Carzee / Squirrels
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Podie

Original Poster:

46,647 posts

298 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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Found on Yahoo! news... nowt to do with you is it CarZee...?




LONDON (Reuters) - A squirrel is spreading terror in a Cheshire town where it keeps attacking people.


Its latest victim was a two-year-old girl, newspapers reported on Thursday.


Children have been attacked, grown men chased and residents of Knutsford are fearful of letting their kids out to play, the Times newspaper said.


The rogue squirrel's latest attack was on toddler Kelsi Morley who was bitten on the forehead.


"It was awful because she (Kelsi) was spinnning around and we couldn't get it off," her mother told the newspaper.


"From the amount of blood there was, I thought it had taken Kelsi's eye out."


The squirrel eventually let go and the terrified youngster was rushed to a doctor.


Colin Booty, a senior scientific officer in the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, said it was very unusual for a squirrel to behave like this.


Local resident Blanche Kellye said the problem was not funny. "Everyone round here is living in fear...it's a vicious little thing. I'll never trust squirrels again."

anonymous-user

77 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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We've got one you can feed by hand.

He/She also comes up to the kitchen window to be fed.

Lee.

CarZee

13,382 posts

290 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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It'd be nice to think that I had a divine influence over this child biting squirrel - I haven't, unfortunately, but I doff my cap to this creature and wish it well in it's brave endeavours.

Serge sends his best, naturally...

filmidget

682 posts

305 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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LONDON (Reuters) - A squirrel is spreading terror...

...and residents of Knutsford are fearful...







Podie

Original Poster:

46,647 posts

298 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
quotequote all

CarZee said:
Serge sends his best, naturally...


[ mode]
I assume you know the whereabouts of said Squirrel?
[/ mode]

CarZee

13,382 posts

290 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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In the boot of the TVR I expect...

hah! where's yer RSPCA smiley then??



edited to add: btw they are all a bunch of ponces in Knutsford anyway - it's widely acknowledged

>> Edited by CarZee on Thursday 7th November 18:46

Mr E

22,718 posts

282 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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I think said little-un's grandfather went out and shot the squirrel in question. Or at least *a* squirrel. Probably.....


A replacement for fox hunting?

FunkyNige

9,727 posts

298 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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moleamol

15,887 posts

286 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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numptymuppetgrandadchap said"He said if it had bitten a child's face this time, what would it do next? He didn't want any more children getting hurt."
Well it's hardly gonna frigging go out and kidnap one is it

Maybe the little fella is working for a very shit terrorist group

Edited cos I've forgot my watch again

>> Edited by moleamol on Thursday 7th November 19:03

loserkid

1,676 posts

287 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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They had a problem in New York with squirrels licking the used crack pipes and then going off on one attacking people a while ago IIRC.

Podie

Original Poster:

46,647 posts

298 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
quotequote all

CarZee said:
edited to add: btw they are all a bunch of ponces in Knutsford anyway - it's widely acknowledged



easy tiger... Mrs Podie heralds from that neck of the woods (well Mobberley actually)... not one to be argued with!

rude girl

6,937 posts

282 months

Thursday 7th November 2002
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It said on the news tonight that the squirrel in question is now deceased (Radio 4, so it must be true!).

What sort of name is Kelsi anyway? That's not a name, it's a random collection of letters. Don't parents realise that their children have to wear these names for their whole lives, and that if they turn out to be ugly or stupid, their name will draw even more attention to the poor sods?

Gargamel

16,132 posts

284 months

Friday 8th November 2002
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Perhaps we should remake a low budget JAWS in Knutsford

Plot - random squirrel attack - child bitten

angry "villagers" hunt squirrel down and shoot it.

Carzee compares tooth marks from dead squirrel to bite wounds on child - is convinced they've got the wrong squirrel. A couple of scary moments as carzee runs through darkened woodland - being chased by a large squirrel with "sharp pointy teeth"

Couple of "fake" moments where an air rifling mad irish grandfather who drinks to much whiskey shoots his air rifle into the trees - but only hits birds or rats...

Finally the last confrontation where the Real squirrel attacks carzees tree house style staging platform ... carzee looks to camera ...."we're going to need a bigger tree house ! "

Eventually squirrel attack but accidentally gets a small childs ashthama inhaler lodged in its mouth - the air rifle is lowered ..."smile you sonofabeatch"

BANG ....




>> Edited by Gargamel on Friday 8th November 08:48

Podie

Original Poster:

46,647 posts

298 months

Friday 8th November 2002
quotequote all

Gargamel said: Perhaps we should remake a low budget JAWS in Knutsford

Plot - random squirrel attack - child bitten

angry "villagers" hunt squirrel down and shoot it.

Carzee compares tooth marks from dead squirrel to bite wounds on child - is convinced they've got the wrong squirrel. A couple of scary moments as carzee runs through darkened woodland - being chased by a large squirrel with "sharp pointy teeth"

Couple of "fake" moments where an air rifling mad irish grandfather who drinks to much whiskey shoots his air rifle into the trees - but only hits birds or rats...

Finally the last confrontation where the Real squirrel attacks carzees tree house style staging platform ... carzee looks to camera ...."we're going to need a bigger tree house ! "

Eventually squirrel attack but accidentally gets a small childs ashthama inhaler lodged in its mouth - the air rifle is lowered ..."smile you sonofabeatch"

BANG ....




>> Edited by Gargamel on Friday 8th November 08:48


top...

stedale

1,125 posts

288 months

Friday 8th November 2002
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rude girl said: It said on the news tonight that the squirrel in question is now deceased (Radio 4, so it must be true!).

What sort of name is Kelsi anyway? That's not a name, it's a random collection of letters. Don't parents realise that their children have to wear these names for their whole lives, and that if they turn out to be ugly or stupid, their name will draw even more attention to the poor sods?




Maybe the squirrel knew?

CarZee

13,382 posts

290 months

Friday 8th November 2002
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Podie said: easy tiger... Mrs Podie heralds from that neck of the woods (well Mobberley actually)... not one to be argued with!


She's from Mobberly.. but I distinctly recall slagging off Knutsford...

Do people in Bristol get upset when you slag the Welsh off then??





edited to say:

not one to be argued with!
bollocks - bring it on, Mrs Podie!!

>> Edited by CarZee on Friday 8th November 09:23

Podie

Original Poster:

46,647 posts

298 months

Friday 8th November 2002
quotequote all

CarZee said:

Podie said: easy tiger... Mrs Podie heralds from that neck of the woods (well Mobberley actually)... not one to be argued with!


She's from Mobberly.. but I distinctly recall slagging off Knutsford...





She's from Knutsford, but family moved (all of two miles down the road) to Mobberley... geddit?

CarZee

13,382 posts

290 months

Friday 8th November 2002
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Podie said: She's from Knutsford, but family moved (all of two miles down the road) to Mobberley... geddit?
how long has she been divorced from her Brother?

Podie

Original Poster:

46,647 posts

298 months

Friday 8th November 2002
quotequote all

CarZee said:

Podie said: She's from Knutsford, but family moved (all of two miles down the road) to Mobberley... geddit?
how long has she been divorced from her Brother?



You're a braver man than me to make a comment like that... (sends link of this post to Mrs Podie)

CarZee

13,382 posts

290 months

Friday 8th November 2002
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