Career break / Leave of absence
Discussion
Has anybody taken a long-term career break and subsequently got their mojo back to return to the same role?
Due to various family issues in the last couple of years and partly following conversations on here (the "Facing another 10 years work or more" and retirement and finance threads) got me thinking whether to step back from a high-pressure career that I’m no longer sure I want.
I turned 52 recently. I work for a well-known professional services firm, earning ~£150k. On paper it’s a great role, but in reality it comes with long hours, weekend work, and a level of stress that’s becoming harder to justify.
Family-wise: married, with an 18-year-old stepdaughter and a 7-year-old daughter. So still a long runway of school/university years ahead, plus the usual long-term financial responsibilities.
Financially, we’re in a strong position if I keep working:
£2m mortgage-free home
~£450k in pensions
£50k in ISAs
~£640k in investments outside wrappers
~£200k cash / premium bonds
There’s also a potential £500k IHT exposure from a recent gift (over the next 6 years), which is why a chunk is currently sitting outside tax shelters.
The “sensible” plan had always been: keep going a few more years, max pensions/ISAs, reduce tax exposure, and build a bigger buffer. Maybe push for Director—though realistically I’ve lost the appetite for the politics and effort that would require.
The problem: I’ve not got the energy—or desire—to keep grinding. Being asked to set 2026 objectives just reinforced how disconnected I feel.
Outside work, there’s a lot pulling me in a different direction:
More time with my wife and actually being present with the kids
Spending time with my 82-year-old dad while I still can
Renovating a long-neglected inherited property (currently derelict, but could be a future retreat)
And, frankly, just having space to breathe and get on top of life
Over Christmas, we narrowed things down to three options:
1) Request a leave of absence Use the time to reset, focus on family and personal projects, and see if the motivation to return comes back. If not, walk away at the end.
2) Resign Take some time out, then potentially return to work later (likely at lower pay / lower stress) to cover living costs rather than relying heavily on savings.
3) Stay put Financially safest. Personally… probably the worst option.
I tried option 1 and I have been granted a years leave of absence which will begin in the next month. Transitioning my rile has turned into further stress but there is a light at the end of the tunnel now.
A few additional factors:
- The job market isn’t great, and I’m realistic about the challenges of finding something new at 50+
- I used to contract for ~10 years and never struggled for work, but the market (and my willingness to travel / grind) has changed
- My wife stepped away from work last year (~£60k previously) and has been happy focusing on home life for the past year but is now thinking of stepping back into a lower-stress role (me being more available is an enabler for this)
- My dad’s health has declined since COVID—diabetes, depression, and increasing dependency—so time with him feels more important than ever
Has anyone here taken a similar step back at this stage of life? Any regrets—or things you wish you’d done differently?
Due to various family issues in the last couple of years and partly following conversations on here (the "Facing another 10 years work or more" and retirement and finance threads) got me thinking whether to step back from a high-pressure career that I’m no longer sure I want.
I turned 52 recently. I work for a well-known professional services firm, earning ~£150k. On paper it’s a great role, but in reality it comes with long hours, weekend work, and a level of stress that’s becoming harder to justify.
Family-wise: married, with an 18-year-old stepdaughter and a 7-year-old daughter. So still a long runway of school/university years ahead, plus the usual long-term financial responsibilities.
Financially, we’re in a strong position if I keep working:
£2m mortgage-free home
~£450k in pensions
£50k in ISAs
~£640k in investments outside wrappers
~£200k cash / premium bonds
There’s also a potential £500k IHT exposure from a recent gift (over the next 6 years), which is why a chunk is currently sitting outside tax shelters.
The “sensible” plan had always been: keep going a few more years, max pensions/ISAs, reduce tax exposure, and build a bigger buffer. Maybe push for Director—though realistically I’ve lost the appetite for the politics and effort that would require.
The problem: I’ve not got the energy—or desire—to keep grinding. Being asked to set 2026 objectives just reinforced how disconnected I feel.
Outside work, there’s a lot pulling me in a different direction:
More time with my wife and actually being present with the kids
Spending time with my 82-year-old dad while I still can
Renovating a long-neglected inherited property (currently derelict, but could be a future retreat)
And, frankly, just having space to breathe and get on top of life
Over Christmas, we narrowed things down to three options:
1) Request a leave of absence Use the time to reset, focus on family and personal projects, and see if the motivation to return comes back. If not, walk away at the end.
2) Resign Take some time out, then potentially return to work later (likely at lower pay / lower stress) to cover living costs rather than relying heavily on savings.
3) Stay put Financially safest. Personally… probably the worst option.
I tried option 1 and I have been granted a years leave of absence which will begin in the next month. Transitioning my rile has turned into further stress but there is a light at the end of the tunnel now.
A few additional factors:
- The job market isn’t great, and I’m realistic about the challenges of finding something new at 50+
- I used to contract for ~10 years and never struggled for work, but the market (and my willingness to travel / grind) has changed
- My wife stepped away from work last year (~£60k previously) and has been happy focusing on home life for the past year but is now thinking of stepping back into a lower-stress role (me being more available is an enabler for this)
- My dad’s health has declined since COVID—diabetes, depression, and increasing dependency—so time with him feels more important than ever
Has anyone here taken a similar step back at this stage of life? Any regrets—or things you wish you’d done differently?
Go for it. See what the year feels like and then if you like it go longer. You could always down-size at some point and share time between a £1m house and the retreat and live off the equity.
No reason not to put the inheritance linked gift in to a wrapper, you would still have time to get some out to pay IHT if needed.
I hope you enjoy it. I am sure you can always look at a consultancy role after a year or a lower paid job with less hassle.
No reason not to put the inheritance linked gift in to a wrapper, you would still have time to get some out to pay IHT if needed.
I hope you enjoy it. I am sure you can always look at a consultancy role after a year or a lower paid job with less hassle.
You somehow need to balance the dynamic between you being in a super stressful but well rewarded role and the Wife not working.
I'd be looking at the options of a lower stress role (you're obviously very good at your job) and the Wife working part time to bring some money in and not upset home life too much
Might be a touchy subject for some, but very little point in you working yourself to death while your partner cruises around (especially when you've got a child at School).
I'd be looking at the options of a lower stress role (you're obviously very good at your job) and the Wife working part time to bring some money in and not upset home life too much
Might be a touchy subject for some, but very little point in you working yourself to death while your partner cruises around (especially when you've got a child at School).
Caddyshack said:
Go for it. See what the year feels like and then if you like it go longer. You could always down-size at some point and share time between a £1m house and the retreat and live off the equity.
No reason not to put the inheritance linked gift in to a wrapper, you would still have time to get some out to pay IHT if needed.
I hope you enjoy it. I am sure you can always look at a consultancy role after a year or a lower paid job with less hassle.
Thanks - I'm hoping it's a chance to get a load of long-standing to-do items done and have a reset of my health and wellbeing, maybe learn some new skills before rejoining the workforce again.No reason not to put the inheritance linked gift in to a wrapper, you would still have time to get some out to pay IHT if needed.
I hope you enjoy it. I am sure you can always look at a consultancy role after a year or a lower paid job with less hassle.
And yes, that's my thinking re downsizing but it will be a long way down the line. I can tell already though that unless the seeds of the idea are kept in mind I can see it being a big wrench.
And on the tax front, we've taken advantage of 3 ISA allowances and Junior ISA this year, maxed what we could last year and we have maxed pension contributions when working between the 2 of us but I think that's the limit as to how quickly the funds can be sheltered in any one year.
andrew-6xade said:
You somehow need to balance the dynamic between you being in a super stressful but well rewarded role and the Wife not working.
I'd be looking at the options of a lower stress role (you're obviously very good at your job) and the Wife working part time to bring some money in and not upset home life too much
Might be a touchy subject for some, but very little point in you working yourself to death while your partner cruises around (especially when you've got a child at School).
Indeed. My wife is keen to get back to work - she was working until last spring when the organisation she was working for was hit by a cut in funding due to Trump's agenda. She has always handled most of the family commitments alongside working - she has enjoyed the last year but my break will be an opportunity for her to get out of the house a bit again which I think she is actually looking forward to. For the time being though even if she goes back full time we would be looking at a long term drop in our income so we'll need to see where we want the balance to lie after a reset. 52 sounds very young for effectively retiring.I'd be looking at the options of a lower stress role (you're obviously very good at your job) and the Wife working part time to bring some money in and not upset home life too much
Might be a touchy subject for some, but very little point in you working yourself to death while your partner cruises around (especially when you've got a child at School).
I will have handed over so many accumulated duties for the leave of absence I do wonder whether going back again in a year's time with a mind to say No more to the extra side-of-desk activities might mean the job would be bearable. At the moment I can't see myself going back but maybe I'll feel different after the reset.
MX5Rob said:
rm
Family-wise: married, with an 18-year-old stepdaughter and a 7-year-old daughter. So still a long runway of school/university years ahead, plus the usual long-term financial responsibilities.
Financially, we re in a strong position if I keep working:
£2m mortgage-free home
~£450k in pensions
£50k in ISAs
~£640k in investments outside wrappers
~£200k cash / premium bonds
There s also a potential £500k IHT exposure from a recent gift (over the next 6 years), which is why a chunk is currently sitting outside tax shelters.
The sensible plan had always been: keep going a few more years, max pensions/ISAs, reduce tax exposure, and build a bigger buffer. Maybe push for Director though realistically I ve lost the appetite for the politics and effort that would require.
The problem: I ve not got the energy or desire to keep grinding. Being asked to set 2026 objectives just reinforced how disconnected I feel.
Surely with those kind of finances you are more than able to support the family without any real worry about your income?Family-wise: married, with an 18-year-old stepdaughter and a 7-year-old daughter. So still a long runway of school/university years ahead, plus the usual long-term financial responsibilities.
Financially, we re in a strong position if I keep working:
£2m mortgage-free home
~£450k in pensions
£50k in ISAs
~£640k in investments outside wrappers
~£200k cash / premium bonds
There s also a potential £500k IHT exposure from a recent gift (over the next 6 years), which is why a chunk is currently sitting outside tax shelters.
The sensible plan had always been: keep going a few more years, max pensions/ISAs, reduce tax exposure, and build a bigger buffer. Maybe push for Director though realistically I ve lost the appetite for the politics and effort that would require.
The problem: I ve not got the energy or desire to keep grinding. Being asked to set 2026 objectives just reinforced how disconnected I feel.
It sounds like the job is the main issue though, life is far too short to do something you don't enjoy. Do you have a skill set that can be adapted to other industries/roles? If you are potentially looking at Director level/C Suite roles than I'll be amazed if you couldn't side step into a different industry completely if you wanted to?
Life is short, time is priceless and your never get it back, hope it you can find a solution to allows you to enjoy time you spend at work.
Yes. Rationalising things, finances shouldn't really be a worry as long as we have a modest income - the absence of a clear plan right now is the biggest concern but I have time to manage that. We are all born and bred in London and we all have various roots here which does alter the financial equation both in terms of future outflows and how much equity can be released but finances aren't the real issue.
My current role is pretty niche and related to tech rollouts which are always under compressed timescales - which is the root of the work-life balance issues. I do have transferrable skills though but I'm conscious a less-demanding role may also feel a comedown. The irony is that I transitioned from contracting to a permanent role over the last decade with a view to taking on some new challenges and those have ended up being a part of the problem now plus now being squeezed by parenting challenges and ageing parents/in-laws and other relatives.
Having the opportunity to take the break is great but there is an element of regret at needing to take it which, no matter how sensible the decision is, it will take a bit of coming to terms with. I am conscious it's very much a first world problem.
My current role is pretty niche and related to tech rollouts which are always under compressed timescales - which is the root of the work-life balance issues. I do have transferrable skills though but I'm conscious a less-demanding role may also feel a comedown. The irony is that I transitioned from contracting to a permanent role over the last decade with a view to taking on some new challenges and those have ended up being a part of the problem now plus now being squeezed by parenting challenges and ageing parents/in-laws and other relatives.
Having the opportunity to take the break is great but there is an element of regret at needing to take it which, no matter how sensible the decision is, it will take a bit of coming to terms with. I am conscious it's very much a first world problem.
I know of two people in a similar situation, one now works as a postman (finished by lunchtime) and the other takes shifts as and when connecting appliances for John Lewis.
They were Directors and didn’t see the point, the jobs they’ve took keep them busy and ticking over until they retire, and of course they take no work stress home with them.
They were Directors and didn’t see the point, the jobs they’ve took keep them busy and ticking over until they retire, and of course they take no work stress home with them.
I would echo the comments about the job being the issue.
I’m in a not dissimilar position, a bit older just turned 60, and financially more than able to just stop working tomorrow, but I still love what I do so I’ve actually opted to take my DB pension now (there’s no financial reason not to) and keep
working full time.
I would focus on finding a role or a project within your organisation that you actually enjoy, or try to move sideways into something else.
We spend a huge proportion of our active lives working, if you can find something that seems rewarding (not just financially) it’s a huge boost to your wellbeing in my experience.
I’m in a not dissimilar position, a bit older just turned 60, and financially more than able to just stop working tomorrow, but I still love what I do so I’ve actually opted to take my DB pension now (there’s no financial reason not to) and keep
working full time.
I would focus on finding a role or a project within your organisation that you actually enjoy, or try to move sideways into something else.
We spend a huge proportion of our active lives working, if you can find something that seems rewarding (not just financially) it’s a huge boost to your wellbeing in my experience.
MX5Rob said:
The irony is that I transitioned from contracting to a permanent role over the last decade with a view to taking on some new challenges and those have ended up being a part of the problem now plus now being squeezed by parenting challenges and ageing parents/in-laws and other relatives.
It sounds like it isn't just the job/role than, but the competiting pressure of time out side work, and that clashing with your own dedication to the job?It might be worth having a chat with your boss of what the organisation can do to help interms of changing your role etc. A career break whilst you go through a busy time at home may be helpful?
MX5Rob said:
Having the opportunity to take the break is great but there is an element of regret at needing to take it which, no matter how sensible the decision is, it will take a bit of coming to terms with. I am conscious it's very much a first world problem.
If you are in a senior enough position in the organisation and they value your skill/experience, maybe ask for some coaching or time dedicated for personal/leadership development through HR?Don't beat your self up about any 'Regret' on a personal or professional level, life is too short for that. Find a way to move on and focus on the future.
I took a lower paid role with much less stress to ease me into retirement and it's been a real gamechanger. I work from home, start at half eight and finish at half four. As I'm bottom of the rung there is no expectation to go above and beyond, that is very much up to you (I sometimes do as the company are great to work for).
It's been a real eye opener and if I can spend the next few years until retirement doing this then that will be great.
I wish my wife could do it too but, unfortunately, she has to carry on to get the next half of her company sale payout. That's three and a bit years away then she will be stopping immediately.
It very much depends on you really I think. Some people thrive on stress, responsibility, position and 'the thrill of the chase' and all the rewards that come with that. I've found I don't, and my health is much better now.
It's been a real eye opener and if I can spend the next few years until retirement doing this then that will be great.
I wish my wife could do it too but, unfortunately, she has to carry on to get the next half of her company sale payout. That's three and a bit years away then she will be stopping immediately.
It very much depends on you really I think. Some people thrive on stress, responsibility, position and 'the thrill of the chase' and all the rewards that come with that. I've found I don't, and my health is much better now.
The only thing is - as you earn more the balance changes between input/output, the gulf widens.
I.e you could find a job on £75k and I seriously doubt it would be half the work. You could also probably find a role on £100k which is just as much work as now. And often you may find there’s a role that’s £180k and less work than now.
These days I work probably less hard than I did in early jobs in my industry but I am rewarded many multiples more.
I’d rather suck up a few years of something I don’t care about and never need to worry about working again vs have to work many years in a stress free half the salary role.
I.e you could find a job on £75k and I seriously doubt it would be half the work. You could also probably find a role on £100k which is just as much work as now. And often you may find there’s a role that’s £180k and less work than now.
These days I work probably less hard than I did in early jobs in my industry but I am rewarded many multiples more.
I’d rather suck up a few years of something I don’t care about and never need to worry about working again vs have to work many years in a stress free half the salary role.
MX5Rob said:
Yes. Rationalising things, finances shouldn't really be a worry as long as we have a modest income - the absence of a clear plan right now is the biggest concern but I have time to manage that. We are all born and bred in London and we all have various roots here which does alter the financial equation both in terms of future outflows and how much equity can be released but finances aren't the real issue.
My current role is pretty niche and related to tech rollouts which are always under compressed timescales - which is the root of the work-life balance issues. I do have transferrable skills though but I'm conscious a less-demanding role may also feel a comedown. The irony is that I transitioned from contracting to a permanent role over the last decade with a view to taking on some new challenges and those have ended up being a part of the problem now plus now being squeezed by parenting challenges and ageing parents/in-laws and other relatives.
Having the opportunity to take the break is great but there is an element of regret at needing to take it which, no matter how sensible the decision is, it will take a bit of coming to terms with. I am conscious it's very much a first world problem.
I’ve seen a few people go through this (myself included). I’d say don’t underestimate the impact of stress on your body and mind - it sounds like you’ve naturally come to the conclusion that the stress is the trouble, not the effort.My current role is pretty niche and related to tech rollouts which are always under compressed timescales - which is the root of the work-life balance issues. I do have transferrable skills though but I'm conscious a less-demanding role may also feel a comedown. The irony is that I transitioned from contracting to a permanent role over the last decade with a view to taking on some new challenges and those have ended up being a part of the problem now plus now being squeezed by parenting challenges and ageing parents/in-laws and other relatives.
Having the opportunity to take the break is great but there is an element of regret at needing to take it which, no matter how sensible the decision is, it will take a bit of coming to terms with. I am conscious it's very much a first world problem.
Those figures could work financially if you’re prudent - take advice.
Primarily, you’ve made the call so take some time, see how you feel. Don’t count the days down so that you start stressing again about the day you go back.
Give yourself time - don’t panic and change plans after a couple of months when you’ll feel like a caged lion.
Good luck.
I worked in London for 25 years with long commute etc, last 9 I had health issues that I battled through
Had epiphany on dog walk, my health was s
te, I had a million pound house, great family but didn't want to retire with no soul after another 15 plus years working for increasingly obnoxious management. Plus my career had plateaued and wife was out of work
So escaped London bubble at 45, relocated to Scotland and have our own hospitality business. Feels like part time work after 12 to 14 hour days Inc commutes. And income net of tax actually decent
My mental motto is YOLO, folk said I'm brave, I said id be braver to stay in a job that yielded no satisfaction as a slave
Your life, live it. You have heaps of equity/cash you can't take to the grave
Had epiphany on dog walk, my health was s
te, I had a million pound house, great family but didn't want to retire with no soul after another 15 plus years working for increasingly obnoxious management. Plus my career had plateaued and wife was out of workSo escaped London bubble at 45, relocated to Scotland and have our own hospitality business. Feels like part time work after 12 to 14 hour days Inc commutes. And income net of tax actually decent
My mental motto is YOLO, folk said I'm brave, I said id be braver to stay in a job that yielded no satisfaction as a slave
Your life, live it. You have heaps of equity/cash you can't take to the grave
With what you’ve posted about your finances op you already know you could stop work completely and not worry too much about finances.
I guess you have to work out how much you need to how much you want per month.
Just to give you some insight,I’m on 45k a year,support a family of 4,pay a mortgage and all bills including food and a car loan and still manage to save around 700pm quite easily. So I’m quite comfortable on 2.2k pm
I know a 2m house will have bigger bills but I guess I’m trying to say with what you’ve posted your in a great position. Put your health and family first not work.
I guess you have to work out how much you need to how much you want per month.
Just to give you some insight,I’m on 45k a year,support a family of 4,pay a mortgage and all bills including food and a car loan and still manage to save around 700pm quite easily. So I’m quite comfortable on 2.2k pm
I know a 2m house will have bigger bills but I guess I’m trying to say with what you’ve posted your in a great position. Put your health and family first not work.
Thanks for all of the comments. I know on paper I'm in a good place but it does help having the reassurance.
Okgo - finances look odd as my father had some rental properties which he self-managed until his health failed 6 years ago. We've disposed of these in the last couple of years and he has gifted the proceeds to my siblings and I and the amount is more than can be ISA'ed or contributed to pension. A good problem to have; I'm struggling as it is taking a step back now to rebalance work/life, without the cushion there is no way I'd contemplate it.
Gangzoom - funnily enough, I do have the opportunity for career counselling / leadership development through work and it was taking that last summer that brought me to the conclusion that taking the break was the right thing to do at this stage. Finances allow and there are a number of non-work-related to-do's that I should prioritise right now. That said, it has taken 9 months to get the various building blocks in place.
I suppose no matter how much it looks like the right thing to do - like any big change it still feels a risk but all of your comments here are very reassuring that I am doing the right thing.
I'm finding the last few weeks before I go on leave difficult, having to let team members know that I'm leaving and handing over challenging activities which still need huge effort from my colleagues in the coming months feels like a bit of a cop-out that I'm not used to. The knowledge that I may need to come back to the same colleagues at the end of the leave of absence does add another dimension to being conscientious in the run-in. Officially, I have paid leave to take before I go on leave of absence - I am expecting to need to pick up a few queries and the occasional client review meeting in that time in the same way I would possibly have to do if I took leave at any other time so it will be a bit of a gradual transition for me. I have a bright light at the end of the tunnel though.
Okgo - finances look odd as my father had some rental properties which he self-managed until his health failed 6 years ago. We've disposed of these in the last couple of years and he has gifted the proceeds to my siblings and I and the amount is more than can be ISA'ed or contributed to pension. A good problem to have; I'm struggling as it is taking a step back now to rebalance work/life, without the cushion there is no way I'd contemplate it.
Gangzoom - funnily enough, I do have the opportunity for career counselling / leadership development through work and it was taking that last summer that brought me to the conclusion that taking the break was the right thing to do at this stage. Finances allow and there are a number of non-work-related to-do's that I should prioritise right now. That said, it has taken 9 months to get the various building blocks in place.
Abtj said:
Primarily, you ve made the call so take some time, see how you feel. Don t count the days down so that you start stressing again about the day you go back.
Give yourself time - don t panic and change plans after a couple of months when you ll feel like a caged lion.
This has reminded me of taking 3 months out to go travelling 20+ years ago and going back to the exact same job as though I'd never been away. Good advice - thank you.Give yourself time - don t panic and change plans after a couple of months when you ll feel like a caged lion.
I suppose no matter how much it looks like the right thing to do - like any big change it still feels a risk but all of your comments here are very reassuring that I am doing the right thing.
I'm finding the last few weeks before I go on leave difficult, having to let team members know that I'm leaving and handing over challenging activities which still need huge effort from my colleagues in the coming months feels like a bit of a cop-out that I'm not used to. The knowledge that I may need to come back to the same colleagues at the end of the leave of absence does add another dimension to being conscientious in the run-in. Officially, I have paid leave to take before I go on leave of absence - I am expecting to need to pick up a few queries and the occasional client review meeting in that time in the same way I would possibly have to do if I took leave at any other time so it will be a bit of a gradual transition for me. I have a bright light at the end of the tunnel though.
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