Best man's speeches... any tips?
Best man's speeches... any tips?
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Sonic Nonsense

Original Poster:

283 posts

255 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
Argh, have to do my best man's speech at my brothers (gavinr) wedding next month, and am totally clueless. Anyone got any hints and tips?



www.sonicnonsense.com

gibo993

966 posts

295 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
www.hitched.co.uk

1000's to Plagourise (sp)

tim2100

6,288 posts

287 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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Loads of websites out there, just tap best man speech into google.

Did mine for my mates wedding 2 months ago today. One cardinal sin is do not embarrass the bride, or either mother. Also Don't make it to personal. A lot of the thing my mate & I got upto when we were younger, would not have been appreciated by their grandparents, prospective in-laws etc.etc.

timmy30

9,325 posts

257 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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Here's one "weddings are a very emotional, and todays has been no exception, ..........even the cakes in tears" Boom boom dah

benyeats

12,159 posts

260 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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Been to several weddings over the past few years, have noticed the same jokes in the BM's speech thanks to the numerous web sites. Better to be original if at all possible.

Ben

iaint

10,040 posts

268 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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Don't prepare. Get plastered. Insult the Bride, her parents, the fat bridesmaid.

Post a link to the vid.

zcacogp

11,239 posts

274 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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Be tactful, remember that you are (traditionally) recommending the groom to the Brides' parents as an all 'round good chap.

Pull his leg, but don't humiliate him. Yes, knock him down a number of pegs (the more the merrier) but end on a good note, and don't fail to say positive things in the speech. If you can, be sure to put yourself down a fair bit as well. Always looks good.

A practical point. Find out when his birthday is, and then find out which celebrities have a birthday on the same day. Loks of good opportunities to draw comparisons. This can make for an easy way in if you are unsure where to start. For other possibilities, don't be afraid to approach the groom's parents for embarassing stories of his youth. Everyone loves to hear about little Billy as a 5-year-old wetting himself when a steam train went "Toot" behind him. (And Billy will hate it as well!)

All in all, ask yourself if you would be happy hearing what is said, said about you. If you wouldn't, DON'T SAY IT. And don't, no matter what, say anything that is not true. Also, remember that you may be speaking to a very mixed audience - young and old, and possibly from different backgrounds.

I've been best man 3 times, and taken well over 100 hours to write each speech. Yes, it takes a long time. But I like to think that each one has been well recieved and that the effort has both paid off and shown on the day.


Oli.

P.S. Remember to toast the happy couple's future when you end.

P.P.S. Usual public speaking rules apply. Speak slowly, clearly, and project your voice. All the standard stuff ...

2 Smokin Barrels

32,037 posts

265 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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Be brief.

hugoagogo

23,437 posts

263 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
read all those best man speeches, and miss out the regular old jokes that are in all of them, especially the queen mother one

although, my best man did these:

"a lot of people have asked me if mrs hugo is expecting a little one.........well she better be or she'll be very disappointed tonight"

"29 years ago, mrshugo's parents were putting her to bed with a dummy......nothing changes!"

and a very old one, reading the cards, read one out "hello big boy....why you no write no more......why you no send no money no more......when you come back to bangkok.....the kids all miss you....love ting tong"

chassis 33

6,194 posts

312 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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A speech should be like a lady's skirt...

...long enough to be decent, short enough to be attractive.



Regards
Iain

Size Nine Elm

5,167 posts

314 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
chassis 33 said:
A speech should be like a lady's skirt...

...long enough to be decent, short enough to be attractive.


... and with enough flair to keep everyone focused on the main points...

2 Smokin Barrels

32,037 posts

265 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
Size Nine Elm said:
chassis 33 said:
A speech should be like a lady's skirt...

...long enough to be decent, short enough to be attractive.


... and with enough flair to keep everyone focused on the main points...



...and something about putting your hand up.........

speedychrissie

2,994 posts

269 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
one thing that may be very useful to help keep the thing running smoothley:

find out if you are giving the final speech and if so:
let the catering staff roughly how long your speech is likely to take so that they can get ready whatever they need to take out afterwards(possibly starters or pudding depending on how it is being run).

i have been on the waitering staff for about 30 wedding receptions now and there have been far too many when we had no idea how many speeches we should expect or how long they might take.

just my 2p

chris

miniman

30,112 posts

292 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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A line my brother used earlier this year at my wedding, after he and I had stood up at the front of the church quite a few minutes before the wife arrived:

"I said to him, better to be premature in the church than the honeymoon suite"

The little bastard.

pmanson

13,388 posts

283 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
miniman said:
A line my brother used earlier this year at my wedding, after he and I had stood up at the front of the church quite a few minutes before the wife arrived:

"I said to him, better to be premature in the church than the honeymoon suite"

The little bastard.



Classic!

hiasakite

2,553 posts

277 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
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assuming you know the grooms family- get blown pictures of him as a baby (preferably with chocolate all over his face), his school pics.. any pictures of him through the years so long as they are not 'distastfull'...

write the speech around the sequence of pictures...

So long as the pictures are sufficently cute or 'funny' in themselves.. it should go down well.. and takes the heat off you during the speach..


Knock him down a few- but also build him that bit higher, keep doing this and end on a note that leaves the bride and her family glad he's her fella...


And be prepared to rewrite it again and again.. and practice it a few times so you know virtually all of it off by heart.... ..makes it run smoother on the day

Tony427

2,873 posts

263 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
I used a few props as symbols of the batchelordom that my mate was giving up and presented them to his new bride..........the little black book ( size of a house brick, read a few entries out "Big Bertha 5 stars etc" ), his "quick half" glass from down the pub, (a 2 litre Stein ) , his " action slacks" (grotesque crimpelene flares) that I claimed he used to wear when chasing skirt down the nightclub .........also a mousetrap wrapped in a small box
" something he often uses to stop the patter of tiny feet".... etc

Cheers,

Tony



Cheers,

Tony

JonRB

80,081 posts

302 months

Wednesday 23rd November 2005
quotequote all
chassis 33 said:
A speech should be like a lady's skirt...

...long enough to be decent, short enough to be attractive.
I always thought it was "long enough to cover all the relevant details, yet short enough to maintain interest"

tobeee

1,436 posts

298 months

Thursday 24th November 2005
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Hi Jason. I've done this a few times, and for speech structure there is loads of advice on the interweb, but for the content, just be yourself. If you're not a funny person, avoid poaching a funny person's speech! Also, practice the speech OUT LOUD (in your car or somewhere secret if you're embarrassed). It's incredible how loud you need to do the speech on the day, and I guarantee it'll take you to or three secret practice runs before you loosen up enough to do it properly LOUD!

Here's another thing most people forget. When you're at the church, you are standing with your back to lots of people, so try and stand firmly and evenly on both feet. At all costs avoid doing that ugly thing where you periodically transfer weight from one leg to the other so your bum shifts an inch to the side. It looks really bad!

Have fun!

Bomber Denton

8,762 posts

298 months

Thursday 24th November 2005
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A good ice breaker I used,

Open your speach with, 'This morning before we went to the church today the bride's mother insisted on reading my speach so if anything's been changed you'll have to bear with me.....'

Then you unwrap your sheet of paper to show big holes have been cut out all over the place.

Tip - write the speach on after cutting!