IMO.
Plus be blatantly cannot be bothered with having a small child - literally never does anything with the child at all, no holidays, no activites, literally nothing at all (he spends almost every non-working waking minute at the pub, or at the golf club either playing, drinking or playing snooker)
A guy I work with has a 5yr old and is now 56 (his wife is the same age)
His other 2 kids are 22 and 20.
It was all planned too - why anyone would want to be so close to retirement freedom (prior to this he used to regularly go on about retiring at 55 at the latest) and to start again beggars belief IMO.
Plus be blatantly cannot be bothered with having a small child - literally never does anything with the child at all, no holidays, no activites, literally nothing at all (he spends almost every non-working waking minute at the pub, or at the golf club either playing, drinking or playing snooker)
I am 52, my children are 17 and 18. My partner is 8 years younger than me, thankfully she never wanted children.
Would I want to be a dad now, absoluitely f
king not. I want to retire in seven years, can you imagine being retired with a seven year old? Or 70 with a 17 year old.
I can think of nothing worse
Would I want to be a dad now, absoluitely f
king not. I want to retire in seven years, can you imagine being retired with a seven year old? Or 70 with a 17 year old.I can think of nothing worse
37 and 39 for me and I'd estimate that puts me in the oldest 2 or 3%, I.e. if I'm not the oldest dad at the school gate, I'm definitely the second oldest and that's relative to my eldests year group. I'm gonna feel ancient when my youngest starts school.
I think wealth and social background makes a huge difference. We live in a working class relatively poor area, it's still normal to have your kids in the 16-28 age range.
With a little bit of hindsight I left it as long as I would want to. Ideal would possibly have been 3 to 4 years earlier but definitely not 3 to 4 years later. My youngest will be 21 when I'm 60, that should all being well tie in nicely with the end of uni and retirement for me.
I think wealth and social background makes a huge difference. We live in a working class relatively poor area, it's still normal to have your kids in the 16-28 age range.
With a little bit of hindsight I left it as long as I would want to. Ideal would possibly have been 3 to 4 years earlier but definitely not 3 to 4 years later. My youngest will be 21 when I'm 60, that should all being well tie in nicely with the end of uni and retirement for me.
Unexpected Item In The Bagging Area said:
My wife and I met when were in our mid/late 30s which was a late start, then had kids when I was 43, 45 and 49 with the last one being later than hoped for. I m 51 now and have been a stay at home dad since day one, but unlike plenty of people my age I m very healthy and fit and have as much energy as I did 20 years ago.
I also have a young approach to parenting in that I ll play games and do silly things with them, so there s no impact on how they re being raised and hopefully that will continue until they re old enough to not need me to do those things. The only negative I can foresee is that we won t get to see so much of any grand children they produce growing into adulthood as we ll be in the ground by then, but such is life.
A stay at home dad in your 50's to 3 young kids, I'm genuinely in awe, hats off. I also have a young approach to parenting in that I ll play games and do silly things with them, so there s no impact on how they re being raised and hopefully that will continue until they re old enough to not need me to do those things. The only negative I can foresee is that we won t get to see so much of any grand children they produce growing into adulthood as we ll be in the ground by then, but such is life.
I had my children in my early-mid 30s. Now in my late 40s, I would not want to start again. Friends of my age with second, younger, wives have started producing more offspring.
I couldn't think of many things I would rather not do more. My wife wouldn't be too keen on me fathering a child with a 30 year old woman either.
I couldn't think of many things I would rather not do more. My wife wouldn't be too keen on me fathering a child with a 30 year old woman either.
Alorotom said:
I was 32 when my daughter was born and consider that quite late (43 now).
A guy I work with has a 5yr old and is now 56 (his wife is the same age)
His other 2 kids are 22 and 20.
It was all planned too - why anyone would want to be so close to retirement freedom (prior to this he used to regularly go on about retiring at 55 at the latest) and to start again beggars belief IMO.
Plus be blatantly cannot be bothered with having a small child - literally never does anything with the child at all, no holidays, no activites, literally nothing at all (he spends almost every non-working waking minute at the pub, or at the golf club either playing, drinking or playing snooker)
Sounds like it wasn't really his choice, so to speak. A guy I work with has a 5yr old and is now 56 (his wife is the same age)
His other 2 kids are 22 and 20.
It was all planned too - why anyone would want to be so close to retirement freedom (prior to this he used to regularly go on about retiring at 55 at the latest) and to start again beggars belief IMO.
Plus be blatantly cannot be bothered with having a small child - literally never does anything with the child at all, no holidays, no activites, literally nothing at all (he spends almost every non-working waking minute at the pub, or at the golf club either playing, drinking or playing snooker)
Mind you i knew a couple of dads like but younger who avoided home life like mad. Used to make up extra working hours so they could come home late, sit in the car and pretend there was an accident, volunteer for anything that had nights away. All sorts of stuff like that.
I'm 54 and have a 26, 22 and 6yo plus 2 grandkids under 3. With one eye on early retirement - well slowing down a bit at least I'm looking forward to freeing up more time for me but also to spend the time with the kids. I love being a Dad to the little one, love the interaction and the goofing around. Wouldn't change it for the world.
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