Anxiety, Hypervigilence - new job also...
Discussion
Hi,
Sorry for yet another thread on a similar subject. I'll try to keep this easy to read:
Anxiety Issues
New Job
Advice and Questions
I am unsure what to do. Speaking to a counsellor could be helpful, but they're incredibly hard to find as they're often booked up, and the 2-3 you like the look and sound of, aren't available. I liked the last one but I am reluctant to go back as a new voice may help.
I am also considering mediciation. I did use Sertraline for about 2 months but didn't feel it really was needed and so I stopped after a bad period passed. This was several years ago.
I'm really unsure what to do but feel I need a long term solution, or at least a way to take the edge of and be more chilled.
Sorry for yet another thread on a similar subject. I'll try to keep this easy to read:
Anxiety Issues
- Many years of constant anxiety and edgyness
- Inability to switch off
- A feeling of always being "on", and "what if they need me" kind of thing
- Sleep issues - likely related
- When it's really bad, shaky, tense shoulders, sore jaw
- I have spoken to 3 different counsellors in the past for this kind of thing.
- Most recently last year. I had about 30 sessions and it was good, but I find that often it's fine for say 3 months then kicks off again
- I'm at a point where I am just sick of it and feel so fed up of it all
- I work in a technical cybersecurity role
- It's responding to cyber attacks which our cliens report and need help with
- The nature of this is unpredictable, stressful, high pressure and sometimes long hours (12+ hours a day and weekends)
- I think this may be part of the issue but I look at colleagues and they seem to take it in their stride
- I have just changed jobs 10 days ago, same industry, moving from a smaller company to a vast/massive one. The teams are more structure, with better support so it could be good
New Job
- HOWEVER ... the feeling of a new job, has completely de-railled me. I feel emoitional, upset, depressed, on edge, anxious, overwhelmed. I know this is all probably normal, but it's really hard managing this - especially as I am going through 2-3 months of onboarding.
Advice and Questions
I am unsure what to do. Speaking to a counsellor could be helpful, but they're incredibly hard to find as they're often booked up, and the 2-3 you like the look and sound of, aren't available. I liked the last one but I am reluctant to go back as a new voice may help.
I am also considering mediciation. I did use Sertraline for about 2 months but didn't feel it really was needed and so I stopped after a bad period passed. This was several years ago.
I'm really unsure what to do but feel I need a long term solution, or at least a way to take the edge of and be more chilled.
Worrying about what can go wrong is the worst way to use your imagination, the best thing you can do if you struggle to switch this off is to purposely spend as much time thinking about what could go right as you do thinking about what could go wrong.
so if you find yourself in that anxious loop, stop yourself and start making notes on what could go your way, extra bonus points if you note things that you could do to help stuff go your way as part of that process.
It isn't an easy thing to start doing but the more you do it the easier it will become.
Suggestion: if you think about something going pear shaped write down 3 things that you could do A: to stop it going wrong or B: to fix it if it did go wrong (or C: do both)
If you do just B: then at least if the thing does go wrong you are already more prepared than if you had not thought about it at all, if you do A: you are more prepared to stop it from going wrong in the first place.
so if you find yourself in that anxious loop, stop yourself and start making notes on what could go your way, extra bonus points if you note things that you could do to help stuff go your way as part of that process.
It isn't an easy thing to start doing but the more you do it the easier it will become.
Suggestion: if you think about something going pear shaped write down 3 things that you could do A: to stop it going wrong or B: to fix it if it did go wrong (or C: do both)
If you do just B: then at least if the thing does go wrong you are already more prepared than if you had not thought about it at all, if you do A: you are more prepared to stop it from going wrong in the first place.
As someone who is a constant worrier and whose Mother has suffered crippling anxiety since I was 5 years old I sympathise immensely.
Personal recommendations -
Remove the opportunity for anxiety and by that I mean look at the root cause of your anxiety, you mention your job a lot.
I recognise you work in a stressful job, but why are you anxious about making a mistake it's because you are anxious about the ultimate repercussions of that mistake e.g. a mistake could lose me my job and losing my job would mean I can't pay the bills and the mortgage.
If that's the root cause then look at redundancy insurance (its not a very common product since Covid but its out there) also prioriitise building that financial buffer so you feel like you have a decent safety net should it ever happen.
On a similar note, insurance can be a great way of addressing anxiety. If you worry about things going wrong in the house take out a British Gas Homecare policy. It might sound stupid but it was the best gift I could ever buy my Mother. A dripping tap could keep her awake for days, but now she knows the most it can cost is £60 excess and a quick phone call will have someone there in 24 hours its one less thing she's anxious about.
Back to your work anxiety I strongly recommend a pen and notebook, and try and keep that with you.
In meetings or discussions, always make a note of any tasks you are asked to do. That way you can reflect back on it knowing you've done what you've been asked and you know you have a back-up if your boss claims he asked you to do something he didn't.
Also use that notebook to write down what it is your anxious about when you experience it, knowing its been put down on paper to revisit at a better time will help. This can be particularly helpful at night time when your trying to go to sleep and your brain kicks into overtime. Write them down so you are safe in the knowledge that you can work on the solutions in the morning rather than them running through your head all night.
Finally, I try and put things into perspective -
Someone's dad died today
Someone's mum died today
Someones son died today
Someones daughter died today
Someone lost their home today
Someones wife/husband asked for a divorce today
If none of those things happened to you today then it's unlikely it was truly a bad day.
Personal recommendations -
Remove the opportunity for anxiety and by that I mean look at the root cause of your anxiety, you mention your job a lot.
I recognise you work in a stressful job, but why are you anxious about making a mistake it's because you are anxious about the ultimate repercussions of that mistake e.g. a mistake could lose me my job and losing my job would mean I can't pay the bills and the mortgage.
If that's the root cause then look at redundancy insurance (its not a very common product since Covid but its out there) also prioriitise building that financial buffer so you feel like you have a decent safety net should it ever happen.
On a similar note, insurance can be a great way of addressing anxiety. If you worry about things going wrong in the house take out a British Gas Homecare policy. It might sound stupid but it was the best gift I could ever buy my Mother. A dripping tap could keep her awake for days, but now she knows the most it can cost is £60 excess and a quick phone call will have someone there in 24 hours its one less thing she's anxious about.
Back to your work anxiety I strongly recommend a pen and notebook, and try and keep that with you.
In meetings or discussions, always make a note of any tasks you are asked to do. That way you can reflect back on it knowing you've done what you've been asked and you know you have a back-up if your boss claims he asked you to do something he didn't.
Also use that notebook to write down what it is your anxious about when you experience it, knowing its been put down on paper to revisit at a better time will help. This can be particularly helpful at night time when your trying to go to sleep and your brain kicks into overtime. Write them down so you are safe in the knowledge that you can work on the solutions in the morning rather than them running through your head all night.
Finally, I try and put things into perspective -
Someone's dad died today
Someone's mum died today
Someones son died today
Someones daughter died today
Someone lost their home today
Someones wife/husband asked for a divorce today
If none of those things happened to you today then it's unlikely it was truly a bad day.
You are in a similar situation to me, same kind of job and feelings.
I've tried alot of 'cognitive approaches' over the years with little impact.
Something which has really worked by mistake is taking ashwagandha on an evening, it lower cortisol. I started taking it to help with sleep and muscle soreness, which it has, but it's main effect is making me not worry at all about the nonsense at work! It works so well I can't take it everyday, or I don't care enough!
It's changed my life completely, by accident.
I've tried alot of 'cognitive approaches' over the years with little impact.
Something which has really worked by mistake is taking ashwagandha on an evening, it lower cortisol. I started taking it to help with sleep and muscle soreness, which it has, but it's main effect is making me not worry at all about the nonsense at work! It works so well I can't take it everyday, or I don't care enough!
It's changed my life completely, by accident.
Sounds like you may be highly strung, and have chosen a role that allows you to thrive on the stress, as you'll be in continual demand to fix security vulnerabilities. Accept this, as you have chosen this particular path.
Drink a bit less caffeine, eat a bit less sugar, practice some mindfulness, care less - wherever possible, get your adrenals under control (easier said than done). Spend time away from the screen at night (again easier said than done in your role) as screen light messes up circadian rhythms. Try things out though because everyone is different.
Drink a bit less caffeine, eat a bit less sugar, practice some mindfulness, care less - wherever possible, get your adrenals under control (easier said than done). Spend time away from the screen at night (again easier said than done in your role) as screen light messes up circadian rhythms. Try things out though because everyone is different.
You're over-stressed and you know it.
Get to your doc, get the antidepressants and stick with them this time, at 2 months they will have hardly started working, the usual recommendations are at least 6 months and when coming off them tapering down over a month.
Once they've brought you down a bit you'll have a chance of figuring your life out.
Get to your doc, get the antidepressants and stick with them this time, at 2 months they will have hardly started working, the usual recommendations are at least 6 months and when coming off them tapering down over a month.
Once they've brought you down a bit you'll have a chance of figuring your life out.
Thanks all
It's slightly better now as I'm in the new job now, have spoken to a lot of colleagues and starting to prepare to be involved in real customer work
My biggest anxiety is about work life balance. It's almost entirely unfounded as it seems a company and team who balance it well by the looks of it. I did see that in a huge client project thing some people did 15-20 hours several days in a row and at short notice.
I'm aware of what I'm doing here though, I am cherry picking those single big/major examples of what worries me
It's a big like being worried about a plane journey to America and then spending all day reading about plane crashes
...
I have a mental health appointment on Monday to hopefully get the prescription
Thanks again
It's slightly better now as I'm in the new job now, have spoken to a lot of colleagues and starting to prepare to be involved in real customer work
My biggest anxiety is about work life balance. It's almost entirely unfounded as it seems a company and team who balance it well by the looks of it. I did see that in a huge client project thing some people did 15-20 hours several days in a row and at short notice.
I'm aware of what I'm doing here though, I am cherry picking those single big/major examples of what worries me
It's a big like being worried about a plane journey to America and then spending all day reading about plane crashes
...
I have a mental health appointment on Monday to hopefully get the prescription
Thanks again
As another angsty person, I have no advice, but all I would say is, I couldn't do a job like yours. It would break me. Maybe you need to find something more chilled out. I'm lucky that I've personally found a job like that, and while the pay is nothing special, I enjoy the job and the place and people, and feel pretty content. I read that you moved from a smaller company to a bigger one. I did the opposite. Bigger companies suck in my experience.
TameRacingDriver said:
As another angsty person, I have no advice, but all I would say is, I couldn't do a job like yours. It would break me. Maybe you need to find something more chilled out. I'm lucky that I've personally found a job like that, and while the pay is nothing special, I enjoy the job and the place and people, and feel pretty content. I read that you moved from a smaller company to a bigger one. I did the opposite. Bigger companies suck in my experience.
The job is going OK so far. I'm about 7 weeks in and starting to do some customer work. There seems a decent balance to hours, so that when you are on something needing a bit more time, you can take some time back after it's finished. It's remote work but with it being a bigger company, one thing I like is there is a lot of activity. I don't mean work, I just mean conversation, jokes, company benefits or webinars you can join, random things like that.
In my last job, some weeks I barely had a message and although it was peaceful, it was just too quiet.
seabod91 said:
Do you drink OP ?
Until last week, yes I did. When my mental health is good/fine then it's not an issue, but when I am struggling I realised it's terrible. I often, during the year have periods of sobriety of say 3-4 months. So for now, I have stopped, likely until Christmas. I already feel better.
GiantEnemyCrab said:
Sounds like you work in IR? Comes with the territory no? 
Yes probably. Although IR is a spectrum of some kinds, as it depends a lot on the procedures and way the work is structured. E.g. is it always you doing the long hours, stressful work and on your own? Is there a team involved, is it rotated around so you know when it may be you that's doing the urgent stuff? Some IR is less urgent, in the sense that sometimes it's insurance work too. It's fine so far, about 7 weeks in. I did read and watch a few videos and it said that often avoidance of what causes you anxiety makes it worse as your brain learns what that relief feels like. So it will then become conditioned to be stressed when presented with similar situations.
I'm fine carrying on with it for now. When I posted this message and thread my headspace was very different.
I'm also about a week into taking Sertraline. Other than jaw clenching and weird tiredness symptoms, it's going well.
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff