Public Warning / Notice for fellow PH'ers

[lazyitus]

I am concerned that we all fair well, so I've compiled a list of necessarys which will be on sale soon in Teds shop.

Please ensure you carry the following in the upcoming arctic conditions that are destined to be the coldest winter since 877BC. Apparently.

Ice scraper - Ideal for scraping ice from your windscreen so you can top up the JD and coke for your drive to work.

Shovel - Ideal for clearing the 20ft drifts from your driveway. Can also be used for ttting numpties, digging a suitable shallow grave and then patting the soil and ice down afterwards.

Bag of sand or cat litter - Ideal for giving extra grip. Alternatively, empty the sand into the boot, stick your kids in there and tell them to pretend they're on a beach and to stop whinging about the -28 deg symbol on the dash. Cat litter can be used to disguise the sight of everyones poo after being stranded for days with no fresh food or water.

Warm clothes, including boots and gloves, for all passengers. - Ideal for keeping warm should you get stranded. Alternatively, just climb from the window and knock on someones door for a nice warm cup of tea.

Plenty of drinking water and energy snacks for everyone. - Can be used in conjunction with the sand to give a friendly, family type feel as experienced on trips to the beach.

Flashlight with extra battery - Ideal for when it goes dark. These are the real deal in emergencys. You can pass hours playing 'morse code' games with other trapped motorists.

Additional antifreeze - Excellent for (believe it or not) preventing freezing. Also effective in killing off numpties via a force feed, should they fail to sucumb to a sharp cosh on the bonce.

Fair well, my shivvering chums.

[Prof Higgins]

lazyitus said:

Flashlight with extra battery - Ideal for when it goes dark. These are the real deal in emergencys. You can pass hours playing 'morse code' games with other trapped motorists.

Thanks for the tips. However you forgot the best thing about having a torch when bored and it is dark, the classic torch under chin trick for scaring the small children in the boot. Watching that look of horror cross the little one faces, family fun at its best.

[r988]

lazyitus said:

Please ensure you carry the following in the upcoming arctic conditions that are destined to be the coldest winter since 877BC. Apparently.

Obviously you dont remember the winter of 790BC then, these young whippersnappers, no idea

[mel]

r988 said:

lazyitus said: Please ensure you carry the following in the upcoming arctic conditions that are destined to be the coldest winter since 877BC. Apparently. Obviously you dont remember the winter of 790BC then, these young whippersnappers, no idea

Errrrr wouldn't 790BC be more recently than the extra grim winter of 877BC, you must be getting senile in your old age

[cotty]

Prof Higgins said:

lazyitus said: Flashlight with extra battery - Ideal for when it goes dark. These are the real deal in emergencys. You can pass hours playing 'morse code' games with other trapped motorists. Thanks for the tips. However you forgot the best thing about having a torch when bored and it is dark, the classic torch under chin trick for scaring the small children in the boot. Watching that look of horror cross the little one faces, family fun at its best.

Or even better night time at Le Mans with a couple of powerful torches and all the smoke from BBQ's you can pretend its a light sabre

lazyitus said:

Warm clothes, including boots and gloves, for all passengers. - Ideal for keeping warm should you get stranded.

Also handy for standing around cold windy carparks at car meets. full thermals are going on if today is anything to go on. Good job I have my PH paddock jacket and fleese hat

[lord summerisle]

lazyitus said:

Ice scraper Shovel Bag of sand or cat litter Warm clothes, including boots and gloves, for all passengers. Plenty of drinking water and energy snacks for everyone. Flashlight with extra battery Additional antifreeze

Whaz'tha talkin' abart? thats part of my summer surivial kit oop 'ere in deepest dar'ess Lankie- plus so'wester, waterproof, wellingtons, life raft...






in case weather teaks a turn fo' tha bette'

[BliarOut]

mel said:

r988 said: lazyitus said: Please ensure you carry the following in the upcoming arctic conditions that are destined to be the coldest winter since 877BC. Apparently. Obviously you dont remember the winter of 790BC then, these young whippersnappers, no idea Errrrr wouldn't 790BC be more recently than the extra grim winter of 877BC, you must be getting senile in your old age

Well worth a bump

[Rob_T]

just bought some foam lagging for the water pipes... 13mm foam for me 22 and 28mm water pipes. nothing worse than pipes freezing and bursting: leads to no heat, no hot water and a nagging wife. dunno which is worse...

cost of tranquility is £1.25 for a 2m length... once i've done my lagging i'm gonna get battered.

[simpo two]

Rob_T said:

nothing worse than pipes freezing and bursting: leads to no heat, no hot water and a nagging wife. dunno which is worse...

Nagging wife. Heat and hot water can be fixed

[GKP]

It's starting to get a bit chilly down here in sunny Hampshire. I'm gonna have to rethink my shorts and t-shirt wardrobe soon.