Future health funding of in-law
Discussion
My Mother in law has dementia and lives alone in a retirement village.
She needs occasional help so has a PA who comes in 2-3 times a week and will take her out for a coffee or to an appointment ,or fill in her calendar. She enjoys being with this PA but resents having to "pay for a friend" which we know is part of the dementia speaking. My wife pays the PA from the mother in laws account but recently the mother in law has said she won't pay and would rather do without the help. (If she was not paying she would love the PA to still be around.
We have financial authority but wonder if we pay for the PA and transfer the money from the mother in law if we could be seen in the future as being tied to her financially and be liable for the inevitable future care home bills
Without the PA she will likely have to move into a care home fairly quickly but with the PA there are a few more years with her independent living. Given she would cost the state if she moved to a care home and she would resent it, we would like her to be living independently but are worried about being tied financially and being liable for future care fees if we are the ones paying the PA and there is a regular payment to us from the mother in law
Anyone with any experience ?
She needs occasional help so has a PA who comes in 2-3 times a week and will take her out for a coffee or to an appointment ,or fill in her calendar. She enjoys being with this PA but resents having to "pay for a friend" which we know is part of the dementia speaking. My wife pays the PA from the mother in laws account but recently the mother in law has said she won't pay and would rather do without the help. (If she was not paying she would love the PA to still be around.
We have financial authority but wonder if we pay for the PA and transfer the money from the mother in law if we could be seen in the future as being tied to her financially and be liable for the inevitable future care home bills
Without the PA she will likely have to move into a care home fairly quickly but with the PA there are a few more years with her independent living. Given she would cost the state if she moved to a care home and she would resent it, we would like her to be living independently but are worried about being tied financially and being liable for future care fees if we are the ones paying the PA and there is a regular payment to us from the mother in law
Anyone with any experience ?
From experience of dealing with my Aunt with dementia and now unfortunately my Mum , I would suggest firstly simply talking with yours and try to “ convince “ her of the benefits of her paying for the home help.
I had this very chat with my Mum and said the alternative was that she would have to go into a care home which none of us wanted.
If this doesn’t work then as you already have Financial LPA then I would continue to simply pay the bills from her account - you are simply continuing to think of acting in her best needs.
If she absolutely refuses and still is capable of looking at her bank accounts in detail then you could do as you suggest and pay from yours with then reimbursement as long as you can then have the chat with her as to why she is making regular payments to you !
If you do this I would ensure you keep a record or statement just in case.
Either way this isn’t a tie in with any local LA if it came to funding conversations.
It isn’t deprivation of assets as she is only paying for care that she needs in the form of the home help.
Obviously once her money and / or assets dips below the circa £23k number then the LA will fund 100% anyway.
I had this very chat with my Mum and said the alternative was that she would have to go into a care home which none of us wanted.
If this doesn’t work then as you already have Financial LPA then I would continue to simply pay the bills from her account - you are simply continuing to think of acting in her best needs.
If she absolutely refuses and still is capable of looking at her bank accounts in detail then you could do as you suggest and pay from yours with then reimbursement as long as you can then have the chat with her as to why she is making regular payments to you !
If you do this I would ensure you keep a record or statement just in case.
Either way this isn’t a tie in with any local LA if it came to funding conversations.
It isn’t deprivation of assets as she is only paying for care that she needs in the form of the home help.
Obviously once her money and / or assets dips below the circa £23k number then the LA will fund 100% anyway.
The jiffle king said:
My Mother in law has dementia and lives alone in a retirement village.
She needs occasional help so has a PA who comes in 2-3 times a week and will take her out for a coffee or to an appointment ,or fill in her calendar. She enjoys being with this PA but resents having to "pay for a friend" which we know is part of the dementia speaking. My wife pays the PA from the mother in laws account but recently the mother in law has said she won't pay and would rather do without the help. (If she was not paying she would love the PA to still be around.
We have financial authority but wonder if we pay for the PA and transfer the money from the mother in law if we could be seen in the future as being tied to her financially and be liable for the inevitable future care home bills
Without the PA she will likely have to move into a care home fairly quickly but with the PA there are a few more years with her independent living. Given she would cost the state if she moved to a care home and she would resent it, we would like her to be living independently but are worried about being tied financially and being liable for future care fees if we are the ones paying the PA and there is a regular payment to us from the mother in law
Anyone with any experience ?
We have council funded PAs for my MiL. Started at 2hrs per day, now up to 8 hours per day.She needs occasional help so has a PA who comes in 2-3 times a week and will take her out for a coffee or to an appointment ,or fill in her calendar. She enjoys being with this PA but resents having to "pay for a friend" which we know is part of the dementia speaking. My wife pays the PA from the mother in laws account but recently the mother in law has said she won't pay and would rather do without the help. (If she was not paying she would love the PA to still be around.
We have financial authority but wonder if we pay for the PA and transfer the money from the mother in law if we could be seen in the future as being tied to her financially and be liable for the inevitable future care home bills
Without the PA she will likely have to move into a care home fairly quickly but with the PA there are a few more years with her independent living. Given she would cost the state if she moved to a care home and she would resent it, we would like her to be living independently but are worried about being tied financially and being liable for future care fees if we are the ones paying the PA and there is a regular payment to us from the mother in law
Anyone with any experience ?
Have you looked at LA funding?
TheHeadhunter said:
We have council funded PAs for my MiL. Started at 2hrs per day, now up to 8 hours per day.
Have you looked at LA funding?
Thanks both for replyingHave you looked at LA funding?
Yes we've looked at LA funding but she owns 80% of her retirement apartment and has reasonable income.
She can do all the day to day tasks so the help needed is for her dementia and anxiety e.g. I'm lonely because no-one ever visits (They do visit but she does not remember)
She is smart enough to look at her accounts (she used to work for nationwide so keeps a close eye) and so we will have to pay to us and keep records of every invoice so it's really clear what it's for
The jiffle king said:
Thanks both for replying
Yes we've looked at LA funding but she owns 80% of her retirement apartment and has reasonable income.
She can do all the day to day tasks so the help needed is for her dementia and anxiety e.g. I'm lonely because no-one ever visits (They do visit but she does not remember)
She is smart enough to look at her accounts (she used to work for nationwide so keeps a close eye) and so we will have to pay to us and keep records of every invoice so it's really clear what it's for
Have you applied / receiving attendance allowance ?Yes we've looked at LA funding but she owns 80% of her retirement apartment and has reasonable income.
She can do all the day to day tasks so the help needed is for her dementia and anxiety e.g. I'm lonely because no-one ever visits (They do visit but she does not remember)
She is smart enough to look at her accounts (she used to work for nationwide so keeps a close eye) and so we will have to pay to us and keep records of every invoice so it's really clear what it's for
Providing you complete the form as though it was her “ worst day “ you should be able to get the lower of the 2 allowances which is around £74pw.
Paid net ( non taxable ) each month as a pension would be straight into her bank account.
Get them claiming attendance allowance. It's paid (to them) weekly and is to help them pay for any additional help, could be someone cutting the lawn, nipping round to help with cooking a meal, or doing the washing, or...anything.
My mum had a reasonable income but when diagnosed with fibrosis we applied for attendance allowance and she was awarded about £100/week. Myself, brother and sister did all the little jobs for her so she banked it all and after a few months when she got that she needed private carers she had a chunk of money to help start paying towards that. Sadly she died not long after so private care wasn't needed.
They don't need to be really ill to claim it, just in need of others for some bits of help
My mum had a reasonable income but when diagnosed with fibrosis we applied for attendance allowance and she was awarded about £100/week. Myself, brother and sister did all the little jobs for her so she banked it all and after a few months when she got that she needed private carers she had a chunk of money to help start paying towards that. Sadly she died not long after so private care wasn't needed.
They don't need to be really ill to claim it, just in need of others for some bits of help
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