Diary of a BMW driver
Discussion
The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my
motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that
the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip
road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in
order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise
his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his
horn.) Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW
lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW
Drivers only?) Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph
enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I
noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of
my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to
within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he
shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of
course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I
could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!
He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him,
he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the
hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man
Gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had
to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some
points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was
only allowed 3) But the man at the Police Station said that because I
drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I
won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now that's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!"
motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that
the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip
road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in
order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise
his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his
horn.) Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW
lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW
Drivers only?) Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph
enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I
noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of
my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got to
within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he
shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of
course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I
could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!
He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him,
he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the
hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man
Gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had
to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some
points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was
only allowed 3) But the man at the Police Station said that because I
drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I
won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now that's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!"
)
And I though it was just me who'd noticed that in a large percentage of cases, when there is a complete lunatic less than 1 ft from my bumper, in the wet, on a foggy night it is a BMW driver. Whether on the continent or here in the UK, that marque seems to attract t
ts - though I am sure there are exceptions.
ts - though I am sure there are exceptions.johnfm said:Funny, I see such morons in BMWs, Audis, Merecedes, white vans, Imprezas, Volvos, Fords, Vauxhalls and various other vehicles.
And I though it was just me who'd noticed that in a large percentage of cases, when there is a complete lunatic less than 1 ft from my bumper, in the wet, on a foggy night it is a BMW driver. Whether on the continent or here in the UK, that marque seems to attract t
I wonder why you felt the need to jump into a thread posting a ten year old joke in order to give us the benefit of your wisdom and your profound insight.
Zod said:
And I though it was just me who'd noticed that in a large percentage of cases, when there is a complete lunatic less than 1 ft from my bumper, in the wet, on a foggy night it is a BMW driver. Whether on the continent or here in the UK, that marque seems to attract t
I wonder why you felt the need to jump into a thread posting a ten year old joke in order to give us the benefit of your wisdom and your profound insight.
Especially when he has no cars listed under his profile.
andy mac said:
The whole 'car owner stereotype' is sooo boring. It gets brought out on special occasions for some reason, and have of yet to figure out why.
Ti's true. Did you know that it is obligatory for SUV owners to do the school run of a morning. (Even if you've got no kids) and God forbid it is a crime not to take up at least two parking spaces at Sainsbury's these days...
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