Help me understand the mindset of an anti-social person
Discussion
I've always been interested in what 'makes people tick', and one of the things that fascinates me the most is, what is going on inside the mind of somebody who carries out an anti-social act. I'm not talking about youths deliberately upsetting their local communities, I don't think there's anything of interest there, I'm think about fairly normal people who do things such as-
park blocking someone's drive because they are in a hurry to drop the kids at school, shop etc or
jump a queue or
drive a slow vehicle along a country road, and not pull in from time to time to let people past or
meeting people at airport arrivals, and block other people coming out so they can have a big cuddle or
well, I'm sure you get the idea
So, what I want to know is what they are actually thinking when they do this stuff? Are they unaware of the people they are discommoding? or do they simply not care?
>> Edited by singlecoil on Wednesday 7th December 08:34
park blocking someone's drive because they are in a hurry to drop the kids at school, shop etc or
jump a queue or
drive a slow vehicle along a country road, and not pull in from time to time to let people past or
meeting people at airport arrivals, and block other people coming out so they can have a big cuddle or
well, I'm sure you get the idea
So, what I want to know is what they are actually thinking when they do this stuff? Are they unaware of the people they are discommoding? or do they simply not care?
>> Edited by singlecoil on Wednesday 7th December 08:34
Sheer arrogance, they really don't care if they cause inconvenience to anyone else, so long as they have the easiest path to what ever they want (like the people who park in the 'pick-up' bays at my local Sainsbury's). I try my best to be a considerate person, so it really winds me up when stuff like this happens, even though it's rather petty and not really putting me out.
Cotty said:
Are they unaware of the people they are discommoding? or do they simply not care?
probably a bit of both
Yup - I put it down to a large dose of lack of awareness (of how they impact others), lack of consideration (I'll only be blocking the drive for a minute) and some general arrogance (my needs/desires are more important than yours)...
I hope I never fall into the latter two categories but, from time to time, I can appear to be inconsiderate or rude by sheer innatention. People often treat this as though it were the latter tow 'deliberate' errors which raises blood pressure all round.
In general I assume that it's not willful and it keeps my blood pressure down.
boiler said:
At my local gym, there are a number of drivers (that are definitely not disabled or with child) that park in the disabled/mother and child spots next to the front door, rather than walk an extra 30metres. Always amused me!
Especially as they probably run more than that on the treadmill
iaint said:
and some general arrogance (my needs/desires are more important than yours)...
Before my road became residents parking only, we had commuters parking across our driveway at least once a week so we couldn't get our cars in/out. One commuter decided that parking across the drive wasn't enough....and chose to park on our driveway. Fortunately, we saw her doing it and asked what she was doing - she said she had every right to park there (??) as there were no more spaces on the road and she didn't want to have to walk any further to the train station. My father told her she was *more* than welcome to park there for the day - at either a £250 charge payable NOW or we'd call the police as she was trespassing and her car wouldn't be there at the end of the day. She chose to move her car
Still amazes me that she had the nerve to try and park in our drive! I could never just randomly park like that! I think that's the minority though...I think most people just don't realise what they are actually doing.
- A
It would be good to hear some justification from people that do things like this. How about people that drop litter? Would someone that does that please justify themselves. Or people that come to pick up a mate and sit outside hooting their horn rather than get out of the car and knock?
Perhaps we all do these things to some extent but don't even realise it. There may be people on another website moaning about folk that do things that are generally not considered anti-social by the average poster here.
I remember a thread a while back about "empathy". There was a questionnaire to complete and alot of PHs seemed to be quite pleased that they ended up with a very low score! I found that very strange.
Happy, everyone?
>> Edited by nubbin on Wednesday 7th December 09:31
Perhaps we all do these things to some extent but don't even realise it. There may be people on another website moaning about folk that do things that are generally not considered anti-social by the average poster here.
I remember a thread a while back about "empathy". There was a questionnaire to complete and alot of PHs seemed to be quite pleased that they ended up with a very low score! I found that very strange.
Happy, everyone?
>> Edited by nubbin on Wednesday 7th December 09:31
We live in an increasingly arrogant and selfish society, and it has been coming on for years. it appears that it is now cool to ignore or otherwise malign people - you only have to listen to Radio1 presenters to understand that insulting someone is considered "hip". Look at all the stuff on TV - more and more shows specifically designed to trick, insult or otherwise denigrate one's fellow man are increasingly popular, and watching another's discomfort or apparent stupidity is seen as entertainment.
Look at adverts - why do so many adverts portray half the population (MEN) as lazy, unthinking, unfeeling, stupid, ignorant, brainless, clumsy oafs, and women as smart, clever (in it's derogatory form), manipulative and superior beings? Is that really the behavioural stereotypes we want our children to grow up with?
As far as driving is concerned, i have noticed that fewer and fewer people acknowledge you when you assist them - e.g. by letting them out of a junction etc. And women NEVER drive courteously - they always turn across you if you're turning right at a T-junction, and never allow you out. (But that's for another thread).
Look at adverts - why do so many adverts portray half the population (MEN) as lazy, unthinking, unfeeling, stupid, ignorant, brainless, clumsy oafs, and women as smart, clever (in it's derogatory form), manipulative and superior beings? Is that really the behavioural stereotypes we want our children to grow up with?
As far as driving is concerned, i have noticed that fewer and fewer people acknowledge you when you assist them - e.g. by letting them out of a junction etc. And women NEVER drive courteously - they always turn across you if you're turning right at a T-junction, and never allow you out. (But that's for another thread).
minicity said:
It would be good to hear some justification from people that do things like this. How about people that drop litter? Would someone that does that please justify themselves. Or people that come to pick up a mate and sit outside hooting their horn rather than get out of the car and knock?
Perhaps we all do these things to some extent but don't even realise it. There may be people on another website moaning about folk that do things that are generally not considered anti-social by the average poster here.
I remember a thread a while back about "empathy". There was a questionnaire to complete and alot of PHs seemed to be quite pleased that they ended up with a very low score! I found that very strange. :confused
But not as strange as the poor devils that make a mistake posting a smiley, try to correct it, then make another mistake, eventually leading to 3 posts in a row. Shall I try to do another smiley and risk messing up again? Here goes .....
That was close, I was just about to click on "Submit reply" when I noticed I'd written " :confuded: "nubbin said:
We live in an increasingly arrogant and selfish society,.... snip snip .....And women NEVER drive courteously - they always turn across you if you're turning right at a T-junction, and never allow you out.
Perfect example of the "wimmin and their pigcarriers" yesterday. Going home for lunch and a skip lorry was dropping an empty skip, blocking the road completely. I'm no 4 in line patiently waiting for him to finish, when 30ish wimmin in her pigcarrier screams down the outside passing all 4 cars and stops a foot from his cab and starts hooting her horn and abusing the driver..... needless to say the skipdriver gave her an earful and told her in no uncertain terms about sex and travel...... BUT wimmin does not try to back up but insists on being the first through the gap as soon as it had opened 1cm!!!.....
FFS such behaviour from anybody should be a red card, but "wimmin in pigcarriers" (females driving people carriers for the uninitiated) seem to be the worst at the moment!!!
So yesterday I was in town - and wanted to cross the road. So I go to a pedestrian crossing. Press the button and wait. Light goes red...I start walking across - but I clock the 7.5 tonner approaching and work out he's not bothering to stop. I actually stop half way whilst crossing to avoid being run over as he simply ploughs on through the red light. Its not as if he didn't see me. Its not as if he didn't see the red light. He was just being a 
.
I walk back to my car (takes ten minutes) and set off - using a one-way street - only to find the same has stopped in the middle of the street blocking it totally. He's got the back open and is starting to unload something. He's delivering it to a office building with more than enough parking space for him to back into. Instead of using it (why not? maybe he doesn't like reversing?) he's chosen to completely block the road. .
So this guy just plainly didn't give a shit. The didn't care if he ran me over and he didn't care if he inconvenienced many, many people trying to use the street. What a !
But, there again, I didn't stop off at the copshop to try and get an officer to go and make his life unpleasant. Nor did I bother to explain the error of his ways to him. So he probably thinks its alright. So - to the rest of humanity - I apologise for not beating the shit out of him on the spot. He's still a , though.
>> Edited by Don on Wednesday 7th December 09:57
. I walk back to my car (takes ten minutes) and set off - using a one-way street - only to find the same
has stopped in the middle of the street blocking it totally. He's got the back open and is starting to unload something. He's delivering it to a office building with more than enough parking space for him to back into. Instead of using it (why not? maybe he doesn't like reversing?) he's chosen to completely block the road. . So this guy just plainly didn't give a shit. The
didn't care if he ran me over and he didn't care if he inconvenienced many, many people trying to use the street. What a ! But, there again, I didn't stop off at the copshop to try and get an officer to go and make his life unpleasant. Nor did I bother to explain the error of his ways to him. So he probably thinks its alright. So - to the rest of humanity - I apologise for not beating the shit out of him on the spot. He's still a
, though. >> Edited by Don on Wednesday 7th December 09:57
Some interesting posts about wimmin drivig like f1 drivers and screaming abuse etc.
IMO people are knackered, we're working longer hours than ever, and now in almost all families both partners are working full time and so all of the household chores and looking after kids etc comes on top of office work for both.
We as a country are up to our eye balls in debt, we were told that this was because we were wealthy, how else could we borrow so much if we weren't rich? As incomes have risen debt has risen even faster and the strain is starting to show.
Chances are that the stressed out antisocial nutter is working 60hours a week, is several hundred thousands pounds in debt ( incl mortgage debt ) and has heard that people are being made redundant in their company ( most companies seem to be laying people off right now ), so faces loosing the lot, the car, the house everything they borrowed to buy. And to top it all every second of the waking day is devoted to either working or chores, no leisure time. Most people in the UK are also no longer getting enough sleep, 8 hours of quality sleep is reommended, I'm sure very few people are getting anything like that.
And if you're exploding with hyper sensitive rage at every little infringement that other people make when your'e out and about, maybe your'e one of the people above too, and you're displacing your'e stress/anger.
Each evening the commuters arrive home to the area where I live and proceed to drive like utter t
ts around small country lanes, why would you drive at 70mph on a windy wet country lane? Suicidal? No........
..... the poor sods get up a 5.30am to make the 6.40am train to get to work for 8.30am, on the way home the tube is crap, they have no control, the train is delayed...they have no control.....finally they reach their car, something they can control, even if it means risking there own life than extra 20seconds they save by driving the last 2 miles home at 70mph rather than 45mph seems vital. Time poverty.
The same frantic frustration then runs through all aspects of their life, between work and sleep there are only a few hours if that, and they're for cooking a chores.
I can say the above with some authority as I have been there.
Though every cloud has a silver lining. Because we are all apprently 'richer than ever before' at least thats' what New Labour and the BBC keep telling me.
>> Edited by axeman30 on Wednesday 7th December 10:01
IMO people are knackered, we're working longer hours than ever, and now in almost all families both partners are working full time and so all of the household chores and looking after kids etc comes on top of office work for both.
We as a country are up to our eye balls in debt, we were told that this was because we were wealthy, how else could we borrow so much if we weren't rich? As incomes have risen debt has risen even faster and the strain is starting to show.
Chances are that the stressed out antisocial nutter is working 60hours a week, is several hundred thousands pounds in debt ( incl mortgage debt ) and has heard that people are being made redundant in their company ( most companies seem to be laying people off right now ), so faces loosing the lot, the car, the house everything they borrowed to buy. And to top it all every second of the waking day is devoted to either working or chores, no leisure time. Most people in the UK are also no longer getting enough sleep, 8 hours of quality sleep is reommended, I'm sure very few people are getting anything like that.
And if you're exploding with hyper sensitive rage at every little infringement that other people make when your'e out and about, maybe your'e one of the people above too, and you're displacing your'e stress/anger.
Each evening the commuters arrive home to the area where I live and proceed to drive like utter t
ts around small country lanes, why would you drive at 70mph on a windy wet country lane? Suicidal? No........ ..... the poor sods get up a 5.30am to make the 6.40am train to get to work for 8.30am, on the way home the tube is crap, they have no control, the train is delayed...they have no control.....finally they reach their car, something they can control, even if it means risking there own life than extra 20seconds they save by driving the last 2 miles home at 70mph rather than 45mph seems vital. Time poverty.
The same frantic frustration then runs through all aspects of their life, between work and sleep there are only a few hours if that, and they're for cooking a chores.
I can say the above with some authority as I have been there.
Though every cloud has a silver lining. Because we are all apprently 'richer than ever before' at least thats' what New Labour and the BBC keep telling me.
>> Edited by axeman30 on Wednesday 7th December 10:01
a pet hate of mineAll the above are really interesting and make good reading ,and so true.
My take on some of the "guilty rude ones" are they adopt the attitude ,"O they'le wait"
and i read this that someone is willing to inconvenience others to make their own life easier,and,are taking advantage of the "best not say anything" atitude some of us have.
A small example,i picked up two blokes in my cab and take them to an address,we get there and they pay.
They then sit in the back of the cab and phone the people inside the house to see if they are there and "Wazup".
Me...(calm voice)"Scuse me, ive got to go,,,jog on"
Them...(casualy)"we wont be a minute mate we're just phoning our mates"
ME....(firm voice)"Out now ,or your coming back to town"
They resentfuly alight the cab and look at me like ime a party pooper.
In short its a bit like "the builders smoking in your house thread",if you let some people take the p155 they will.
I feel the way round it is if we all say something,not nasty,"but hey do you mind moving the car as your blocking me in" calmly will suffice.
It will get you much further than "OI geez move the F
kin car",,,if we all keep reminding them ,then sooner or later they might get the message.
My take on some of the "guilty rude ones" are they adopt the attitude ,"O they'le wait"
and i read this that someone is willing to inconvenience others to make their own life easier,and,are taking advantage of the "best not say anything" atitude some of us have.
A small example,i picked up two blokes in my cab and take them to an address,we get there and they pay.
They then sit in the back of the cab and phone the people inside the house to see if they are there and "Wazup".
Me...(calm voice)"Scuse me, ive got to go,,,jog on"
Them...(casualy)"we wont be a minute mate we're just phoning our mates"
ME....(firm voice)"Out now ,or your coming back to town"
They resentfuly alight the cab and look at me like ime a party pooper.
In short its a bit like "the builders smoking in your house thread",if you let some people take the p155 they will.
I feel the way round it is if we all say something,not nasty,"but hey do you mind moving the car as your blocking me in" calmly will suffice.
It will get you much further than "OI geez move the F
kin car",,,if we all keep reminding them ,then sooner or later they might get the message.nubbin said:
We live in an increasingly arrogant and selfish society, and it has been coming on for years. it appears that it is now cool to ignore or otherwise malign people - you only have to listen to Radio1 presenters to understand that insulting someone is considered "hip". Look at all the stuff on TV - more and more shows specifically designed to trick, insult or otherwise denigrate one's fellow man are increasingly popular, and watching another's discomfort or apparent stupidity is seen as entertainment.
Look at adverts - why do so many adverts portray half the population (MEN) as lazy, unthinking, unfeeling, stupid, ignorant, brainless, clumsy oafs, and women as smart, clever (in it's derogatory form), manipulative and superior beings? Is that really the behavioural stereotypes we want our children to grow up with?
As far as driving is concerned, i have noticed that fewer and fewer people acknowledge you when you assist them - e.g. by letting them out of a junction etc. And women NEVER drive courteously - they always turn across you if you're turning right at a T-junction, and never allow you out. (But that's for another thread).
Good post!I think some people do make genuine mistakes, whilst others just don't think that their actions might be inconveniencing others.
However, I do think our society is becoming more selfish. You only have to look at the number of people who don't "bother" to indicate when they come to a roundabout, causing everyone else to stop, give way, only to realise that the c**t was turning left all along!
However, I do think our society is becoming more selfish. You only have to look at the number of people who don't "bother" to indicate when they come to a roundabout, causing everyone else to stop, give way, only to realise that the c**t was turning left all along!
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