Discussion
Sorry for a depressing thread on friday but, my good drinking pal has been told the cancer he has on his chest, kidney and lung is inoperable. He starts chemo next monday, can anyone tell me how effective this is? I know it's a bit subjective but he is a fit and active 45 year old but still smokes! despite my nagging, recent checks have shown his weight is gaining but his voicebox has been affected and his voice is suffering.
TIA
Pete
TIA
Pete
Can't help on the practical advice bit of this, but just wanted to send him my best.
On a lighter note, my Dad had Leaukemia and only had one course of chemo-he's been in remission ever since (4 years now) so there is still plenty of hope.
Let's hope his treatment is as successful.
Steve
On a lighter note, my Dad had Leaukemia and only had one course of chemo-he's been in remission ever since (4 years now) so there is still plenty of hope.
Let's hope his treatment is as successful.
Steve
Pete - I'm really sorry about your friend. It is a really difficult time for everyone and as a friend it can be very difficult to watch your friend going through this kind of thing.
I'm no medic and can't give you any medical stuff but I can say be there for him during the ups and downs and remember that hard though it is for you to watch him it's a hell of a lot harder for him (and his family) to go through so give him some leeway if he behaves abnormally at times.
Good luck to him and to his family and friends.
I'm no medic and can't give you any medical stuff but I can say be there for him during the ups and downs and remember that hard though it is for you to watch him it's a hell of a lot harder for him (and his family) to go through so give him some leeway if he behaves abnormally at times.
Good luck to him and to his family and friends.
Very good mate of mine is dying from Liver cancer. He wants us all to treat him just as we always have so we do, to the point of calling him Sicknote.
Don't try and stop your mate doing anything he wants to, if he starts smoking 100 cigs a day, it's hardly going to make any difference now is it? My mate drinks like a fish. If they stop they might live longer, but theyt are enjoying their last few months their way.
My advice, don't shy away from the subject around him and treat him normally.
Don't try and stop your mate doing anything he wants to, if he starts smoking 100 cigs a day, it's hardly going to make any difference now is it? My mate drinks like a fish. If they stop they might live longer, but theyt are enjoying their last few months their way.
My advice, don't shy away from the subject around him and treat him normally.
Cancer is an evil little shit... as most of us know all to well; whether through friends and family or from bitter personal experience.
Chemo and radiotherapy can both be successful, but it depends on the type of cancer, and where it's located. I can't recommend enough that your mate (or you) gets in touch with Cancer Research. They are fantastically helpful and really can make things better and give good advice; often the case that a problem shared is a problem halved.
I wish your friend all the best, but bear in mind he'll need the support of his friends - and that is something you truely cannot put a price on.
Chemo and radiotherapy can both be successful, but it depends on the type of cancer, and where it's located. I can't recommend enough that your mate (or you) gets in touch with Cancer Research. They are fantastically helpful and really can make things better and give good advice; often the case that a problem shared is a problem halved.
I wish your friend all the best, but bear in mind he'll need the support of his friends - and that is something you truely cannot put a price on.
One of the older regulars of the working mens club I worked at as a student was informed he had liver cancer. He asked what the prognosis was with regard to life-expectancy and the Dr told him to sell his house and enjoy himself, as he reckoned he had approx 3 months left.
So, Alec (who was unmarried and had no immediate family) sold his house within a month and moved into a Council owned pensioner's bungalow. He then proceeded to live the life of Riley, spending his time to'ing and fro'ing between the club and the bookie's 2 doors down.
3 YEARS later, he was still doing it(!), living each day as if it was his last. He died approx 3.5 years after finding out he was dying and by all accounts had a 'kin good time along the way. In fairness, he suffered badly in his last couple of weeks but if I was given a choice on how to go, I think this scenario would be pretty high on my list.
So, Alec (who was unmarried and had no immediate family) sold his house within a month and moved into a Council owned pensioner's bungalow. He then proceeded to live the life of Riley, spending his time to'ing and fro'ing between the club and the bookie's 2 doors down.
3 YEARS later, he was still doing it(!), living each day as if it was his last. He died approx 3.5 years after finding out he was dying and by all accounts had a 'kin good time along the way. In fairness, he suffered badly in his last couple of weeks but if I was given a choice on how to go, I think this scenario would be pretty high on my list.
apache said:
Thanks guys, he's pretty pragmatic and has suffered tragedy in his life already, he's doing well considering. I think I'd go to pieces
I think you have to be. The fact is, many forms of cancer are treatable, and some are even cureable (technically). People are actually very good at adapting to the things that are thrown at them. He will want his mates about, but equally he may want some time to himself, but whatever you do, don't treat him differently.
Podie said:
... gets in touch with Cancer Research. They are fantastically helpful and really can make things better and give good advice; often the case that a problem shared is a problem halved.
I wish your friend all the best, but bear in mind he'll need the support of his friends - and that is something you truely cannot put a price on.
Can support Podie's views totally. Even if he does not need the support now, let him know that you are there any time he needs you. Speaking with Cancer Reasearch means you will be more preared for the time when he does need you.
Bob
God bless him and more so his family. I have lost close friends and relative to various forms of cancer. The one sure thing is there is no sure thing; everyone reacts differently to treatment. This sounds off, but having a positive attitude over a defeatist one DOES help! Never give up. Advances in treatments come out literally weeks apart. My best friend's father was bought a few years more by treatments at M.D.Anderson in Houston that were coming out just months before he probably would have died orginally.
My mum died last year after 8 years of Cancer which was pretty good considering she was only given 5 years to live.
It's much more important to live the life you have regardless of how long or short someone estimates it may be. Having Cancer doesn't stop you from doing something worthwhile today, nor will it stop you from getting killed tomorrow by something completely different. My mum managed to get a lot done in her last few years including-
Finishing restoring a Cottage
Being custume designer and maker for a medieval battle re enaction society
Helping my Dad run his business
A surprising amount of people turned up for her funeral, the chapel was packed, and they all had some story to tell. There was someone who she'd lent her car to when theirs broke down, there was someone who she'd made a wedding dress for, the list of small and large tales of help given was really very surprising.
She didn't tell us was ill until it became obvious and even then she just told us that it wasn't anything to worry about, in fact that was the very last thing she said to me, just two days before she died.
Some people reckon chemo is not actually a very good cure, it's just been accepted to the point where it's hard to challenge, a bit like putting babies on their fronts to sleep (remember the back to sleep campagain?) I don't know enough to comment but if your friend doesn't respond to chemo he may want to ask about some of the alternative remedies.
Anyway...
I do hope your friend gets better.
It's much more important to live the life you have regardless of how long or short someone estimates it may be. Having Cancer doesn't stop you from doing something worthwhile today, nor will it stop you from getting killed tomorrow by something completely different. My mum managed to get a lot done in her last few years including-
Finishing restoring a Cottage
Being custume designer and maker for a medieval battle re enaction society
Helping my Dad run his business
A surprising amount of people turned up for her funeral, the chapel was packed, and they all had some story to tell. There was someone who she'd lent her car to when theirs broke down, there was someone who she'd made a wedding dress for, the list of small and large tales of help given was really very surprising.
She didn't tell us was ill until it became obvious and even then she just told us that it wasn't anything to worry about, in fact that was the very last thing she said to me, just two days before she died.
Some people reckon chemo is not actually a very good cure, it's just been accepted to the point where it's hard to challenge, a bit like putting babies on their fronts to sleep (remember the back to sleep campagain?) I don't know enough to comment but if your friend doesn't respond to chemo he may want to ask about some of the alternative remedies.
Anyway...
I do hope your friend gets better.
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