The optimal frozen sausages temperature?
Discussion
Ideally, I'd like -20°C.
It provides extra hardness for less mushrooming of the end hit with the hammer, whilst not trading that off against excessive brittleness that could lead to a porcine shard injury.
It's a fine balance, but as an aside I'm impressed with your freezer thermostat accuracy!
It provides extra hardness for less mushrooming of the end hit with the hammer, whilst not trading that off against excessive brittleness that could lead to a porcine shard injury.
It's a fine balance, but as an aside I'm impressed with your freezer thermostat accuracy!
They might gain a few degrees in temperature during transportation between your freezer and the intended victim's lawn.
You don't want them to get too warm or the hammer will just mash them into a soggy, meaty splodge on the lawn and not achieve full penetration into the ground, so maybe go a little colder to allow for sausage thermal creep...
There's a lot to take into account before hammering sausages into lawns.
You don't want them to get too warm or the hammer will just mash them into a soggy, meaty splodge on the lawn and not achieve full penetration into the ground, so maybe go a little colder to allow for sausage thermal creep...
There's a lot to take into account before hammering sausages into lawns.
Sway said:
Ideally, I'd like -20°C.
It provides extra hardness for less mushrooming of the end hit with the hammer, whilst not trading that off against excessive brittleness that could lead to a porcine shard injury.
It's a fine balance, but as an aside I'm impressed with your freezer thermostat accuracy!
Hammering the sausage directly? That’s a mug’s game my friend. You need a sacrificial black pudding slice. It provides extra hardness for less mushrooming of the end hit with the hammer, whilst not trading that off against excessive brittleness that could lead to a porcine shard injury.
It's a fine balance, but as an aside I'm impressed with your freezer thermostat accuracy!
miniman said:
Sway said:
Ideally, I'd like -20°C.
It provides extra hardness for less mushrooming of the end hit with the hammer, whilst not trading that off against excessive brittleness that could lead to a porcine shard injury.
It's a fine balance, but as an aside I'm impressed with your freezer thermostat accuracy!
Hammering the sausage directly? That s a mug s game my friend. You need a sacrificial black pudding slice. It provides extra hardness for less mushrooming of the end hit with the hammer, whilst not trading that off against excessive brittleness that could lead to a porcine shard injury.
It's a fine balance, but as an aside I'm impressed with your freezer thermostat accuracy!
Don't listen to these new "frozen sausage coaches" that are trying to ride the bandwagon. They've not gone through the years of trial and error, nor any form of certification.
(certification available through Sway's Pork Sword Masters Academy Inc., all rights reserved)
As a newbie to all this, should I be looking for something with a high meat content such as 'heck' or would something with a smaller percentage, say 'Richmond' be better? Other makes are available...
Also, should they be just pork or are other types more suitable, IE Cumberland? I expect the 'pork and apple ' type sausages introduce weak spots increasing the likelihood of breaking so have dismissed them.
Then I need to consider chipolata or normal fat sausage?
Finally, what would be the best hammer to reduce rounding on the top and ensure good penetration? Would a rubber mallet be better than say my claw hammer or do I need to buy something specific for the job??
Who knew this would be so complicated...
Also, should they be just pork or are other types more suitable, IE Cumberland? I expect the 'pork and apple ' type sausages introduce weak spots increasing the likelihood of breaking so have dismissed them.
Then I need to consider chipolata or normal fat sausage?
Finally, what would be the best hammer to reduce rounding on the top and ensure good penetration? Would a rubber mallet be better than say my claw hammer or do I need to buy something specific for the job??
Who knew this would be so complicated...
I've 3D printed an adapter for a Makita 18V nailer to take Herta frankfurters. While not a sausage traditionally used in British lawns, I find the casings are smooth and balistically optimal for good penetration without predibbing. Also handy because they're sold in magazines of 10 which makes reloading faster.
S2r said:
As a newbie to all this, should I be looking for something with a high meat content such as 'heck' or would something with a smaller percentage, say 'Richmond' be better? Other makes are available...
Also, should they be just pork or are other types more suitable, IE Cumberland? I expect the 'pork and apple ' type sausages introduce weak spots increasing the likelihood of breaking so have dismissed them.
Then I need to consider chipolata or normal fat sausage?
Finally, what would be the best hammer to reduce rounding on the top and ensure good penetration? Would a rubber mallet be better than say my claw hammer or do I need to buy something specific for the job??
Who knew this would be so complicated...
There's many factors which are dependant on location, geology and target 'agent provocateur' animal that'll actually perform the artistic revenge act.Also, should they be just pork or are other types more suitable, IE Cumberland? I expect the 'pork and apple ' type sausages introduce weak spots increasing the likelihood of breaking so have dismissed them.
Then I need to consider chipolata or normal fat sausage?
Finally, what would be the best hammer to reduce rounding on the top and ensure good penetration? Would a rubber mallet be better than say my claw hammer or do I need to buy something specific for the job??
Who knew this would be so complicated...
For example, more urban areas need to consider likely depth of soil and the omnivorous nature of target species (rats and foxes). Rural is more complex, as you could be aiming for interaction with herbivores (rabbits), omnivores (foxes, gulls, etc.) or carnivores such as the holy grail - the TB infected Badger.
From here, meat content (or even in rare cases fully vegetarian - but never quorn or Linda McCartney), sausage length/thickness/fat content can all be determined.
Tools are generally more straightforward, with the only question being whether a dibbler is required - any self respecting member of the National Association of Sausage Revenge Agents (NASRA) would have one in their standard toolkit as standard just in case. Rubber mallet for initial insertion, once over 90% inserted there's sufficient lateral support to use almost anything (I'm old school and go with a sawn off broomhandle - but the plod really frown upon these) to get the below surface insertion depth required.
Jermy Claxon said:
I've 3D printed an adapter for a Makita 18V nailer to take Herta frankfurters. While not a sausage traditionally used in British lawns, I find the casings are smooth and balistically optimal for good penetration without predibbing. Also handy because they're sold in magazines of 10 which makes reloading faster.
Honestly, I would love it if Colin Furze could knock together some sort of automatic sausage hammering machine 😂The Makita is handy, but please don't misunderstand, I wouldn't use anything less than locally-sourced butchers bangers, pre-shaped and -20 (storage, -18 on site) for a detatched house. But when you're doing 3 or 4 terraced council lawns in a night, the automation really helps.
Did a Grade II listed tennis lawn last month, venison, really nice job. But never again, the effing paperwork...
Did a Grade II listed tennis lawn last month, venison, really nice job. But never again, the effing paperwork...
Sway said:
miniman said:
Sway said:
Ideally, I'd like -20°C.
It provides extra hardness for less mushrooming of the end hit with the hammer, whilst not trading that off against excessive brittleness that could lead to a porcine shard injury.
It's a fine balance, but as an aside I'm impressed with your freezer thermostat accuracy!
Hammering the sausage directly? That s a mug s game my friend. You need a sacrificial black pudding slice. It provides extra hardness for less mushrooming of the end hit with the hammer, whilst not trading that off against excessive brittleness that could lead to a porcine shard injury.
It's a fine balance, but as an aside I'm impressed with your freezer thermostat accuracy!
Don't listen to these new "frozen sausage coaches" that are trying to ride the bandwagon. They've not gone through the years of trial and error, nor any form of certification.
(certification available through Sway's Pork Sword Masters Academy Inc., all rights reserved)
This is all you need - https://www.turnertoolhire.com/product/hand-auger-...
No need for a hammer at all & your sausage of choice needn't be totally frozen, at all.
Best of all, no grass stain evidence on your knees.
14 times as fast, too.
No need for a hammer at all & your sausage of choice needn't be totally frozen, at all.
Best of all, no grass stain evidence on your knees.
14 times as fast, too.
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