Discussion
I really need some advice on how to even bring this up to my doctor and to people I know.
I’m in my early 40s and truthfully I’ve not felt good for a while and it’s been getting progressively worse, I really am feeling low and irritable all the time, I feel like I will never find or deserve happiness and while I’m not at the point where I actively don’t want to be here anymore, thoughts like-I have nothing to look forward to and maybe fast forwarding and skipping to the end and not having to carry on feeling like this for the next 30 ish years are ones that have entered my head and I’m self aware enough to know they’re not healthy.
I just really don’t know what to do to even try to get on the road to feeling better, I also feel there is such stigma attached to telling anyone how you’re really feeling that I’m scared of doing it.
I’m in my early 40s and truthfully I’ve not felt good for a while and it’s been getting progressively worse, I really am feeling low and irritable all the time, I feel like I will never find or deserve happiness and while I’m not at the point where I actively don’t want to be here anymore, thoughts like-I have nothing to look forward to and maybe fast forwarding and skipping to the end and not having to carry on feeling like this for the next 30 ish years are ones that have entered my head and I’m self aware enough to know they’re not healthy.
I just really don’t know what to do to even try to get on the road to feeling better, I also feel there is such stigma attached to telling anyone how you’re really feeling that I’m scared of doing it.
As Badda says just make a routine appointment and have a chat to get the ball rolling, the biggest step is to realise you might need some help and you're already past that.
There's almost 15 years of PH discussion here if you really want to immerse yourself...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
All the best with it, you've done the hard bit and the post above is full of supportive folks that have been there or still are but have some experience taking the edge off.
There's almost 15 years of PH discussion here if you really want to immerse yourself...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
All the best with it, you've done the hard bit and the post above is full of supportive folks that have been there or still are but have some experience taking the edge off.
Badda said:
Book an appointment with your GP for low mood or depression. It s very much a part of the day to day workload.
This. I've had this conversation. Even verbalising how you're feeling will help, and then you'll have some options.
If you're in a financial position to do so, seeking out private talking therapy is really worth considering too. I'm biased because my wife is training in the field, but I'd specifically look for a psychodynamic counsellor if it were me.
MajorMantra said:
Badda said:
Book an appointment with your GP for low mood or depression. It s very much a part of the day to day workload.
This. I've had this conversation. Even verbalising how you're feeling will help, and then you'll have some options.
If you're in a financial position to do so, seeking out private talking therapy is really worth considering too. I'm biased because my wife is training in the field, but I'd specifically look for a psychodynamic counsellor if it were me.
I suffered with this, together with work related anxiety/stress. Spoke to my GP and was offered counselling and medication. Both helped significantly, but in addition, I also live quite close to a Buddhist temple and they offered meditation classes which were a bonus. Eventually, after 9 years I retired and very gradually, weaned myself off the medication (with GP approval/support). Still do the occasional meditation session, but otherwise I am fine.
OP when I discussed coming off medication with my GP, he explained that the meds had given me the chemical support I needed, but once I retired, the source of my depression/anxiety/stress had gone, so he gave the OK for my very gradual reduction in meds.
As others have said, by admitting that you think you have a problem, you have taken the first step. Do go to your GP. Discuss the situation and take their advice. Don’t be afraid of the meds, they will help.
Good luck
OP when I discussed coming off medication with my GP, he explained that the meds had given me the chemical support I needed, but once I retired, the source of my depression/anxiety/stress had gone, so he gave the OK for my very gradual reduction in meds.
As others have said, by admitting that you think you have a problem, you have taken the first step. Do go to your GP. Discuss the situation and take their advice. Don’t be afraid of the meds, they will help.
Good luck
Don't overthink it, just make the appointment. Your GP will know the best next steps for your area, what services are available etc.
It's important to just start the process immediately, if you feel up to it. You'll learn later (if you don't already know) that any self-care for depression has to happen when you have the capacity to do it (i.e. on the better days). If you wait till you really, really need help, you won't be able to. Depression does that to you, saps the motivation from you and stops you getting help when you need it most.
So if you feel right now like you might be able to get the ball rolling, just do it. Don't leave it. There is no shame in it, and no worry about whether you should or not, if you're wasting everyone's time, all the usual thoughts. Just forget all that, it's absolutely ok to call your GP today.
Good luck.
It's important to just start the process immediately, if you feel up to it. You'll learn later (if you don't already know) that any self-care for depression has to happen when you have the capacity to do it (i.e. on the better days). If you wait till you really, really need help, you won't be able to. Depression does that to you, saps the motivation from you and stops you getting help when you need it most.
So if you feel right now like you might be able to get the ball rolling, just do it. Don't leave it. There is no shame in it, and no worry about whether you should or not, if you're wasting everyone's time, all the usual thoughts. Just forget all that, it's absolutely ok to call your GP today.
Good luck.
GP and now the sun is getting out no matter how difficult it might seem to do so try to get outside and get some vitamin D and fresh air.
I think thankfully the "man up" thing is something you see and hear less and less and most people, certainly anyone sensible, realises it's just not as simple as that.
I think thankfully the "man up" thing is something you see and hear less and less and most people, certainly anyone sensible, realises it's just not as simple as that.
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-serv...
Here you go fella. You've taken the first step if you do this. It does get better I promise, but also it doesn't ever fully go away.
Here you go fella. You've taken the first step if you do this. It does get better I promise, but also it doesn't ever fully go away.
Thanks everyone for the advice.
I feel like even in my previous post I didn’t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I’ve been feeling.
I think it’s something I’ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I’ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I’ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don’t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like even in my previous post I didn’t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I’ve been feeling.
I think it’s something I’ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I’ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I’ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don’t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
EIRP26 said:
Thanks everyone for the advice.
I feel like even in my previous post I didn t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I ve been feeling.
I think it s something I ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep swimming man else you don't find the end of the tunnel, it is there.I feel like even in my previous post I didn t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I ve been feeling.
I think it s something I ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
EIRP26 said:
Thanks everyone for the advice.
I feel like even in my previous post I didn t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I ve been feeling.
I think it s something I ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't lose hope, what you're experiencing right now isn't the way it's going to be forever, I've been there and to far darker places I never thought I'd escape, but there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel and ways to take the edge off and work towards more long-term happiness.I feel like even in my previous post I didn t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I ve been feeling.
I think it s something I ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
I still have my lows, I'm in the midst of one right now if I'm honest, but it's a blip from my "new normal" compared with where I've been in the past and what I've learnt over the last 30 years of ups and downs means I'm better equipped to help myself a bit.
You're talking about it, that's the best thing you can.do, with Internet weirdos or people in the real world but there's no stigma with this stuff anymore, the world can be a challenge and sometimes we just need a hand.
Get the GP appointment and, if it's your thing (it's not mine), see if there are any local groups like an Andy's Mans Club or similar where you can get a bit more support with no judgement. There's a whole host of help out there but it can be a bit of a maze, hopefully your GP will help with some signposts.
Do you have any kind of employee healthcare? That sometimes includes virtual GPs or even some really great mental health support, if not hopefully the NHS options will be a help.
All the best.
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff