Apprentice has left.

[Frane Selak]

know this is another soppy depressing story but why do I feel so gutted. I did post a thread the other day about lone working but it got moved to the jobs section. This is more about the emotional side of things.

I do have a business partner and we have worked together for years which is all find and dandy, but about 3 years ago we took on a relative of his when he was about 18, lets call him Tim, he did the college route and used us for experience. It wasn't always viable for all 3 of us to be on the same job so lately it was mostly me and Tim and the other lad worked by himself as he didn't mind it, me I hate working in old dark houses all alone and I don't think I would do it/definitely wouldn't do it.

Tim did actually leave a couple of years ago for a "gap year" but came back and picked up where he left off. The thing is he picked everything up really quickly, he wanted to learn and could do almost everything I could do within months, going from not even knowing what a hammer did when he started. The trouble is we cant promise him constant work, our jobs go from not having anything for a week or two to all out chaos where everything needs to be done now now now, also the place he is going to does an official apprentice scheme and pays for it all for him, its a big firm.

I don't blame him for leaving and I would if I was him every time, I think he should definitely take this new job, but its going to be absolutely daunting starting again with a new lad if we can get one who won't know what a hammer is. Also Tim had a personality, you could trust him and he was able to tell me to fk off, he drove, he never had any attitude and was mostly on time, he never ducked a day due to being pissed and he would also help out with the building work that I was doing at home when we had slack days but that's at an end now, we even took an engine out of one of the vans together the other week.

I know people will say stop being so wet and give your head a wobble but I'm absolutely gutted and not sure I've got the energy anymore to start all over again, I know I should expect this as most young people always leave their first job after a couple of years or sooner.

[Super Sonic]

Without delving into your posting history, a couple of questions.
Are you single?
Do you have any pets?

[Frane Selak]

Super Sonic said:

Without delving into your posting history, a couple of questions.
Are you single?
Do you have any pets?

Yes and no. The irony is I prefer to be alone when I'm at home, not sure why to be honest but I usually cant wait to get rid of someone if they call round. I think its because I'm always doing something and they stop me doing it, not sure what I will do when I run out of things to do though.

[dukeboy749r]

Frane Selak said:

Super Sonic said:

Without delving into your posting history, a couple of questions.
Are you single?
Do you have any pets?

Yes and no. The irony is I prefer to be alone when I'm at home, not sure why to be honest but I usually cant wait to get rid of someone if they call round. I think its because I'm always doing something and they stop me doing it, not sure what I will do when I run out of things to do though.

Frank, I know we have a difference of view on the climate but this thread is not that one, so:

Given your replies, I take it no one at home for you to get back to?

As Super Sonic asked - I'll expand on - any outside of work hobbies?

Whereabouts are you in the UK? Not stalking (I promise) but on another thread there was mention of a UK male support community. That may be a great source of being able to just meet blokes and talk st.

Are you ex-forces, by chance?

My own work is very challenging and there are way too many hurdles, but I'm always up for a chat and listening, if that woud help.

So long as it's not about the climate Although talking about the weather is fine

[Landlubber]

I'm afraid that's just life, you trained him up, you filled your part of the contract, now he's off to make his way in the world.

[Frane Selak]

dukeboy749r said:

Frank, I know we have a difference of view on the climate but this thread is not that one, so:

Given your replies, I take it no one at home for you to get back to?

As Super Sonic asked - I'll expand on - any outside of work hobbies?

Whereabouts are you in the UK? Not stalking (I promise) but on another thread there was mention of a UK male support community. That may be a great source of being able to just meet blokes and talk st.

Are you ex-forces, by chance?

My own work is very challenging and there are way too many hurdles, but I'm always up for a chat and listening, if that woud help.

So long as it's not about the climate Although talking about the weather is fine

I don't think I'm suicidal, just upset that he has left after everything I've taught him and I'll have to start again. I know full well that if I find someone else similar to him it will be just fine again. Its just that with every year passing everything is 10 times harder to do than it was the year before, that includes teaching people. He even preferred 80's music so there was never a conflict of interest with the van radio.

All my hobbies have centred on my house for the last couple of years, I do think I'll probably sell up and buy something else that needs lots of work doing to it within the next year, I don't think I can face the prospect of just sitting around not keeping busy. I think I'd prefer to go out more like Rod Hull than rotting away in a nursing home.

[Frane Selak]

Landlubber said:

I'm afraid that's just life, you trained him up, you filled your part of the contract, now he's off to make his way in the world.

I know, and I know its to be expected, even planned for. I have no idea how people cope when a partner leaves them or the kids eventually move out.

[Super Sonic]

May e think about getting either a pet, or an assistant at work, or both. Have you spoken to your Dr about depression?
I know it sounds a bit like I'm just giving glib answers to complex questions, but I'm just suggesting ideas to explore.

[Super Sonic]

Frane Selak said:

I know, and I know its to be expected, even planned for. I have no idea how people cope when a partner leaves them or the kids eventually move out.

You should view this as a success, like when children leave home and start fendingfor themselves, it is something to be proud of

[GliderRider]

It fear of the unknown. You've got used to Tim, you know you've either been very lucky or are not giving yourself credit for the selection process you used by which you took him on (even if he was the son of a relative).
The fact that Tim continued to turn up says a lot about him, but also about you and your colleague. If you were truly awful to work with just about anyone would have quit or jumped ship sooner.
Your next apprentice won't be a Tim clone, so don't expect them to be.
Why not speak to the tech colleges who give the courses in your field and see if they have any students not in an apprenticeship that they could recommend? Beware though, there have been stories about tech colleges trying to get students new jobs because the current employer wants to sack them and the college don't want to lose the income.
You are also allowed to give paid trial periods to prospective apprentices before you take them on formally.

[Frane Selak]

He did say he really enjoys it with us, he has learned so many different aspects of not just the building game but even car mechanics as well, that must be invaluable to him. But its not knowing when his next job will be thats the problem, we could double his wages tomorrow but then not have any work for him for a month, we cant do that to someone who has just been offered a steady job with guaranteed prospects.

Also about the clone comment, if the new apprentice messes up, and they will quite regular, I'm going to think "Tim could have done that" and maybe end up hating him, I really hope that doesn't happen. We have had other apprentices in the past, one was really good but once a big contract had finished again we didn't have much work for him so he left, I wasn't upset about him for some reason but I was 10 years younger then, the other one was absolutely hopeless, skipped all the college places and couldn't do anything, he was a family member and I couldn't wait to get shut, even though we paid him pittance.

Edited by Frane Selak on Friday 14th August 18:25

Edited by Frane Selak on Friday 14th August 18:26

[768]

Super Sonic said:

Frane Selak said:

I know, and I know its to be expected, even planned for. I have no idea how people cope when a partner leaves them or the kids eventually move out.

You should view this as a success, like when children leave home and start fendingfor themselves, it is something to be proud of

+1

FWIW, I've long thought that there's a sweet spot for 1 person businesses and that if you're going to grow beyond that you want to go as fast as you possibly can to at least maybe 6-8 people. At that point you start to get a bit of flex in the system so you have consistent work for people, you can find ways to shift work around to fit preferences, cover when someone's off, etc. That middle ground is a really difficult place to be in many ways, not least when someone leaves.

[Frane Selak]

Why would this get moved here, its naff all to do with jobs, it was about me feeling upset because someone has left, which I still do by the way, thought it would be a bit better today but still on a massive downer because of it, I absolutely detest any sort of change in my life.

[768]

Might be time to have a chat with a GP in case there's anything else going on.

[Frane Selak]

768 said:

Might be time to have a chat with a GP in case there's anything else going on.

Thought it best to edit this one, was a bit over the top. Still feel absolutely gutted though, I've been re-hashing my front garden over the last week when I had a bit of spare time and was quite enjoying it despite the heat. Today I moved the last few barrows of soil and some concrete flags as it was unsightly at the front of the house. I felt though that I was moving it all because I had to, not because I wanted to. There isn't much to do the rest of the weekend now and I'm staring at the clock saying half one and thinking "what the hell did I do last weekend to pass the time" feel lost.

Edited by Frane Selak on Saturday 15th August 13:28