Potential interview issues...
Discussion
I was recently contacted by a headhunter for a director level position - a big step up.
I am not looking to move jobs and enjoy the job and company and have good progression prospects where i am and excellent flexibility and package.
I explain this whenever I get a call from a recruiter but this time they were really selling it. Said that I could have all the same flexibility, compresses hours, hybrid as needed, all to fit around current family commitments.
I agreed after a few phone calls to meet up for a chat with the MD. This was never meant to be an interview, it was casual as I said I wasn't necessarily looking to move and don't want to waste anyone's time. A meeting would involve a 1.5 hour journey, taking potential time off work and organising someone to take my children to school.
Since agreeing to meet, twice they have asked to rearrange at times that are inconvenient and now is asking me to rearrange for a third time.
This has reaffirmed in my mind that this is not the type of company I want to work for as it has given off a feeling that their time is more important than mine and the messages come across that there is frustration that I cant change timings at the last minute.
Would this put you off in this situation and how would you handle it?
I am not looking to move jobs and enjoy the job and company and have good progression prospects where i am and excellent flexibility and package.
I explain this whenever I get a call from a recruiter but this time they were really selling it. Said that I could have all the same flexibility, compresses hours, hybrid as needed, all to fit around current family commitments.
I agreed after a few phone calls to meet up for a chat with the MD. This was never meant to be an interview, it was casual as I said I wasn't necessarily looking to move and don't want to waste anyone's time. A meeting would involve a 1.5 hour journey, taking potential time off work and organising someone to take my children to school.
Since agreeing to meet, twice they have asked to rearrange at times that are inconvenient and now is asking me to rearrange for a third time.
This has reaffirmed in my mind that this is not the type of company I want to work for as it has given off a feeling that their time is more important than mine and the messages come across that there is frustration that I cant change timings at the last minute.
Would this put you off in this situation and how would you handle it?
Gary29 said:
If your heart isn't in it on day 0, then I can't see how that is going to improve.
Are you asking how to walk away?
Acutally yes... that would be helpful. Are you asking how to walk away?
The recruiter who i was in touch with handed my number to the MD and he has been messaging me. I don't want to send a long message but want to be able to say thanks but no thanks in the most polite way.
Yes it would, and I think my response if i didn't want to burn bridges would be something along the lines of "thank you for your interest in pursuing me for the role, however it appears that your schedule is a little turbulent at the moment. I remain open to the possibility of future discussions, but perhaps for now we ought to cease forcing a position that you're not ready to accommodate."
Or just simply ghost them, you don't owe them anything
Or just simply ghost them, you don't owe them anything
Nemophilist said:
I am not looking to move jobs and enjoy the job and company and have good progression prospects where i am and excellent flexibility and package.
Flexibility is something that people often don't put enough value on until it's too late.Nemophilist said:
I get a call from a recruiter but this time they were really selling it. Said that I could have all the same flexibility, compresses hours, hybrid as needed, all to fit around current family commitments.
A recruiter will say literally anything to get you in the post so they earn their commission. The only people that can confirm all that stuff is the employer themselves, and of course they may also be looking to say what is needed to get you there.Nemophilist said:
I agreed after a few phone calls to meet up for a chat with the MD. This was never meant to be an interview, it was casual as I said I wasn't necessarily looking to move and don't want to waste anyone's time. A meeting would involve a 1.5 hour journey, taking potential time off work and organising someone to take my children to school.
Which doesn't sound especially convenient for the normal day-to-day once you are working for them.Nemophilist said:
Since agreeing to meet, twice they have asked to rearrange at times that are inconvenient and now is asking me to rearrange for a third time.
This has reaffirmed in my mind that this is not the type of company I want to work for as it has given off a feeling that their time is more important than mine and the messages come across that there is frustration that I cant change timings at the last minute.
Would this put you off in this situation and how would you handle it?
It's a two-way street. At this stage they should be doing their utmost to woo you to the job, as much as you selling yourself to them.This has reaffirmed in my mind that this is not the type of company I want to work for as it has given off a feeling that their time is more important than mine and the messages come across that there is frustration that I cant change timings at the last minute.
Would this put you off in this situation and how would you handle it?
If it was me, I'd politely decline to take it any further as I'd decided to stay put for now.
You gain nothing by telling them that you're fed up of being messed around, and if it's like that now, what would it be like once you are there?
Jermy Claxon said:
A director position, but you're not quite up to the challenge of formulating an email to reject an interview..?
I don't wish to be rude, but surely you can cope.
Thanks! this is exactly what my imposter syndrome brain is telling me I don't wish to be rude, but surely you can cope.

I don't need someone to formulate an email. Its being done via text anyway.
Its been helpful to hear from others that they would feel the same.
Crudeoink said:
Just say the extra thinking time because of the rearranged meetings has allowed you to realise that the position is not the best fit for you at this time. Wish them all the best in finding a suitable candidate for the role and leave it at that
This is how I would have responded. With one company, they wanted me to travel 3 hours for a second meeting with the MD and since I was not too bothered about the role, I said that if they wanted a second meeting, then the meeting had to be a bit closer to me. Nemophilist said:
Since agreeing to meet, twice they have asked to rearrange at times that are inconvenient and now is asking me to rearrange for a third time.
Would this put you off in this situation and how would you handle it?
Yes, it would put me off.Would this put you off in this situation and how would you handle it?
If the MD can't manage his diary, it's a pretty poor MD.
Id be sending somethng like this
Having reflected on things, I think it’s probably best that I withdraw from the process at this stage.
As I mentioned from the outset, I wasn’t actively looking to move and only agreed to meet because the opportunity sounded worth an initial informal conversation. However, with the meeting now needing to be rearranged again, it has become difficult to manage around work and family commitments.
It has also made me feel that the fit may not be quite right for me, particularly as flexibility and respect for existing commitments are very important factors in any move I would consider.
Thank you again for your time and for considering me. I wish you and the business all the best.
Having reflected on things, I think it’s probably best that I withdraw from the process at this stage.
As I mentioned from the outset, I wasn’t actively looking to move and only agreed to meet because the opportunity sounded worth an initial informal conversation. However, with the meeting now needing to be rearranged again, it has become difficult to manage around work and family commitments.
It has also made me feel that the fit may not be quite right for me, particularly as flexibility and respect for existing commitments are very important factors in any move I would consider.
Thank you again for your time and for considering me. I wish you and the business all the best.
Vsix and Vtec said:
Yes it would, and I think my response if i didn't want to burn bridges would be something along the lines of "thank you for your interest in pursuing me for the role, however it appears that your schedule is a little turbulent at the moment. I remain open to the possibility of future discussions, but perhaps for now we ought to cease forcing a position that you're not ready to accommodate."
Or just simply ghost them, you don't owe them anything
That’s not just burning the bridge, it’s full on napalm in a with passive aggressive fuse. Or just simply ghost them, you don't owe them anything
Just thank them for their time, after considerable reflection, I remain fully committed to my current role and due to my personal circumstances feel the time isn’t right for a step to such a significant strategic role. Put the blame on yourself, rather than having a pretty feeble dig at them.
It sounds to me like the MD leads a chaotic existence. Perhaps he’s disorganised, perhaps he’s run ragged due to being a director down. Either way it doesn’t sound encouraging.
Your OP reads like you already know the role is a bridge too far (experience and ability to commit fully with the needs of your current family life).
Take the more natural progression where you currently are and a Director role will present itself (whether in the current company or somewhere else) when the timing is right.
Once you’ve made it clear to the MD that this new opportunity is not for you, they’re unlikely to return to you so it matters little how you withdraw. Just be pleasant and firm - it’s pretty unlikely you’re the only candidate anyway.
Your OP reads like you already know the role is a bridge too far (experience and ability to commit fully with the needs of your current family life).
Take the more natural progression where you currently are and a Director role will present itself (whether in the current company or somewhere else) when the timing is right.
Once you’ve made it clear to the MD that this new opportunity is not for you, they’re unlikely to return to you so it matters little how you withdraw. Just be pleasant and firm - it’s pretty unlikely you’re the only candidate anyway.
If it don't seem right then walk away............no need to lie.....just send a polite email telling them you have given the matter further thought and do not wish to move from your current position at the moment..............simples really but as others have said, are you sure you are ready for such a role if you can't decide this without asking for advice? No offence meant.
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