Retirement - nerves

[Lotobear]

..not strictly financial but this seems the most appropriate location.

I've decided to retire at the end of 2026, I will be 65 next January. I've agonised over this for a few years now but it just feels, instinctively to be the 'right' time

I've run my own professional services firm for the last 20 years and have made some provision, but not in the PH PBCD sense. I have a 'pot' of around 500k made up of around 275k pension and the rest in ISA's or savings. No debt and a house worth 650k. Both kids are launched and both own their own houses. Wife is 4 years behind me and has some NHS pension and, as an only child, a prospect of a healthy inheritance.But she does like to spend.

And yet I feel incredibly nervous about the whole thing - I've worked for almost 45 years in construction and property and I am struggling with anxiety and even loss of sleep over the whole thing. Worries surround whether I will have sufficient money and having something to do/loss of ID.

I am perhaps abnormally fit and healthy for my age (family tend to be loner livers) and enjoy mountain biking, hiking (I live in Cumbria) and cars - I have a classic car restoration to complete. I am also project managing my sons house renovation, including doing much of the building work myself.

How best to prepare for this - I am sure I am not the first one and to some extent these feelings might be typical but I would appreciate others experiences and insight.

Cheers!

[Jamescrs]

I think your feelings of nerves are normal, I haven't been in your position myself, I have 7 years to my retirement date and will be going early but I have seen a number of people who I have worked with closely retire over the last 10 years, a number I would say stayed longer than they should have because they couldn't let go and saw work as their identity.

The people who I have seen since retirement all seem happy and have since occupied their time in different ways, I don't think any have, at least openly admitted, regretting it.

I think the main thing is to keep active in retirement but it sounds like you may have that in hand

[alscar]

Firstly good decision on retiring and congrats.
I am coming up for 5 years of not working on my 65th birthday shortly.
I guess the obvious concerns you are experiencing are just that.
Presumably you know roughly your future annual outgoings( ant least for say the next few years ) and therefore the required annual income ?
Pension pot at say 5% drawdown allows x plus then state pension in a couple of years of y plus any subsidy needed for shortfall from the other £225k plus then your wife of z so does that all equate to spending needs ?

[Huzzah]

I was in your shoes a few yrs ago, similar pot too, albeit younger and further away from state pension.


Very nervous but comforted by the thought I could always take a part time job or temp contract somewhere if need be.
1st Yr was a bit strange, really really cautious with spending. Budgets and spreadsheets regularly consulted.

After yr 1 a lot more settled, life could be cheap if need be, but we could afford our lifestyle with ease. More time for family and friends, I also took on a voluntary position with a forestry company which I found fulfilling.

We never felt the loss of status, but we'd never been big cheeses anyway. I know people who had suffered the status/identity thing, it just took them longer to adjust.

Edited by Huzzah on Wednesday 11th November 12:46

[SydneyBridge]

Can't you do it gradually, 4 days a week for 6 months, then 3 days etc...

[oddman]

Lotobear said:

..not strictly financial but this seems the most appropriate location.
I am perhaps abnormally fit and healthy for my age (family tend to be loner livers) and enjoy mountain biking, hiking (I live in Cumbria) and cars - I have a classic car restoration to complete. I am also project managing my sons house renovation, including doing much of the building work myself.

I've got a feeling that you're going to be one of those folk who wonder how you had time for work.

Don't gamble on your genetics. Ending a career is a bit like putting a dog down. Better a week too early than a day too late.

[Huzzah]

oddman said:

I've got a feeling that you're going to be one of those folk who wonder how you had time for work.

Don't gamble on your genetics. Ending a career is a bit like putting a dog down. Better a week too early than a day too late.

This is very true, I'm pleased we didn't leave it any longer. I've had some health scares that have clipped my wings a bit, and a bigger pension pot wouldn't help.

[Anastie]

I went through similar concerns. I was also fortunate to be able to retire around 55 on NHS pension. The thing that made a huge difference for us 7 years ago now. Was to create a financial plan .

We ring fenced money for specific plans. Including holidays, car changes, home improvements, family stuff and what we’ll call a buffer for unplanned situations.

This meant we knew what we had to spend and it removed any anxiety we had.

I accept not everyone can do this but we are halfway through the plan and it was the best thing for us.

[chip*]

You have 1 year to bridge before your SP kicks in at 67. Assuming full SP, your basic needs are covered, so only need to draw on your 0.5mio pot to cover your entertainment costs until your wife's NHS pension kick in 4 years later + her SP whenever that is! Combination of 2 x SP pension + NHS pension (while both alive) + your 0.5mio pot is a pretty healthy financial cushion, so you shouldn't have any financial worries imo.

[Rusty Old-Banger]

Lotobear said:

..not strictly financial but this seems the most appropriate location.

I've decided to retire at the end of 2026, I will be 65 next January. I've agonised over this for a few years now but it just feels, instinctively to be the 'right' time

I've run my own professional services firm for the last 20 years and have made some provision, but not in the PH PBCD sense. I have a 'pot' of around 500k made up of around 275k pension and the rest in ISA's or savings. No debt and a house worth 650k. Both kids are launched and both own their own houses. Wife is 4 years behind me and has some NHS pension and, as an only child, a prospect of a healthy inheritance.But she does like to spend.

And yet I feel incredibly nervous about the whole thing - I've worked for almost 45 years in construction and property and I am struggling with anxiety and even loss of sleep over the whole thing. Worries surround whether I will have sufficient money and having something to do/loss of ID.

I am perhaps abnormally fit and healthy for my age (family tend to be loner livers) and enjoy mountain biking, hiking (I live in Cumbria) and cars - I have a classic car restoration to complete. I am also project managing my sons house renovation, including doing much of the building work myself.

How best to prepare for this - I am sure I am not the first one and to some extent these feelings might be typical but I would appreciate others experiences and insight.

Cheers!

You're in a much, MUCH better position than me. I'm 17 years behind you, but won't be able to retire until I'm about 72/73, and I'm absolutely bricking it, I genuinely think that a significant workplace accident taking me out a year before I retire would be the best thing for my family! (That's not being morbid, but what sort of retirement will I have if I don't start til 72?? Maybe 5 years of life left... I'd take the hit if it meant my wife/kids were sorted financially.)

[Lotobear]

chip* said:

You have 1 year to bridge before your SP kicks in at 67. Assuming full SP, your basic needs are covered, so only need to draw on your 0.5mio pot to cover your entertainment costs until your wife's NHS pension kick in 4 years later + her SP whenever that is! Combination of 2 x SP pension + NHS pension (while both alive) + your 0.5mio pot is a pretty healthy financial cushion, so you shouldn't have any financial worries imo.

Full state pension but actually 2 years to bridge - will be 67 in Jan '29. I will probably get some sort of part time job for 2 days a week to help bridge the gap.

[dave123456]

SydneyBridge said:

Can't you do it gradually, 4 days a week for 6 months, then 3 days etc...

I’d suggest this, if you are doing 5 days a week can you see a positive way to get down to 3 (imo 4 isn’t worth it as you will likely end up doing 5 anyway).

If you do that you will be able to retain some earnings whilst having more time. The other question you need to address is how you feel about your wife’s spending? Does she acknowledge it? Can you manage it together? Do you allow her to get away with it? Can you put in place something to protect the income you need, with a provision for inflation and allow her pocket money on a when it’s gone it’s gone basis?

I’m considering my position currently and it’s very hard, I earn well and am on for a big payout in a few years but I’m finding my motivation to continue working is extremely low, and feel I’m earning money I don’t need using time that is finite. I’m 17 years off my pension age but time does fly…

[Lotobear]

dave123456 said:

SydneyBridge said:

Can't you do it gradually, 4 days a week for 6 months, then 3 days etc...

I d suggest this, if you are doing 5 days a week can you see a positive way to get down to 3 (imo 4 isn t worth it as you will likely end up doing 5 anyway).

If you do that you will be able to retain some earnings whilst having more time. The other question you need to address is how you feel about your wife s spending? Does she acknowledge it? Can you manage it together? Do you allow her to get away with it? Can you put in place something to protect the income you need, with a provision for inflation and allow her pocket money on a when it s gone it s gone basis?

I m considering my position currently and it s very hard, I earn well and am on for a big payout in a few years but I m finding my motivation to continue working is extremely low, and feel I m earning money I don t need using time that is finite. I m 17 years off my pension age but time does fly

I've actually been working a 4 day week for the last 18 months, occasionally dropping back to 5 as work required it. But like you say in your last para, the motivation has gone completely even though I have loved my job and always found it fulfilling. It's as if a switch was thrown one day and it dawned on me that I'd had enough.

3 years ago I would have told you that I would happily work until my 70's but something suddenly changes, I think the realisation that you are finally 'old' and have very little time left.

I would like to work 2 days a week but doing something else, though perhaps property and construction related as that is what I know. A travelling trouble shooter for a medium sized builder would be ideal, visiting projects and solving problems but I'm not sure such a thing exists.

[oddman]

chip* said:

You have 1 year to bridge before your SP kicks in at 67. Assuming full SP, your basic needs are covered, so only need to draw on your 0.5mio pot to cover your entertainment costs until your wife's NHS pension kick in 4 years later + her SP whenever that is! Combination of 2 x SP pension + NHS pension (while both alive)

OP will continue to get half the NHS pension if wife predeceases him; more if she has taken max TFLS.

[geeks]

Lotobear said:

dave123456 said:

SydneyBridge said:

Can't you do it gradually, 4 days a week for 6 months, then 3 days etc...

I d suggest this, if you are doing 5 days a week can you see a positive way to get down to 3 (imo 4 isn t worth it as you will likely end up doing 5 anyway).

If you do that you will be able to retain some earnings whilst having more time. The other question you need to address is how you feel about your wife s spending? Does she acknowledge it? Can you manage it together? Do you allow her to get away with it? Can you put in place something to protect the income you need, with a provision for inflation and allow her pocket money on a when it s gone it s gone basis?

I m considering my position currently and it s very hard, I earn well and am on for a big payout in a few years but I m finding my motivation to continue working is extremely low, and feel I m earning money I don t need using time that is finite. I m 17 years off my pension age but time does fly

I've actually been working a 4 day week for the last 18 months, occasionally dropping back to 5 as work required it. But like you say in your last para, the motivation has gone completely even though I have loved my job and always found it fulfilling. It's as if a switch was thrown one day and it dawned on me that I'd had enough.

3 years ago I would have told you that I would happily work until my 70's but something suddenly changes, I think the realisation that you are finally 'old' and have very little time left.

I would like to work 2 days a week but doing something else, though perhaps property and construction related as that is what I know. A travelling trouble shooter for a medium sized builder would be ideal, visiting projects and solving problems but I'm not sure such a thing exists.

Not sure if this would work for you or not but when my Grandfather retired from a similar industry he ended up working as a releif gaffer/site manager/project manager, 2-4 weeks at a time on different sites overseeing things from small housing estates to big sheds (warehouses) ended up doing 2-3 months a year in chunks and loved it, kept money coming in and his mind and body working as much as he wanted or didnt want to, did this into his mid to late 70's and as of this year is fully retired

[Andy 308GTB]

SydneyBridge said:

Can't you do it gradually, 4 days a week for 6 months, then 3 days etc...

This.
My father worked at Fords from 14 to 60. 5 days in a week in the office. Retired in a very comfortable position. He basically had a mental breakdown within weeks of retiring, he recovered after a few months and went back to Fords as a consultant for 18 months - before successfully retiring, I guess on his own terms.

I'm in a similar position to the OP. My age and my wife's age identical to theirs. I am retiring at the end of March 2027. Since April this year I dropped down to 4 days a week and from January 2027, by carrying over some holiday, I'll be working 3 days a week until I retire.

I won't be short of stuff to do once I retire. But I have worked in a very strong team with very low turnover for 20 years, my main concern is missing the day to day conversations and discussions with people who are on my wavelength. I'm not a social animal but I will have to put myself out there to find people to talk to about politics etc. Saying that, I do a lot of fishing, setting off pre-dawn, getting home after dark and realising the only words I have spoken all day are 'McDonalds Sausage Muffin Meal and a Cappucino, please'

[Zigster]

I’m in a similar position, albeit a bit younger. Between us, my wife and I (56/55) have enough saved to almost certainly keep us comfortable in retirement and I always said I would retire at 55, particularly as my job became massively stressful through COVID and I lost a lot of the joy in it from then.

But I moved jobs to a much lower stress (and lower paid) one, and am now only working three days a week from home which provides us with about the same sort of income we are intending to keep through retirement. We keep talking about retiring but then putting it off another 3/6 months with one excuse or another. It’s not so much a “have we enough money” thing but more of a closing the door on the careers we have spent the last 35 years in and by which we do at least to an extent define ourselves.

So I find the psychology behind it interesting. The letting go as much as the financial aspects. Current plan is next July …

[Lotobear]

Many thanks for all these insightful responses - it's incredibly helpful to hear all the different perspectives and sage advice.

Do keep them coming.

[croyde]

oddman said:

I've got a feeling that you're going to be one of those folk who wonder how you had time for work.

Don't gamble on your genetics. Ending a career is a bit like putting a dog down. Better a week too early than a day too late.

I'm 2 years in and I basically do bugger all and still wonder how I did that whilst working

I do miss the camaraderie of work though, and go days without seeing anyone apart from saying hi to neighbours.

[Kwackersaki]

I retired earlier this year at 59. It was great over the summer (also in Cumbria) but to be honest I m now struggling for things to do and getting bored, particularly when it rains which it does here a lot!

I was previously WFH with very little work so completed all the jobs around the house and garden. I ve been looking for a project m/bike to restore but haven t found anything so far that I d like. I even applied for seasonal work at Tesco and waiting to hear back. Apart from that I m just mooching about, taking the dogs for walks and spending more than I thought.